DISCLAIMER: I don't own, but if I did I wouldn't want a profit as long as we had some damn BAM! LOL
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

I'm not….But
By Bynx


Part 1

" 'nother, please" Maggie slurs to the bartender raising her empty glass.

"Don't you think that's enough, hun?" She suggests.

"Nope. I can shtill m-make out my face in the m-mirror there. It'll only be 'nough when I can't tell what I look like. Sho, 'nother." Maggie scowls at her reflection.

"Alright, but I gotta tell ya, your face ain't half bad, kid. Not at all," the bartender pours another jack and coke.

"Yeah, but all it causes is pain," Maggie slams down half her drink. They had burned all the way down at first, but after six who can feel it, "It hurts her to look at m-me. Sh-she can deny it, but I can shee it in her eyes…" she finishes the drink.

"Oh. Sorry kid I didn't know you were drowning love sorrows. Next one's on me then."

"Thanks," Maggie smirks, "Love…yeah. I love her…there I shaid it. But she loves a memory with m-my face…"

"Huh? You lost me."

"My twin sister…she got here first and died…now it hurts her to look at me and that kills me…" Maggie slams down half of the new drink.

" 'cause you fell in love with her," the bartender finishes.

"I d-didn't mean to you know…but I couldn't help it…she's beautiful…wonderful…loving…the besht. Yet, I'll never know just how wonderful 'cause this" she smacks her face a little too hard making the bartender cringe, "this…I hurt her just by existing. I should just leave…yeah…I'm…I can't."

"Wouldn't help anyway. You would still love her."

"Yeah, I love her….I love, Bean." Maggie smiles sadly and then promptly passes out.

"Shit, kid." The bartender curses, "Okay let's find that cell phone of yours." She finds it in Maggie's coat pocket.

"If I were a 'bean' what would I be?" she smiles looking thru the phone book, "Oh. Well, that was easy…you're a bean in here."

She dials the number and waits, "Hello?" comes a sleepy voice.

"Yes, I'm calling from a young woman's phone that is passed out on my bar. She kept talking about someone named Bean?"


"No, I'm the bartender down at 'The Hole', but I have a young lady here short, pretty, and sweet as can be drunk off her ass. Have I reached Bean?"

"Uh yeah, that's me…Bianca. I'll be right down to get her. Is she alright?" Bianca jumps out of bed.

"Yeah, just passed out. She's fine."

"I'll be right there. I'm underage though."

"No prob. I'll meet you at the door with her."

"Thank you." Bianca hangs up her phone, grabs her coat and heads out the door.

Bianca pulls up in front of the dive Maggie has chosen to drink in. It can be a rough place on the wrong night. She's just gotten lucky tonight. It looks fairly deserted. She walks quickly to the door where a red-headed woman has Maggie leaning on more than sitting in a chair.

"You have to be, Bean." She chuckles looking at Bianca's pajamas.

"Yeah, how long has she been here?" Bianca looks at Maggie.

"Oh…about 2 or 3 hours is all, but she slammed down about 7 jack and cokes back to back. Drowning her sorrows I found out late in the game."

"She lost her cousin not too long ago. He meant a lot to her." Bianca offers.

"That's rough, but it's not what she was rambling about. She kept talking about her face…said she wouldn't quit drinking until she couldn't see it anymore." She ruffles Maggie's hair.

"Her face?" Bianca quips.

"Yeah, she said it hurt someone to look at her…guess she thought it was a memory…Yeah, said she came second…but fell in love, too. Something like that. She was very upset that her face hurts the person she loves…thought it got in the way…or something." She tells half the story seeing Bianca's eyes tear up.

"Um…can you help me to the car with her?" Bianca asks quietly.

"Yeah, sure. Any idea what she was babbling about?" they haul Maggie up.

"S-sort of…" Bianca opens the car door, "Where did I come in?" Bianca buckles Maggie in closing the door.

"Oh, well…she said she loved, Bean and then she passed out."

"Thanks for calling me." Bianca offers her hand.

"Sure thing. Take care of her and yourself, Bean." She shakes the offered hand.

"I'll try…'night."

Bianca gets in the car and drives off. The bartender smiles and walks back to the bar. Bianca looks over at Maggie sleeping in her seat. She raises her hand to move Maggie's hair out of her face. She strokes the cheek lightly.

"Oh, Maggie. I'm sorry I didn't tell you it isn't your face that hurts me." She whispers to herself.

Maggie nuzzles into Bianca's touch and groans, "Sorry, Bean." Bianca sighs.

She pulls up in front of Myrtle's. She can't very well take her to David and Anna right now. She reaches and shakes Maggie hard.

"Come on, Maggie. You have to help me out here. I can't carry you upstairs."

"Huh?…oh…coming.." Maggie mumbles.

"Mary-Margaret Stone, WAKE UP!" Bianca shouts.

"Okay! I'm up!" Maggie's eyes open slowly.

"Maggie, You're going to have to stay with me tonight, but you have to help me get you upstairs."

"Bean? Where'd you come from?" Maggie slurs out.

"Your friend the bartender called me after you passed out."

"Oh…don't 'member…shorry" she closes her eyes.

"Oh no you don't…upstairs."

Slowly, and none to quietly, they manage to get upstairs. Bianca lowers Maggie onto her bed. She moves to the dresser to get Maggie some pajamas. She turns around pajamas in hand to see Maggie simply looking at her.

"Are you okay, Maggie?" Bianca moves over to her.

"No, but I could be…" Maggie puts her hand out toward Bianca.

Without thought, Bianca takes her hand and sits next to her, "How…what can I do?" Bianca puts a stray hair behind Maggie's ear.

Maggie leans into her touch, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. Let's get these pajamas on you, okay?" Bianca stands.

She carefully pulls Maggie to her feet and turns her around for some privacy. She pulls off Maggie's shirt with little help from Maggie. Cautiously, her hands trembling, Bianca unhooks Maggie's bra and watches as it slides off Maggie's shoulders to the bed.

'Get a grip, Bianca.' She chides herself.

As Bianca raises her arms to pull the t-shirt over Maggie's head, Maggie quickly turns to face Bianca. Bianca drops her arms in shock effectively holding Maggie to her. Maggie grins sheepishly at Bianca before capturing her lips in a deep, longing kiss. Instinctively, Bianca tightens her hold on Maggie pulling the shorter girl into her body. As their tongues tangle in greeting, a moan escapes Maggie pulling Bianca from her blissful moment. She quickly breaks their kiss panting as her heart pounds in her ears.

Maggie tries to regain Bianca's lips, but Bianca moves her head away. She raises her arms and lowers the t-shirt over Maggie's head and pulls it down. Maggie struggles to get her arms thru the holes. She grabs Bianca before she can move farther away. Bianca sees the desire in Maggie's eyes and can feel her own heated passion rushing through her veins. As Maggie tries to kiss her again, she grabs her into a tight embrace instead.

"I can't, Maggie…" Bianca shudders, 'Oh, I want to, but you'll regret it later and then what would we do?'

She feels Maggie start to cry. She walks them over to the bed laying Maggie down gently. She sees her tear-stained cheeks. Maggie reaches her hand to Bianca's face touching it so gently.

"I'm sorry…know I'm not Frankie…" Bainca closes her eyes tight at this, "But couldn't you love me, too?"

Bianca opens her eyes wide at this, but Maggie has fallen asleep. Bianca turns off the light and climbs in next to Maggie.

"I do love you, Maggie…I do." She kisses the smaller woman's head.


Part 2

Maggie opens her eyes, but promptly closes them against the sunlight from the window. She feels her head pounding, her stomach rolling, and her cheek is damp. She slowly brings her hand to her cheek to wipe it and it brushes against a softer lump than a pillow.

"Mmmm…" the moan comes from above her.

She opens her eyes and gently lifts her head. She looks up first to see Bianca peacefully. Then, she looks down and sees the drool puddle on her friends shirt, but more precisely over her breast. She feels Bianca's arms around her. Her memory flashes last night's events back to her in slow motion. The kiss and been fantastic until Bianca…

"Shit!" Maggie practically jumps from the bed and Bianca startling her awake in the process, "I…oh…shit."

Bianca sits up and looks wildly around the room. She spots Maggie staring at her shaking in fear.

"Maggie…hey, it's alright," Bianca gets out of bed, "Are you alright?"

"I'm…I'm so sorry…" Maggie stammers, "I didn't…oh, Bean…I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything." Bianca walks toward Maggie slowly.

"I…I'm sorry you had to come and get…You should've just left me there…"

"I could never do that. You know that." Bianca stands in front of Maggie.

"I…I shouldn't have…" Maggie's voice cracks as she trembles.

"Shouldn't have gotten so drunk? Shouldn't have tried to forget your beautiful face? Shouldn't have…"

"Kissed you." Maggie finishes as a tear escapes down her cheek.

"Sshhh. That's the only thing you did right, Maggie," Bianca wipes the tear away.


"Come sit with me, because I'm sorry for something, too…Please?" Bianca leads them back to the bed.

Maggie sits next to Bianca still shaking. Bianca smiles a little sadly at Maggie's fear. She impulsively hugs Maggie to her to comfort her. It takes a moment for Maggie to relax, but finally she lets out a long, shuttering breath sagging into Bianca's embrace. Bianca feels Maggie's arms go around her squeezing back.

"I'm sorry about yesterday in the boathouse, Maggie." Bianca says while holding Maggie.

"Maggie moves out of their embrace, "Why? You were hurting and needed to talk. It's okay."

"Maybe, but I should have said something else that I didn't. In my pain, I sort of caused you some." Bianca strokes Maggie's cheek. "I love your face, Maggie."

"Yeah, I guess you would…" Maggie looks away.

Bianca turns Maggie's face back to her, "I do. I love YOUR face, Maggie. I love your face not because it's Frankie's, but because it's yours. There are subtle differences you don't see, but I do." She keeps touching Maggie's face, "There's your smile…yours twitches to the left…hers didn't. You raise your eyebrows in play and concentration…and you have slightly higher cheek bones, but the biggest difference is your eyes. Frankie's always closed people out, even me, but in yours I see wonder…strength…confidence…and love. Your eyes smile at me like no others. I love YOUR face, Maggie, because I love you and not a memory. I…I always feel like someone is standing on my throat…well…you know why except that it's hell when you love someone you don't think you can have…" Bianca trails off looking away.

"I…you love me?" Maggie squeaks.

"Yes…Frankie's in my memory, but you are in my heart."

"I…I was so afraid you couldn't look at me without only seeing Frankie…I hated my face…I…I would have gladly mangled it just to give some peace, Bean….I love you." Maggie turns Bianca's face to her, "I love you…I just didn't want to hurt you more."

"Maggie, you leaving or trying to change who you are would hurt me. I love to look at you. Truthfully, it's like the best of two worlds. There are times when I can see Frankie in you and that's wonderful, because it means I will never forget her, but the best is knowing it's you Maggie and that you are always looking back at me openly." Bianca smiles.

"Bean, I…um…" Maggie blushes.


"I…can I…I would like to um…kiss you again when I can really remember it." Maggie blushes impossibly redder.

"I would like that, too." Bianca blushes, too.

Maggie smiles and then her face turns very serious as she touches Bianca's cheek. She leans in close as Bianca moves half way to meet her. As their lips touch chastely at first, Maggie swallows hard at the anticipation of deepening the tender touch. Her hand moves into Bianca's hair, as she feels Bianca wrap her arms around Maggie's waist. Bianca teases Maggie's lower lip with the tip of her seeking tongue to which Maggie grants a warm entrance. Their tongues sample on another's flavor as the kiss deepens itself. A low moan escapes both of the girls at the same time. Maggie's other hand, which had been supporting them on the bed, comes up to Bianca's cheek. It isn't but a moment that their balance having been offset takes them over to lying on the bed. This kiss is broken, but only for a moment for one look into the other's eyes and they are passionately kissing again. Hands roam over clothed curves trying to explore as much terrain as possible. The heat between them builds impossibly. It isn't long as over-heated passions lead the girls to divest clothing pieces at a time around ardent groping and kissing. After a few fumbles and unintended elbows the desired nudity is achieved. Bianca has lain back on the bed with Maggie taking in full view of the taller, porcelain pale woman presented to her. She smiles at her soon to be lover as she sees Bianca's chocolate brown eyes go even darker in passion. As she lowers her own naked body on top of Bianca's, the heated touch of another's body makes both young women gasp out. Each slides their hands up and over the silk and satin of each others curves and crevices as their mouths feed upon one another's lips and flesh. Contented moans of pleasure and astonishment can be heard in the room as teasing and torture gets a whole new definition. Finally, Maggie stops all movement with her fingers resting in Bianca's center she has tortured to ecstasy. Bianca trying to stay still and look at her lover, smiles at Maggie with love. Maggie smiles back leaning closer to Bianca.

"Bianca, I love you," Maggie says sincerely before capturing Bianca's lips in a loving kiss as her fingers penetrate slowly and deeply into her lover.

She feels the slight resistance and then tastes the gasp of slight pain that Bianca purs into their kiss. She stills again and looks down at Bianca. She kisses away the line of concentration on Bianca's forehead. Bianca opens her eyes to see Maggie gazing full of love into her eyes.

"I love you, too, Maggie…love me…" Bianca moves her hips pushing against Maggie's hand. A tear drops from Maggie's face to Bianca's lips. Her tongue glides to taste it before she feels Maggie's lips on hers again.

Slowly, Maggie begins moving inside Bianca gently. As Bianca's pleasure takes over her hips beging matching Maggie's pace and speeding it up. Soon, both women are rocking together in a primal rhythm that their bodies instinctively know. As Bianca's passion builds, she slides her hand into Maggie's core and teasing her clit. As they sway into one another, Maggie's thumb seeks out Bianca's joy-button. With both of their hands encased in the other's silken treasure, the girls climb their way up the mountain together and find each other's passion as they reach its peak. Slowly, their movements slowing from their frantic pace, they come down the other side of that mountain known as pleasure to a blissful togetherness. Neither young woman feels the need to remove their intimate contact. Maggie raises her head up from Bianca's sweaty shoulder smiling with her eyes alight like Bianca has never seen them.

"Bean, I love you…you…we…amazing…." Maggie stammers with love.

"Mmmm…yeah…love is amazingly beautiful just like you Maggie, I love you." Bianca smiles as she leans up to kiss Maggie lovingly.

They lay tangled together with each other kissing until sleep comes for them. They had never moved form each other after their passion was spent. Maggie sleeps mostly on top of Bianca with her head pillowed on Bianca's breast and Bianca's arms holding her protectively to her. If anyone cared to look they would have seen a smiling Bianca and a happy Maggie with one little puddle of drool directly over her lover's breast.

The End

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