DISCLAIMER: Star Trek is the property of Paramount, this story contains loving/sexual relationships between women.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Coming Out Borg Style
"So, ladies and gentlemen, if that's all," Janeway said, "we can bring this senior staff meeting to a close and go back to work." And I can go back to my ready room for a little one on one action with myself. These unoccupied systems are just so boring.
"Actually, Captain.." Seven began, with a surprisingly obvious air of nervousness about her. "There is something I would care to add. It is, however, of a personal nature."
"Okay, Seven, if noone has any objections..."Janeway allowed, looking around the table at the assembled officers. Everyone seemed confused and curious, well except Tuvok , who was the first to weigh in on the matter.
"Although I find it illogical to discuss personal matters in this venue, I trust that Seven has an important reason for doing so. I have no objections at this time." I'll just sit here arrogantly and meditate on humans and their illogical, irrational minds. It is imminently logical.
Obnoxiously chipper as always, Neelix pulled his thoughts away from the many enjoyable uses of leola root long enough to put in his two rations worth. "Personally, I think it's simply wonderful that Seven is willing to share her personal feelings with us. It shows great progress on her journey to humanity. I think I also speak for the rest of the senior staff when I say, I'm intrigued by this uncharacteristic turn of events." Leola root stew, fried leola root, boiled leola root, leola root souffle, leola root pudding, cajun blackened leola root, leola root curry.........
As everyone nodded at Neelix's statement, Janeway gave Seven the go ahead. "Okay, Seven, since everyone seems to be in agreement, what would you like to get off your chest?" mmmm....Seven....chest...need alone time.
"As you know, my journey to humanity has been a difficult one," Seven began. "I have had to discover many things about myself and other human beings that most take for granted. Recently I have discovered something about myself that my research indicates should be shared with one's family and friends. That would be you."
"Of course, Seven," the Doctor interrupted. "We're just one big happy family on Voyager." I wonder if the captain will allow me to enlarge my special subroutine?
"Thank you, Doctor. As I was saying, I've discovered that I possess a certain characteristic and my research indicates that I should share this information with my family and friends..."
"Well, you've definitely got our attention, Seven," Ensign Kim piped up. You've always got my attention, Seven, and someday I'll have yours. If I can just get past wetting my pants and running out of the room when an attractive woman tries to have sex with me.
"Thank you, Ensign Kim. Now if I may continue.." without all of your irrelevant prattling. Humans! "I have discovered that I am gay."
Suddenly Captain Janeway realized that wearing coffee is not nearly as appealing as drinking it. "WHAT? I mean,....what?" Oh, I've been such a good girl...Thank you, Santa Claus, wherever you are.
"I am gay, a lesbian, a dyke, a muff diver, a carpet muncher, I prefer to eat at the Y...."
Praise Khaless! "Uh, Seven," B'Elanna ventured once she regained control of her jaw. "Where did you pick up that....um...terminology?"
"I simply cross referenced all files in Voyager's database that mentioned homosexuality. It was rather enlightening."
"Okay, Seven," Harry Kim squeaked. "Are you sure you're a..a..lesbian?" Please let this be a mistake...Please let this be a mistake.....Please let this be a mistake.....
"Ensign Kim. I am here. I am queer. Assimilate this information. Any other questions?"
"Yeah, Seven?" Tom Paris nearly shouted, trying to be heard over Harry Kim's incessant bawling. "Is there any woman or women in particular you're interested in?" hmmm...Seven and the Delaney twins....whooops...won't be standing up for a while.
"Actually, I have found many women on this ship to be physically attractive. For example, objectively speaking, the captain has a rather nice rack...as it were...."
Go me! Who's the captain? "I'm flattered Seven," the captain smirked, pushing her shoulders back so that said rack would be more noticeable.
"Thank you, Captain. As I was saying, objectively speaking the captain is rather attractive, but I consider her merely a friend." Seven then raised her voice so that she could be heard over the captain's incessant bawling. "However, I find that I have deep feelings for one particular member of the crew. To my dismay, however, she is in a heterosexual relationship and is therefore unattainable."
Janeway perked up at that. The friend zone cannot hold me. I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager. "That's unfortunate, Seven. But, as they say, there are other fish in the sea." fish with nice racks and lots of shiny pips.....
"Yes," Seven admitted, "it is unfortunate. During my research into the matter, I discovered some rather interesting information on Klingon mating rituals that I was looking forward to researching further..."
Klingon? She said Klingon? Suddenly B'Elanna leapt from her seat to do the little known Klingon victory dance. "Go me! Who's the Chief Engineer? Say it, Baby. State my designation!"
"B'Elanna, honey?" Tom Paris simpered, finding that it wouldn't be difficult to stand up after all. "But we're in love. What about me? What about us?"
"Us, you PetaQ?" B'Elanna laughed. "Think about it. You....Seven.....You...Seven. Not a difficult decision."
"Oh, don't honey me, helmrat! Everyone on deck 9, section 12 knows when I'm masturbating, but NOONE knows when we're having sex. Get the picture? Now where was I? Oh yeah! Go me! Go me!"
"B'Elanna Torres!" Seven shouted over Tom Paris' incessant bawling. "Does this mean that you share my feelings?"
"Hmmm...let me see..." B'Elanna purred, before grabbing Seven and pressing her lips hungrily to the Borg's. "mmmmmmm....." What was her question again? Oh yeah.. After catching her breath, B'Elanna looked straight into Seven's eyes, which finally opened once her cortical node stopped doing little Borg cartwheels. "Definitely, Seven. So, let's blow this pop stand. I think we've both got the day off?"
"You are correct, B'Elanna." Klingon mating ritual number 27497. I think we'll try that one first...or maybe number 37691.
Janeway stopped banging her head against the table long enough to let out a whimpered "Dismissed."
Later, on deck 9, section 12, Voyager's fortunate crewmember's found out what a real Klingon orgasm sounds like.
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