DISCLAIMER: I am making absolutely no profit and somebody has to
give us some BAM damn it. :-)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hate to admit I am responsible for this drivel but here it is .
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
`How stupid can I be?! I can't lose her, too I don't know what to do without her. I need Leo, but I don't have him. I only really have her, but not now. Now, I've messed it up. I pushed her away when I should have pulled her to me.' Bianca runs through the freezing rain toward the boathouse, `She hates me now. I don't blame her. I mean I screamed at her in front of her entire class about oh Fuck what have I done?!' she enters the boathouse soaked through and sits on the bench.
"Oh, Maggie. I'm sorry." She whispers to herself. She shivers in the cold, but doesn't notice, "I didn't mean it and now I've lost you, too."
`Isn't there something you could do?' her mind whispers to her.
"I don't know what. I know I've pushed too far this time." She chokes out.
`If you would only be honest with yourself and her .'
"Yeah, honesty. I know I love her. There honesty." Bianca bites out.
`Yeah, you know, but she doesn't. It might be .'
"I can't. That really could be the last straw." She lowers her head into her hands.
`What else do you have to offer this time? You have apologized enough to make even yourself sick. What else do you have, but your love to offer?'
"N-nothing but she she won't want it not now especially."
`You don't know that, because frankly you are being a coward.'
"I it will only hurt me again."
`She would never hurt you you know that. That's why you are really scared.' Her inner voice accuses.
"I I it's all I have left to give, but what if she doesn't want it?"
`Then, she'll tell you, but quit trying to guess. It is the gesture that will count.'
With one last sigh, Bianca gathers what little courage she has left and walks back out into the freezing rain. She could wait for Maggie at the Inn, but that might be too late. Her heart tells her she needs to do this now. It has to be done immediately and for once her inner voice isn't arguing but agreeing. She trudges along in the rain out to PVU. Maggie has lab now. Bianca knows the building well. She and Maggie have spent many nights doing homework there. She comes up to grassy yard outside the glass windows of the building. She can see Maggie and her classmates performing some kind of task. She stands helpless as the rain pelts down on her. She watches as Maggie turns to her book, but doesn't really seem to be interested in what is happening in her class.
"She isn't paying attention. That's my fault." Bianca chides herself, "I should just go and leave her alone."
`You could do that, but shouldn't you at least try to make it right?'
"I don't know how. I don't want to pull her out of class. I'll just wait. She'll come out when class is over." Bianca stands just watching Maggie through the window as the rain washes over her. She is oblivious to the cold she should be shivering in. Reflexively, her body still shivers; her teeth still chatter, and her skin still chills.
"Maggie?" the other girl in her group ventures.
"Yeah?" Maggie looks back up at her.
"I'm not sure, but I think um isn't that your friend out there in the rain?"
"What?" Maggie asks even though she heard her.
"That woman out there in the rain isn't that your friend that you argued with earlier?" she points out the window.
"Can't be," Maggie slowly turns her head toward the window, "She's smart enough not to be out in the .oh my God, Bean!" Maggie looks out the window seeing Bianca drenched for the first time.
"I told you." The girl stated.
"I um I have to " Maggie stutters grabbing her coat off the chair.
"Yeah go I'll e mail you the notes." The girl offers.
"Thanks." She turns to the door, "My god, Bean you're going to catch cold." She mutters to herself on her way outside.
Maggie hits the exit door and runs out toward Bianca, who by now is off in her own world and hasn't noticed Maggie's absence from the room until the other woman is right in front of her.
"Bianca Montgomery, what in the hell are you doing out here?!?!" Maggie scolds her friend throwing her own dry coat over her, "How long have you been out in this rain?"
"L-long I not s-sure " Bianca stutters.
"That's too long. Come on. We need to get you dry." Maggie starts to lead Bianca toward the building.
"No I have to have to " Bianca stops walking and looks at Maggie, "I don't have anything to off-offer except ." She shivers.
"Bianca, tell me inside come on." Maggie tries to pull her toward the building again.
"NO! I I'm sorry, b-but that is-isn't enough I only have m-myself to .I Maggie, I love you it isn't enough I know but I love you so much " Bianca stammers out as she pulls Maggie to her and lightly attempts to kiss her, but her lips barely make contact because they are shivering so much.
Maggie looks at Bianca and instead of pulling her to the building she walks them out to the street and hails a cab. She places a shivering Bianca into it and climbs in after her. Bianca thinking she has just ruined the last bit of their friendship can feel the hot tears burning her frozen cheeks. Maggie sees the tears and immediately pulls Bianca into a wet embrace. She strokes her hair trying to calm the younger girl.
"Ssshhh don't cry I love you . please don't cry I love you, Bean." She kisses the top of Bianca's head, "You're so cold, Bean "
"I'm sorry, M-Maggie I I didn't know what else ." Bianca breaks off.
Maggie holds the other girl to her as the cab takes them to Myrtle's. Once there, Maggie pays the driver from her own pocket and walks Bianca into the boarding house. Myrtle meets them at the door, but Maggie simply shakes her head at her. Myrtle mouths she will bring up tea soon and Maggie nods.
"Come on, Bean. We have to get you warm." She says as she herself shivers.
She walks them into Bianca's room at the Inn. She sits Bianca on the bed and bends down to take off her friend's shoes. Bianca seems oblivious to this. She sits completely still as Maggie slowly removes all the wet clothing until she has Bianca sitting in her underwear. She then removes her own wet clothing. She stands Bianca up and begins pushing her toward the bathroom where she proceeds to run a warm shower. She practically pushes Bianca into it as she gets in behind the taller girl.
"Bianca, say something please?" she pleads as she runs her hands up and down the taller girl's arms trying to get them warm.
"I why are you here helping me, Maggie " she whispers.
"I love you, bean that's why." Maggie wraps her arms around Bianca.
"I didn't know what else to offer all I have is my my love for you, Maggie " Bianca chokes up.
"That's all I need. Bianca, look at me." Maggie turns Bianca around toward her, "I heard what you said. You told me something special tell me again." She looks straight into Bianca's eyes, "Please?"
"I..I love you with all that I am, Maggie." Bianca breathes out.
"I couldn't ask for anything more. I've just been waiting for you, Bean I didn't want to be wrong and today I thought . I thought you hated me " Maggie's voice breaks.
Bianca doesn't answer. She knows she hurt Maggie today. It's why she had gone back to the school. She lifts Maggie's face up to hers and gently kisses those full lips that have been haunting her dreams for months. This time no chattering gets in the way of their contact and she feels Maggie respond by putting her arms around Bianca pulling her in close. The kiss becomes heated as tongues tangle in first greeting and hands slide over curves causing goose bumps not related to the cold. They break apart needing to breathe.
"Wow." Bianca sighs out.
"Mmmm " Maggie slowly opens her eyes, "I do so love you, Bean."
"Thank you, Maggie thank you " Bianca squeezes her love close to her.
"I think I am warm now, Bean." Maggie chuckles, "Are you any warmer? I was so afraid you were going to pass out on me for a minute there."
"I I am feeling very warm all of the sudden." Bianca giggles, "But I may still pass out if you don't stop touching me there."
"Where?" Maggie lightly squeezes Bianca's butt, "Here?"
"Mmmhmm " Bianca moans as she moves her own hands over Maggie's supple form.
"Why Miss Montgomery I do believe you are taking advantage of me." Maggie almost squeals.
"I do believe you may be right." Bianca leans down capturing Maggie's lips with her own again.
Later in the evening, Myrtle walks up the stairs with a tray of hot tea and muffins. She lightly knocks on the door, but receives no answer. Quietly, she opens the door and moves to set the tray on the receiving table. As she looks to the bed, she sees both girls curled around each other in a loving embrace. She smiles at the happiness on their faces. In her memory, flashes a woman of brunette hair and exquisite beauty and class. She feels the tears come to her eyes as she smiles one last time at the young lovers in dreamland. She cherishes the bit of memory of her arms wrapped around the brunette of her memory as she backs out of the room closing the door. She walks down the hall to her own room. Once inside, she opens a drawer in her dresser and picks up a photograph several years old of her and her brunette lover. She touches the face of the woman she dared to love.
"May they have an easier road then we my love. May they have a happier road. I still love you, Phoebe." Myrtle lies down on the bed with the picture still clutched in her hand and smiles as the memories take her into her sleep.
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