DISCLAIMER: South of Nowhere and its characters are the property of The N network, no infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
WARNING: Really depressing. yeah.
By Aeryn Sun
The light was fading. The dimming sunlight probably wouldn't have bothered her so much if its dying rays weren't being mirrored by the light in her loves eyes. Slowly she watched as the last of her lover's life seeped away from behind the eyes that she'd come to love so much. Eyes that she'd spent hours, days that seemed like a lifetime staring into and losing herself in the fathomless depths she saw there. Endless snapshots of time captured in those stunning orbs.
But now the shining lights that always danced behind those eyes were growing dimmer along with the day. She knew that this night would be her loves last. It didn't seem fair.
"I'm sorry," a gentle voice, weak and trembling broke the sad silence that surrounded them. She looked at the voices owner and managed a small watery smile. She brushed away some hair that had fallen into those beautiful eyes.
"It's not your fault," she responded, meaning every word. Some things were just beyond their control. This, sadly, was one of them.
"I should have fought harder," came the tearful confession. She shook her head.
"You did your best. That's all I ever asked from you."
"I don't want to leave you " the voice was starting to fade more, growing fainter with each word and causing cold, hard pain to seize her heart. It wouldn't be long now, she knew. As hard as her other half had fought, she wasn't strong enough to defeat the illness that had invaded her young body, ravaging it and leaving her barely a shell of the vibrant and unique person she once was.
She squeezed the hand currently resting in her own, the skin cool and stretched tight.
"You're not," she reassured. "You need to rest, now. It's OK." She smiled again to put weight behind her words. The smile was returned with a sad nod.
"I wanted so much with you." Tears now coursed down the fragile face, splashing down cheeks and creating small stains on the dark pillowcase. She crawled up into the bed and wrapped herself around her lover, pulling her close in a futile effort to keep her there even as the last rays of the day disappeared behind the horizon and the spirit inside the weakened body began to drift away,
"And we had it all, baby. I don't regret any of it. You make me so happy." She squeezed tighter as the dying girl's breaths started to slow.
"You make me happy." The response was gasped, the last of the fight leaving the ill girl. Pain, grief, fear, and anger balled up in her throat as the reality of the end slammed home. The unfairness of it all and the time together that they now would never get to share filled her with righteous rage as the body in her arms relaxed. If she could she would gladly trade places with the girl she cradled against her.
"I love you, Ashley."
"I love you too, Spencer."
She put her head on the chest that now barely moved with the shallow breaths that the girl still struggled to take and listened to the faint thumping of the heart beneath her ear.
She stayed there listening.
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