A What?
By ralst
You're a Borg?
Correct Lieutenant.
Okay...what's a Borg?
I am Borg.
Right...So I'm guessing it's some kind of Nordic beauty pageant producing group?
Lieutenant?
You know, like one of those genetically enhanced races that only produced total hotties.
Hotties?
Yeah, babes.
Lieutenant, I believe your head trauma may have caused more damage than mere memory loss.
Huh? I feel fine.
Very well, then I shall begin again. Your name is B'Elanna Torres. You are the Chief Engineer aboard the starship Voyager; which is currently lost somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.
Er cutie! One little question.
Yes. And my name is Seven of Nine, not cutie.
Okay cutie, whatever you say. Now I get the part about my name and that I'm some kind of high ranking grease monkey, but starship? Did I like fall into a rabbit hole and wake up in a sexed up version of Star Trek?
What is Star Trek?
Cheesy sixties tv show. That's not the point, what I want to...
You remember this 'tv' show?
What? Yeah sure.
Interesting.
If you say so cutie. Personally I always thought it was overrated. I mean all the captain ever did was bed every alien babe he met and blow things up. Mind you Spock was pretty cool.
When I said interesting I was referring to the fact you can remember this particular show and it would appear in quite some detail.
Oh right. So not a total memory loss thing then?
It would appear not Lieutenant.
Hey cutie, why don't you ever call me by my name? Or is lieutenant some kind of Borgie sex talk?
The Borg do not engage in sex talk.
Oh. So you're a doer not a talker. I can go with that.
Lieutenant! What are you doing?
I'm cutting to the chase.
I do not believe cutting to the chase requires you to remove all your clothing.
Sure it does cutie. Now how the hell do I get you out of this catsuit? It may be a paradise to the eye but it's like trying to out riddle the sphinx.
Lieutenant!
Oh, ticklish! I like that in my women. At least I think I do.
Lieutenant! Stop immediately!
Huh? What's up cutie?
Your behaviour is unacceptable.
Oh God! Don't tell me you're one of these chicks who needs wining and dining before she puts out. I so can't be bothered with all that right now. Do you have any idea how hot you are? I'm practically drowning in drool just looking at you, there is no way I'd last an entire meal without ravishing you senseless.
I...I....Lieutenant? I...erm?
Yes cutie?
If you release the catch at the nape of my neck the 'catsuit' comes away in one piece.
Oooh goodie.
The End...well actually this is where the 18(NC-17) scene would come in but I can't write those...or maybe I can? *Cue Baldrick music* I have a cunning plan....