DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Never were. Not making any $$. Don't HAVE any $$. Don't sue.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first SoN fic. I haven't seen all the episodes; so, bear with me while I learn the characters.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: All but mostly 'Friends with Benefits'.
Down to One
By Aeryn Sun
96
Spencer kept what she knew to herself for the rest of the day, telling Ashley that she was quiet because she was suffering a migraine. No one had seen Madison after the cheer leader's run in with Spencer; she'd gone home 'sick'. The fact that Madison didn't stick around to milk the attention a black eye and injured hand would get her, not to mention the joy she'd get for getting Spencer into trouble for the assault surprised the blonde.
She knew that Madison could get her suspended very easily because no one had to know exactly why she hit her. It made Spencer wonder if maybe Madison was plotting her revenge at home while she attempted to hide the bruises under a years worth of MAC. And that image amused the hell out of her.
(Sitting in front of a mirror, clutching a pillow to her chest, thinking about how she's going to make the 'baby dyke' pay as she sobs over her damaged face…ha! I love it) Spencer thought to herself, smiling slightly as she sat on her bed. (God, Glen is going to kill me)
She sighed, knowing that the eventual confrontation with her brother would be nasty. She wished Ashley was with her at the moment, wanting to just hug and cuddle and forget the horrible images Madison's words had brought to mind. But Ashley was at a therapy session at Arthur's office. It was her third appointment and the therapist, Jordan, thought it might be good for just Ashley to go so Arthur had taken her. Spencer felt slightly put out but understood that Ashley had to be able to stand on her own emotionally or she'd be doing more harm than good to the brunette in the long run.
As she thought back on the days events, Spencer found that she was feeling physically ill and fighting with herself over whether or not she should tell Ashley hat she knew or wait for Ashley to eventually tell her herself.
(I'll probably have an ulcer if I wait) she thought darkly. The constant rolling of nausea in her stomach wasn't helping her thought process. She laid down on her side and pulled Ashley's stuffed dog, Murphy to her chest, and stared at the wall.
(How does she do it? How does Ashley wake up everyday with all those memories and stuff, and just go through her day like nothing ever happened? I wouldn't be that strong. I'd be a hideous mess, crying and violent and angry. Yet, Ashley is nothing like that. It does explain some of her issues, her emotional walls. But Jesus, who could blame her?)
She ruminated even more about how anyone, especially a parent could do the things that Madison hinted at. What really shocked Spencer is that the Latina hadn't even really given any details yet she'd given just enough to fill the teen's overactive imagination. Her mind couldn't stop playing out various scenarios, abuses, horrible nightmarish truths she knew were just below the surface of those coffee colored orbs Spencer loved staring into.
(How does no one know? How did no one notice the abuse?) she wondered. Her eyes narrowed. (Aiden…)
Newfound anger flooded Spencer's system as she thought of her girlfriend's ex and good friend. He'd known her a long time, since childhood. Even Ashley had admitted a few times that the dark haired boy had been one of the only constants in her life up until Spencer. While they hadn't always been close, Aiden had been there, somewhere in the picture.
(How could he have never noticed anything? Like a bruise? Tears? Her not being in school?) Spencer seethed, the helplessness that she felt over the whole situation easily flowing into rage as she thought more and more about Ashley's childhood.
(I swear he and I are going to have a hell of a fucking loooooooong chat whenever I get the chance) She frowned. (Although I have no idea when I'll be able to say anything to him because I'm not going to do it until I talk things over with Ashley. Maybe he did know and she made him promise to never tell. If that's the case then I'll forgive him.)
(Maybe)
The sound of the bedroom door opening brought her out of the light doze she'd slipped into somewhere in the midst of her thoughts. She felt the lithe, warm body slip into bed behind her and cuddle in close, spooning her and throwing one arm over the blonde's waist.
"Hey," she greeted Ashley as the brunette kissed the back of her neck. It sent a pleasant chill down her spine.
"Hey," Ashley whispered back, sounding tired. Spencer rolled over in her arms and looked at the flushed, tear stained face.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Spencer asked concerned. Ashley sniffled while Spencer wiped away the fallen tears.
"Nothing, Spence, just a rough day," the older girl answered with a thin smile. "It's nothing that a little cuddle and snuggle from my girlfriend won't cure." Spencer smiled brightly.
"I think I can help you out with that," she offered, wrapping her arms around Ashley in the same way the brunette was holding her. They moved closer, kissing slowly for several pleasant moments before resting their foreheads together.
Spencer was again in silent awe of Ashley's inner strength as she stared into her eyes. Now that she knew what she knew she swore that she could see the hidden pain, the torment that Ashley hid from everyone. She knew that the smaller girl essentially looked the same but there was something, a depth to Ashley's eyes that Spencer had never noticed before.
(Maybe it was there and I just didn't understand) she wondered.
"Penny for 'em," Ashley prodded. Spencer shrugged.
"You'd have change coming back," she joked weakly. Ashley yawned widely. "Aww, tired?" The other girl nodded. "Then let's nap. Dad will call us for dinner."
97
"What the hell, Spencer?" Glen demanded to know, nearly kicking in her bedroom door later that evening. Spencer looked up from her laptop unimpressed. Glen had missed dinner thanks to basketball practice but she knew that it was only a matter of time before Glen came home and demanded an explanation for her actions. She figured that she had broken Madison's nose with her well placed blow; she'd felt the smaller girl's bones break against her fingers. It had been kind of disgusting but at the same time, incredibly satisfying.
When the door rattled sharply again, Spencer rolled her eyes and got up. She was glad that Ashley had gone out to get ice cream. She herself didn't feel much like leaving the house so she feigned the migraine again. Ashley promised her favorite treat from the local creamery to make her feel better.
She unlocked and yanked open the door and stared into the irate boys' face.
"Yes?" she asked nonplussed. Glen glared at her.
"You broke Madison's nose!" he growled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Spencer sighed.
"Did you happen to ask her why I punched her?" she wondered. (And kicked her and stepped on her hand) she thought to herself, re-watching the incident in her mind with a sense of pride. She thought that maybe she should feel some sort of remorse for her actions, but she didn't. So she shrugged it off as justified. Besides, watching Ashley laugh at a very edited version of the incident earlier was well worth it.
She didn't tell Ashley what Madison had told her; a fact that was quickly eating the young girl up inside. She wanted to be totally honest with Ashley and as much as she dreaded the truth she now knew that Ashley was hiding from her, Spencer wanted to hear it and get it out in the open so that she and Ashley could move on from it.
Again, all the horrible images of what may have happened to that bright eyed little girl in the photo with her father that now sat on her nightstand flashed through her mind, refueling her fear and her sense of justice. She couldn't lash out at the people who really were guilty, at least not yet so she lashed out at Madison who tried to use such a personal thing as a weapon. In that moment, Spencer felt true hatred for the first time; towards Madison, towards Mrs. Davies and towards anyone else who had had a hand in hurting the girl she loved so deeply.
"Look, just cuz she shot her mouth off about your dykey little friend…" Glen growled. Spencer growled under her breath. She wasn't going to take any more of his macho posturing and slurs towards Ashley. He was her own brother and if she was going to stop anyone from hurting Ashley, she was going to start right there, in her own home.
"Look, you idiot Neanderthal," she started. "I didn't wanna tell you like this but I'm gay, I'm dating Ashley and I am not going to put up with your whore of a girlfriend talking shit about her. Not right now and not ever. I'm through listening to the snickers and the comments when Madison passes Ashley in the hall, her throwing vicious hurtful words at my girlfriend. That time is over. If she doesn't stop, well next time I'll just hit her harder until she gets the message. The same goes for you!"
Glen's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide.
"You…you're gay? What the fuck, Spencer?" he stammered. Spencer arched an eyebrow.
"What was so hard to understand about that, Glen?" she asked sarcastically. "I'm gay, homosexual, lesbian, queer, whatever. Deal with it."
"Mom and Dad aren't going to put up with this…" Glen threatened.
"Mom and Dad already know you moron!" Spencer spat back. Impossibly, Glen's eyes got wider.
"This is why Mom left, isn't it? It wasn't because she and Dad were having trouble! It was you and Ashley! She caused it. All because that bitch turned you into a snatch diving freak!" Spencer's hand shot out and struck her brother hard across the face, much like the day she hit him at school.
"You narrow-minded, ignorant little prick!" she growled darkly. "God, I am so tired of the shit you and people like you and Madison keep throwing at me and at Ashley. We're gay! So what? We're still the same people we were before you found out. I'm no different from you or Clay, or although I hate to admit it, Madison!"
"You're destroying our family!" Glen yelled. "Ashley is destroying everything!"
"Ashley is family!" Spencer argued back. "And I am still your sister. That hasn't changed…"
"You disgust me, Spencer," Glen spat as he rubbed his face where she'd struck him. "A fucking homo and a violent one at that." Spencer frowned at him.
"I'm not proud of the fact that I hit you, Glen," she said darkly. "I don't like that you keep pushing me to that place. As satisfying as it was to hit Madison, I know that it was wrong. Do you even have a clue how hard this is? Knowing that I may lose some of the most important people in my life?"
"Get a grip, Spencer," Glen shot back. "You don't want to deal with people hating you for your choice, then don't fuck girls. Don't let Ashley change you."
"God, could you be any more ignorant?" Spencer yelled. "Ashley had nothing to do with it. It's not some choice, you twit. I didn't wake up one morning and think to myself 'what can I possibly do to make my close-knit loving family hate me?' 'What can I do to make me the butt of every mean joke, cruel gesture and hateful thought of a fairly large portion of society'? Yeah, great 'choice', Glen. I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner."
"Spencer, it doesn't have to be like this," Glen told her. "Just send Ashley home and don't talk to her anymore. I'll fix it at school so that no one thinks you were ever with her…"
"Oh really?" Spencer challenged, putting her hands on her hips. "And how would you do that, huh? Tell everyone that she forced me into it? Say that she brainwashed me?"
"Yes!" Glen said enthusiastically. "Spence, no one likes her anyway. No one's going to care if we talk shit about her. They know she's a freak…"
"Leave right now unless you want me to hit you again," Spencer warned, her tone low and rumbling. Glen stopped in mid word and stared at his baby sister. He's never seen her so angry in his life; the rage was rolling off her in waves as her eyes turned a dark color.
"Spence…"
"I swear to God, Glen Michael Carlin, if you don't walk away right now…" she stopped and took a deep breath. "Ashley is not a freak. Someone does care about her; me. And that's not going to change. I'm gay, I'm with Ashley, I love her and you can either deal with it or you can just fuck off!"
She slammed the door in the boy's face and stood behind it, shaking in anger. She wanted to punch something, somebody but knew that that was not a constructive answer. She took several deep breaths to calm herself and when that didn't work, she counted to one hundred. And then to five hundred. When she reached one thousand she gave up on that too and simply sat on her bed.
(Well, shit) she sighed. (That went…well about as bad as I thought it would go. He's such an ass.) She ran a frustrated hand through her hair.
Minutes later, the door creaked open, drawing Spencer's attention. She saw a white shirt on the end of a stick being waved in the crack, the sign for surrender.
"Glen," she sighed. The door opened further and Ashley, arms laid down with bags as the makeshift flag dangled in between her fingers appeared looking sheepish.
"Just me, Spence, I come in peace," she said softly. "I heard yelling and decided not to get caught in the crossfire." She put the bags down on the dresser before walking over to her girlfriend.
"Are you ok?" she asked. Spencer nodded mutely. Ashley ran her hands through the tousled hair, smoothing it down and further calming the still upset blonde.
"I heard what you said to Glen," she continued, her voice very soft, almost timid. "I didn't want to get in the way…"
"How much did you hear?" Spencer asked sadly. She turned to look into sad brown eyes that were not doing a good job of hiding their hurt.
"Uhm, I came in somewhere around 'no one likes her anyway. No one's going to care if we talk shit about her. They know she's a freak' which wasn't anything I didn't already know."
"Oh Ashley," Spencer sighed, leaning into the smaller body, seeking comfort and warmth. "You know that's not true…" Ashley shook her head.
"Yes it is, Spence," she countered. They both knew that that was exactly what most of the school population thought so Spencer chose not to needlessly debate it. "But you know what? I don't care." Spencer pulled away slightly to look into Ashley's face.
"Ashley, it shouldn't be like that…" she started. Ashley shrugged.
"But it is," she said simply. "And that's ok." Spencer opened her mouth to protest but Ashley just covered her lips with her fingers. "Don't, Spencer. You can't change what is. I've learned to deal with it. And I'm ok with it, honest. Do you understand why?" Spencer frowned in confusion which made Ashley smile.
"Because I heard what you said too, Spencer," she told her happily. "I heard you tell your brother that you cared about me, that you loved me. No one else's opinion matters to me. Just you, baby." Spencer cuddled back into the brunette's chest, letting herself cry over the situation, her anger at her brother dissipating.
Ashley held her tightly, whispering soothing words and waiting for the blonde to ride out the wave of emotions arguing with her brother the way she did had created. A few minutes after the crying stopped, she pulled away enough to wipe at the remaining tears on Spencer's beautiful if flushed face.
"Come on, baby, the ice cream's melting," she coaxed with a bright smile. Spencer smiled back and nodded.
98
Ashley squinted and took aim at the small hoop affixed on the front of the Carlin garage. She sucked at this game, always had; never really saw the whole point in running around bouncing a ball and trying to fit it in a basket. Then again, team sports were never her thing. She figured it was the whole 'learning to depend on others' thing that kept hanging her up. Ashley Davies was simply never a team player.
That fact was never more obvious to Ashley then during her short and ultimately forgetful stint as a cheerleader. She'd reluctantly joined the team at Madison's insistence, the Latina wanting to have a friend on the squad with her. There was no doubt in Ashley's ability to do the cheers; it was her motivation that was lacking. She hated the practices, being on someone else's time and having to wait for someone else to catch up. The waiting had annoyed her to no end.
Of course, being a cheerleader had its expectations and one of those had been that someone had to date Aiden, the star of the basketball team. She was already beginning to realize that she wasn't all that interested in boys by then but when it became clear that the jock was going to chose between her and Madison, that's when Ashley's competitive side came out in force. She did everything she could to make sure she won that little popularity contest and when she did, Ashley learned that winning was not always all it was cracked up to be.
Then she'd gained a boyfriend and lost a friend thanks to bitterness and jealousy. The ironic thing was that Ashley hadn't even wanted Aiden and as far as she was concerned, Madison could have him. She knew that the relationship was doomed thanks to the fact that she was more interested in watching the girl's volleyball squad practice than her own boyfriend's team. Then she became pregnant and then lost the baby. She'd broken up with Aiden after that, unwilling and unable to continue lying to him about caring for him. That was when Madison suddenly reappeared offering her a shoulder to cry on. She should have known that the smaller girl had an ulterior motive: Aiden.
Madison let Ashley confess to everything from her like of girls to the abuse, in all its ugly detail while she was not only drunk off her ass thanks to Jose, but higher than the Goodyear Blimp. Madison's brother always had the best bud and had no problem with supplying the girls with it, as long as Ashley paid. She poured her heart out on a Friday and by Monday morning the whole school knew she liked girls, she was booted off the squad and had everyone even remotely near her social circle turn their backs on her, including Aiden.
She'd been surprised that Madison hadn't spilled the other, darker secrets but was thankful that the girl had had that much discretion at all. Unfortunately she also knew that Madison was simply waiting to drop the bomb whenever the most collateral damage could possibly be done. The way Ashley's skin crawled recently, the looks Madison was shooting her at school and the fact that she was actually happy with Spencer told her that it probably wasn't that far off in the future when Madison would tell someone. And that that someone would probably be Spencer.
(I hope…God I really hope that she can still love me) she thought sadly, tossing the ball up and watching, less than amused as it simply bounced off and rolled into the backyard. She was about to go retrieve it when an angry voice behind her startled her.
"What will it take for you to leave my sister alone?" Glen asked crossly. Sighing, Ashley turned around to look at the blonde boy.
"Glen, I'm really not in the mood," she sighed. Glen scowled at her.
"Fuck you, 'not in the mood'," he snapped. "I wanna know. What do I have to do to get you to leave Spencer, my family alone?" Ashley shook her head.
"It's not like that…" she started. Glen advanced on her, sending a jolt of fear through the brunette's body. She hoped that he wouldn't be brazen enough to attack her again while Spencer was inside the house fixing lunch.
"You are destroying her life, my family, Ashley," he hissed. "Then again, you have no idea what 'family' means, do you? You fucking loser." Ashley rolled her eyes. She hated that whenever someone was angry at her they took potshots at her family life. It seemed like an incredibly cheap shot to her.
"A family is a group of people that love you and accept you for who you are, regardless of whether you are blood relative or not," she retorted. "Right? I mean, maybe I'm fuzzy on the whole concept but that's pretty much what it is, right? I mean, cuz, you accept Clay and he's black."
"Don't even try to compare that to Spencer and you," he argued. "That is totally different."
"How? How is that different?" Ashley countered. "You accept him, despite his differences. Why can't you accept Spencer? She's still your little sister…"
"Clay didn't choose to be black!" Glen yelled. "You've got Spencer all twisted around into thinking that this is what she wants. Everyone knows what you are, Ashley…"
"Oh really?" she challenged. "And what am I then?"
"A WHORE! Nothing but a dirty, diseased, perverted whore!" Ashley resisted the urge to smack the tall boy; instead she clenched her hands into fists at her sides and tried taking deep breaths to calm herself.
"I am not a whore," she said lowly, threateningly. Glen rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, Ashley. You are still just using my sister for a cheap thrill and when you get bored you're going to just leave her, break her heart and I won't let you do it," he told her. "Why don't you just do the right thing for a change? Do her a favor and just walk away now, Ashley. So Spencer can get her head, and everything else, straight. She's not like you; she's not gay." Ashley let out a long, annoyed breath.
"I'm sorry…" she began. Glen laughed.
"Damn right you are," he interrupted.
"I was saying that 'I'm sorry' you have such a low opinion of me," Ashley rebounded. "I'm sorry that my girlfriend's brother is such a self-absorbed dick that he won't let her be happy…" Glen's face turned purple in rage.
"WHAT?" he roared. Ashley smirked. "I'm trying to do what's right for her!"
"Bullshit. This isn't about me and Spencer. Hell, this isn't even about Spencer. You are such a selfish asshat that you would ruin your own little sister's happiness because of what it makes people think of you." Glen's eyes narrowed as he looked at the incredibly pissed off brunette.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"You try to come across as the 'good big brother', telling me that leaving Spencer would be right; fucking bullshit. You know what would be right, Glen? If her big brother would fucking act like it! Family loves each other, even when they don't agree. Stop worrying about what it means to your reputation having a gay sister and remember that she's still your sister! Do you think you can pull your head out of your ass long enough to see that you're hurting her?"
"I'm not hurting her, you are!" Glen raged. "You say you love her but you don't know how to love anyone but yourself! Everyone knows that, Ashley. Everyone I guess except you." Ashley glared at him at a loss for to what to say. Seeing that he'd caught her off-guard, Glen went in for the kill.
"That's right, Ashley. Everyone knows that besides being a huge slut who'll fuck anyone and anything walking, you're a cold-hearted bitch. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You enjoy using people anyway you can. You get your kicks, what you need from people and then abandon them in shattered pieces. You get some sort of perverted kick out of the whole thing. You did it to Madison, to Aiden and now you're aiming for my baby sister and I won't let you!"
The basketball made a loud 'twang' as it bounced forcefully off of Glen's head, knocking him forward a step. He spun around angrily and saw Spencer standing with Clay a few feet away. The look of utter rage and betrayal on Spencer's face tugged at his heart. He hated that his brother was also looking at him angrily.
"Get away from her!" Spencer screamed as she approached.
"Glen, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Clay asked. Spencer got in between her brother and girlfriend while shooting daggers at Glen. Clay put his hand on Glen's shoulder and pulled him away from Ashley.
"I'm doing what's right!" Glen said indignantly. Clay shook his head.
"How is verbally attacking, insulting, and degrading Ashley the right thing?" he asked. Spencer was leading Ashley out of the yard and back into the house, leaving the brothers to sort themselves out.
"She needs to know that we know what she really is," Glen tried to explain.
"And what is she, Glen? What is Ashley that is so bad that you have to break Spencer's heart?" Glen shook his head.
"She's perverting Spencer! Turning her into…into…one of those people!"
"She has done nothing of the sort," Clay huffed back. "She's in love with Spencer and even if you can't see it, Spencer is in love with her."
"It's wrong! I am trying to protect my sister!"
"Love is not wrong, Glen!" Clay finally lost his temper and yelled at his thickheaded brother. It shocked Glen into silence since Clay never raised his voice.
"Look," Clay began slowly, his voice low and serious. "You need to grow up, Glen. Not everything in life is as simple as you seem to think it is. I believe the same things that you do; I was raised the same. So was Spencer. Yet both of us can realize, accept that not everything is going to line up perfectly with what we were raised to believe. And that doesn't make it wrong. It just proves that things like love can't be dictated by words written in a book thousands of years ago. Life is simply more complicated than that."
"And you need to either accept that, Glen, or deal with the fact that you are going to lose your little sister. And it will be no one's fault except your own."
"Are you ok?" Spencer asked as she sat Ashley down at the kitchen table with the lunch she'd made. She'd gone to the pantry for bread and missed the beginning of the confrontation between her girlfriend and brother taking place in the yard. When she saw it, and the way the two were heatedly arguing, she'd headed out to stop it before it got violent like that day at school. She was not letting Glen lay another hand on Ashley; she'd hit him herself first. She's been glad when Clay had suddenly appeared, home from an afternoon date with Chelsea and was headed in the same direction.
They'd yelled from a few feet away for the two to stop fighting but went unnoticed. That was when Spencer picked up the forgotten basketball and thrown it, with unerring aim at her brother's head.
"Your brother is an asshole," Ashley said darkly, biting into her sandwich viciously. Spencer smiled at her.
"I thought you already knew that," she tried to joke. Ashley gave her a dismal look and went back to her food. "Ash, you know he didn't mean what he said…"
"No, Spencer, he meant every word," Ashley interjected. "And that's what makes it hurt so bad. He actually believes it." Spencer reached over and covered Ashley's hand with her own.
"Do you believe it?" she asked the older girl. Ashley looked up at her, brown eyes locking with blue for a brief moment before she looked away.
"I don't know," she whispered. "I really don't know anymore."
99
Knowing that both boys had left the house for the rest of the afternoon, Clay to the library and Glen to see Madison, Spencer smiled at the girl eating lunch with her, a plan forming in her mind. She cleared the plates when they were finished and glanced at her girlfriend.
"Come on, Ashley, I wanna show you something," she said lovingly as Ashley sat lost in thought at the kitchen table. After her whispered confession of confusion and hurt, Ashley had gone silent, simply chewing her food mechanically and staring at the wood grain tabletop.
She looked up at Spencer's words, seeing only love and a twinkle in the younger girls' eyes and nodded. She let herself be lead by the hand up the stairs and into Spencer's bedroom. Although nowadays the room looked more like a mix of the two girls with Ashley's things strewn about different areas and her guitar on its stand next to the bed. Spencer had even put up a 'Purple Venom' poster to make it feel more like home to Ashley. While it wasn't 'home' in the strictest sense, it was where Ashley felt the most at home, the most comfortable. She wondered if it was sad that she felt that way for the first time in her life.
Spencer let her in first and then closed the door behind them. The clinking of the lock being slid shut behind them caused goose bumps to rise on Ashley's skin. It'd been awhile since they were alone, intimate like it seemed that they were about to be. She turned to look at Spencer and swallowed hard, the desire and want in those indigo eyes stealing her breath.
"Lay down on the bed," Spencer told her firmly. Ashley bit her lip.
"Uhm…" she stuttered. Spencer tilted her head in amusement.
"Please?" she asked. Ashley nodded and did as she was asked, unsure as to where her sudden nervousness was coming from.
Spencer looked at her girlfriend, waiting on the bed expectantly and felt her heart seize for a moment. She wanted them to be totally honest with each other and that meant telling Ashley that she knew about the abuse from her childhood. But this didn't feel right to her; Ashley was too vulnerable from the verbal attack Glen had launched against her earlier. So, Spencer decided to rebuild the girl in the most loving way she knew how. She wanted to erase all the bad and replace it with love.
She got on the bed and straddled the older girl, looking down at her lovingly. She stroked Ashley's cheek gently, then traced her fingertips over lush eyebrows. Ashley's eyes fluttered shut at the soft touches.
"Baby, do you trust me?" Spencer asked in a whisper. Brown eyes reopened and focused directly on blue. Ashley's eyes were dark, the milk chocolate color swirling into something richer and making Spencer's heart pound. She knew what that color change meant and it was exactly what she wanted.
"Of course," Ashley husked. Spencer leaned down and captured Ashley's lips in a searing kiss, feeling the body beneath hers respond to the intensity. She then moved to the brunette's jaw line, nipping her way across it to Ashley's ear, back down her neck and stopping at the collar of her shirt. She moved back up to her girlfriend's ear and let her warm breath wash over the sensitive organ, feeling Ashley shudder against her.
"Undress for me, Ashley," she requested softly. The words were barely out of her mouth before Ashley sat up slightly and ripped her shirt over her head followed shortly after by her jeans. Clad only in her bra and panties, the older girl relaxed down onto the bed and looked expectantly back at her girlfriend. Spencer smiled at her and repeated the process on her own clothing. They both let out long sighs as Spencer lay down atop Ashley and their scantily bodies came into full contact.
They kissed again, letting hands roam and legs entwine together. With her knee between Ashley's, Spencer could feel the heat emanating from the smaller girl's core and it made her insides burn with arousal. She let any other thoughts she had at the time, worries and concerns drift to the back of her mind so that she only concentrated on Ashley and the fire quickly building between them.
She felt Ashley arch into her, seeking more friction against the blonde's leg while her hands went around Spencer to unhook her bra. The garment fell down her shoulders and she lifted her arms to toss it across the room. Eager hands, warm and soft in their touch, grazed her now bare breasts eliciting a low moan from the younger girl's lips.
"Mmmm, Spence," Ashley whispered as she kneaded the soft globes of flesh in her palms. Spencer's hips jerked forward when she pinched the erect nipples in her fingers. "So soft…" Blue eyes blazed with desire as they rocked against each other, pants and moans merging into one as they moved.
They kissed, long and deep as they kept moving, both striving to reach that peak, to tumble into ecstasy together. Lips collided, teeth nipped and pulled at the skin they could reach causing moans and gasps of want to provide their background music.
At some point, Spencer freed Ashley from her bra and then her panties, leaving the brunette bare beneath her. She shed her own panties and then went back to riding the slender thigh trapped between her own. She could feel that they both were getting close; Ashley's breath was beginning to hitch in the back of her throat and she was digging her fingernails into Spencer's back. The feel of Ashley's wetness, her arousal on her leg made Spencer growl deep in her throat and her mouth watered.
Ashley whimpered, loudly, grinding hard into Spencer's thigh. She looked up at the taller girl hovering above her, lips red and swollen from kissing, and sheen of sweat covering her pale skin, making it glisten in the afternoon sunlight. She trailed her hand down Spencer's cheek, watching indigo eyes flutter open and lock onto her own.
"Beautiful…" Ashley whispered. Spencer's face fell forward, her blonde hair falling around them like a shield, hiding them from the outside world. The sunlight coming through the curtain illuminated her from behind, making her glow in a breathtaking and unearthly way. The image was too much for Ashley and she felt her orgasm rush through her, hot and powerful.
"Oh God, baby," Spencer gasped as she heard Ashley vocalize her release in primal vocabulary which held no meaning outside of that moment. The brunette's leg jolted upwards hard into Spencer's core causing the blonde's own release which she muffled in the other girl's shoulder by biting down.
"Unnngggfff…" Spencer groaned as the contractions continued. She collapsed onto Ashley, her arms too rubbery to hold her up any longer and together they basked in the fleeting warm of their climaxes.
A few moments later, when she regained her breath, Spencer leaned over the lithe body beside her and reached down between the bed and night stand for a surprise for Ashley. She'd hidden it there awhile back with the intention of introducing it eventually but things seemed to keep getting in the way and she didn't feel that the timing was right. After her talk about wanting to share 'firsts' with the older girl, she remembered it and decided to bring it out.
"Ash," she whispered, getting the other girl's attention. One dark eye opened to look at her.
"Yeah?" Ashley responded, voice still rough. It sent a pleasant shiver through Spencer's body. The blonde laid back on her side of the bed and held the object, hidden in her palm, over Ashley's abdomen.
"Can I use this?" she asked shyly, using her other hand to hit a control on the remote. A low rumble accompanied the vibrations currently hitting Ashley in the stomach. She gasped and her back involuntarily arched into it.
Surprised brown eyes looked from the hand on her abs to shy blue eyes, partially hidden by blonde bangs.
"You want to use a toy?" she asked gently. Spencer bit her lip and nodded. It surprised Ashley that as forward as Spencer had been in their relationship up to this point that she would ask. Then she realized that for all her sometimes wonderful aggressiveness, Spencer was still a novice in the realm of sex and didn't want to overstep any boundaries that Ashley might have.
Deciding to be as direct as possible, Ashley covered the hand holding the slightly vibrating object and moved it lower, her intent obvious.
"Yes, Spencer," she said firmly, lovingly. "Please." The blonde's head bounced up and she grinned happily at Ashley. Before Ashley could process what was happening, the vibe was pressed against her still twitching clit and a hot mouth suddenly enveloped her left nipple.
"Oh shit!" she gasped, writhing under the dual attack. Her hips rose to meet every pass and press of the vibrator against her center as Spencer used her mouth and other hand to pinch and nip at her nipples. The sensations from her chest were sending bolts of need directly to her core which were met by the small egg-shaped vibe.
"Oh God, Spencer!" Ashley cried out, burying one hand in her own hair while the other grasped the wrist controlling the device and pressed it closer. She was panting harshly while she felt Spencer shift position. Her hand was pried off of Spencer and the remote was placed into it.
"You control it, baby," Spencer husked, her voice low and rumbling from the back of her throat. "I need my hands free." Ashley responded to the words with a desperate whimper. She kept the vibrator at the speed it was and all but jumped off the bed as a slender finger slipped inside her.
"Fuck, Spencer!" she ground out. Even through her sexual haze, she heard Spencer's answering chuckle.
"Yes, baby," she agreed. "I'm going to." A hand grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and pulled hard. Spencer glanced up to see Ashley's eyes so dark they were black looking back down at her.
"Say it," the tan-skinned girl growled. "Oh please Spencer, say it." Keeping her finger deep inside Ashley's hot canal, she moved upwards to whisper directly into her girlfriend's ear.
"I'm gonna fuck you, Ashley," she rumbled. "I'm gonna fuck you so long and so hard that when I'm done, you will never think of anyone else. You will only ever think of me, touching you, kissing you, making you cum…"
"Only you," Ashley whimpered. "Oh god, only ever you…" Satisfied with the response, Spencer moved back down the writhing body. She slipped another finger inside her girlfriend, feeling muscles clench around the probing digits.
She moved so that she could keep one hand at Ashley's center and still reach her breasts. She licked and sucked one nipple into her mouth while she echoed the movement with her hand on the other. Ashley's moans were constant and blended into the pleas and whispered prayers of supplication that slipped from her mouth. Spencer heard the power on the vibrator climb and Ashley's volume level mimic it.
Spencer added another finger to the tight passage, curling them to hit the spot she knew drove Ashley crazy. The primal scream that ripped itself from Ashley's throat as she climaxed made Spencer shiver in completion herself. The sound was raw and basic, animalistic in nature, and unlike anything she'd ever heard from Ashley before. As she lay there panting, feeling Ashley's muscles continuing to twitch, Spencer decided that she wanted to hear it a lot more often.
Absently, she noticed the power on the vibe being shut off and the body below her was gasping for breath, bathed in sweat. She looked up at Ashley's flushed face and felt proud and for a moment, powerful. She withdrew her fingers, eliciting a groan of disappointment from Ashley and then shimmied back up the prone body.
"You ok?" she asked quietly. Slowly, Ashley's eyes opened, glazed with pleasure and satisfaction.
"Uh huh," the brunette managed, unable to articulate anything clearer. Spencer took the now idle vibrator from Ashley's sweat slick fingers and smirked at the older girl.
"Was that a 'first'?" she teased. Ashley focused on her again and returned the smile.
"Uh huh," she repeated, her voice hoarse from screaming. Spencer regarded the toy thoughtfully. Arching a pale brow suggestively, she looked back at Ashley.
"I wanna try one more thing," she decided. Without giving Ashley a chance to protest, not that she thought she would, she straddled the smaller body, making sure that their centers were together. They both moaned and hissed at the sensation of those now hypersensitive areas coming into contact. Their hips started moving against each other automatically.
"Christ, Spencer," Ashley moaned. She couldn't believe how fast or often the younger girl could stoke the fire within her, but there was no denying the power of how she felt. She just wished she could say it out loud.
"Wait," Spencer ordered, stilling her movements. She locked eyes with Ashley and moved the dormant toy so that it was the only thing separating their cores. Then, with a less-than-innocent looking smile, Spencer turned the device on.
Ashley moaned and arched upwards into the vibration, her eyes rolling back at the intense pleasure. At the same time, Spencer placed her hands on either side of Ashley's head and pressed downward to achieve more contact. They both began moaning, unable to articulate how they were feeling as their hips moved more and more frantically and hands clawed at hot flesh.
Ashley wrapped a hand in Spencer's sweat slicked hair and yanked her head up, smashing their lips together hungrily. They drank in each others grunts and cries.
Already over stimulated from her previous orgasms, Ashley came quickly, Spencer's name torn from her lips. The erratic jerking of her hips drove the toy against Spencer's throbbing clit, making her scream as she climaxed.
"Spencerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Assssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhleeeeeeeeeeey!"
Spent, they collapsed together. The toy was shut off and returned to its hide away before the girls cuddled together and faded off into an incredibly satisfied sleep.
100
After a somewhat awkward dinner with Spencer's father and brothers later that evening, the girls went to Spencer's room to do their homework while they listened to the stereo. It was one of their rituals since Ashley had moved in and it helped to boost Ashley's grades. It wasn't that Ashley was stupid; she lacked motivation to bother to do her work. She found it humorous if not ironic that of all things to give her motivation it was a girl that succeeded.
Ashley looked up from her homework as her cell phone began to ring from where it was plugged in on Spencer's bedside table. The strange but incredibly catchy theme to 'The Addams Family' was playing as she stared at it.
"Who's that?" Spencer asked as she absently hummed along with the ring tone. She'd never heard that particular ringer on Ashley's phone before. Ashley leaned over her on the bed and picked the phone up.
"My mother," she replied darkly. Spencer dropped her pen and moved to take the phone but Ashley had already flipped it open.
"Ashley!" Spencer hissed worriedly. She had yet to speak but all ready Ashley's complexion was going from pale to downright grey.
"Hullo?" Ashley spoke timidly into the phone. She really hoped it was one of her mother's drunken flings, randomly dialing the phone and not her actual mother. She didn't even want to think about what her mother could possibly have to say to her. At least some random guy calling the numbers in Christine Davies' cell phone probably wouldn't leave her wanting to slash her wrists with a rusty razor blade while she gnawed on broken glass.
"You little fuck," her mother spat. Ashley rolled her eyes. (So much for a wrong number) she sighed.
"Hi, Mom," she said unenthusiastically. Despite the fact that she had no real idea where her mother was and it was only a phone call, Ashley felt her heart start to race and a cold sweat break out on her skin. She was terrified and what was worse was that she knew Spencer could see it.
"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" her mother went on, her voice filled with the all-too familiar rage that Ashley had foolishly hoped to never hear again.
"Find out what?" Ashley asked, genuinely confused. She didn't want to accidentally confess to something her mother in fact did not know about; she'd made that mistake a few too many times during her tumultuous childhood. She felt Spencer wrap her arms around her from behind. It was then that she noticed that she had begun to shake.
"EVERYTHING!" Mrs. Davies screamed. Ashley held the phone away from her ear for a moment to preserve her eardrum. She could just imagine her mother as she began speaking, her face contorted in rage, vodka swirling in a glass in her other hand while she screamed, spittle flying out and smacking into the phone to punctuate her words.
"I know you took all that jewelry! I know you stole from me! Do you think I'm some sort of moron; a fucking brain damaged little reject like you? What the fuck is with my entire staff suddenly quitting, Ashley? Don't think that I don't know that you have something to do with that. You and that little whore of a friend of yours, her family. I am not going to let you and Shakira or whatever the fuck her name is fuck up my life because you're a messed up greedy little shit."
"I only took what was mine," Ashley countered carefully. Despite the distance between the two, she didn't want to set the woman off and risk her suddenly popping up to inflict more pain.
"Fuck you, what's yours!" her mother retaliated. Ashley shivered even harder at the unmistakable fury coming through her phone. The tone being used caused Ashley's chest to constrict and a myriad of images to replay themselves behind her eyes. Flashes of slaps, kicks, punches and worse flew across her minds eye fierce enough to almost make them real enough to feel.
"Hang up the phone," Spencer's voice came from far away, breaking through the intense fear currently gripping her heart in a cold vice. "Hang it up, baby. She can't hurt you."
"Nothing in this house is yours, you little shit!" (Oh god, she's back home!) she realized with a start. Her mother's voice fought against Spencer's to be heard and Ashley felt herself falling inward, away from both influences.
"You are nothing but a worthless, pathetic mistake! You know what? Your father and I would have been better off letting that load slide down his leg! Then we wouldn't have had to put up with you leeching off of us and ruining our lives." Her vision started to narrow, the tell-tale tunnel vision of a panic attack beginning.
"Ashley, give me the phone, honey." Again, Spencer's voice reached her and pulled her back from the edge slightly.
"Did you know that someone sent child services here? They asked me shit about abusing you. ABUSE, Ashley? If it was so fucking bad, why didn't you just leave? Why didn't you just slit your fucking wrists and do us both the favor? I know that was you that called them, Ashley. You or that little cunt friend of yours. Does she know who you really are, Ashley? Does she have any idea the things you've done? I bet she doesn't or else she'd kick you to the curb before you even realized what was happening. She'd leave you sad and alone just like the rest of us have."
Ashley felt a sob bubble up from her chest and fought to hide it. She didn't want to give the woman the satisfaction of knowing that she was succeeding in upsetting her.
"Please, baby, give me the phone or hang it up. You're scaring me…" Ashley had begun to keen low in her throat and Spencer doubted that the older girl even realized that she was doing it. It was a sad, pathetic and frightened sound that Spencer had heard only once before; that night when Ashley's mother had beaten her.
"Is that her I hear with you? Jesus fucking Christ you little bitch! I swear to God, Ashley Nicole Davies, if I find out that you sold me out to the authorities there will be nowhere you can hide and no one that you can go to that will keep me from getting even with you…"
"Ashley, please, you're shaking so bad. Don't let her get to you…"
"You will pay for this, Ashley. All of it…"
Spencer grabbed the phone forcefully from Ashley's numb fingers as her girlfriend turned green and lurched forward, her hand over her mouth. A strange gurgling/gagging sound was rumbling from the back of Ashley's throat as Spencer heard a few of her mother's parting shots.
"…you breathe a word of this to anyone, spread your lies about abuse…you'll only wish you were dead, little girl. I'll start with your father and work my way through everyone in your life and when I'm done, none of them will want a damn thing to do with you. They will know you for the disgusting little whore that you really are…"
Spencer snapped the phone shut with a shudder at the venom coming from the older woman and her vile words. She looked worriedly at the brunette who was curled up into a tiny shivering ball, whimpering softly.
"Ash? Please talk to me, honey," she outright begged. She didn't want Ashley to close in on herself like she had the night of the beating. It had been hours before she'd been able to coax Ashley out from the place she'd hidden inside herself and it had been absolutely heartbreaking. Now, in the course of one day, Ashley had been verbally attacked by Glen and her own mother. Spencer thanked God that her mother Paula hadn't stopped by the house at any point that day to make it a hat-trick.
Ashley slowly crawled over to Spencer and put her head in the blonde's lap, seeking comfort. Spencer took the movement as a good sign and softly ran her hands through Ashley's dark locks, petting her as she hiccupped. It wasn't long before Spencer felt Ashley's hot tears soaking through her pants.
"Aw, Ashley, please don't let her do this," she sighed. "You're away from her; you're safe here."
"I'm never going to be free, Spence," Ashley whispered into the younger girl's thigh where her head was buried. "She's always going to be there…everything is always going to be there…"
Spencer bit her lip, wondering if now was a good time to tell Ashley what she knew. With Mrs. Davies reentering the picture like she was, Spencer knew that Ashley was going to need all the love and support that she could get. At the same time, she didn't want to force Ashley into facing something she wasn't ready for yet. So, despite the fact that what she knew about the truth of Ashley's abuse at the hands of her evil mother, Spencer decided to wait.
She continued to silently stroke Ashley's hair and back as eventually the brunette fell into a fitful slumber against her. That was how Arthur found them later, Spencer stoically comforting Ashley as she slept. He looked in on his daughter and saw the lost look on her face and decided it was time to do something to lift the burden weighing both girls down, at least temporarily.
"Spencer," he whispered from the doorway, his daughter lifting her head to meet his gaze. "Make sure that you and Ashley are awake early tomorrow, ok? We're going on a short trip." He smiled to reassure her and then left the two girls be.