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A Halloween Tale
Exiting the elevator, I stride toward my office only to find myself caught in some kind of trap. I quickly put up my hand to try to free myself from the stringy substance, and finally, I'm able to advance a few steps in the right direction as I mutter under my breath.
"I fucking hate Halloween and all these damn decorations. Doesn't everyone realize this is a law office and not some bar hoping to lure patrons to their establishments by sponsoring some stupid costume contest? Hell will freeze over before I'd ever dress up and mingle with a bunch of losers."
I eventually make it into my office while continuing to brush the remaining white fuzz off my black suit. Good thing I'm not in court this afternoon because I don't think a lint brush would come close to removing half of the decoration remnants.
"Hey, Tracey. Did you see all the neat decorations? Sally and Joan came in an hour early this morning to put them up. I bet our floor wins first place this year for the best Halloween decorations," Kelly cheerfully states as she walks in and closes the door behind her.
I respond with a growl as I motion to my once lint-free suit.
"Oh, what happened? You look like you've walked through a cotton field," my concerned lover points out as she moves toward me.
"I'll tell you what happened. Sally and Joan happened. They strung one of their decorations right around the corner from my office. I ran into it and had a hell of a time getting free," I grumpily explain.
"Tracey, please tell me you didn't destroy the spider web. It was the centerpiece of all the other decorations," Kelly pleads.
"Hell yes, I knocked the damn thing down. It was practically in the middle of the hallway. I got stuck in it and had to get out. If Sally and Joan didn't want anyone to touch it, they never should have put it in a heavy traffic area," I answer in a defensive tone.
"Tracey, your office is the only office on this end of the hall. It's not a heavy traffic area. You and I are the only two people who walk this way except for Sally and Joan, and we've been very careful to avoid the web today," Kelly explains with her hands on her hips.
"Well, it was in my way," is my brilliant reply.
Kelly stares at me for several minutes before turning and walking out the door. The fact that she slammed it behind her gives me reason to believe that she may be pissed at me.
Having faith in my ability to smooth things over later, I sit down at my desk and begin to review the files for tomorrow's case. I'll just take her out somewhere after work and everything will be just fine.
I lose track of time as I plan and strategize for my opening statement, and I don't even realize that Kelly has never returned until I look up to run my ideas past her. Where the hell is she?
Walking to my door, I open it and peer down the hall. Both Sally and Joan appear to be gone for the day since their desks are cleaned off and both computers are covered. I guess they got mad and took off early.
I decide to call it a day myself so I return to my office for my briefcase and purse. Glancing at the clock on my way out, I'm shocked to discover it's already seven p.m. I can't believe I was so involved in my work that I had no idea of the time.
Smiling, I realize that Kelly is the one who always keeps me on track and lets me know when I've been working too long. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Several minutes later, the realization that Kelly more than likely left with Sally and Joan leaves me with more than a few regrets about the way I acted today. I know how much Kelly loves holidays, but I had to go and poopoo on her excitement. I think I have some major groveling to do when I get home.
I arrive at our apartment an hour later with an extra special peace offering. I stopped off at the local pizza parlor and picked up Kelly's favorite, Luigi's five flavored toppings. Maybe this will at least get me in the bedroom tonight instead of having to sleep on the couch.
Opening the door, I walk into a dark apartment. What the hell? Why are all the lights off?
I flip the switch inside the door to illuminate the hallway, and I continue to turn on lights as I move further into the apartment looking for my lover. After checking every room except ours, I come up empty handed so I head for the master bedroom where I find the nightstand lamp on and a note on my pillow.
'Tracey, I had hoped to surprise you tonight by taking you to the Clubhouse's costume contest, but I now know that you would probably rather sleep with Branch than dress up and go with me. I am returning your Xena costume on my way to the club. Don't wait up for me as I will be going home with Sally and Joan. I'll see you tomorrow in the office, Kelly.'
Well, shit. I've really done it this time. Maybe there's time for me to change into my costume and meet her there.
Great idea Tracey, but what costume? You could have been the Warrior Princess, but nooo. . . you had to be a bitch about the Halloween decorations.
Grabbing the phone book, I start my search for Halloween costume shops.
I finally find one still open and remember to ask if they have a changing room since it's on the way to the bar. A yes reply has me running out the door of our building to hail a taxi. I can't believe I'm going to dress up and to go a costume contest; hell must be well on its way to freezing by now.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I say to the sales clerk when he shows me the two remaining costumes he has in his shop.
"Sorry lady, but these are the only thing I have left. You're lucky I have anything at all this late in the evening," the arrogant bastard replies.
Glancing back and forth at what are probably the worst costumes in history, I grab the lesser of the two evils and head for the dressing room.
I toss the rental fee at the laughing man on my way back to my waiting taxi.
My large purse definitely doesn't go with my outfit, but that's too damn bad. I want my clothes with me in case Kelly won't forgive me of my transgressions because there's no way I'm going home dragging my tail between my legs with this getup on.
I immediately spy Kelly and friends at a corner table so I make my way over to commence eating crow which is going to be pretty damn appropriate since I look like Elly Fucking-May Clampett.
It's apparent that Sally is the first to spy me since she proceeds to spew her drink all over an unsuspecting Joan. When Joan protests, Sally merely points in my direction, and all eyes immediately turn to me, including those of my lover.
My two assistants immediately double over in laughter, but Kelly stands and walks toward me with a confused expression.
"Tracey? What are you doing here?" The Gabrielle look-alike asks.
"Well, I heard there was this little costume party going on over here, and I just couldn't miss the opportunity to dress in my fancy farmer's daughter digs," I answer in complete seriousness.
Kelly responds with both a smile and a hug. Hot damn, I finally got something right today.
Minutes later, a slow song begins to play, and Kelly pulls away to ask me to dance.
"I don't know, Ms. Kelly. I only know how to hoedown," I reply with a grin.
"Why don't you let me teach you?" My beautiful lover asks.
I reply by handing Joan my purse as I hold out my hand to the Amazon queen.
Together, we walk to the dance floor and begin to sway to the music as we hold each other near.
"Tracey, I really wanted you to be my Xena, but I have to admit you look hot in these clothes. I can't wait to get you home," Kelly whispers in my ear.
Pulling her close, I say a prayer of thanks that I did indeed choose the right outfit.
I don't think I would have gotten the same result if I had come dressed as a bright yellow bumblebee.
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