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Damn Borg
By Rany

For the love of Kah'less, why won't that damn Borg keep out of my engine room? Every time I turn around she's down here. Wait what's this? This looks suspiciously like a damn Borg modification. It is a damn Borg modification. Okay that's it. This is the last straw. I am going to find Barbie Borg and launch her out of the nearest airlock. I don't believe it. She came down from on high, walked into my engine room and made a damn Borg modification. Why the gall, the pure gumption. How dare her! That damn Borg. She's on the holodeck-the holodeck. She struts into my engine room, makes changes to my ship and then calmly goes to the holodeck for some R&R. Not today.

Kah'less, what is she doing? Trust that damn Borg to shamelessly show her tight, well-rounded, shapely behind to the whole ship. Wait did I just describe her behind as tight, well-rounded, and shapely. Nevertheless, I'm going to enjoy wiping the floor with that damn Borg. Janeway will probably throw me in the brig for molesting Barbie Borg but it will be worth it…why is she still bending over. I can see…Kah'less I don't believe what I can see. I guess the doctor didn't bother to give her any hair follicles there. Oh sweet Kah'less it's magnificent. No no focus. What did you come up here for? What did I come up here for? Think! think! Somebody shoot me, she's stretching. That's right honey a little bit to the left. No! Borg modifications, got to tell her not to install…she can do a full spilt. Something's wrong with environmental controls. It is way too hot in here. I'll tell her not too mess with my ship and then I'll go. Well maybe after she finishes that… Is she doing what I think she's doing? Please somebody help me? Focus got to focus. Damn Borg modifications bad, telling chief good! Wonder if she's ever been with a woman? Wonder if I ever been with a woman? Borg modifications, right got to tell her not to… Oh God please shoot me now, somebody please shoot me now.

"Lieutenant, may I be of assistance. You seem flustered."

"No got to go. Somebody messed with environmental controls. It's too hot in here. Can't breathe"

"Lieutenant, the temperature in this room is standard for the ship, but if you are damaged? I will gladly escort you to the sick bay after this last stretch."

"Lieutenant Torres, why are you fleeing? Wait I will escort you to the sick bay."

Damn Borg

The End

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