DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls and its characters are the property of Shed Productions. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This starts off @ Chix straight after Nikki's release, and aims to follow them throughout their lives outside of Larkhall. Not sure how long for. Let me know what you guys think.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To debinho23[at]hotmail.co.uk
It seems they had somehow switched positions in the middle of the night, Nikki now has Helen enveloped in her arms. The sun is streaming in through the gaps in the curtains, this is what plays havoc with Nikki's eyes at first, disturbing her from her sleep, then she is stung by the realisation that she has someone in the bed with her.
She panics; her first thought is 'what the hell is Barbara playing at?' Then her eyes catch up with her brain, they open and she jumps up with a start. Looking down she realises its Helen, not Barbara in her arms, she breathes a sigh of relief. This stirs Helen, she slowly opens her eyes, and a smile erupts onto her face when she see's Nikki leaning over her, looking at her with pure love, and certainly looking a lot healthier than she did yesterday.
Nikki can't help herself, if she had the energy she doubted she would have been able to keep her hands to herself last night, she leans down and takes Helen's lips with her own. Helen gratefully accepts and responds.
The fact that both slept naked sparks the passion a lot faster, the towel Nikki had been wrapped in had obviously been disregarded in the night, there was flesh on flesh, they couldn't wait any longer, they had waited long enough already.
Unlike the last time they had spent the night together, there were no time constraints this time, their lovemaking on that occasion had been fast and frantic, the added excitement from the fact that Nikki was essentially on the run had added to the thrill. This time they took the time to explore each other's bodies fully; it was slower, but somehow more passionate, more filled with love.
They had headed to the shower, the plan was to get clean, and then talk, unfortunately Helen had the bright idea that if they showered together, it would be quicker. It was half tongue in cheek. Of course once in the shower, they stayed there, for some time. Not that either of them was complaining. Best morning ever.
They had quickly changed into house clothes, and thrown together some breakfast, and now here they are Nikki at one end of the couch, Helen at the other facing each other, legs entwined, ready to talk. As much as their relationship was filled with love, in the past it's been one that's been filled with pain in equal amounts, both women realise this needs to be worked through, if they stand any long term chance at all.
They are both nervous, and it shows, there is a weird tension in the room, something that certainly wasn't present this morning. Nikki decides to bite the bullet and talk first; it's a question that she's been curious about since Helen showed up at Chix yesterday.
"So what made you come and find me?"
Helen looks away, of course she knew this was coming, and she owes it to Nikki, to be honest.
This makes Nikki flinch, a million thoughts are racing through her mind, the main one being, and that it wasn't Helen's own inclination to come after her. Thomas dumped her and then she came running, Nikki cannot believe this. Helen can tell by the expression on Nikki's face and the fact that she's fidgeting awkwardly that this hasn't gone down well, she is about to start to explain, when Nikki surprises her by speaking first.
"Thomas dumped you?" The bitterness that tinges Nikki's voice, takes Helen by surprise, of course the statement is factually true, but not really and Helen needs to explain, she needs Nikki to let her explain, something which hasn't always been possible in the past, and she's not sure if that was down to Larkhall, or Nikki's stubbornness, she guesses she's about to find out.
"Thomas knew that I didn't love him." No reaction from Nikki. She decides to power through, once again honesty the best policy.
"I was willing to stay with him, and try to make things work, I thought it would be . . ." Helen struggled to find the correct word.
Nikki, who had listened intently so far, her heart stinging, can't help but finish her sentence for her.
"The normal thing to do." The pain in her voice is apparent.
"Yes." Helen is defiant. Determined to be completely truthful. Nikki looks about ready to bolt, Helen needs to reassure her that this gets better.
"Nikki I need you to let me explain, and then if you still want to run away you can." Nikki just nods. Helen takes a deep breath before continuing.
"I was willing to give me and Thomas a go, but my heart was never really in it. He knew that, and thankfully he ended it." Before Nikki can butt in again she quickly continues.
"And I know what you're thinking." She can read her like a book. "If he hadn't have ended it, I'd be with him right now. And you know what you'd be right."
Nikki is grateful Helen is being open with her, but this is possibly a little more honesty than she can handle, Helen can see that's she's hurting, and she hates to do this to her, but if they stand any chance, she knows she has to be completely honest.
"I'd have stayed, and it would probably have lasted a month, maybe two. Because the real truth is, although I was willing to give it a go, I was lying to myself. I tried to convince myself that I wanted him, and I didn't. I never did. And I will be forever grateful to him, for making me realise that I was lying to myself, because if I'd have waited the month or two if would have taken me to realise it myself, I might have found I was too late."
Helen takes a deep breath and looks up into Nikki's eyes, she is met by confusion. Helen takes pity and explains.
"You and Trish."
The penny drops for Nikki. The anger that has been building up inside her subsides. Helen was willing to settle for Thomas; at the same time she had been willing to settle for Trisha, she had been lying to herself as well, believing she could have a life with Trish.
"Thank you for being honest with me." The smile on Nikki's face is genuine, Helen's heart bursts. Nikki continues.
"Fresh start?" She holds her hand out to Helen, who giggles at the gesture, grabs her hand enthusiastically and instead of shaking it, she pulls Nikki towards her, Nikki erupts into a fit of giggles at Helen's action, but allows herself to be pulled onto Helen, and immediately plants her lips onto those of her lover, and through the smiles they kiss, maybe this can work out after all.
They spent the rest of the morning, just relaxing in each other's company; Nikki had become engrossed in the news channels on the TV, whilst Helen had her head stuck in paperwork, researching for one of the job interviews she had lined up.
Nikki has enjoyed doing nothing all morning, something she's not used to, but it's almost as if she's just realised that she now has a life again, she jumps up, startling Helen in the process, and just blurts out;
"I need to sort my life out."
The look of panic on Nikki's face is highly amusing for Helen, but Nikki doesn't appreciate the smirk that appears on hers.
"I'm serious Helen; I need to sort out, driver's licence, bank card, where I'm going to live. . ." Nikki starts hyperventilating slightly, it's at this point Helen realises just how overwhelming all of this is for Nikki. She jumps up off of the settee and starts to rub Nikki's arms in an attempt to calm her down.
"Hey, calm down sweetheart, we can sort all of that this afternoon." She states this in her best most soothing voice.
"We can head into the city, grab some lunch and sort your driver's licence and get a new bank card ordered. I was kinda hoping you would stay here with me, at least until you get sorted."
Helen gives Nikki her best smile. She appreciates her being there for her, its taking some getting used, all this freedom, and access to Helen, and this is only the first full day.
"Well I think we should go and see Trisha at my house before we do anything."
Helen doesn't mean to, but she can't help it, the flash of hurt is on her face before she can stop it, and Nikki doesn't miss it, her turn to be the comforter now.
"Hey, I just mean, cos all my stuff is there, ill need my passport to sort my driver's licence and the bank stuff, and if I'm going to be staying here for a while I'm going to need some more clothes, I don't think I can live out of that plastic bag for any amount of time."
This instantly cheers Helen up, she knows she was being stupid, it's so nice, to have a chance to explain, and not lose their mind to insecurities like they would have in prison.
"Right, well go and get dressed, first stop Trisha's, then lunch in town, I might even take you on the millennium wheel."
Nikki was just heading towards the bedroom, when Helen's last comment stops her in her tracks.
"The millennium what?"
Helen just laughs, "Get dressed Wade."
Helen is really going to enjoy helping integrating Nikki back into society. Her own personal rehabilitation programme.
Helen pulls up outside, what was, well technically still is Nikki and Trisha's home. And if she wasn't so intimidated, she would be suitably impressed, a town house in North Kensington. Nikki and Trisha had bought it before prices in this area rocketed; she guessed it was probably worth in the millions now.
She had always had the power in Larkhall whether she had wanted it or not, Helen hadn't really realised quite how well off Nikki was, she wonders how this will affect the dynamic of their relationship, Helen as much as she didn't like to admit it, doesn't really like being out of control.
She is pulled from her thoughts by Nikki tapping on the car window, and pulling a face that says 'are you coming or what?' this immediately make Helen grin again, she's been doing a lot of that lately. She jumps out of the car and joins Nikki at the front door; it seems strange to her when Nikki just lets herself in, without knocking.
Trisha is pottering around the kitchen when they enter; they had called ahead and told her they were coming round so she was making tea. Trish greets them both warmly.
"You ladies have a good catch up?" She can't help the smirk that plays on her lips. The sheepish look on both Helen and Nikki's faces confirms that of course they did.
Nikki quickly changes the subject. "Did you dig out my passport for me?"
"It's on the counter there, along with all your bank account details, you'll just need to get a new card." She gestures at the bundle of documents on the side.
"Thanks Trish." She kisses her on the cheek, before running out of the kitchen, whilst still talking, "I'm just gunna grab some clothes."
Then there were two, Helen who had followed Nikki with her eyes, turns her attention to Trisha, who gives her a confident smile whilst nursing her newly made cup of tea. Helen becomes very aware that it is now just the two of them. She's a little intimidated, by the home, the grandeur of it, and the fact that it was their relationship home. She feels overwhelmed, and its obvious to Trisha, the evil side of her would love to watch Helen squirm, but she decides for Nikki sake to be nice.
"We only paid three hundred thousand for it you know?"
Helen is genuinely shocked. "For the house? Seriously? It must be worth ten times that now."
"Twenty times." Trisha laughs, and Helen smiles two, feeling a little more relaxed.
"We worked hard for everything we've got, the house the club." The mood turns a little more serious. "She's not some rich kid, who's had it all handed to her. She is the person you met inside."
Helen can't help but really like Trish, and although she feels slightly better she's still freaking out a little.
"What now?" She looks around the beautiful kitchen as she says it; Trisha knows she's referring to everything she and Nikki have together.
"I dunno, half of everything is Nikki's. She can do what she wants with it. I don't know what that means for this house." Trisha feels a little sorrow at this, as much as she loves the house, this was always her and Nikki's home, and now that's firmly over, she really couldn't envisage herself staying here.
Helen has become lost in her own thoughts. Nikki had a whole life before Larkhall, Helen can't believe this is the first time she is realising this. She really has thrown a spanner in the works, not just for Trisha and Nikki's personal relationship, but now they aren't getting back together, they have nine years worth of assets to divide, something that probably won't be easy, legally or emotionally, and she as well as Nikki and Trisha will have to be prepared for this.
Nikki is slightly worried when she returns to the kitchen and greeted by silence, she pops her head round the kitchen door, to find her two favourite women deep in thought, at least they haven't killed each other.
"Is everything okay?"
This pulls the two of them from their thoughts, but neither has really heard the question, so they just stare blankly at Nikki, who burst out laughing, leaving Helen and Trish a little perplexed.
"You ready to go?"
Helen just nods and follows Nikki out of the room; they both give a quick goodbye to Trish and intimate they will be back later to have a more serious chat. Helen can't help but think that this could all get a lot more complicated. Prison certainly had its downsides, but wow was life a lot simpler in there.
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