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Against The Wall
By Demeter


There's a scream rising from somewhere deep within, always held back.

Lindsay hasn't made it to where she is now, one of the detectives with the highest closure rates in the SFPD, for a lack of skills or determination. She knows she has earned to be there, and she knows that when some steps of the ladder seemed a little easier to climb, it was through the support of a small chosen circle of women she's proud to call friends. She's proud of what they have achieved together.

And yet, sometimes, on a day like this, the frustration of how little impact they have in the world in general, hits her right in the face.

It's bad enough when a cold-blooded killer decides that a woman has no right to live, let alone bring up a child, if she loves another woman. A rookie cop coming up with a stupid crack at the worst possible moment, is so much worse. She wanted to punch him. Lindsay also wanted to punch Tom who had told her in no uncertain terms to calm the hell down.

She's spent two hours in the gym, a long hot shower after, but Lindsay has yet to calm down. Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe staying angry is the sane thing to do.

The wall unyielding against her back, she's trembling, reaching for something to hold on when there seems nothing left.

Her fingers tangle in Cindy's hair, probably pulling, but they are both beyond caring at this point. Cindy's fingers... Lindsay bites her lip, allowing herself to just feel. She's somewhat mortified to feel her eyes sting, but the emotion, now that it's safe, is like a giant wave, impossible to escape.

Because Cindy knows her, her needs, her shortcomings and her better moments. She knows how to get under Lindsay's skin, every single time.

"Don't mind him," Cindy whispers as Lindsay's still struggling to catch her breath, and stay upright. "Someday soon, change is going to bite him in the ass."

Lindsay actually laughs. Cindy does it so easily; that's because she truly understands, has to bang her head against the wall in her job just as much. They'll just keep doing it, and be there for each other to take the pain away.

The wall will come down some day.

The End

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