DISCLAIMER: Paramount's not mine. No money earned.
NOTES: B'Elanna saying the words, "What do you think you're doing?" came into my mind. I wrote them down and the story kind of went on from there. A bit of nonesense for you to enjoy. I hope.

Borg Baiting
By alastria7

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I should have thought it was perfectly obvious what I was doing, Lieutenant. I am realigning the."

"It's not the fact that you're doing it, it's a little matter of you doing it without permission."

"I asked Lieutenant Carey."

"You didn't ask me!"

"You were not here."

"Ah! But I got you going, now, didn't I? I got you going!"

"I - I don't understand."

"Borg Baiting, Seven. My latest sport. I set my little trap."

"And I fell in it, I suppose."

"Beautifully, satisfyingly. Yep, you slithered in all the way to the bottom."

"I see. And this new game of yours, er, Borg.?"


"Thank you, Lieutenant, Borg Baiting. Does it have any rules? Or is it as unscrupulous as you are?"

"Worse. There'll be no warning. I'll just strike one day. I'll get you going again, you just wait and see."

"No warning?"

"Not a one."

"I understand. I'll go now."

"That would be good."

"Oh, I suppose this would be as good a time as any to bring it up."

"Bring what up?"

"The Captain has asked me to round up a team to study the nearby nebula tomorrow. You will join me, together with Ensign Rachel Dare."

"Why her?"

"Because she has a personal interest in such phenomenon."

"Yeah, but, we can't take `passengers' just because they have a personal interest."

"She has amassed information over the years that could make her invaluable."

"Well, OK. I guess she could be useful, at that."

"I am glad you approve."

"I just thought. I mean, it sounded like you were just taking someone along who just wanted to look out of the window, that's all."

"I am taking you along for that."

"To look out of the window?"

"I hope so, yes, Lieutenant. You will be piloting the shuttle."

"Why me? Why not flyboy?"

"Because I have requested you. I want to see what effect some of our systems will have on the nebula, and so I need someone who understands our systems."

"Uh, OK. What time do we leave?"

"05.00, from the Shuttlebay."

"05.00! Why so early?"

"I have timed it to include a nearby episodic phenomenon, which will next best be studied at 05.20."

"OK. 05.00 in the Shuttlebay. Now, get out of Engineering!"

"Delighted, Lieutenant. Until tomorrow."


Warning, regeneration cycle incomplete

"Lieutenant?" Can I do something for you?"

"It's 05.30, Borg. Why are you still here? And where's Ensign Dare? I've been waiting in the damned Shuttlebay for a half an hour!"

"And no one joined you?"

"You know they didn't. Ha! You set me up! Oh, wipe that smile off your face."

"It's my new sport, Lieutenant: Torres Baiting. I set my little trap."

"Oh, and I fell in it, I suppose."

"And. how did you put it - 'slithered all the way to the bottom'. Most satisfying."

"Did it have to be 05.00, you rat? I love my sleep."

"I am aware of that one small detail. It is what made it all the more satisfying."

"I hate you!"

"Probably not as much as I dislike your Borg Baiting. Are you still threatening such a thing?"

"Well, maybe I could call it off."


"Yeah. Could be good."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, OK. You've ruined my fun, though."

"That is a shame. You added to mine."

"Hmmm, you were good."


"The trap - it was good. I liked it."

"You were not supposed to like it. You were supposed to hate it!"

"Well, I did, at the time. But later. I thought it was great, much better than mine."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"You're welcome. Uh, what you doing now?"

"I shall continue regenerating. I suggest you do the same."

"I will. Well, goodnight, or should I say good morning?"

"Goodnight and goodbye, Lieutenant."

"You really want a truce?"

"I really do. Goodnight, Lieutenant!".




"What can I do for you?"

"I've brought you this proposal. Go through it, see what you think of it and give me your views, OK?"

"OK. What is it?"

"I'm sending you, Seven and Ensign Rachel Dare into the nebula tomorrow morning to study it at close quarters."

"Oh, yeah, right. And I suppose we leave at 05.00 hours."

"Yes, actually. Lucky guess?"

"Look Captain, no offence, but tell her it won't work a second time around, even if she has roped the Top Brass in on her little scheme to help pull it off!"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean! What little scheme? Pull what off?"

"You don't fool me. I'm done with the 05.00 up-and-ready bit."

"But, B'Elanna."

"It won't work twice! Now, nice try, OK?"

"I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh God, your face! This is genuine, isn't it?"

"And why would you think it wasn't?"

"Oh, no reason. I mean, it's just that Seven set me up, as a little payback, with this same great scenario just yesterday, and I fell for it."

"I assure you B'Elanna, this is a genuine order."

"Sorry. OK then. Tomorrow morning, 05.00, at the Shuttlebay."

"Feedback and ideas before 18.00?"

"I'm on it, Captain. Captain?"

"Uh huh."

"Seven knows?"

"I went over the plan with her some months ago, in case we ever found a suitable nebula to study."

"But you haven't told her yet?"

"Told her what?"

"That you're doing this tomorrow?"

"No, I haven't. I'm just going to."

Warning, regeneration cycle incomplete

"Liuetenant, good morning. Is this going to become a habit?"

"I've come to get you. Come on, we're waiting!"

"And if I do not require to be `got'?"

"You'd be breaking a direct order from your Captain."

"Now that was a good touch, Lieutenant."

"What was?"

"Bringing the Captain in on your little scheme, your Borg Baiting. It makes it unfair though - two against one. If it appears you have changed the rules, maybe I can bring someone in to assist me!"

"You finished?"

"I have."

"Well, you're right about me having Baited you again."

"I knew it!"

"In reverse this time."

"What are you saying, Lieutenant?"

"Your face! It really was an order from the Captain, and I led you to believe you were being set up so you'd ignore it. The Captain has put herself in as the fourth member of this team."

"She has? Where is she now?"

"In the Shuttlebay, waiting. And she's furious. Just opened it up, and you fell right in."

"It seems I did."

"So why are you smiling. You should be upset."

"Why? Would it ruin it if I smile?"

"Of course it would. It does. Ruins it completely."

"Then I'm glad to have upset you in return, Lieutenant."

"That's not very nice!"

"Neither is an angry Captain. Why are you laughing?"

"Because I'm enjoying this."

"I am very pleased for you. As pleasant as it is to chat, Lieutenant, don't you think it would be a good idea to present ourselves in the Shuttlebay as quickly as possible. The Captain."

"Oh, she's not there at all! I set the whole thing up with her help, to Bait you again."

"I see. A master."

"Well, thank you."

"I shall miss this if we call a truce, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, me too. Unless we agree to put our energy into something different instead."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I love that!"


"With the eyebrow."

"You love it?"


"Anything else?"

"Anything else, what?"

"Anything else that I do that you love?"

"Oh, that's a leading question."

"That one of us appears to have the courage to ask."

"Well, OK then. Yes."


"I guess I love your smile, too."

"Like this.. Lieutenant?"

"Yeah, just like that. And the way you're always so damned rude!"

"You like that?"


"You just said you did!"

"I didn't say I liked it. I said I loved it."

"Ah, quite so. Is there anything else, Lieutenant?"


"That you love about me?"

"Well, I guess these are kinda cute."

"My lips? Your fingers are cold on my lips, Lieutenant."

"I guess they are. But my lips wouldn't be."

"Why would you think to put your lips on my lips?"

"Oh, I don't know. It just seemed a pretty good thing to think about, I guess."

"Thinking about something, Lieutenant, hardly ever brought about its achievement."

"You're so right."


"So what?"

"Please, Lieutenant, no more Borg Baiting. Just kiss me."

"Reel you in, huh?"


"Like this.?"

"That was partially satisfactory."

"Oh. Only partially?"

"You could have put a little more effort into it, Lieutenant."

"C'mere Borg, I'll show you effort."

"Uhm, a distinct improvement. Again, please."

"Oh, OK."

"That was nice."

"Is that all you have to say? Nice!"

"You require a higher rating?"

"I damned well do!"

"Well then, you had better put the work in. Now that - was better."

"Tell be, Borg."

"Ask me, Lieutenant."

"Would you come to my place right now? I mean, we're up far too early for work and."

"I'd be delighted to."

"You would?"

"I would."

"Yeah, well there's only one thing wrong."

"And what would that be?"

"I was lying. Janeway's waiting for us, and she really is furious."

"Nice try, Lieutenant. Kiss me again."

"Kiss you again? I can't stand you!"

"Janeway to Seven of Nine. Where the hell are you!!!"

"I, er, I'm sorry Captain. I'm on my way. I will get you for this B'Elanna Torres!"

"You think?"

"I know. Sleep with one eye open from this day forward."

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"You should be."

"I'm trying to be."

"That you are."


"Very trying."

"Girls! If you're going to argue, at least close your combadge!"

"Sorry Captain."

"You will be."

"She said that too."


"On my way."

The End

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