DISCLAIMER: Star Trek is the property of Paramount, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Captain Janeway makes her own first contact with Seven of Nine.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Janeway realised that two sets of eyes had been alerted by her intrusion into their domain, and they were watching her now, as she approached Seven in Astrometrics. Icheb smiled and received a nod from his Captain. The bright boy noticed the older woman look towards Seven and something told him to back away a little and give them some privacy. It wouldn't have mattered in this case, but Janeway was pleased he had taken the initiative.
Almost nervously, which wasn't like her at all, Janeway tilted her head back a little and looked at the blonde. "Seven? My Ready Room. Now."
Seven looked perplexed but said nothing before the boy. Had she done something to upset her Captain? She couldn't recall saying or doing anything that would have resulted in Janeway standing before her now, with this strange expression on her face. "Yes Captain," she replied formally, nodding to Icheb that he was now in control of the lab. as she followed Janeway out of the door.
"I have upset you," stated Seven forlornly, standing with her hands behind her back and looking down at her Superior, who was sitting in her Ready Room chair.
"You have done nothing of the sort. Please, I know you don't like to do this but, it would help me greatly and Seven I really need some help right now if you could sit down?"
"Very well." Seven's eyebrow arched at the strangeness in her Captain's voice. She sat, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Like some beautiful bird, she usually spent her entire life on her feet but, if her Captain had specifically requested this alteration in her stance, then Seven would indeed comply. She sat and waited. And waited, as she viewed her Captain becoming more nervous as the moments moved by. "Captain?"
"Seven, I Oh, I don't know how to say any of this. It all seemed perfectly fine this morning, when I went over it yet again in my head - it made sense I had confidence in it then. But now? Now, I'm not at all sure this is the right thing to be doing."
"Perhaps if you were to elaborate, Captain, I may be able to assist you."
Janeway smiled sadly, getting out of her chair to pace around the room. Somehow, pacing always seemed to help when she was in her thinking/decision mode. "It isn't a matter of assisting me, Seven," the Captain put her right palm up to her forehead and placed her left hand on her hip as she continued to walk around, stopping finally to look at Seven, who was smiling. "What?"
"It amuses me, Captain, that you required me to sit, which is not my usual stance, while you stand and pace." The blonde looked expectantly at the older woman, waiting for her to deliver whatever it was she had stopped pacing long enough to deliver. "Have you decided, Captain?"
"Have I decided what?"
"Upon the correct thing to do?"
Janeway squatted beside Seven's chair as she reached for the young woman's hand and held it gently, thoughtfully, looking at it while she formulated her words. "I have tried for two long years not to say this to you." Janeway's eyes looked up and locked onto pale blue innocent ones. "And I'm not at all sure it's the right time to say it now - but then, when would be?" she mumbled. Blinking and with a slight frown, the Captain stood and drew the tall blonde to the couch under the window and sat her down again, sitting beside her.
"When you were disconnected from the Collective, you were not only confused and angry (Seven blinked at the reminder) but you were also only six years old in terms of your life experience as a human." Janeway had hold of Seven's pale hand once again and was rubbing her thumb over the back of it as she rehearsed the next words in her mind.
"Seven, you are still growing as a person, still learning; about life, people, relationships. Love." She paused as she met Seven's straightforward gaze, thinking: 'she doesn't have a clue what I'm getting at.' Sighing, she continued, "In these past two years I have come to depend on you as an officer, as well as holding you in high regard as a friend. Behind all of that, however, there has been another feeling, one that has been growing steadily until I find I can no longer adequately contain it."
Janeway fell silent, looking back down at Seven's hand and realising that this was proving much harder than she'd expected. But then, what had she expected? Being in love with a woman was uncharted territory for her anyway, but Seven? Practically everything was new to Seven, and Janeway's fear of rejection was at present vying for her fear of making a fool of herself in front of her.
Taking a deep breath, closing her eyes momentarily and lifting her head, Janeway looked back to those pale blue orbs and stared into them for a while. "Do you have any idea what I'm trying to say?" she mused out loud. "Do you have any idea that I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you? And do you even know what 'in love with' means?" Janeway dropped the hand she had been holding and backed away with some dignity, needing to pace again, and needing not to look into eyes that held the potential for so much hurt.
'OK, there's no going back now, Kathy, it's said. You fool, you could lose her altogether. Couldn't you have kept quiet?' These thoughts and others went through her mind as she paced and ended up standing in front of the Ready Room door, with her back to Seven.
"Kathryn?" Janeway shivered. The voice had come from just above and behind her left ear. 'Oh God, she was this close!' Janeway's stomach lurched and her heart raced at the thought of the rejection that may come in the next few moments. A firm hand arrived on her left shoulder and pulled slightly, intending that the shoulder's owner turn around.
Janeway exhaled quickly and then licked her lips, closing her eyes briefly before opening them and turning, but nothing had prepared her for the sight she was about to see - Seven, her Seven, standing in front of her with tears in her human eye and a look of such softness and love on her humble face. "Seven?" Janeway reached her right hand out and touched the pale cheek, looking from eye to eye, amazed by the sight.
"I felt unsure of what it was I was feeling for you," explained the blonde falteringly, as she in turn raised a hand and stroked her Captain's hair. "It was not 'family', and yet it was close; it was something beyond 'friend' I was sure, but I was unable to categorise it. Until now. Thank you for making clear to me, at last, what it is that I am feeling."
"You're not just saying this because you think it's what I want to hear?"
"I am saying it because you have finally given my heart the words to express itself, because I finally know that I can stand before you and state the difference in my feelings towards you, as opposed to the others aboard this vessel." Janeway smiled her crooked smile as Seven continued, "Kathryn, I love you. I know that now, although,"
Worried, Janeway leaned forward slightly and placed her left hand on Seven's upper chest, "What is it?" she asked softly.
"I am unsure how to proceed. I find," Seven faltered, looking down sheepishly, feeling she had let her Captain down somehow.
"Hey," breathed Janeway as she tilted Seven's chin upward and scanned those eyes, "this is new to both of us, understand? I guess we'll just have to work it out together, huh?"
It was the moment, insignificant in amongst the Universe and all its workings but highly significant to two tiny dots aboard a larger dot in one small part of that Universe. Janeway moved closer to the object of her love and tilted her head slightly, moving towards Seven's lips as the blonde understood and leaned in to make contact. First Contact. And it was some time before either of them could even think about the dot (in the Universe) they stood in, much less what their function aboard it might be.
Swimming, somewhere in Janeway's head were the words once spoken to her by Admiral Alynna Nechayev at Starfleet Command: "You never know how it's going to go when you make First Contact. Sometimes, you just have to smile, hold on, and hope for the best."
And right now it seemed the best had materialised.
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