DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls is the property of Shed productions, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women.
NOTE: This is a revamped version of a story I wrote some time ago and is set toward the end of episode 15, series 3. Special thanks as always to my beta Rebs, cheers.
Helen sat forward in her chair, the steady beat of her fingers drumming against the desktop the only sound in the room. Ever since leaving Nikki's cell she'd been consumed with thoughts of the future and reminiscences about the past. Decisions were re-examined and the true nature of her hopes and desires acknowledged. She'd been a fool; hurting people she loved and closing herself off from those who tried to get close. The only exception had been a man whose very presence promised a return to normality and an end to the burning desires that had shaped the last three years of her life.
Poor Thomas. She was already halfway to ruining his life just as she had Sean and Nikki's before him, and all because she couldn't stay true to what she really wanted. It had to change. She had to change. No more hiding or running from the one thing she really wanted, the one person who made her feel complete. She just hoped she wasn't too late.
Having placed a call through to G-Wing requesting Nikki Wade's presence in her office, Helen sat back and tried to calm her nerves. A pencil found its way into her hand, the implement twirling between her fingers before being clutched tightly in sweaty palms. It was a nervous habit she thought she'd outgrown in college, along with crushes on unattainable men and her one and only shell suit.
A crack filled the air as the pencil splintered under her iron grasp, the noise fuelling her heartbeat and nearly sending her running down to the wing. The only thing that delayed her flight was a brisk knock on the door and Sylvia Hollamby's sudden appearance.
"Wade for you, ma'am," Hollamby grumbled, passing to one side to allow the tall lifer to enter the Governor's office.
Helen sat up straighter and forced herself to dampen down her glee. "Thank you Sylvia. I'll call when you're needed to take her back."
Nikki ignored both women and made herself comfortable in the visitor's chair. Despite her earlier assurance that she wanted only the best for her former lover, even if it did take the form of the prison's newest doctor, Nikki'd had enough of Helen Stewart for one day. Fake smiles and pretend indifference weren't actions she was used to and attempting to maintain them was taking its toll.
Once Bodybag had been dispatched, Helen closed the office door, resting her body against the wood and taking the time to observe the other woman. Nikki looked sullen, the firm set of her jaw testament to the suppressed emotions wracking her body. The soft cheek that she had once dared to touch with such reverence was now pale and unreachable. If she were going to stand any chance of regaining what they'd once had she needed to break through Nikki's walls and convince her of the love she could no longer deny.
With a smile she recalled that first, intimate touch and the way her hand had felt pressed up against Nikki's breast. At the time she'd only registered the shock but thinking of it now Helen could admit the thrill that had past through her at the contact. It wasn't the first time she'd felt something in the other woman's company but the abruptness of the move had compelled her to face it.
Having decided that subtlety was out, Helen took a step closer to the visitor's chair and a still unresponsive Nikki. "Alone at last."
Nikki's head jerked around at the sultry tone, the intimate smile she witnessed seeming out of place in the sterile confines of the prison. "What?" If she hadn't known better Nikki would have interpreted Helen's words and demeanour as seductive. But Helen had Thomas now and anything that could have been between them was nothing more than a memory.
Walking towards the startled and confused prisoner, Helen allowed her smile to become alluring. "I've wanted to get you on your own for hours."
"Oh, I intend to." It was too blatant a chance at double entendre to miss, even if it did make her feel like a member of the 'Carry On' team for saying it. Nikki's double take provided just enough time for Helen to straddle the other woman's lap, her hands resting loosely on broad shoulders. "I've locked the door."
"Shit!" Nikki's breathing became erratic, the blood rushing to infuse her skin with warmth. She knew something was totally out of whack but couldn't work up the motivation to remove Helen from her lap. "Are you on drugs?"
Helen would have smiled at the confusion bathing Nikki's face, but she didn't want to risk breaking the image of seductress she'd been perfecting. Leaning closer, her lips brushed against Nikki's ear, and deposited a tiny kiss against the delicate skin. "Nope," she murmured, a second and third kiss following the word.
"Oh, God!" The feel of lips ghosting against her skin was warring with the reality of their situation and the relationship goodbyes they'd exchanged just that morning. "Is this a dream?"
Helen's hand trailed down Nikki's throat and across the short expanse of exposed chest before the feel of silky smooth skin was interrupted by the coarseness of a cotton shirt. For a moment she allowed her palm to rest snugly against the apex of the shirt, marvelling at the rapid beat of Nikki's heart as it pounded within her chest.
Moments later her fingers had released the first button and snaked under the material to caress the heated skin beneath. Her own heartbeat was as rapid as the one beneath her touch. Helen allowed her hand to explore further, the swell of a generous breast conforming to the contours of her palm. "No dream," she whispered.
Almost without conscious thought Nikki arched her back, pressing further into Helen's touch. A shiver of delight worked its way from her breast to the pit of her stomach before pooling lower. "Twilight Zone?" she managed to croak.
Squeezing gently, Helen abandoned Nikki's breast and allowed her hand to wander lower on the lifer's body. She'd often dreamt of this, alone at night with Nikki miles away and unattainable, but she never imagined she'd actually be doing those things. Or that they were only the beginning of her fantasies featuring the dark-haired woman beneath her. With infinite slowness her hand reached the waistband of Nikki's jeans, the button succumbing quickly to her eager fingers.
"This is real, Nikki." Her hand disappeared beneath the coarse denim of Nikki's jeans before slipping inside the crisp white panties to tease the eager folds beneath. "I promise you."
Helen increased her teasing, the warm wetness that coated her fingertips proof of the effect she had on the woman she loved. Nikki's moan caught her off-guard, sending a powerful surge of arousal through Helen's body. "God! I want you." Shifting slightly she slipped one finger inside Nikki's warmth and began a slow and rhythmic pumping that caused her lover to whimper and arch her back in pleasure. "That's it, sweetheart, come for me." Helen encouraged, a second finger joining the first.
Increasing the rhythm Helen captured Nikki's lips in a bruising kiss, the feel of their tongues entwined pushing Nikki over the edge into release. "Oh Goddddddddddddd!"
Holding Nikki through the last vestiges of orgasm Helen regretfully withdrew her hand, the moan of protest bringing a smile to her lips. It was only the second time they'd been this close and as with the first, she didn't want to let go. There was something so right about being with Nikki, as if sensations she'd spent a lifetime pursuing had consumed her whole.
It was too much. The thought of lost opportunities and wasted time dragged her down into a pit of regret. But it wasn't the time. This was her one chance to win back Nikki's affections and secure a future for them beyond the walls of Larkhall and right now she wanted to keep things light and carefree.
Leaning back slightly, Helen pouted at her lover. "Have you been fooling around with Crystal?"
"What?" Nikki's breathing was still erratic and despite Helen's reassurances she was half convinced this was the mother of all erotic dreams. However, even at her most delusional she couldn't imagine Crystal Gordon featuring in anything with a higher than PG rating. "What's Crystal got to do with anything?"
Ignoring the question for the moment Helen began to undo the remaining buttons on Nikki's shirt. The blue cotton brushed to the side, she allowed her fingers to caress the full breasts encased within the plain white bra. "Well, I don't remember you being so religious the last time we were together." Smiling, Helen released the clasp of Nikki's bra, the material left to pool on the floor with the other remnants deemed unnecessary.
A smile of her own soon appeared and with it Nikki began a slow exploration of the Governor's overly adorned body. "Oh, I saw the light." Reaching the waistband of Helen's trousers she slowly lowered the zipper and let her fingers trace a path towards the junction of Helen's thighs. The heat of desire was like a furnace against her skin, fuelling all the want that had been held at bay for years. "I think you could do with a little religious instruction too, Ms Stewart."
"Then by all means, take me to the promised land, Ms Wade." Helen's giggle was a thing of joy, but as Nikki began to caress her most intimate folds the moan that followed signalled a descent into ecstasy. "Oh, God, Nikkkkiiiiiiii!"
It was Nikki's turn to hold her lover through their body's spasms of pleasure and just as it was for Helen, the significance of that moment weighed heavily upon her. This hadn't just been about sex or the releasing of pent up emotions, something deeper had occurred and even though she still wanted answers, she was willing to keep their exchanges light for the time being. "You were a quick convert, Ms Stewart, Crystal will be pleased."
The two shared a smile before falling into another kiss, their tongues dancing in a velvety caress that inspired further explorations by eager fingers, moans of appreciation reverberating throughout the office. The fevered nature of the kiss began to abate and was replaced by teasing caresses that promised as well as delivered.
Kisses eventually gave way to an embrace as they both took the opportunity to draw comfort from the closeness. The warmth and safety they felt in one another's arms was almost enough to drive all the questions from Nikki's mind, but there were some things she just had to know. "Helen, I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth, but what the hell's come over you?"
Helen didn't want to ruin the moment and despite their closeness of moments before she was afraid of being rejected. "What?"
"What?" Letting her hands drop from around Helen's waist, Nikki tried to refasten her shirt, somehow hoping the cloth barrier would in some way protect her from the pain she feared was to come. "This morning I find out you're shagging the new doctor, now you're all over me like a rash. What gives?"
Helen stilled her lover's hands, a blush infusing her cheeks as she buried her head in the crook of Nikki's shoulder. She didn't know how to explain a lifetime of doubt and bad decisions without scaring off the one person she was determined to keep in her life. "Would you believe me if I said I was taken over by aliens?"
"Fuck!" Nikki tried to stand but the body pressed against her made it impossible. "So you're saying all this was because you were what? Possessed?" Nikki felt the anger of shame and betrayal begin to eat at her insides, as her perfect dream turned into a nightmare. "Shit, Helen, couldn't you just admit you were horny or something, instead of giving me this bullshit?"
"I wasn't talking about us," Helen pleaded, the hurt look on Nikki's face like a knife in the heart. "I meant Thomas. He was just a mistake, like every moment since the last time I was in your arms. I'm sorry, Nikki, I behaved like a total bitch."
Relenting slightly Nikki allowed herself to be pulled into another hug but avoided the kiss that would have followed. "Yeah, you have been." She waited a beat, but the dejected look on Helen's face soon proved too much and she deposited a chaste kiss on her lover's trembling lips. "Fortunately for you, I'm the forgiving type."
"Oh Nikki." More kisses were exchanged as Helen tried to make up for all the pain she had caused, even as she acknowledged that it would take a lifetime to accomplish. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"I know you will," Nikki agreed. "Starting with that smarmy doctor of yours."
"Thomas? What about him?" Having been released from the almost supernatural spell the scruffy doctor had cast upon her, Helen wanted nothing more to do with him. It wasn't that he was a bad man, he just wasn't Nikki, and besides all that he had the eating habits of a rabid dog. "I phoned him this afternoon and told him we were finished."
"That's a start." Nikki let her fingers play for a while under the once starched material of Helen's shirt. "But how about suggesting he become Bodybag's personal physician? If that doesn't deflate his libido, nothing will."
The sensation of fingers brushing against her nipple were making it nearly impossible for Helen to think, but whether through instinct or agreement she managed to nod her head vigorously at the suggestion. Unfortunately, as if the mere mention of her name was enough to summon her from the pits of hell, Bodybag's voice floated to them from the other side of the doorway.
"Shit!" Scrambling to their feet both women began to frantically rearrange their clothing, any attempt at cooling down their overheated cheeks abandoned as futile. Their efforts produced mixed results. They both looked as if they'd just finished a marathon and Nikki couldn't find her bra anywhere.
By the time Sylvia knocked on the door Helen had managed to release the lock and retake her seat behind the desk.
Poking her head in the door, Sylvia stared daggers at Nikki before turning a look of near equal disdain on Helen. "It's lock up in ten minutes, ma'am. I need to get Wade back to her cell."
"Of course." Standing, Helen walked around her desk to shake Nikki's hand, their closeness providing the perfect opportunity to slip the bra she'd found in her shoe, into her lover's pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nikki, to go over your appeal."
"Yes Miss." Nikki agreed sullenly, before winking at Helen over Bodybag's head. Today wasn't turning out to be such a bad day after all.
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