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By allie


Can't remember a fucking thing

I stood up and promptly sat back down as the blood rushing from my head forced me into submission and onto my ass. I had no sooner thought about the side effects of vertigo when they all rushed forward to greet me and left me a quivering wreck on the floor of Engineering.

I'm not normally such a squeamish coward but by Kahless' left nut since SHE got me pregnant I am just a quivering wreck! I have to live with the knowledge that I will suffer from morning sickness, space sickness, fear of heights and an absurd craving for ham and jam sandwiches for the next few months...

Kahless' balls and bracers... I can't do this...

I'm going to talk to her and tell her "exactly" what I think!

That's what I'm gonna do!

I waddled along her corridor, not just "the" corridor, but "her" corridor and stopped just before the sensor opened the door. I stood staring at it and thought about everything I would say to her and how I would phrase it and what I would demand as penance for her getting me pregnant and making me live this pain and indignation!

I could just picture her face. That gorgeous alabaster skin flushing a dark rose ... and then... in her innocence she would ask me.... well, Gre'thor, it doesn't matter what she asks me because "I" am the head of the house and she will...

"Yeah right Torres, believe that and you'll be fine" my inner nag suddenly stood up and introduced herself by forcefully shoving her opinion down the back of my throat.

I silently told my nag to shut up and triggered the doors by stepping forward. Glancing around I couldn't see her so I called her name gently. I hoped she was here and I would be able to get this over with and then be able to get on with life without the indignity of constantly ending up on my ass every time I tried to stand up.

Silence was the loud reply to my query. So I did the Klingon thing and almost had a heart attack as a result.

"SEVEN! WHERE THE GRE'THOR ARE YOU?"I bellowed into the huge cargo bay.

"Right behind you!" Came her dulcet tones as I jumped four feet in the air whilst executing a perfect pirouette a prima ballerina would have been proud of. The feat of jumping that high was a miracle itself considering the advanced stages of my pregnancy.

"Oh for Kahless' sake are you trying to make me give birth today?" I yelped as I landed.

"No, my love, I was merely answering your question. You asked where I was, I answered you. I was unaware that you had not heard my approach." Seven's soft voice was doing strange things to my libido – I think if I was male I'd be standing at attention by now.

"Oh." Suddenly I had a real problem speaking. All I could do was look at her and marvel at the beauty before me; longing for the day that I wasn't built like a battle cruiser and we had our own little Wa'Hom driving us crazy the way Naomi drives her mom mad.

"Are you functioning within acceptable parameters B'Elanna?" Seven teased by reverting to "Borg-speak".


She advanced towards me and asked me gently why I required her presence seconds before pressing her lips to mine for the most mind blowing, toe curling, earth shattering, lung busting kiss we had ever shared.

I replied none to succinctly. "CRAFT?"

Can't Remember A Firkin Thing

The End

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