2x01
Recap by Docwho2100

So we start the season 18 months after the end of season 1. We pick up with a nice young filly strumming guitar and singing (Hannah Madison Taylor as Savannah, Lu and Cricket's adopted daughter). Savannah has come to help with the Double D. We also find that the Double D is in mighty dire financial straights as the guests have been sparse. This turn down in guests leaves the wranglers with nothing much to do except play twister (oh Abby and Dee you can twist around each other all you like) and water the horses and gardens and each other (yes this season also has a yummy wet t-shirt themed scene). On top of everything else, Cricket (Linda Miller) is coming back and poor Lu (Melissa Denton) has been driven to drink unnamed liquor from a plastic bottle (as she says, "It is 5 o'clock somewhere).

As we pull out of the credits (new and improved for season 2), we find Cricket has "come home" (complete with peacock feather, which is strangely mesmerizing to watch her hold as she nervously plays with it and calls it an ostrich feather, is that some code name). She is escorted by none other than Officer Babe (Bridget McManus) and Officer Bitsy Calhoun (Matt Cohen looking wonderfully cowgirl up in drag once more). The officers give Cricket the conditions of her probation:

• No alcohol
• No fraternizing with any criminals
• No handling of weapons

Shall we take a drink every time she breaks one of these rules?

The ranch's wranglers are watching this homecoming with mixed emotions. Abby (Marnie Alton) is apprehensive and not sure why Cricket is back. Dee (Kodi Kitchen) is allowing and willing to give her a chance ("She did the crime, she did the time."). Rusty (Shannan Leigh Reeve) is also not too concerned (so we could say Cricket's return is approved by 2 out of 3 wranglers). The officers leave as they have an advanced origami class to attend (oh, that is what they call making out in a police car these days).

Cut to Cricket trying to work up courage as she has to face Lu. Savannah appears with two wine glasses filled with Schlitz beer (it seems it is a special thing Cricket use to do, serve beer in wine glasses, how romantic). Savannah proceeds to give Cricket a pep talk while Lu is reading Goats Magazine (I am intrigued now and want a subscription). Cricket takes a drink to steady her nerves before talking to Lu (and now we all get to take a drink as well).

The conversation between Cricket and Lu is so jagged and tense it hurts. Trying to ease things, Cricket brings out a gift she made with her own hands while in prison, a beer can bracelet (I sense a Cowgirl Up line of Cricket jewelry coming soon). Lu takes it, but puts it to the side (strike one Cricket). So Cricket tries for the hands on approach, awkwardly trying to massage Lu's back, that action goes down in flames (strike two Cricket). Lu starts on a tirade about how Cricket left the place a mess and no customers come because they might... (cue season one montage), get locked in a chicken coop (poor Abby), have voodoo-hoodoo done on you (poor, um everyone that got voodoo'd) and even kidnapping (poor Abby). So, what can Cricket do to try and stop the negative flow? How about we have an "All-Star Cowgirl Weekend". Make the weekend bigger, have three bunkhouses instead of two. Invite T.V. guest stars and even have the wranglers compete. Now I just have to take a moment to say I love Lu. Watching her describe her current favorite show, "Spur" and attempting the theme music, well, I just love Lu. We even get a show within a show called "Spur" which features a cowgirl with painted fingernails and cleavage, lots of cleavage.

So, things are looking good for Cricket. Lu is excited, even agrees to take the bracelet, but as she leaves her parting words to Cricket are… "I hope that couch is comfortable" (strike three Cricket, you are outttaaa here).

Next morning as the rooster crows we see… women in orange jumpsuits walking down the road (have I stumbled into an episode of "Orange is the New Black?"). Nope, it turns out Cricket made "friends" in prison. Betty (Maeve Quinlan) and Snapper (Brandy Howard) found out from Cricket that the Double D is sitting on some oil and they want the ranch for themselves. So, how to get to the Double D? Why flash your breasts, hijack a truck and you are on your way. We also find out why Abby is apprehensive, she really loves it there and is afraid Cricket's return may upset the way things have been going.

We finish out the episode with another cheesy but endearing Double D Ranch advertisement and meeting the contestants for the All-Star Weekend via the bunkhouse interviews.

Silverado (the odd bunch)

• Dakota (Mandy Musgrave) is back and ready to win. She brought her best friend along, Maddie. She is ready to compete and is not putting up with any crap this time.
• Maddie (Valery Ortiz) who is tough, mean and it is none of your business how she and Dakota met. She does not put up with any bullshit and is ready to kick some ass. Her favorite saying, "Don't get mad, get even, I do both.".
• Robbie (Aasha Davis) the star of the T.V. show "Spur" who is so excited to be there. She is planning to learn all the secrets from the professional cowgirls and even do her own stunts. Oh, brown horses are her favorite.
• Savannah is a great combination of both her moms (a cowgirl like Cricket and a hostess and crafty like Lu). She talks a lot about Abby and how much she and Abby have in common and how Abby is the Patsy to Savannah's Loretta, not that Savannah is looking for love... but... (Oh Dee, better watch out).

Tombstone (the loose cannons)

• Babe has been working on her anger and is back. She moved from NOLA to California to be a sheriff having met Bitsy and those two have become the Cagney and Lacey of Cochella. And ok, I just have to mention this. Her gun is on the left side when they bring Cricket in but on the right during her interview, is she ambidextrous? Ambidextrous girls are very versatile.
• Buckshot Betty is just a Louisiana gal with the secret plan to take over the ranch and has an eye on the ranch owner, Cricket. She really likes shotguns.
• Snapper has this thing about being filmed and is looking for new energy as she has been in bad relationships. She is ready for some girls, but they have to be a non-smoker as she just quit.

Deadwood (the wrangler bunkhouse)

• Dee brings her cheerful enthusiasm oozing out as she is a returning champion and a wrangler. She uses the L word ("I fell in love with Abby") and is just all lollipops and sunshine.
• Abby has been at the ranch since she came to compete and it is perhaps the longest she has been in one place since she was a swaddled baby. She happens to talk a lot about Savannah. She talks about Dee too (they became "real close" and good friends... notice no L word from Abby) but there is a darker piece to the relationship. Abby senses Dee misses something (crying, putting on red lipstick and dancing in front of the mirror). She is afraid Dee might bite her, or an animal might bite her, Abby's analogy gets a little confusing towards the end.
• Rusty has been wrangling at the Double D for seven years. She is excited about competing rather than having to teach the guests. She also wants Abby and Dee not to fight like girls but to go out to the stable and duke it out (do I sense a girl cat fight coming). She also wants to prove herself to Coon-Ass Kate.
• Coon-Ass Kate (Kate McCoy) proclaims this is stupid and she is into dudes (Coon-Ass Kate is gritting her way into my heart, spit and all).

This is going to be one hell of a weekend.

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