DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine. Birds of Prey isn't mine, and neither
is Hawkman. Nor Batman. Nor, sadly, is Batgirl. Okay, so really, none
of the DC-related thingy-ma-bobs are mine. And, if you don't like
same gender lovin', don't read this. Oh, and don't sue me. Please.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hawkgirl is from the new Hawkman comics that just
started getting published a year or so ago, not the Justice League
cartoon. I'd highly recommend picking up some back issues of the
comic if you can, it's frickin' awesome.
ARCHIVING: You want it, you got it. Just lemme know.
PAIRING: Barbara/Helena
Broken Wings
By Faechick
Chapter Four
I wake up to a numb arm and a loud knocking on the door. Kendra's
already halfway to answering it as I peel myself from the cushions
that have imprinted their woven pattern into my thighs, back and
arms. My muscles hurt. Stretching is a wonderful thing. It's akin to
sex and peeing.
"What are you doing here, Carter?" Kendra's annoyed. She's cocked her
hips and is looking at the guy behind the door through the foot or so
she's opened it. What the hell is he doing here so early? Actually,
wait. What time is it?
"It's important, Kendra. Let me in." There's his pompous, asinine
voice again. When did I start hating him? Oh, right: round about the
time he hit me. Ah, there's the clock. Christ, it's two in the
afternoon? "It's about your guest." He hisses the word and Kendra
reluctantly steps aside to let him pass.
He gets into the room and looks around, his eyes nearly popping out
of his head when he looks at me. What? He's never seen underwear on a
woman before? I thought he was supposed to have lived a thousand
lives, or some shit like that. Kendra sidles over to me, standing
just in front of my elbow in a subconscious stance of protection. How
sweet.
"Well?" She demands with one word to hear everything he's got to say.
I love it when a woman takes control like that. His eyes are shifting
back and forth between the two of us, and I can almost see the cogs
in his head. He thinks we did the horizontal mambo. Well, why would I
want to deny that mental image to anyone?
"Yeah, what's up Birdboy?" I slide my hand gently across Kendra's
shoulders, resting it on the one nearest me. She leans into my touch,
a slight smile touching her lips. Interesting. The leaning, that
is. "Cat got your tongue?"
His jaw clenches in barely controlled anger; he doesn't like me
touching what's his. Well, too bad for him Kendra's her own
woman. "There's been an earthquake." He bites the words out. What the
hell does an earthquake have to do with me? "Gotham's in ruins."
Oh God. Barbara. Dinah. Alfred. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Kendra's hand
is on my arm, she's asking me if I'm all right. I've sunk to the
floor. I know this only because my knee is digging into the edge of
the paneling, and it hurts in a vague, far off kind of way. If
they're hurt, if they're dead... God, no...
Rough hands grab my shoulders and haul me up, shaking me
senseless. "Get it together, Huntress. Oracle needs you, and so does
Gotham. We're going. Now. Get dressed." He's got a tone to his voice
that I can't ignore, even when my insides are melting. He's a born
leader, that's for sure. Barbara's command-voice pales in comparison
to Hawkman's. And now, I see him as Hawkman. His eyes are glinting
angrily at me, but behind them is a righteous fire; he knows who he
is, what he does. He knows he's right.
I wish I could say the same.
Kendra has to lead me to her room before I register anything other
than the sinking of my gut. The adrenaline is starting, now. I have
to get home, I have to know if they're all right. If she's all right.
I'm pulling on a pair of pants that aren't mine, and a shirt that
doesn't quite fit, but I'm too focused on my thoughts to care.
"I never should have left."
Kendra grunts in response to my comment. "Now's not the time for
those kinds of thoughts." She's shoving my boots into my hands, and I
sit down next to her on the bed to put them on. We're like a team,
doing things together, synchronizing. It feels good to have that
again, even for a moment; I hadn't realized I'd missed it. But I'm
going back now. I'm going back to the team I left, to the family I
abandoned. They need me.
And right now all I can do is pray to God that they still want me.
So, they have a jet. A really nice jet. I can't hear its engine at
all as we fly over the East Coast, and aside from the fact that the
seatbelt's dig into my shoulders the ride is incredibly comfortable.
You know, aside from the pain in my chest. Kendra's setting across
from me, her co-pilot seat turned backwards so that she can watch
over me. I give her a weak smile every now and then.
Carter's doing his best to ignore me entirely. I don't really blame
him. Now, he thinks I'm after his girl, on top of being a run-away
superhero. A loser. That's what I am. I'm just a big fat loser. I
couldn't take it, so I ran away, and now I'm running back with my
tail between my legs. At least, that's probably how it's going to
turn out. Me, tail tucked neatly under my feet, my head bowed,
begging for forgiveness where it isn't deserved.
I sigh and adjust my position so that the seatbelt doesn't hurt quite
so much. "How much longer?" We've been flying for what feels like
hours.
"Ten or fifteen minutes, maybe." He doesn't even turn around to say
it. Kendra glares at him a little before smiling at me. "It'll be
okay, you know? It's going to work out just fine."
I wish I had her confidence.
When we finally make it to Gotham, I vault out of my seat and crowd
in between the duo. The city I see below me is nothing like the city
I left behind. Only a few buildings remain untouched by the
devastation. Fires are everywhere, and I'm sure the smoke hides even
more rubble. The bridge that connects Gotham to the mainland is
flooded with people. I can see emergency lights of all colors from
one end to the other. So many people must be dead by now, I can't
even begin to imagine it.
"I think we're going to have to land along the coast and cross the
bridge to get into Gotham itself. It doesn't look like there are any
open spaces large enough to hold the jet." Carter's already
maneuvering towards the Jersey shoreline. I put a hand on his
shoulder, and he tenses.
"Drop me off first." I'm begging him silently. He looks at me for a
long moment, his eyes searching me. I apologize with my own, willing
him to see that I need this. This is my home, I can't wait for him to
land. He nods once before banking back towards the nearest level
rooftop. I turn towards the cargo door. "Be careful, Huntress."
"Sure thing, Birdboy," I smirk as he glares at me. Suddenly, Kendra
wraps her arms around my waist from behind. I stiffen at the
unexpected contact.
"Relax. I'm going to drop you off." I do as she asks while the cargo
door opens, the wind whipping my hair. I can feel the beak of her
helmet resting against my shoulder and I resist the urge to crane my
neck around and look at it - I've never actually seen her wearing it
before. My stomach begins to drop as Kendra allows us to free fall
out into the open sky before opening her wings, catching us on the
air like a parachute. She sets me down lightly before beating away. I
wave once or twice before turning my attention to the streets below.
I have to will myself not to vomit as I realize I'll have to check
all the bodies to make sure none of them are alive.
It's cold in Gotham. I'd forgotten just how cold it could get, and
Kendra's clothing is most definitely not made for this kind of
weather. I shiver a little as I shift the body in my arms; she's
bleeding all over me. The Gotham police have setup check points all
around the city for those left alive to put their names down and
receive any treatment they might need.
I'm glad that I'm not wearing a uniform; if I were, someone might
have alerted Barbara to my presence already. I don't think I could
deal with her right now, not while I'm wading through so much death.
"Thank you." The woman I just carried to a checkpoint puts her hand
on my arm and squeezes as hard as she can, which isn't very hard at
all considering how much blood she's lost. I nod and turn away,
heading back out into the alleys and buildings to find more people
who need my help. Before I can get too far, I hear someone shouting
and I turn around. A medic is running towards me, waving something. I
wait for him to get to me.
"Here," he pants, shoving a jacket into my arms. "Put this on. You
look like you need it." He turns back to the check point before I can
give him my thanks, and I slip the dark blue winter coat on. The
letters GCPD adorn the back and the shoulders in bright yellow.
Great, now I look like a police officer.
I've been systematically scouring buildings and alleys throughout the
lower east side of the city for the past ten hours. Aside from the
check point, I haven't seen anyone else trying to help people. But,
Gotham's a big city with a lot of ground to cover. I suppose I
shouldn't be so surprised. What does legitimately surprise me,
though, is that while I've seen signs of vandalism, I have yet to see
any vandals.
I have to wonder where they all are. You'd think that at a time like
this, there'd be thousands of them scuttering about like rats.
I tense as I hear a woman scream in the distance. It takes me a
minute to figure out what direction I need to head, but once I've got
her pinpointed in my mind's eye I'm vaulting from wall to wall and
roof to roof. The skyline has darkened considerably since my arrival
in the city earlier, and now that it's approaching dark I feel more
comfortable doing the superhero thing.
It's good to be home, even now.
I round a corner, ready to spring into action, only to find that the
action's already over. Five thugs lay sprawled on the pavement, a
dark figure looming over them. The woman behind the figure is
whimpering, but unharmed. Noting this, I peer into the shadows at the
masked hero. Pointed leather adorns a definitely female form and a
large yellow bat is emblazoned across her chest.
"Barbara?"
I can feel the walls of the Clock Tower closing in on me as I stand
before Barbara. Her eyes are drawn and the line of her mouth grim as
she looks at me over the rim of her glasses. She's more beautiful
than I remember, and I find myself staring at my boots in an attempt
to avoid what I know is coming. "Why did you leave?" Damnit.
"I don't know anymore," I whisper, shifting from one foot to the
other. She rolls towards me, stopping just far enough in front of me
that I can see the toes of her shoes. She places her hands in her
lap, rubbing her palms absentmindedly - she does that sometimes, when
she's been moving a lot. She refused to get one of those automatic
chairs, which is fine with me since her arms are very well
toned because of it. "That's it? You don't know?"
I swallow and look around at anything that isn't her. My eyes fall on
the girl I met in the alley. She hasn't taken off the cowl yet, and I
can't see her face through this newly designed suit. Barbara's
already replaced me. I bite the inside of my lip in an effort not to
cry. Whoever this girl is, she's managed to earn enough of Barbara's
trust to become the next Batgirl.
That should have been me.
"Look at me, Helena." My eyes snap to hers immediately, a throwback
to the days when she acted as my guardian and surrogate mother. "Why
did you leave?" There's a finality in those words. If I don't tell
her now, I'll never be able to tell her again.
"I couldn't handle it. I couldn't stand the idea that another person
I loved might die because of me." My voice cracks and I turn swiftly
away from her, running towards the balcony, running away from my
feelings. Before I can make it to the door, though, I hear a familiar
voice at the elevator.
"Where is she?" Dinah's angry. "Where the fuck is she?" I turn, my
eyes undoubtedly red from held-in tears, and face the irate teen. She
charges me, and I brace myself for a tackle, but she stops just in
front of me and glares. I didn't know she could do that. I'm
surprised I haven't winced. "How could you?" Her voice is quiet, but
the malice underlying her words hits me in the gut. "How could you do
this to us?" I open my mouth to answer her but before I can she slaps
me, hard.
Blood trickles down my chin and I turn again, walking slowly to the
balcony. I can't handle this right now.
The air outside is crisper than earlier, and a light blanket of snow
is beginning to collect on the rooftops and streets. The moon is
obscured by a hazy blanket of smoke from the fires that continue to
burn throughout the city. I feel a body behind me; it's that new
girl. I don't bother to turn around. "Just leave me alone, all
right?" She moves away. Thank God.
I can hear Barbara inside, crying softly while Dinah comforts her and
bashes me. I don't blame the kid. She's got every right to hate me
right now. The Delphi beeps, and Oracle springs to action. "Say that
again... Yes... The Clocktower..." I wonder what's going on...?
"Helena!" Oracle barks at me and I turn to look at her through the
glass doors. "Your friends are coming over, and they're bringing a
visitor." My friends? Oh, right. Carter and Kendra. That's just
great. Now I'll have to deal with him, too.
Still, Kendra will be more than welcome...
As the wind outside picks up I realize I can't stay out on the
balcony; it wouldn't do for a superhero to catch cold in the middle
of a crisis. I reluctantly step inside, almost hugging the walls in
an effort to avoid Barbara and Dinah. The blonde watches me, her eyes
still blazing, while the red-head simply ignores me. I open the
fridge and pull out some Tupperware, trying to find something to fill
the hole in my stomach. Chicken sounds good.
I bite into a cold piece of fried chicken as Batgirl the Second walks
up to me, reaching into the container to pull out a piece for
herself. She reaches up and pulls off the cowl, revealing a well-
tanned Asian face. She smiles at me before devouring half the plank
of meat. "Where'd you come from, then?" I wonder aloud.
"I found her." Dinah seems proud of this fact. "She helped me out
after the quake. I brought her back here." That couldn't have been
more than twenty-four hours ago, and already she's wearing the Bat? I
must have blanched. "What? Don't think we should have been able to
get on without you?"
"Dinah." Barbara commands the girl's silence easily, which sends the
teenager over the edge.
"Fine! I'm going back out there then. You can sit around here and
wait for whoever it is that's coming, if you want to." She grabs her
jacket and heads towards the lift. It opens just as she's about to
press the button. "So who is it tha-" She stops, and that alone is
enough to make me curious. I move into the main section of the tower
to see who it is that's caught her tongue.
I drop what's left of my chicken onto the floor.
"Excuse us," Carter says gently, moving Dinah to the side as he steps
off the lift. His helmet glints in the florescent light. Kendra
follows him. But I'm not really paying attention to them. I'm
focused, instead, on the figure behind them.
"Hello Barbara." The Dark Knight nods solemnly at his protege before
turning to eye me. "Helena."
My mouth works, but no sound comes out. I want to scream at him, to
hit him, to hug him. I want to cry and ask him how he could have left
me like he did, how he could have left Barbara. But looking at him
now, looking into his eyes, I know. He left for the same reasons I
did. He left to protect us.
"Hi. Dad." The word comes out stiffly - I've never used it before.
The corners of his mouth crook upwards ever so slightly as Carter's
jaw hits the floor. Kendra's isn't too far behind, I'd wager, but
she'll recover faster.
"Enough pleasantries. What's our status?" He takes command quickly,
his cape flowing behind him as he walks up the dais to the Delphi to
stand behind Oracle. It takes her a minute to respond; I'd wager
she's as lost in this situation as I am. "So far, we've been dealing
with making sure those who need medical assistance make it to check
points, but from recent reports we might have a lot more to worry
about soon. Arkham's security systems were compromised during the
quake; the prisoners have escaped."
The Joker is free.
"So how do we go about this?" Hawkman stands next to Batman, his arms
folded across his chest. "Do we need to call in reinforcements?"
Barbara shakes her head. "I don't think so. They've split themselves
up, and none of them have the power they did before the quake.
They're likely all scrambling for territory and arms."
"So one at a time, then?" Kendra's leaning heavily against one of the
support beams. I'm braced against the side in front of her. "We start
with a list and check them off one by one?"
This time, Barbara nods. "I think that would be best. But, I'd rather
if you all split up. Each of you can take down one target before
moving on to another one. You'll all take communicators with you so
that I can coordinate."
"How are you going to do that, exactly?" I can't believe I'm sticking
my neck out into the conversation like this. "What are you using to
gather your information? Gotham's in ruins. Aren't all your
resources, too?"
She looks at me coolly for a moment before responding. "Yes, for the
most part. But I have my means." I nod. "Now, the list of targets.
Who wants to take Two-Face?"
"I'll handle him." Carter steps forward to take the offered
communicator. "Any idea where he is?" Barbara shakes her head.
"Check the lower east side, near City Hall." Batman's voice is low
and commanding. He sounds like a thunderstorm. I'm still having a
hard time believing he's actually here.
"Right." Carter nods, heading towards the balconey. "I'll keep in
touch, then."
"Poison Ivy?" Barbara calls out the next name on the list.
"I'll take her." Kendra steps forward and moves to follow
Carter. "I'm guessing the parks and gardens would be the best places
to start." Barbara nods, and so does Batman.
"Be careful," I say. She turns around to look at me before removing
her helmet - which looks very sharp on her, if I do say so myself -
and walking back towards me. She places a kiss on my cheek. "You too,
Huntress." She's gone before I can process the incident. Barbara's
looking at me, and I can feel my face flaming under her gaze. It
doesn't help that my dad's doing the same thing...
"All right." Barbara sounds like she's under duress. "The Penguin?"
Dinah nods and moves to the elevator. "I want you to take Batgirl
with you." Dinah starts to protest, but for some reason thinks better
of it. The two enter the lift together. "We'll check the zoo. Sound
good?" Batman nods at the teen. She blushes as the elevator doors
close.
"The Joker?" Barbara says this name more softly than the others.
"He's mine." Batman and I speak in unison. We look at each other,
glaring with the same fire. It occurs to me that we're standing the
same way, too. Like father, like daughter, I suppose.
"Take him together. I'd feel safer that way." He and I both turn to
look at her.
She's scared. I can see it in her eyes and the way she's rubbing her
thumb and forefinger together. She's scared that he's going to take
one of us away from her again. I can't stop myself as I rush towards
her, my hands entwining into hers. "Barbara, you won't lose me to
him. I promise. Dad, either. I'll make sure of it."
It's a lot of bravado, but it seems to be working. She brings her
hand up to my cheek. "You'd better come back to me, Helena. I haven't
finished yelling at you, yet." She smiles crookedly and I grin at her.
"Yes ma'am."
I patrolled with Dinah, occasionally, after she earned her wings. But
that was never this intense. He's like liquid night, creeping from
rooftop to rooftop, down and around falling buildings, over rubble,
across snow - barely leaving any tracks at all. I'm in total awe of
him, and he's my fucking dad.
We haven't said anything to each other since we left the Clock Tower.
I'm not sure what to say to him, really, and I'm pretty sure he
hasn't a clue how to behave in front of a daughter that's gotten all
grown up without him. He senses my distress, I think, because he
stops to look at me. We stand there, face to face, his cape billowing
in the wind. "I wanted to apologize."
The growl of his voice rolls into my stomach and stays there, making
me wonder what it would have been like to have him tell me stories at
night. His eyes are boring into me, like Barbara's or Carter's, or
even Kendra's. Guess it's a superhero thing. "I-" How do I respond to
an apology of this magnitude? "I forgive you, okay? I did it, too.
It'd be hypocritical of me to hate you for it." I look away, my face
flaming.
Suddenly there's a hand on my shoulder and he's right next to me,
towering over me by a foot and a half - not including the bat
ears. "It's hard, Helena. But you were better than I was at it. You
came back sooner." I scoff at him. He's warm, even in the middle of a
northern snow storm. "I only came back because of the quake - just
like you."
So there you have it. Father and daughter, together at last,
wallowing in their own special brand of self-pity. Kind of romantic,
I guess, in a totally non-romantic kind of way. Can "romantic" be
used like that? Christ, I didn't know it was possible to dig myself
into a hole in my own thoughts...
He's led me to the docks. They're in horrible shape - the wooden
platforms themselves broken or sunken and several of the warehouses
burning or burnt. I can hear people shouting, but I can't place them
here. Apparently, dad can.
We creep unseen on to the top of the building, splitting up with each
of us on one side of the main skylight, our bodies flat against the
roof. Inside, dozens of men and women are cheering as the Joker beats
a young woman with the back of his hand. I tense, preparing to jump
through the window to save her. He stops me. "No, wait. We can't just
rush in like that." Even as a whisper, his voice holds power.
"Are you crazy? He's going to beat her to death - he's not going to
stop!"
"I think I know better than you what the Joker is capable of,
Helena." His voice is cold. He's not joking, and that pisses me off.
"Don't you dare act like a fucking righteous bastard with me, you
sorry sack of shit! He killed my mother!"
It takes everything in me to keep my voice down to a normal level. He
stands, staring at me as he pulls a batarang from his belt. As he
throws it through the window, he says, "We'll discuss this later, and
I'll tell you all about Jason." Who's Jason?
The batarang slams into the Joker's wrist, and I can hear it snap as
I follow dad down into the chaos. The bastard's screaming, and with
him so are his dozens of minions. They're rushing us both, but dad's
almost at the Joker. He's going to get him; I'm not going to have any
chance at all.
Thoughts of my lost vengeance fuel my punches as I wade into the mob.
I don't remember most of the fight. I know I broke a number of jaws,
and that I snapped at least one neck, but other than that I can't
recall details. Except for one: the Joker shot him in the gut.
All I could think as I watched it happen was that it should have been
me up there getting shot - it should have been me taking that bullet.
I'd let Barbara down. I'd promised her and yet it was happening
again. I'm a failure.
Someone's screaming, maybe it's me, and I'm running towards the
Joker. He's laughing, his twisted face hideous and taunting. He turns
towards me, pointing the gun at me. I can't dodge it, I don't have
the space or the time. Something in front of me catches my eye and I
lean down quickly, scooping it up and throwing it.
The gun goes off.
There's a pain in my shoulder as the laughter stops. The Joker slumps
to the ground, red spurting from his neck. I spin around, my left arm
dangling uselessly at my side, expecting to have to fight off the
remainder of the mob. They're just staring at me, or at his body -
they're frozen.
When all else fails, scream like a maniac.
"Well? Which one of you wants the next piece of me? Huh? Come on!"
They trade looks amongst themselves. Some of them are already
running, and the rest soon follow. I'm still screaming at their backs
when it registers that Barbara's yelling in my ear.
"Huntress! Huntress!" I stop screaming at the mob that's no longer
there. "Yeah. I'm- I'm here, Oracle." I hear her sigh in relief on
the other end.
"Are you all right? Why can't I get ahold of Batman?"
How do I tell her this?
"He's sh- He's shot, Oracle. The Joker shot him."
"Oh God!" It sounds like her stomach's dropped a thousand feet. "I
should have been in contact with you. I should have been paying more
attention. I shouldn't have worried about Dinah so much. I should ha-"
"Oracle!" I snap at her over the communicator. "Snap out of it and
get an ambulance as near to the docks as you can. I'm gonna strip him
of his uniform. Huntress out." I can hear her fingers flying over the
keys as I run to his body, feeling for a pulse. It's strong.
Why am I not surprised?
I watch nervously as the medics run towards him and the girl. So far,
none of them have bothered checking the immediate area for anything -
specifically, his suit. I hid it inside one of the crates at the back
of the warehouse. As far as the doctors are concerned, Bruce Wayne
was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wince as someone
prods my shoulder. "Ow!"
"Sorry. You need to get to the ambulance. They'll take you to Gotham
County General Hospital and get that bullet out of you." The girl
who's smiling at me couldn't be any older than twenty. I nod and
shuffle over to the door and outside, gripping an offered hand in
order to get myself into the vehicle. They load dad in beside me.
He's been patched and stuck with tubes. The IV is dripping away.
"Huntress, is everything all right? I know you're not alone but give
me a sign..." Barbara's desperate for knowledge on the other end of
the line. I grip dad's hand and play to the other people in the back
of the ambulance. "It's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine,
dad."
"Dad?" The driver turns around, his eyebrows a thousand miles above
his head. "Isn't that Bruce Wayne?"
"Yeah. He's my dad." I smile, a real and true smile.
For once in my life I feel like things might actually turn out okay.
I had to tell the police some story about how Batman had saved us by
swooping down through the skylight of the warehouse and single-
handedly defeating the whole of the Joker's mob, and killing the
Joker himself. Thankfully, they believed me. It's not too hard to act
traumatized when your shoulder's in severe pain and your dad's lying
in intensive care.
Barbara has extricated herself from the Clock Tower and is sitting
beside me in his room. Dinah, Batgirl, Carter and Kendra are all back
in Gotham City, continuing to help people. They've got backup, now,
though. The rest of the Justice League showed up as Batgirl hand
delivered the Penguin to the Gotham City police. Needless to say, the
Bat symbol is going to be very prominent in the newspapers for a
while.
I shift a little in my chair and let out a disgruntled noise.
Barbara's mouth curls upwards. "I missed you." It was really quiet,
and I almost didn't catch it. She missed me? She missed me! Hell
yeah! Oh, I guess I should respond to that... "Me too."
"You missed yourself?" The smile's full blown now. We're already back
to bantering. That's a good sign.
"Well sure, I mean, I've got mad skillz. Who wouldn't miss me?" I
crack a grin at her and throw my good arm up in an all encompassing
gesture.
Her face drops back into serious-Barbara mode. "Don't you ever leave
me again." I swallow and nod a little. I don't have anything to say
to that. I've already apologized. Another would just come off as
insincere. "I couldn't live through it again, Helena. Do you
understand? Don't you ever leave me again."
It really sucks that she's sitting on my left. It means I have to
move somehow to touch her. I opt for the full body touch, rather than
moving so my hand's on hers. It's been a long time since I've done
this; it feels good to lay my head in her lap again. The last time
was after the first anniversary of mom's death... She's stroking my
hair, now. My face is wet.
Damnit. I didn't mean to start crying.
"Helena." Oh God, she's crying too. "Why did you leave like that?
Why?"
Because I love you more desperately than anything else in my entire
life.
She gasps. Um. Did I say that out loud?
The End
Continued in Book Two