DISCLAIMER: The Devil Wears Prada and its characters belong to Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To brithna[at]gmail.com

Beer, Sandwiches, and Christmas Secrets
By Brithna


"Holy shit Caro , I can't feel my face." Cassidy was hardly able to find her find her keys much less feel her face.

She and Caroline had been home on Christmas break from Northwestern and the entire week had been filled with one party after another. Their mothers did not relish the idea of their daughters traipsing around the city partying hard but they were adults-it was time for a little trust. This party had topped them all so far. Drinks flowed at a constant pace and they had both enjoyed themselves to the brim. It was nearly three in the morning and they were both beyond drunk.

"Shut up and find your keys Cassidy. I'll be damn if I'm ringing this door bell. I don't give a shit if I have to break in. We're not waking them up."

"Damn, hang on and take a chill pill – here they are. You better unlock the door. My fingers aren't working so well." Cassidy doubled over laughing and Caroline did too all though she wasn't sure why. It didn't seem to matter all that much. "Just hurry the fuck up, I'm freezing to death."

Caroline took the keys and tried to find the door handle in her drunken state. "Hey I told you not to wear that dress. Where is your coat anyway? Let me guess you left it at the party?" Caroline finally got the door unlocked and they both clamored inside making a loud racket.

"Shhhhhh. Shut up, you're going to wake them up Caroline." Cassidy was practically yelling as it was, so being quiet was certainly flying out the window at a rapid pace.

They dropped their hand bags in the doorway, spilling half the contents in each bag all over the floor.

"Oops. Tomorrow…worry about it tomorrow. By the way-stop telling me to shut up." Caroline stuck her tongue out in true sisterly fashion. They would never be too old to verbally abuse one another.

"I think I want a beer. And a sandwich. Definitely a sandwich."Cassidy grabbed her sister's hand and they stumbled into the kitchen. Flipping on every light imaginable they went in search of the beer.

"I am sooooo glad Mother finally decided to stop bitching about mom's occasional six pack in the fridge. I mean come oooon- it's just a damn beer. She acts like if you're not drinking hundred dollar bottles of wine that you're very close to low life scum. I love beer. Don't you love beer Caro?"

"I concur, Captain. No bitching about the beer." Caroline tipped her beer and toasted her sister. Spilling a third of it in the process. Cracking up she managed to slip and fall in it on her way to find paper towels.

"Oh. My. God. At least you don't have to find paper towels. You just wiped it all up with your big ass in that ridiculous dress." Cassidy knelt beside her and cackled. They sat on the floor together for a while and finished off their beer and compared notes on all the cute guys they flirted with.

"Alright damn it I need a sandwich. Make me a sandwich Caro. Ham, swiss…and whatever else is in there."

"God you're hopeless. I have to do everything for you."

"I know now get up." Cassidy hauled her into an upright position. "We are so drunk."

"I know…isn't it great?" Caroline started pulling everything out of the refrigeration including more beer.

"We're gonna have to buy Mom some more beer tomorrow. I just hope all the beer bottles in the trash can go unnoticed by she who shall not be named." Cassidy threw the bread onto the counter and carefully climbed onto the nearest bar stool.

"I know right. I'm secretly hoping they go out for breakfast and stay gone all day long shopping or something because you knooooow Mother is going to want to get us up early in the morning. And I'm pretty damn sure I will not even be able to get up once I fall asleep."

"Girl…it's already morning. Hurry up with the sandwich. It's food not a work of art." Cassidy start stealing ham out of the package and Caroline swatted her hand.

"God you're always so hungry. Here. One ham and swiss for my beautiful sister." She passed Cassidy her sandwich.

"Now I know you're drunk if you're willingly admitting that I'm beautiful."

"I thought we already established that we're both equally drunk." Caroling joined her sister on a bar stool and started in on her sandwich.

Cassidy chattered on with her mouth full. "Hey, what do you think Mother's getting our sweet momma for Christmas?"

"I don't know. She won't tell me this year. The other day…when I went into her study she was hurrying to stash something in her desk drawer. I wonder if her present is in there…we should go look."

"You're serious aren't you? If Mother finds out we've been snooping around in there she will slaughter us both."

Caroline waved her hand in the air to dismiss the thought of being caught "Pleeease they're sound asleep. If they weren't they would have both been down here already to bust our asses."

Cassidy hopped off the bar stool, sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other. "Ok let's go. Bring your sandwich."

"Christ, you want to do this right now?" Caroline followed her. The question went unanswered and amazingly enough they were able to remain very quiet as they made their way upstairs. The fact that the kitchen was a complete mess with all the sandwich ingredients still spread out all over the counter was already forgotten.

They closed the door and Cassidy fell down on the couch. She pointed to the desk and commanded Caroline to start looking for the key to the drawer. "Caro, I bet she still keeps the key in that book…the red one right there. Second shelf."

Caroline set her sandwich and beer down on the desk and grabbed the book. Sure enough the key fell out as soon as she opened it. "You'd think after all these years she would hide the damn key in a different place."

Cassidy laughed and hung her head of the armrest of the couch. "I know right…whoa…can't lean back. Major head spin."

"I will kill you if you throw up in here. Just sayin."

"If I throw up in here I will let you kill me don't worry."

Caroline sat down in her mother's chair and went after the drawer. "Okay here we go."

Cassidy sat up on the couch and waited impatiently.

Caroline opened the drawer and dug around. Suddenly she stopped moving all together. "Come here Cassidy…come here right now." She started waving her arms beckoning for Cassidy to move faster. "Get your ass off the couch and come here now damn it!"

"Shhh! Shit I'm coming it just takes me a second to get up. God. What is it?"

Caroline didn't speak, she just help up a little box that was unmistakably from Tiffany's. She immediately started receiving repeated slaps on the shoulder from Cassidy. "Holy shit, holy shit!" Cassidy almost fell backwards from excitement while Caroline still hadn't said a word.

"Caro? Hello in there…can you believe this shit? Look at that ring that is defiantly not one carrot. Holy God."

"Yeah…I agree. Whew I don't even know what to say. After all this time…I never thought she would ask her. Like, I stopped even thinking about it. I mean they always act like it's no big deal that they aren't married."

"Well Mother has obviously changed her mind on the whole subject." Cassidy grabbed the box and made a closer inspection. "This thing is fucking insane."

"You know Mother. She wouldn't buy anything but the best…I wonder how long it took her to pick it out."

"Probably forever. You know how she stresses out over any sort of gift for Mom." Cassidy gave Caroline the box and she expertly placed it back in the drawer just as she had found it and locked it up tight.

"I know. Remember when she was dead set on buying her that car? I thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown." Cassidy took the key from her and placed it back in the book.

They moved to the couch and finished their sandwiches and beer quietly, trying to take in this new development.

"So Caroline, are you ok with it…them finally getting married?"

"Hell yes I've been waiting for almost eight freakin' years. Mother's not getting any younger. She needs to do this."

Cassidy slapped her on the arm "Shut up about the age thing. You know I don't like talking about that. I don't even like to think about Mother not being here one day."

Caroline draped her arm around her sister's shoulder "I know…I know I'm sorry. We'll focus on the time we have okay? It upsets me too, so we'll just forget about it okay?"

"I appreciate that. Thanks. Now let's go in the living room and turn on a movie or something. I don't feel like going to bed yet."

"Okay, but you know we'll probably just fall asleep on the couch." Caroline grabbed Cassidy around the waist and they made a collective effort to stand up.

Cassidy trailed after Caroline down the stairs to the living room and ran right into her back as she stopped short. "Ouch, Jesus."

Caroline reached behind her and grabbed Cassidy by the arm "Oh, shit check it out."

Cassidy gasped at what they found. "Now I know why they've had that ridiculously huge couch all this time."

Starting at the living room doorway there was a trail of clothing that went all the way to the couch and two pairs of high heels were scattered across the floor. Their mothers were laying on the 'ridiculously huge couch' wrapped in each other's arms – obviously very naked.

Caroline cleared her throat "Thank God for that blanket. I love them both but I do not need to see them without clothing. No way."

"I'm with you there. But seriously…how sweet is that. Do you think we'll ever find what they've got?"

"I hope so…I really hope so." Caroline wrapped an arm around her sister's waist. "I can't believe they're finally gonna get married."

"When we sober up we need to start planning one hell of a party for them. Let's go to bed. I feel like I'm intruding or something."

They turned to go but froze when there was movement behind them.


The twins turned slowly ready to receive the signature death stare that only their Mother could give.

Miranda raised her head up from the couch and quietly whispered "I have only four things to say to you and then I want you in bed. Clean up the language. Clean up the kitchen. Turn all the god forsaken lights off and there will be no party planning until I give you the go-ahead. Are we clear?"

In practiced unison they replied "Crystal clear".

"Good. Now good night girls…oh and another thing-Stay out of my study."

The End

Return to The Devil Wears Prada Fiction

Return to Main Page