DISCLAIMER: Paramount, paramount owns them all.
WARNING: More random insanity, more butchering of the language, but this time nakedness between two women too! If you are offended by slash, do not read.
NOTES: This is my first PWP, so I don't know how its going to turn out. Credit kind of has to go to Wyrd, who gave my some tips. Blame Wyrd! *g* This is inspired by the conversation that's going around about the Universal Translator.

Breakdown in Communication

By Quew

#denotes computer voice#
{Denotes the aliens speaking in their own language}

Smoke billowed through deserted corridors, lights flashed intermittently, consoles sparked and made strange noises and the budget squealed like a stuck pig as the special effects total reached critical levels.

Janeway ran through the silent ship, a phaser rifle on each hip and a strip of her torn jacket tied around her head, occasionally leaping round corners and making 'Hiiiyyaaa!' noises.

On a different deck, Tuvok was fighting a rear-guard action for Paris and Chakotay, who had a different kind of rear action in mind and the trio were not making good time as every five minutes he'd have to pull the boyish helmsman and cardboard commander apart.

In a turbolift not too far away, Harry Kim was pushing as far back as he could, wishing he could melt into the wall. The monster in front of him looked like a cross between a lizard and a constipated parrot, and he was terrified. It towered over him, a nasty looking knife in one scaled hand, and clicked it's beak, making 'Arraaa! Arraaa!' noises.

It came closer still, and Harry cowered back, raising his hands to cover his body. His terror reached fever pitch as it reached forward, and thinking that his time was up, he let out a terrified, 'Aaaarrrggggghhhh!'

When the expected blow didn't come, he hesitantly opened his eyes and found the alien paused over him. It cocked its head to one side and then took a tiny step back. It's shoulders started to shake, and little 'snik, snik,' noises emanated from it's beak.

Harry blinked, amazed. Was it possible that…? He took another deep breath and screamed, 'ArrRraRAaggHH!'

The effect on the alien was immediate. The shoulder shaking increased, and it stumbled into a wall, doubling over a little. Suddenly, another alien came around the corner and it ran to it's crewmates' side.

Harry heard it talk to its colleague, but couldn't understand what it was saying - practically every system on Voyager was down, and a feedback loop caused by excess plasma in the manifold had resulted in a pulse that had knocked out every com-badge on board and disabled the universal translators.

It seemed to the ensign that the sonic vibrations in a human scream were affecting the aliens, so before the second one could attack he took the biggest breath he could.

'ARRRRRaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhGGGGGGGrrrraaagghhh!' He managed, going blue in the face and crossed eyed with effort.

Soon, the two aliens were slumped against the wall, holding onto to each other and shaking. Harry took the opportunity and ran past them: he had to tell the others about this!

B'Elanna growled in annoyance and tried to shift her position. It was futile though; in the tight crawl space she and Seven were trapped in there was no room for manoeuvring.

They were trapped in a tiny jefferies tube that led away from the messhall. When the aliens had beamed aboard, she and Seven had been arguing there, as B'Elanna had found the ex-drone with a small plate of banana pancakes. She'd flown at the borg, attacking her verbally for replicating 'her' pancakes, while Seven had argued that she was simply trying a new nutritional supplement, and B'Elanna had replied that did it have to be one of hers? It certainly didn't make sense, sure, but B'Elanna would take any opportunity to try and get a rise out of Miss Perfection.

Then, the aliens had attacked, and as one Seven and B'Elanna had moved to the jefferies tube in the kitchen. No sooner had the hatch behind them closed when all the lights went out and all the hatches refused to open. So now they were stuck, pressed together like sardines in a can.

She growled again, as much from frustration than anything else. For the last twenty minutes, the blondes' curvaceous body had been pressing against her back, and the body heat was driving her mad.

'Are you functioning, Lieutenant?' Seven asked, hearing her growl for a third time.

'I'm just peachy, Seven!' B'Elanna snapped. They're original plan was to evade capture and make it to a command console, but now they were stuck together in the black, hot space.

'I always thought your skin had more of a caramel tone, Lieutenant Torres,' Seven replied calmly.

'Oh Kahless, are you mocking me, Seven?!' B'Elanna attempted to turn over and finally managed it, bringing her face to face with the ex-drone. Too late, she realised her mistake as Seven's face was only inches away from her own, and her breath ghosted past B'Elanna's own lips.

'No, Lieutenant,' Seven replied quietly.

B'Elanna couldn't see Seven's face in the darkness, and she was equally grateful that Seven could not see hers as, when she breathed in, her breasts came into contact with Sevens, making the engineer shudder.

'Hey, call me B'Elanna,' she said. 'If we die here, we might as well be on first name terms.'

'Fine…but I do not think we will die here…B'Elanna.'

B'Elanna took a moment before answering, the closeness of the blonde making her thoughts hard to pin down as they jumped from one thing to the next…/What if we do die here? Nah, that's stupid, we won't die here! Why does Seven smell so good? I mean it's not like she wears perfume. Or maybe she does. I don't. Should I be wearing some?/

'I, uh, don't think we're going to die here,' she managed, having to try hard to keep a handle on the conversation and close her nose to Seven's beguiling odour.

'But you just said that you thought we might, B'Elanna,' Seven said. 'Are you feeling acceptable? Your respiration has increased by eight percent.'

'I'm, uh, great. Fine. Never been better. Uh.'

'But…I have been thinking. There are a lot of things I will not have experienced should we perish in this jefferies tube,' Seven continued.

B'Elanna's eyes nearly popped out of her head and she made a little choking noise…/She couldn't be talking about…oh god, what have a got myself into!/

'Banana pancakes, for instance,' Seven said. 'I believe you enjoy them regularly.'

'I, yes. I,' B'Elanna stuttered, perversely disappointed that Seven hadn't said-

'Sex, as well. I have never experienced copulation.'

'Ghahunah,' B'Elanna said.

'Arrarararraagh!' Harry cried as he ran. The alien that appeared in front of him looked shocked and Harry ran past before he could be stopped.

Behind him, Niccoletti did the same thing, and then Celes and the Delaney sisters repeated the manouver. As the last three screamed past, the poor thing was crumpled on the floor, banging the flat of its hand against the rough carpet and shaking its head.

For a moment, Harry felt a flash of sympathy go through him. The alien must be in a lot of pain if it's acting like that, He thought. Then they were past, searching for more crewmembers to join them in beating the invaders.

'Seven, what…I mean…'

'Oh, I did not mean with you, B'Elanna,' Seven said.

'Well, I jus-'

'Unless you wanted to, of course.'

'…!' B'Elanna managed.


'I…you…we…you…me…' B'Elanna dearly wished she had enough room to sit down and put her head between her knees as she started to hyperventilate.

'Lieutenant? Are you okay?' Seven asked. B'Elanna managed an incoherent squeak and Seven shifted closer, one hand going over the engineer to rub her back. 'I have seen crewmembers do this to other crewmembers who are in mild respiratory distress,' she explained quietly.

Unfortunately, there was only a centimetre between them now, and Seven's warm hand was not doing wonders for B'Elanna's ability to control herself.

Think about this logically, B'Elanna, She told herself. lets face it - Seven's hot. And intelligent, and even kind of funny in her own way. And she's kinda good company, although I'll never admit it. And, well, we /might/ die…so okay, it's a million to one chance, but it might happen, right? Yeah, good enough for me.

She slowed her breathing down and opened her eyes, which she had shut somewhere along the way. Her eyes strained to see anything in the darkness, to no avail, so she lifted her hand and found Seven's face. She heard Seven's hitched breath and grinned toothily, feeling like her old self.

'B'Elanna?' Seven's voice was low, soft and held a slight quaver as Torres trailed her thumb over Seven's full bottom lip.


'One day…may I share your banana pancakes?'

B'Elanna laughed gently. 'Of course.'

Then she leant forward and pulled Seven into a searing kiss. For someone who professed no firsthand sexual knowledge, Seven was a breathtaking kisser, and B'Elanna found that she couldn't get enough. Slowly pushing the ex-borg onto her back, she crawled on top, her head about two inches from the roof of the tube. She slowly parted Seven's legs with one of her own and applied gentle pressure to the blondes centre.

Seven moaned and wrapped her arms around the half-Klingon, letting them roam over B'Elanna's strong shoulders and back, passing once or twice over her rounded backside.

B'Elanna mashed their bodies together as her Klingon side rose, and a growl started to build in her chest. She tried to hold it down, afraid of frightening the other woman, but it escaped through their kiss and resonated in Seven's mouth. To her surprise, a like growl erupted from deep in Seven's throat.

Taking that as a good sign, B'Elanna began searching for the way into the famous, figure hugging bio-suit. Thwarted at every attempted, she finally used her teeth to rip it at the neck, and then shredded it with her hands as her mouth found the skin at Seven's neck too appealing to continue the task.

The blondes heavy breath was right in B'Elanna's ear, and she found that turned her on more than anything so far. The fact that she was having such an effect on the normally unflappable woman made B'Elanna work harder, and she licked, sucked and kissed her way around Seven's shoulders, neck and face. Finally, she got the bio-suit off Seven, no easy task in their confines, and eager for the feeling of skin on skin she started to rip her own clothes off.

'B'Elanna…let me…' Seven whispered, turning them onto their sides.

Wow, fast leaner… Was B'Elanna's last incoherent thought of the night. Seven was using her borg enhanced strength to literally rip B'Elanna's clothes off while kissing any exposed skin she could reach.

Finally they were naked, and B'Elanna once again took charge. She kissed Seven with all the passion she felt and found the blonde equally worked up.

Having to shimmy down Seven's body because of the enclosed space - but that was no bad thing - B'Elanna turned her attention to Seven's breasts. For a moment, she wished for light, as they felt so perfect in her hands as she kneaded them gently. Leaning forward, she found a nipple with her mouth and ran her tongue around the puckered skin, feeling Seven arch up into her touch. One of Seven's hands found its way into B'Elanna's hair, and the other roamed the hybrids body.

B'Elanna slipped her leg back between the blonde's as she lavished attention on Seven's breasts and found her very wet, the slick liquid coating her thigh as she moved her leg gently against Seven's core.

Seven gasped and arched upward. B'Elanna took that as another good sign, and slowly started the descent towards Seven's centre. Kissing her way down the smooth belly, she didn't flinch when her mouth came into contact with the smooth metal of a borg implant. She didn't hesitate to run her tongue over the malleable metal, finding it pleasantly warm. Seven moaned B'Elanna's name and sweat started to appear all over her body, joining that already peppering the overheating hybrids skin.

Finally, B'Elanna reached her final destination. Stroking Seven's belly reassuringly with one hand, she pushed the blondes legs further apart with the other, allowing her to get between them. She could smell Seven's arousal and she growled again, fighting the urge to lunge forward and fuck Seven unconscious. Instead, she took things more slowly, leaving the blonde ample opportunity to say no should she feel B'Elanna was going too far too fast. The way the blonde was moaning made her think that wouldn't be a possibility, but still, she wanted to do things right. If right could ever be called during an alien attack locked in a jefferies tube with no room to move.

Kissing the small starburst implant she found on Seven's inner thigh, she placed her hands on Seven's waist and started moving forward, kissing the skin she passed on the way.

The rest of the aliens had been herded into the messhall, and Harry felt the guilt and compassion swamp him once more as they huddled together, holding on to each other for support. Most of the crew were there, occasionally screaming something like ,'ArraaraggHHgahhH!' At the helpless aliens.

The door swished open, and the captain dived through, doing a tuck and roll and ending up behind a fallen table. She leapt upright, making 'Hut! Hut!' noises and waving her guns around dangerously until Tuvok managed to get them out of her grasp before she could shoot any of the aliens or, indeed, any of her own crew.

The aliens appeared to be recovering so the crewmembers launched another aural assault.




One alien was shaking so badly that it lost it's footing, falling into three others, and they went down in a shoulder shaking, head rocking heap.

A few of the aliens were talking in their strange speech, and once again Harry wished he could hear what they were saying.

{What did that last one say?}

{Something like 'Oh! Bottom bottom sleepy monkey!'} The second one said, laughing itself stupid. {Their attempts at our language are hysterical! We cannot kill such amusing creatures!}

The captain, noticing one of the aliens looking a little recovered, stepped forward and yelled, 'Arraaagghhhhhaggahhg!'

{'Where is my leg Mr small round wooden object?'} One of the aliens translated, promptly falling backwards with laughter.

{How can we kill creatures that great us with calls of 'Why yes, slipper gladly, have you seen my brick?'?} One alien asked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

{They must be kept alive, if only so another race can hear them running around screaming 'Please partake of my family foot, your jelly is attractive!'} Another said, sheathing his weapon and trying not to start laughing once again.

'Look captain, they're putting away their weapons!' Harry exclaimed. 'It's working!'

Everyone turned on the aliens and screeched at them, and almost immediately and as one the aliens fell over, holding their stomachs and clutching each other.

{'Happy day! My liver has returned!'}

{'Why yes, I would like some molten metal kind leg'}

{'Attractive smell, yellow, yellow!'}

{'Perhaps I would bounce on your bottom, so kind!'}

The aliens clutched at their friends, trying desperately not to pass out from lack of air as they laughed so hard they couldn't stay on their feet.

'Perhaps we should stop, Captain,' Harry said, watching the poor beasts writhe in pain.

'Yes, I think they've had enough,' Janeway agreed, putting her hands on her hips and looking daunting, which is hard to pull off when you're the shortest person on board.

Seven practically bucked B'Elanna into the ceiling as the hybrids' mouth touched her centre for the first time. Moving slowly, B'Elanna ran her tongue over every inch of it before concentrating on the most sensitive part. As she stimulated the stiff clit with her tongue, she reached up and gently eased only one finger into Seven. The blonde almost screamed and lifted her hips up, wanting more.

B'Elanna happily obliged, adding another finger slowly. It slid in easily, and B'Elanna kept up a slow and steady rhythm as her tongue teased and tasted the former drone. She herself was getting increasingly worked up as Seven began to writhe continuously, a hot ache dying to be satisfied between her legs but yet she couldn't bring herself to remove a hand from the blondes body to satisfy herself.

She slowly began to up the tempo, keeping it as gentle as she could while still working Seven into a frenzy. She felt Seven's inner muscles clamp around her fingers and then Seven bucked so hard B'Elanna was thrown into the ceiling, smacking the back of her head on the low cover.

Not even feeling the pain, she pushed Seven over the edge by curling her fingers up inside the ex-drone and rubbing the sweet spot found there. Seven threw her head back and screamed as her orgasm rushed over her, covering the engineers face and hand with juices. Easing Seven through the aftershocks, B'Elanna couldn't resist licking her lips and tasting the sweet liquid.

After a moment, she climbed back up the heavily breathing ex-drone, pulling her close. She was surprised to find that when Seven came back to herself, she wrapped her arms around B'Elanna and started to cry softly.

'What's the matter?' B'Elanna asked, suddenly mortified with the thought that she might have gone too far.

'I…have no words for the feelings I have for you,' Seven whispered quietly, her voice hesitant and slightly hoarse from screaming.

'Oh…' B'Elanna said, feeling tears prick her own eyes.

'You do not feel the same?' The blonde asked, her tone heartbreaking.

'No! I mean yes! I mean…' B'Elanna sighed. 'I can't find the words either, Seven. Words were never my strong point.'

Seven reached up and pulled B'Elanna's head down, kissing her softly. 'I believe...perhaps we do not need words.'

The crewmembers of Voyager; at least, the ones in the messhall, were thoroughly perplexed. The last of the aliens had just beamed off their ship, after rushing forward and hugging the Federation officers most unexpectedly, and pumping the captains hand vigorously before she could reach her guns.

If beaks could smile, Harry had thought, these looked like they had been. He just didn't get it. They'd figured out the alien's weakness and the aliens had hugged them?

As they beamed away in fives, the aliens had chattered away to the assembled humans in their language, which to Harry had sounded vaguely like the sounds humans could make by straining their throats a little. None of Voyagers' crew had had the faintest idea what they were saying, but no-one cared because they had left and another crisis had been averted using good old human intelligence.

'Well,' The captain said, smirking victoriously. 'We sure showed them!'

The End

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