DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me I have just borrowed them for a while for this story! This story deals with a loving relationship between two women.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is set six months after Endgame so they are back in the Alpha Quadrant. I hope you Enjoy Reading it. Feedback would be great but please be gentle and constructive!
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Lt B'Elanna Torres
"This is my first personal log in .pause personal log."
"Computer? How long since my last personal log?"
"It has been 6 weeks, 3 days 2 hours since your last personal log."
"Ok, resume personal log."
"This is my first personal log in 3 weeks, along with the excuses of tiredness and over work not to mention single mother hood, I just couldn't face it. It has been hard enough dealing with my emotions in the last few weeks without having to talk about it as well. Now I need to talk about everything that has happened to me. Coming through that damned nebula has changed my whole life.
Tom is gone. He left for the enterprise 3 weeks ago. It was a mutual divorce following a mutual separation. Nice, amicable. Everything that you could want in a divorce. It has been six months since we returned to the alpha quadrant and it is finally over.
Tom had been resigned to life in the delta quadrant. He had his flying and he had the holodeck. He was a good husband and father and I could convince myself that I loved him enough to make the marriage work. Then we returned to the Alpha quadrant. I only had my mother to reunite with and that was done quickly on Earth. She admired her grand daughter and butted heads with Tom. That was my home coming. Tom on the other hand was greeted by his father the Admiral and his mother. But soon enough he got itchy feet and wanted to be in space again. We separated and he returned to his first love, flying. I continued on Voyager as Chief Engineer and he got offered a position as conn officer on the flagship of Starfleet, The Enterprise E. I knew Tom could not resist the chance to fly the fastest ship in the fleet but by then we had divorced. Three weeks ago he was gone. Promises to visit his daughter ringing in the transporter room as he left. I am sure that he will see her; he loves her and is a good man in that respect.
If everything else was the same I could cope. I could cope with my lovely baby daughter Miral on my own, but everything is not the same. Janeway is gone. The woman who was my mentor and my friend has been promoted to Admiral and now flies a desk at Starfleet headquarters. Chakotay is Captain, with Tuvok as his first officer. Harry eventually got his promotion and is finally happily engaged to a girl in astrometrics. Seven is in a Starfleet uniform and is officially Voyager's senior science officer; they even gave her a rank. She is a Lieutenant so now we really are even
All of this change I could cope with, and I had been coping with it. All of this I could handle if I hadn't fallen in love this morning."
"Computer pause log"
As the computer gave the accompanying chirp B'Elanna got up to get herself a glass of water as she mulled over in her head the events of the last 10 hours. If she was honest with herself the attraction had always been there but had been easy to deny, she was married, she had a child, all pathetic excuses to cover the fact that she was attracted to Seven of Nine.
"It started coming to a head as we were playing velocity, she would strut around the holodeck in her tight fitting velocity suit that showed off her curves so very nicely. She often dropped in to see me if I was on my own with Miral but never held her or showed any interest in her. Seven would just sit primly on the edge of the sofa and discuss engineering, or science or other ship board matters. We have grown closer over the last few months but it all went to Grethor this morning. I was running late as usual as Miral had me up all night teething. Seven came to breakfast as we often did before senior officer meetings but I was running around trying to get sorted. I had disappeared into the bathroom leaving Seven preparing me some food when I heard my daughter's plaintive wails screaming out. I am sure that child would be more effective than red alert. I grabbed a robe and ran in to the bedroom. I heard gentle singing coming from the living room and the sight that greeted me was amazing. Seven of Nine was holding my daughter in her arms and my heart was lost. They looked so right together it was incredible. Seven's face was framed by her golden hair that she now wears down. The blue of her uniform picking up the azure of her eyes. And my baby girl looking up at her with such love and trust. She became aware of my presence and her eyes locked into mine, I knew then that I was lost, gone. I am in love with Seven of Nine and I don't know what to do about it."
"Computer. End Personal Log"
Seven of Nine
"I do not love Chakotay. I made this discovery at 08:30 hours this morning in Lt B'Elanna Torres' quarters. B'Elanna was as usual running late for the senior officer meeting. Her baby Miral was in her cot and was grizzling. I have under taken several hours of research into human and Klingon babies so I can be off assistance to my new friend as she faces the task of raising her daughter alone. I have often been around Miral but have never made contact with the infant. Today however, as her mother was completing her ablutions Miral emitted a shriek that could wake a regenerating Borg. I knew that B'Elanna was "stressed" and so I picked the infant up as I have seen B'Elanna do so often in the past. I settled the infant in my arms. Miral seemed reluctant to comply so I began to sing a song known as a lullaby to sooth the child and coerce it back to sleep, Miral immediately quieted and looked up at me. It was at this moment that I experienced love for the first time. It was like no other emotion I have ever experienced. My heart swelled as I held her and I knew that I would do anything to keep this child from ever being harmed. B'Elanna had rushed from the shower when she heard Miral scream and as she stood in the doorway from her bedroom I felt love for the second time. My eyes locked with B'Elanna and I felt a different emotion, it was love but this time it was mixed with desire and passion and to my amazement, it had been with me for a long time. I had discovered a long time ago that I was attracted to B'Elanna, I did not realise that I loved her until today. I know that B'Elanna does not desire me and that it has only been recently that she has been able to tolerate me as a friend. Therefore I will keep my feelings to myself. I will have to tell Chakotay however. He deserves to be with someone who loves him."
Seven of Nine finished her personal log and moved to the wardrobe in her quarters. She was still unaccustomed to wearing clothing other than her biosuits but soon selected an outfit to wear for her off duty period of the day. Satisfied with her appearance she walked out the door to find Chakotay and tell him that their relationship was over.
B'Elanna was worried about Seven. For a week Seven had buried herself in astrometrics and had only come out to eat and sleep. B'Elanna was concerned about her friend and had tackled Chakotay about their split. Chakotay had reassured B'Elanna that although he was aware for some time that their relationship had not been working, it had been Seven who had instigated the break-up. B'Elanna was aware that Seven was avoiding her. She had cancelled their velocity match and had not been to her quarters. She had been quiet at the senior officer meeting and now B'Elanna was determined to find out why.
B'Elanna planed to tackle Seven that evening about her behaviour when Harry had asked her to dinner, apparently he and his fiancé had something that they needed to talk to her about. Reluctantly B'Elanna agreed but then a plan began to formulate in her mind.
"Torres to Seven"
Seven was startled by the emotions that ran through her every time she heard B'Elanna's voice on the comm; recently she had reduced their interaction to a minimum. Her inexperience with emotions and her belief that B'Elanna could not love her in return had caused her to regress back inside herself.
"Go ahead Lieutenant"
"Seven, I need a huge favour and I think that you are the only one who can help me"
"Proceeded with your request."
B'Elanna was hurt to hear the Borg speak that Seven was hiding behind, she was glad that she had come to realise that the stilted speech patters were a coping mechanism for when Seven felt emotionally threatened or challenged.
"Harry has invited me for dinner tonight and I need someone to sit with Miral, I shouldn't be to long but I need someone I can trust with her."
Seven was touched at the thought that B'Elanna trusted her with her daughter; truthfully she had missed the child's presence over the week.
"Very well Lt I will be at your quarters at 19:00 this evening"
"Thanks Seven, I owe you one!"
Seven of Nine was as happy as she had been in recent months. She was reclined on B'Elanna's sofa in her quarters with Miral flying above her. The little girl was being held aloft in Seven's strong arms and was squealing with delight. Eventually they both tired of this game and they were content to lie listening to the gentle jazz music that filled the cabin.
Seven was lost in her musings, she was not one given to daydreams but as her humanity was reasserting itself more and more she found that she experienced daydreams from time to time. She had tried to imagine a life with Chakotay and had even gone so far as to run a holo programme to try and work out her feelings. However she was never completely satisfied with the results of her research in that respect. She realised now that she never had any problems picturing a life with B'Elanna and Miral and her feelings for them were clear. The only problem as far as Seven could see was that B'Elanna did not return the affection that Seven craved. Seven was so lost in her thoughts of B'Elanna that she did not realise that Miral had fallen asleep lying on her chest.
B'Elanna had politely listened to Harry and Tasha talking about their upcoming wedding, Harry being the true friend that he was, wanted to know that B'Elanna was ok with Tom being his best man and returning to Voyager for the wedding. B'Elanna had assured Harry that there would be no problems and they spent a happy evening discussing wedding plans. B'Elanna now wandered back to her quarters wondering how Seven was coping with Miral. At the thought of the tall blond B'Elanna smiled and pictured a harassed Seven surrounded by diapers and bottles. As there had been no emergency comm calls B'Elanna assumed that all was going ok.
As the door swished shut behind her B'Elanna regarded the state of her quarters. The lights had been dimmed and soft jazz music was playing, sprawled on her sofa was Seven of Nine sound asleep with Miral lying on her chest. B'Elanna reached quietly for the holo camera that she always kept on the side and captured a few images of the beautiful sight in front of her. She moved forward and smoothed a stray lock of blond hair that had fallen over Seven's face. As if sensing her presence Miral awoke and shortly after, Seven stirred from her slumber. B'Elanna plucked Miral from Seven so that the younger woman could sit up on the sofa.
"Did you have a pleasant evening B'Elanna?" Seven was still unused to the disorientation that she felt when waking up, she regarded the mother and child in front of her and felt her heart constrict with longing to be a part of this family.
"Yeah, it was good. Harry and Tasha are full of wedding plans. I had a nice time but I couldn't wait to get back to Miral." 'And you' she added silently.
"Well this little lady should be changed and put into her cot, would you like to help?"
Seven's face lit up and B'Elanna was graced with on of the few full beam smiles that the former Borg gave. Seven was so natural with Miral and B'Elanna could see the love that Seven had for her daughter, not even Tom had been like this. B'Elanna found herself wishing that this could be a regular occurrence. It was wonderful to have someone to discuss Miral with and to share the experience of simple things like putting her to bed and kissing her good night.
Once Miral was settled into her cot Seven and B'Elanna moved back to the living area. Without the distraction of Miral, Seven found herself getting nervous again.
"Would you like a drink Seven?" B'Elanna had moved to the replicator to get a drink for herself.
"I do not require liquid refreshment at this time." Seven unconsciously moved back into her Borg shell.
"Dammit Seven! This is me you are talking to, why are you shutting me out? When you're with Miral you're warm and caring, then as soon as you're with me you shut down and I am talking to Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. What have I done to you?" B'Elanna was aware that she was being harsh to Seven but she just could not understand the mood swings of the younger woman.
"I I find it hard to discuss my feelings B'Elanna, I am not sure what to say." Seven sat on the sofa next to B'Elanna, her emotions were in turmoil.
"I am unsure of how to proceed at this time, I find my emotions are taking me over and I am scared by what I am thinking." Seven looked more lost than B'Elanna had ever seen her. "I am unused to having a friend like you and I enjoy my interactions with Miral. I do not wish to loose this."
"Seven, you are not about to lose us, we are here for you, you." With this B'Elanna reached out to Seven and pulled her in to an awkward hug. Seven melted into B'Elanna's embrace and allowed herself to be comforted by the Klingon. As she relaxed in to the embrace she became more and more aware of B'Elanna's body pressed closely to hers. Seven felt a surge of desire as she felt B'Elanna's strong arms around her. The situation was not lost on B'Elanna either, B'Elanna felt her body begin to react to the sensations bought about by Seven's breasts pressed against hers as they held each other in the embrace. B'Elanna pulled back from Seven and held her head so that Seven was forced to look B'Elanna in the eye.
"Seven, I am your friend and I care about you, if there in any thing that you want or need to talk about, I am here for you." B'Elanna dearly wanted to tell Seven exactly how she cared for her, but she knew that if she did Seven could easily retreat back in to her Borg shell.
B'Elanna sensed that Seven was still uncomfortable discussing her feelings and so she allowed the conversation to move on to more mundane subjects, like the routine maintenance that was occurring in astrometrics and Harry's up coming wedding.
Eventually the time came for Seven to leave and they made plans to meet the next day for a game of velocity.
B'Elanna Torres was humming a pleasant tune to her self as she oversaw the diagnostic of the warp core. having established that her beloved engines were working at peak efficiency she had just given the go ahead to restart the warp core.
"Seven of Nine to Lt Torres" B'Elanna smiled at the voice that came over the comm link. Seven was sitting with Miral as B'Elanna had to work late to get the diagnostic done.
"Go ahead Seven"
"Please report to your quarters immediately!"
B'Elanna dropped the PADD that she was working on and with only a brief nod to Vorik sprinted out of engineering towards her quarters. Her staff had been well trained and Vorik was well prepared that in non-ship emergency situations such as these, Lt Torres would drop everything to be with her daughter.
As B'Elanna barrelled down the corridors of Voyager her mind was racing at what Seven could be calling her for. Seven would not have interrupted her work if not for an emergency and B'Elanna prayed to Kahless that her little girl would be ok.
B'Elanna slowed momentarily in order for the door to swish open to her quarters. She reviewed the situation in a second.
Seven of Nine was sitting on the floor with a big smile on her face and Miral was holding herself up on the sofa, this was a new trick that she had just learnt and was looking very pleased with herself. B'Elanna went from full of concern for her daughter to fury at Seven for worrying her so much when Miral let go of the sofa and started to sway. B'Elanna was about to lunge forward for her daughter when Miral took her first, faltering steps towards her mother.
B'Elanna was suddenly filled with joy as she realised why Seven had called her so urgently. Her daughter had taken her fist steps. B'Elanna scoped up her clever daughter and turned to Seven, who like her, had tears of joy forming in her eyes.
"Seven, thank you! If you hadn't have called me I would have missed it." B'Elanna was choked at the emotion that filled her.
"No B'Elanna, it I who must thank you for allowing me to witness such a wonderful event." Seven stood up and stroked the head of the little girl in B'Elanna's arms. She dropped her head to press her lips to Miral's head. "Well done little one, I knew you could do it."
B'Elanna was overwhelmed at the depth of emotion that Seven was showing. As Seven looked up their eyes met and locked. Wordlessly B'Elanna raised her hand to Seven's face and cupped her cheek with her hand, her thumb brushing away the tears that had formed there. As she looked in to Seven's blue eyes she saw something that gave her hope, something that was almost asking her to lean forward and kiss the former Borg drone. B'Elanna gently pulled Seven's head towards her until they were but scant centimetres apart.
"Chakotay to Lt Torres"
B'Elanna growled and pulled away from Seven, her captain's timing was lousy.
"Go ahead captain." She readjusted Miral in her arms and tried not to be too concerned as Seven moved round the quarters gathering the items that she had brought with her.
"B'Elanna, is everything alright? Vorik informed me that you left engineering in a hurry. Is there a problem with Miral?" Chakotay's voice was full of concern for his friend and crewmate.
"No captain, no problem. My clever little daughter has taken her first step and Seven called my so that I would not miss it." B'Elanna smiled warmly at Seven who had the grace to blush.
"First steps? At 4 months old? Wow, so that's what Klingon genes do for you. She'll be picking up a bat'leth in no time!" Chakotay chuckled as he adjusted something on the bridge. "Take the rest of the day off, B'Elanna. Have some family time. Voyager can live without you for a bit"
"Thanks captain that's great, I will."
"Fine enjoy it, Chakotay out"
As the comm link closed Seven was fiddling with her things. In all the time that B'Elanna had known Seven she had never known the former Borg drone to fiddle. B'Elanna realised that Seven was nervous about what had happened before Chakotay's comm call. B'Elanna carefully put Miral in her playpen so she could play without fear of injuring herself.
B'Elanna moved to Seven and reached out and placed her hand on the younger woman's arm. Since Seven was now wearing standard issue Starfleet uniform she no longer towered over the Klingon.
"Seven, how about you tell me what's going on in there hey?"
"I do not understand the nature of your enquiry." Seven was back behind the familiar safe walls of her Borg nature, this time however B'Elanna was not going to be fooled.
"What are you thinking about Seven? And don't tell me that you are functioning within normal parameters!" B'Elanna moved the younger woman to the sofa and indicated that she should sit down. Miral was playing happily in her playpen and was oblivious to the emotional currents running between the two women.
"I am unsure how to proceed B'Elanna, I am not sure that you will want to hear my innermost thoughts, I do not wish to spoil the friendship that we have.
"Seven, you are my friend. You are a part of mine and Miral's life. You are a part of our family." B'Elanna looked at Seven's face for a reaction to that last sentence and was relived when she saw the smile that graced the former Borg's beautiful face.
"Seven, I care about you, a lot. Being a friend means that there should be no secrets between us. There will be times that we will not agree on things but we will always be friends." B'Elanna took Seven's mesh covered hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"B'Elanna, I broke up with Captain Chakotay because I came to realise that I did not love him." Seven looked at her pale hand entwined with beeline caramel coloured one. Seven took a deep breath and raised her eyes to look at the woman she loved. "I Love you B'Elanna."
B'Elanna caught her breath, she had started to think that there was some attraction between the former Borg and herself but had hardly dared hope that her love would be returned. She gave Seven's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Seven, the good thing about telling people how we feel, is that sometimes they feel the same way!" B'Elanna leaned forward and touched her lips to Seven's. At first she brushed her lips over Seven's, she started to press further when Seven's tongue darted out and ran along her top lip. B'Elanna was lost then and pulled Seven close to her. They were lost in each other and rational thought went out the airlock as the kiss became more passionate. Seven ran her hands over B'Elanna's back and marvelled at the defined strength that she found there. Eventually they pulled apart breathless and slightly flushed.
"Now Seven, do you need me to 'clarify my feelings for you', or can you guess?" B'Elanna ran her hand over Seven's check and caressed the starburst implant that was by her ear.
"I believe I know your feelings B'Elanna, but I would like to hear them."
"I love you Seven."
Miral gurgled her approval at this sentiment and jumped up and down in her playpen. B'Elanna went and picked her daughter up and carried her back to the sofa. B'Elanna arranged herself and Miral and snuggled up to Seven. Questions would come later, for now they were content to just cuddle with a very happy and loved baby in their arms.
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