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Gift or Curse
By Annette


I'm not dead. They thought I was dead and so they found another toy to play with… Jaime Sommers. Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes, doesn't have a clue what to do with her power. I could've killed her on the roof that day, snapped her like a twig if I really wanted to, but I didn't… want to that is. I want to play with their new toy, like a cat with a mouse.

I don't need anyone. Need makes you weak. I used to believe that once, used to feel that love would only slow me down. Then, when my bionics started to fail, I found out just how true that was as I watched my lover kill me. He was only doing his job, we're all just doing our jobs right? Even Sommers. She hates me, not because I killed her boyfriend – no she hates me because I'm making her think. There but for the grace of God, Jaime. She has a sister, cute as a button just like mine was. I'll never forget that look of fear when she came home one night to find me chatting with her. She definitely got the message.

I hurt. I'm sitting here shaking and sweating like some junkie in need of a fix. I'm in this shitty hotel room eating beans out of a can with a spoon and I'm shaking so badly I hardly get any in my mouth. I feel dirty – inside and out – filthy body filthy mind… Where is that bastard Anthros? He promised to make this better, make me better so I can go and get that bitch Sommers and he can figure out why her shit works and mine doesn't.

I'm tired. Tired of all this shit, all these people pushing and pulling and shooting at me. Wanting me dead because of what I am and what I can do. Whose fault is that? Not mine. I'm not the one who replaced my limbs and other organs with bionics. I'm not the one who created little nanomachines to maintain those bionics. No, guess who created those ANTHROcytes. Narcissistic bastard!

I'm scared. Something happened to me – amidst all of the crazy crap that's been going on. I realized that I want more, I want to live a normal life like the one I had before all of this. I want a job and an apartment and a sister – everything I had, everything she has. I should hate her for that but I can't. I've been watching her for so long now and I want more. I want to be a part of her life not just a ghost living on the outskirts. I've been letting her see me and know that I've been watching her. She hasn't tried to stop me or turn me in and I'm hopeful that it means she might let me in.

I feel. She saw me last week and she called out to me. Her sister was staying over a friend's house for the night and Jaime was alone. She came to the window and called me in with some lame excuse about it being cold out. We talked for hours about nothing and everything and realized that we had more than bionics in common. She made me laugh. A real laugh, the kind that makes tears come to your eyes and your ribs ache. I can't remember the last time… actually I can. It was the night of the crash when my sister and me were in the car drinking and having a blast. I haven't laughed since then. I miss laughing.

I hope. Wow, did I actually think that? Who would ever think there was hope for a fucked up, crazy ass bitch like me. It's all her fault. Damn Jaime Sommers. Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes has no idea what power she has. She controls me and she doesn't even know it. I am here because of her. I am with her, by her side and we are going to fight, together. Fight these people who think they own us because they put these machines in us. We found out that the strength we have as individuals is nothing compared to the strength we have together.

I believe. I am Sarah Corvus. I am the first bionic woman. I am not dead but I do need someone. I still hurt sometimes, I get tired and scared, but that just means I feel. But I'm not alone anymore and that gives me hope – she gives me hope. She makes me believe.

The End

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