DISCLAIMER: the characters don't belong to me, but to Shed. I'm just borrowing them for a while. After I'm done toying with them, I'll give them back in one piece, I promise *evil laugh* Please don't sue, all I have left in my wallet is a couple of Euro' s. Not worth the hassle.
SEQUEL: the story is going to be part of a series of one off sequels to Someone to Watch Over Me.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Haunting Memories VIII
By Piranha
Happy together – The Turtles.
Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night
Its only right to think about the girl you love
and hold her tight so happy together
If I should call you up, invest a dime
and you'd say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world would be
so very fine, so happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
When youre with me, baby the skies will be blue
for all my life
Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
so happy together
If I should call you up, invest a dime
and you'd say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world would be
so very fine, so happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
When youre with me, baby the skies will be blue
for all my life
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
When youre with me, baby the skies will be blue
for all my life
Call you up, ease my mind, ease my mind
EASE MY MIND
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies will be blue
for all my life
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
When youre with me, baby the skies will be blue
for all my life..
They walked through the park in total silence, both using the time to absorb the enormity of Alice's gift and to gather their thoughts about the underlying consequences, holding on toe ach other's hand as i fit were a steadying anchor. After a while, Nikki pointed to a wooden bench, half hidden behind an overgrown shrub. Realising it would give them the privacy they needed for such a delicate and sensitive topic, Helen nodded and together they slowly made their way over. Carefully checking the bench for bird droppings – she was wearing a white linen skirt after all – Helen sank down, never releasing Nikki's hand from her loving grip.
Neither of them really knew how to start so they simply sat there for a while, staring into the distance, both smiling as they watched a little boy laughing merrily as he fed the ducklings quacking all around him. As the young boy was led away by the hand by his mother, Nikki turned to face Helen and said, her voice rather soft and croaking with emotion: "I know we need to talk this through, but I don't really know where or how to start. Never in a million years did I expect this to happen. I thought Alice would give me her music collection or a vase or something, you know… something to remember her by, but not this. I had never expected this. I knew that she didn't really have any family left, bar a couple of geriatric nieces she despised and hadn't talked to in years. They looked down on her for some reason, she never did say why. But to give the three of us everything? I never expected that to happen, it's so surreal…. Like a dream I'll wake up from any minute."
"I know what you mean," Helen said rather solemnly, still staring into the distance. Then she turned around to look at Nikki and continued: "but you're right, we need to talk about this, especially before we meet up with Trisha. We need to make our mind up about what we're going to do." When Nikki nodded, lighting a cigarette as some sort of diversion, Helen took a shaky breath before continuing rather anxiously: "when we decided to start up a new business together, I felt really uncomfortable with you bringing in all the capital and taking all the financial risks. Though nothing can be done about that, short of me pulling the bank heist of the century or winning the Euro lottery, neither very likely to happen I admit, I'd like us to be equal partners when it comes to our home. Ever since your little confession in the warehouse about children and homes, I've given this a lot of thought and I realised that you were right.
At the moment we're living in my flat and though it's big enough for the two of us, it's not really an ideal place to raise children, we'd be simply too cramped. Sardines pressed into a small tin can springs to mind actually. I agree with you: if we move, we should buy a house like Alice's or the one you used to share with Trisha …… and now we can. I know that the timing is way off, we're in the middle of starting up a new business and really shouldn't take on another financial risk, but Alice's gesture is an ideal opportunity for us. We can buy our dream house at only one third of the price. If we let this slip us by, we'd regret it for the rest of our lives. It would take us ages to afford another house like that. Just think about it….. we'd have a huge garden, a house we already know from top to bottom, a house that's big enough to raise a couple of kids in, we'd be in walking distance of the bookshop and it's a really nice, quiet neighbourhood. I think we should buy Alice's house, what do you reckon?"
Her eyes wide with shock and surprise at Helen's proposal, Nikki hadn't even thought that far ahead, she needed a few minutes to think it through. Mulling it over, both considering the strong and weak points of Helen's plan, she replied: "I love Alice's house and your plan sounds wonderful in theory, but are you really sure? We're strapped for cash as it is and then to go and buy a new house, even if it's only at a third of the cost …. Well, it seems so out of character for you. You're so principled and financially conservative otherwise …" When she saw Helen scrunch her eyebrows at that, she quickly added: "not that there's something wrong with that, on the contrary even…, but you have to admit that buying a house totally out of the blue is totally uncharacteristic for you. Besides, it's not as straight forward as you make it out to be.
One, we'd still need to raise a lot of money. I know we'd only need about one third and I'm sure that Trisha would be willing to cut us some kind of deal, but there's also the inheritance taxes and the renovation costs to consider. Generally speaking the house is in good shape, but the kitchen is rather small, the bathroom's a bit too outdated for my taste and the floor in the hallway is really worn out. We'd have to rip the whole lot out, knock down a wall and then build a little extension in the garden. I know that sounds more work than it actually is, but we'd need to fork out a lot of money to do all that. Two, what would you do with your flat? I suppose you could always rent it out like I do. The rent money would take care of the mortgage and you'd always have something to fall back on. Your flat is not a problem as such, but it's still a factor we need to consider in our decision.
Three, is it really financially wise for us to buy a house now? I know I'm always saying that you have to take a leap of faith every now and again, just go on your instincts and do something wild and outrageous, but … you're taking my advice to the extreme. I mean, we're in the middle of starting up a business and though we already have some money coming in with the loft apartments, is it really wise to take on another challenge so soon? Shouldn't we wait a bit longer, just until we have a clearer view of our finances? Four, we'd be shacking up right next to my ex. I don't really have a problem with that, but can you say the same thing? I mean…. I know that I wouldn't particularly like living next door to Sean or Thomas. So you see, there are still a lot of hurdles to be crossed before we can even consider buying Alice's house."
"But you're not radically opposed to the idea?" Helen asked.
"No, not at all," Nikki replied, "I'd love to live there. We just need to think this though thoroughly."
"Well, in that case, I guess we'd better work on overcoming those obstacles. How about we run the idea past Trisha to see what she thinks?" Helen suggested. "I mean, she's good with figures, she'd be able to work out if we can afford the house."
"Yeah, that's a good idea," Nikki agreed, "anyway, I guess we'd better head home now. Sleeping beauty should be up and about by now, probably suffering from the hangover from hell. I don't think we should leave her on her own for too long the emotional state she was in. She might do something she'll regret later."
"Yeah, you're probably right. We'd better go talk some sense in her. Knowing Claire the way I do, she'd only use the ostrich approach to her problems or even worse, think hair of the dog is the perfect solution," Helen replied.
Blinking a couple of times, Helen lazily opened her eyes, squinting against the unrelenting brightness of the rising summer sun. Yawning widely, she stretched out with feline grace, chasing away the last remnants of sleep before looking at the alarm clock. Immensely pleased to know she didn't need to get up just yet, she turned to her side, a smile curling around her lips. Nikki was still in deep slumber, so Helen took this rare opportunity to study her lover unabashedly. She always looked so serene and angelic when sleeping, younger even as the day to day worries were temporarily tucked away.
Nikki was laying on her stomach, her head turned Helen's way and one hand hidden deeply under her pillow. Her hair stood up in every possible direction and Helen gently smoothed it down, careful not to wake her up. Softly playing with the wisps at the back of Nikki's neck, Helen looked at her smilingly. Nikki's eyelids were moving rapidly and Helen wandered what she was dreaming about? The light smile tugging at her lips gave her a pretty good idea though. If her eyes were open, Helen would know in a flash; Nikki's eyes truly were the windows to her soul, they were so expressive that Helen always knew exactly what Nikki was thinking. They didn't need words, they could have whole conversations by merely looking at each other.
The weather hot and humid, the sheet had somehow migrated to the foot of the bed during the night, leaving Helen an unrestricted view of her lover's naked form. Her glance travelled to Nikki's back and she softly trailed her fingertips over it, watching goose bumps appear under her feather light touch. Nikki's skin was so soft and warm, still scenting of the Armani shower gel she loved so much. Her fingers lingering on Nikki's lower back, she realised once more how beautiful Nikki truly was, full breasts and a well rounded arse, making her all woman, but at the same time she exuded raw power and strength. Her fingertips slowly made their way up over Nikki's back, lingering over her shoulder blade for a moment before trailing down over her arm and coming to rest on Nikki's hand. Softly she caressed Nikki's long fingers, amazed once more that Nikki's hand could be steady and sure while working in the garden, but trembling as they caressed her.
She was brought out of her daydreaming gaze when Nikki muttered something incomprehensible before opening her eyes. Blinking a couple of times, her eyes finally focused on Helen and she immediately began to smile. "Good morning," she whispered throatily before turning on her side, putting a steadying hand on Helen's hips before starting to rub it tenderly. Staring at Helen's eyes, hypnotised by the shiny flecks of green and overwhelmed by the pure unadulterated love she found in them, her breath hitched. Emotionally she whispered: "I love you Helen, you're my life."
Helen brought a slightly trembling hand to Nikki's face, brushing her fingertips over Nikki's lips and tenderly wiping away the lone tear of happiness that trickled down. Holding Nikki's face in a gentle embrace, she tenderly placed light butterfly kisses on her forehead, her eyelids and finally her lips, all the while treading her other hand through Nikki's hair. Smiling brightly as she noticed Nikki's slightly dreamy expression, she parted the full lips and tentatively sought entrance with her tongue, probing gently at first. Soon she became bolder though, her tongue stroking against Helen's, reaching in further and deeper. When Nikki replied with a thrusting search of her own, moaning loudly, Helen rejoiced in the naked power she had over Nikki by merely kissing her. Igniting the fire within with languorous, passionate strokes, she crept closer, her hand wandering over Nikki's sensitive back. Slowly releasing Nikki's lips, she looked her straight in the eye and murmured: "you'll never be without me darling, you own my heart and soul. I'm yours forever."
Nikki's heart contracted at the softly whispered words and deep within, the slow burning fire turned into a blazing inferno. She wanted, no needed Helen now. Bringing her hands to Helen's shoulders, she pushed her onto her back and rolled on top of her in one smooth motion. Pressing her thigh between Helen's, she pinned her to the bed, holding Helen's wrists together above her head with just one hand. She looked at Helen with a ferocious smile on her face, but her breath hitched at the sight of Helen's lips, swollen by desire and kisses. Helen's eyes, darkened by barely concealed lust, were her undoing and moaning Nikki brought her head back down. This time the kisses were harder, more demanding. Helen's hips started rocking, her excitement coating Nikki's thigh. She closed her eyes as soft lips engulfed her, she was floating on a current, fuelled by exquisite desire almost unbearable in it's intensity. "God Nikki," Helen gasped, "make love to me, make me come."
Smiling devilishly, Nikki let go of Helen's wrists and commanded "lift up" as she whipped off Helen's nightshirt. Tossing it somewhere over her shoulder, she brought her hands down on Helen's breasts, eliciting a sharp moan out of Helen's mouth. Catching the tightening nipples between her fingers, she twisted them lightly as her palms cupped the firm flesh. Massaging and squeezing, tugging and teasing until Helen groaned loudly and pushed Nikki's head closer. Smiling softly at the none too subtle command, Nook took a tender nipple between her lips. She didn't stop, alternating between sucking and biting until Helen let out a strangled moan. Scooting lower, she kissed and licked her way down, taking an animalistic pleasure in watching the muscles tighten and quiver under her touch.
When Helen let out a strangled 'please', Nikki drew her fingers along a quivering belly, on an ever so slow journey southwards. Moaning Helen raised off the mattress as Nikki's fingers raked the length of her abdomen. She was desperate to be touched, wild for more contact. Her eyes ravenous, Nikki grinned and lightly touched the inside of Helen's thigh, making her tremble and groan. Helen parted her thighs, open, defenceless and so willing to be possessed and grasped Nikki's hand. "Please, don't tease," she begged, her breath an erratic gasp, her hips thrusting upwards. Nikki heard nothing but Helen's whispered plea, wanted nothing but to be inside of her, to lose herself in the warmth, the wetness and the glory of Helen.
Closing her eyes, she pressed her face tightly to Helen's neck and buried two fingers deep inside her, thrusting rhythmically in and out. Feeling Helen shudder beneath her, sensing the contractions inside, she kissed Helen's soft lips reverently, her fingers feeling each delicate pulsation. Body bow string taut, Helen's eyes flickered open. They were all pupil, deep caverns of pleasure. Her moan dampened by Nikki's mouth, she clawed all over Nikki's back as the mad rush of desire coursed through her. When she finally came to, Nikki was softly caressing her hair. She had no idea how much time had passed as she lay still gasping. Pushing herself upwards, she placed a soft kiss on Nikki's lips and murmured: "you're amazing".
"So are you," Nikki smiled. "How about we take a long, hot bath together? I think we both earned it."
"Deal," Helen grinned, "besides, it's my very last chance to have my wicked way with you in that bathroom, I'd better make most of it."
Taping another cardboard box shut before writing 'kitchen' on it in big, bold letters with a black marker, Helen sighed with relief as she realised her work here was done. Looking around her now very bare kitchen, tapping off her mental list for the very last time, she smiled with satisfaction before grabbing a coke. Sitting down on the window sill – all the furniture was stored in the living room to make it easier on the movers – she took a big sip, grateful for a five minute reprieve amidst all the madness. She had mixed feelings of loss and exhilaration about the move. In a way she felt sad to say goodbye to her house. It had been her home for so many years, it truly was the end of an era. The flat had been her shelter and sanctuary for many years, the only thing she could count on to remain the same even though she herself changed so much. It was her safe harbour in times of inner turmoil and now she was leaving it all behind.
At the same time she was really looking forward to carving out a while new life with Nikki. They'd really start afresh, a new house, a new business, their own little family in time…. A whole new way of living. She'd start with a clean slate and still get everything she ever dreamed off: a family, love and stability. Though it might sound mundane, especially for someone as career minded as she had been, – she couldn't deny being a workaholic in the past, though she had working on Nikki's appeal as a convenient excuse for that – it was all she had ever wanted. She was turning over a new leaf. Though she'd had some good times in her flat, she knew that they'd pale in comparison to what she'd share with Nikki. It was also the reason why she had made the resolute and rather radical decision of selling her flat rather than renting it out. She wanted to sever all ties to her past. She wanted to quell the lingering doubts Nikki might still have and prove to her once and for all that she was a hundred percent committed to their relationship. If selling her flat still didn't convince Nikki, she had another trick up her sleeve.
Rolling her eyes dramatically as she heard Nikki curse loudly in the bedroom – she had told her time and time again that she should leave the dismantling of the bed to the movers, but Nikki's pride wouldn't have any of it and she had gone all macho on Helen, telling her that she'd take care of it in no time – Helen thought back to the last couple of weeks. To say it was fast paced would be the understatement of the century. Time had literally flown by, dazzling Helen with the break neck speed of it all, leaving her bewildered and gasping for breath at times. She wouldn't have missed it for the world though, she had to admit that the adrenaline rush was rather addictive. Now she could call herself the proud co-owner of a beautiful Victorian home and a bookshop about to open, something even her wildest dreams couldn't have predicted when she had laid eyes on Nikki back in Larkhall.
They had talked about it at length, not only with each other, but also with Claire and Trisha. In the end they had decided to push through with Helen's idea of buying Alice's house. As soon as Trisha had learned that they had their hearts set on the house, she had done everything in her power to help them out: speeding up the paperwork, chasing after permits, performing miracles with her calculator to balance their budget, auctioning off Alice's furniture, …. She had even helped Helen out with the sale of her flat. The woman truly had the gift of the gab, there was no doubt in Helen's mind that Trisha couldn't sweet talk an Eskimo into buying an expensive fridge.
While Nikki took care of the warehouse renovations and the interviews with potential shop keepers, Helen and Trisha had concentrated on the house, haggling with workmen over prices, spurring them on with barely concealed threats of bodily harm and expensive late fines and even helping them out on occasion. They had gone furniture shopping, Trisha's secret hobby, and had even rolled up their sleeves to put the finishing touches to the house, laughing and singing along with the radio as they wielded their paint brush. Despite a minor accident with a sanding machine, resulting in a hasty trip to A&E while Trisha bled all over Helen's car, they'd had a blast together, both women finally realising just what it was that Nikki saw in the other.
Nikki had been wonderful throughout, taking care of all the shops during the day, helping them out at the house during the evening (though she was practically useless when it came to DIY) and massaging Helen's aching limbs at night. Little things like drawing her a hot bath or making them all dinner made Helen love Nikki even more, she was simply wonderful and now they were finally moving in with each other. Helen knew that had lived together in her flat, but it wasn't really the same.
She knew deep down that Nikki had felt nothing more than a guest in her house. They couldn't really call it their home as it had been Helen's to begin with. But now they'd start a whole new life together and Helen wanted so many things for Nikki. She wanted to paint their days golden with sunlight, she wanted their nights filled with love and passion. She really needed a lifetime with Nikki, just to show her how much she loved and adored her. In the solitude of the kitchen, packing all the utensils, she had found the perfect way to do that too.
Looking at her watch – the big clock on the wall was already packed in one of the many boxes now adorning the hallway – Helen realised that she had to get ready for her lunch date with Claire. Throwing the empty can in the bin bag, she walked to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, content to just watch Nikki for a moment. She looked so adorable crouched on the floor in her cut off jeans and tiny t-shirt, a worried frown in her face as she tried to work out the best way to dismantle the bed. "Hey," Helen said rather huskily as she entered the bedroom and sat down on one of the many boxes. "The bed still giving you trouble?"
"Yeah," Nikki sighed dejectedly, "the bed is conspiring against me I think, the bolts seem cemented shut. I'll have to leave it to the professionals after all." Throwing the screwdriver back into the toolbox with a decided clunk as she got up, she raked her fingers through her already unruly hair and sank down next to Helen. Shooting the bed one final disgusted look, she took Helen's hand into her own and leaned back against the wall with a satisfied sigh. The cardboard box bending dangerously under the additional weight, they sagged against each other as Helen let out a startled shriek. Smiling brightly as Helen clutched her hand even tighter, Nikki closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the simplicity of their closeness. She could hardly believe it, but they reached another milestone today, they were finally moving into their very own home.
It wasn't that she disliked living in Helen's flat, to Nikki her home was with Helen, whether they were living in a luxurious penthouse flat or a small, leaky caravan, but still…. A little voice inside her head kept nagging, kept telling her that she was at a severe disadvantage living in Helen's flat. It was her home, but at the same time it wasn't. She'd never be an equal there, simply because it wasn't their flat to begin with. She hadn't helped paint the walls, she hadn't helped choose the furniture and she could never compete with the good memories Helen had of the flat. Though it might seem petty and irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things – they were together after all, they had beaten all the odds – it still bugged her.
She knew she should be grateful just for the chance to spend the rest of her life with the woman of her dreams, not many people had that, but she couldn't help it. Besides, every time she thought of Thomas or Sean being in this flat, a hot surge of jealousy shot through her, though she'd never admit that to Helen. She couldn't get over the fact that they had slept in the same bed or sat at the same kitchen table. She trusted Helen, she knew Helen was fully committed to their relationship, it was just hard letting go of haunting ghosts of the past. Now she wouldn't have to worry anymore, they'd start from scratch together. The thought bringing a bright smile to her face, she was brought out of her reverie when Helen patted her thigh.
"Don't worry about it, I still love you," Helen smirked, "even though you're a total klutz at DIY." Nikki shot her a poisonous look, meant to be intimidating and threatening, but failing miserably as a sheepish grin tugged at her lips. Stick her tongue out with childlike glee in response, Helen continued: "Claire called earlier this morning while you were dropping off another load of boxes at the house. Her car wouldn't start so she had to take the tube to work. She asked if I could go and pick her up in the City. I thought I could shout her lunch before we both head over to the house to unpack. You know…. A little time on our own so we can talk, I want to know how she's coping with the break up. You don't mind, do you?"
"No, not at all, go right ahead. There's nothing much left to do here anyway and the movers don't get here until two. I'll just help them load everything up and then hitch a ride to the house with them," Nikki replied, still toying with Helen's fingers. "Besides, shouting Claire lunch is the least we can do. Not only can you catch up with her, it'll guilt trip her into working harder this afternoon. You know we need all the help we can get to get the house somewhat represent able by tonight. I'm just glad Claire, Trisha and Tracy volunteered for slave duty."
"You plan on working them hard then?" Helen asked.
"What? Miss the chance of a lawyer breaking a sweat? Are you kidding?" Nikki jested. "All kidding aside, I'm glad most of the stuff 's already at the house. After the movers put the furniture where we want it, we just need to unpack a zillion boxes. It'll go much faster now there's five of us. Anyway, I guess you'd better get going, you don't want to get caught up in lunchtime traffic. Have fun with Claire."
"I intend to, I need her help with something," Helen answered enigmatically, jumping off the cardboard box and giving Nikki a goodbye kiss. Before Nikki could ask more however, she had disappeared out of the bedroom. Hearing the front door close shut a moment later, Nikki shrugged. She'd find out sooner or later anyway. Deciding she couldn't let a stupid bed get the better of her, she got up. Mentally planning a new strategy, she squatted down beside the bed and attempted to get the bolts out once again. Five minutes later she threw the screwdriver down in dismay and after giving the bed a kick, hurting her big toe in the process, she stalked out of the bedroom, in dire need of a nicotine fix. Searching for her lighter, realising it was probably packed in one of the boxes, she settled for an old, mouldy box of matches she had found in the shed in the end. Sinking down on the back porch, enjoying the warm rays of sunlight, she lit her cigarette and took a satisfying drag. Her fag was only half up when the doorbell startled her. Knowing it couldn't be the movers yet, she got up and opened the door, hardly able to contain her shock at the surprise visitor.
The End