DISCLAIMER: Did I mention that I don't own Charlie's Angels or any of the characters associated with said show. They belong to lots of other people, including Aaron Spelling - and Charlie. I'm also not making any profit from this in anyway, shape or form. Disclaimer done.
NOTE: This is based on the original series from the seventies with the real Angels. This follows the events of Hours of Desperation from Season Two.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
How Do You Talk to an Angel?
By Del Robertson
"You're so vain."
"You have a big butt."
"What?" Kelly asked, stopping in the middle of the aisle.
"What?" asked Sabrina, arching an eyebrow.
"You said I have a big butt."
Sabrina stuck her hands in both her front trouser pockets, nonchalantly blew a bubble. "You said I'm vain."
"That's the name of the song."
"Oh." Sabrina grimaced, quickly turned to walk away at a brisk pace.
Kelly easily caught up to her with long-legged strides. "What did you think I meant?"
There was a subtle shrug of shoulders as Sabrina stopped to admire a fur coat and matching hat.
Eyes widened with realization. "You thought I was talking about you."
Another subtle shrug of shoulders as Bree eyed the price, let it drop with a low whistle. "Wouldn't be the first time you've called me names." She turned sharply, sauntered towards a perfume counter.
"I wasn't calling you a name, though."
Bree daintily picked up a perfume bottle, checking the label. She took Kelly's arm, spritzed a delicate wrist. "Weren't you?" she asked, lightly sniffing.
"No." She jerked back her wrist abruptly.
"Then, why did you choose to mention this particular song title?" Again with the smug arch of the eyebrow.
"Because that's what's playing," Kelly retorted, picking up another bottle of perfume, lightly spraying it, then sniffing the aroma in the air. "I couldn't very well blurt out You Don't Have To Say You Love Me."
"Why not?"
"Because that's not the title of the song." A salesgirl caught Kelly's eye, moved towards the counter.
"Why don't I have to say I love you?" persisted Sabrina.
Kelly spotted the salesclerk approaching, quickly grabbed Sabrina by the elbow, steering her away from the perfume counter. "You don't."
Sabrina stopped dead center in the middle of the aisle, raised both eyebrows this time. "Don't I?"
"No. You don't."
"Then, why did you mention it?" she noticed several shoppers struggling to pass by them, resumed walking at a casual stroll so as not to draw a crowd.
"It's a song title." An exasperated sigh. "I was using it as an example."
"Ah." A slight moment of silence as they walked side by side, shoulders and hips occasionally brushing. "But, why did you happen to choose that particular song?"
Kelly reached out, grabbing Sabrina's elbow, twirling her around to face her. "Okay, then. What would your response be if I had said Have You Seen Her?"
"Of course I have." Given without the slightest hesitation. "We left Jill on the first floor, trying on bikinis."
"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about!" Kelly fairly screamed. She discreetly lowered her voice as several older women openly stared in disdain. "You're so frustrating!"
"There's a bathroom on the right."
Kelly stopped, cocking her head to listen to the music coming over the loudspeaker system. "I think you mean There's A Bad Moon on the Rise, sweetie."
"No, I mean there's a bathroom on the right." Sabrina grabbed Kelly's hand, pulling her along to the women's restroom. "Come on, I've gotta go."
Kelly rolled her eyes as she was pulled in tow. "You're incorrigible, you know that?" She asked as they disappeared through the swinging door. To her relief, the restroom was empty.
"No, I'm in Los Angeles." A silly grin, followed by a waggling of eyebrows. "Would you care to join me?" she asked, hooking her fingers into the waistband of Kelly's pantsuit, placing a tender kiss on soft lips, her tongue darting into Kelly's mouth, then quickly withdrawing. Taking a step backwards, she disappeared into one of the stalls, closed the door behind her.
"You're nothing but a tease!" Kelly yelled at the locked door.
"See, I knew you were calling me names!"
The End