DISCLAIMER: I don't own Scrubs or any of the characters, nor do I endorse choking people.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
You know, I've always sort of thought of Stick as being all skin and boneshence the nicknamebut it's possible that I underestimated her, Jordan thought as she watched Elliot rub at the coffee stain on the chest pocket of her scrubs. "She has nice breasts," she admitted.
Carla, who was also watching the scene with bemused interest, interjected: "They're real."
Jordan smirked. "Yeah, right." No one gets a rack like that without paying good money for it. And I would know
"No, they are," JD agreed.
"They're not!" Jordan snapped, but she found herself staring at the blonde doctor's chest anyway.
Well, they are abnormally perky, but they did look soft enough when she ah hell, this is useless.
"Hey, Stick! Come here."
Elliot, who had been oblivious to their conversation, bounced over, still babbling enthusiastically. "Oh my god, did you see that? I totally did it! I can't believe that worked." She paused and smiled at Jordan. "Thank you so much."
"Yeah, yeah," Jordan replied dismissively, though she did feel a small swell of pride in her new trainee. She motioned in the direction of Elliot's chest. "Up with the shirt."
"Excuse me?" Elliot asked, but the shocked look on her face made it pretty clear to Jordan that she hadn't misheard the request.
Jordan rolled her eyes. "You heard me," she said, still nonchalantly gesturing towards the blonde's cleavage. "Carla and DJ here say they're real, but I'll believe it when I see it. So out with them."
Elliot put her hand to her chest and executed what Jordan recognized from years of being around stodgy rich women as a classic pearl-clutching maneuver. "Jordan!" she exclaimed. "I can't just pull up my shirt and whip 'em out! We're in the middle of the hospital and, besides " she lowered her voice, "those are private."
"You showed them to that kid, Jared," JD commented.
"And him," Carla added, nodding towards JD.
"And that entire room full of people when that guy coded. Including Dr. Cox."
"You guys!" Elliot shrieked. "You're supposed to be supporting me, not"
"Wait a second," Jordan interrupted, "Even Perry's seen them?"
"Oh yeah," JD said.
It is so on. "I'm totally not going to be the only one in this place who hasn't seen your breasts."
"She's right," JD began in his most indignant voice, "It really isn't fair that--"
"Yeah, no one asked you, DJ," Jordan snapped.
The young doctor smiled nervously and made zipping motion over his lips before lowering his head and pretending to be fascinated by something on the nurse's counter.
"What a good boy," Jordan sneered. She crossed her arms and directed her attention back towards Elliot. "Well? Come on, I've got places to be."
Elliot glanced nervously from JD, who had gone back to watching her with rapt interest as soon as Jordan turned away, to Jordan, who was staring at her expectantly, to Carla, who was trying to conceal a smile by putting on her best "girl, you got yourself into this" face.
"Fine," she sighed as she took a quick look around the corridor to see if anyone else was around. Satisfied that no one was, she pulled up her scrubs top and bra.
Jordan cocked an eyebrow as she beheld the sight before her. Huh. They actually are pretty perfect. Don't admit it, though; that would give Stick an extra boost of self-confidence, and you've already done your good deed for the day. Just be casual.
"Nice," she said in her most disinterested voice.
Elliot blushed in a way that Jordan had to admit was oddly endearing and immediately pulled her shirt back down. "Satisfied now?"
"Of course not,' Jordan scoffed. "You think I was born yesterday, Stick?"
Elliot opened her mouth to answer, but Jordan cut her off.
"I would be very careful how I answered that if I were you."
Elliot closed her mouth.
"Anyway, you could have just hired a good surgeon," Jordan continued. "The only way to really tell is by feeling them."
That last part might have been pushing it a little, but we'll see how she responds.
"Ok," Elliot replied, extending a hand in front of her to prevent Jordan from coming any closer, "there is no way that you're feeling my breasts."
Jordan turned to Carla. "Told you they weren't real."
"Jordan!" Elliot exclaimed shrilly, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Just because I won't let you grope my chest does not mean that my boobs are fake, ok?!"
She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself a little. "Besides, nobody gets that kind of access without at least buying me dinner." She nodded resolutely.
Dinner? Hmm, I might have taught her too well. Touché, Stick.
"Fine," Jordan said, rolling her eyes again. "How do you feel about Italian?"
Elliot looked confused. "What?"
"Look, I have to know this information, and I'm willing to foot the bill for dinner to get it. So, Italian. Yes? No?"
Elliot just gaped at her.
"Yeah, I'm bored now, so I'm going to take that as a yes," Jordan said as she glanced down at her watch. "Be at my house at eight tonight."
She patted Elliot on the shoulder as she turned to leave. "Oh, and don't be late. If I don't have food in front of me by the time eight-thirty rolls around, I'm not above cannibalism."
The blonde doctor remained frozen for a moment before she whirled around, panicked, to face her friends.
JD was too busy staring longingly in the distance (no doubt deeply engrossed in some fantasy that involved Elliot, Jordan, several cans of whipped cream, and a short, pudgy Italian man named Giuseppe tossing pizza dough) to provide her with any reassurance, so she turned to Carla.
"Carla?" she asked dazedly. "Did I just agree to go on a date with Dr. Cox's ex-wife?"
"I think you kinda did," Carla replied, biting her lower lip and bringing a hand up to her mouth in an attempt to suppress the laughter that was threatening to erupt.
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