DISCLAIMER: Crossing Jordan and all its characters are property of NBC. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: for "Shattered" [6x02] and "33 Bullets" [6x03].
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By lysachan


Lu watches Jordan, amazed at the fiery passion and grace with which she delivers her message and has the honorable Judge Dixon not so honorably right where she wants him. Miraculously he signs their search warrant and Lu finds herself reconsidering her views of Jordan. Suddenly she isn't quite certain why she was so utterly convinced of Jordan's guilt in the Pollack case, and why they have butted heads right from the beginning.

This whole case has, little by little, turned their previously so cold and tension-ridden working relationship upside down. All of a sudden Jordan seems to respect Lu's role as a police officer in their investigation, and Lu has found herself not once but twice covering for Jordan – something she would never have done before.

And while they have apparently discovered a mutual respect for each other, Lu realizes how fantastic a team they actually make. She smiles, a proud look on her face as she eyes the people in the courtroom, feeling nothing but admiration towards her brunette partner.

The collar is one of the most satisfying ones Lu has ever had; Dave Gilbert, your typical pedophile, escorted out of his house in handcuffs. Moments like this make her feel like she has given something back, made the world just a little bit better. She knows it's corny, but she likes to think it has some truth to it. The look on Gilbert's face is made of stone and he seems emotionless, even when Jordan gives him a piece of her mind. But Lu's almost gleeful nevertheless.

"You did good." Jordan's praise is genuine and Lu's heart is near bursting with joy.

"Yeah!" she quips humorously, trying to slow down her hammering heartbeat, but she can't quite bring herself to tear her eyes away from Jordan's. "You're not gonna kiss me again, are you?" she then jokes, hoping to break the spell between them.

Jordan chuckles, glancing away, and Lu finds herself missing the intense contact already. They walk out, side by side, and Lu offers the Medical Examiner a ride back to the morgue. The conversation between them could almost be described as 'friendly' or 'easy', and Lu ponders that she wouldn't really mind talking to Jordan like this on a regular basis.

The car comes to a halt in front of the morgue and Lu glances warmly at the other woman. Jordan unfastens her seat belt and puts her hand on the door handle. But instead of swinging the door open, she hesitates and looks at Lu almost sheepishly.

"Thanks, for taking me along. It really means a lot to me." Her eyes are honest and Lu can't help smiling.

"No problem." She means it.

"See ya around. And thanks for the ride." Jordan gets out of the car, leaving a beaming BPD detective behind.

"Anytime," the blonde mutters, butterflies tickling the pit of her stomach as she pulls the car back into the afternoon traffic.

Whoever said getting shot only stings and burns a little is full of crap. That's what Lu thinks. It hurts so bad she can hardly breathe, and trying to suppress her tears in front of Woody makes it all twice as hard. She senses a car coming their way. Then suddenly Jordan's there and she's kneeling beside her and cradling her hand. She can't hold it in any longer and lets the tears come. The pain is too excruciating. She feels Jordan's hand around her wrist and knows the brunette understands.

It's all a blur to her; the next thing she knows she's lying on a stretcher, being wheeled to the hospital. The only thing that's as clear as a day is Jordan; Jordan's hands on her stomach, Jordan's warm and scared eyes locked with her own, Jordan's voice the only thing she hears.

But the pain is killing her.

Lu doesn't think she's going to make it and she tells Jordan so. She has seen this before and it never ends well. She knows it's only a matter of time when the pain will suddenly start to dissolve, leaving behind a feeling of euphoria before she will slip away completely.

Lu has never seen Jordan so beside herself.

True to her style, Jordan's trying to provoke her, but she's too tired to take the bait. She feels calm. She knows she should fight it, but she doesn't. She simply feels lucky to spend the last minutes of her life with the woman next to her. They don't say anything, but their eyes tell more than words ever could.

Jordan's voice is the last thing Lu recognizes before it's all over. She feels happy.

The light is harsh, and for a moment Lu feels disoriented until different, darker shapes start to emerge from the brightness. A regular beeping sound can be heard and she's trying to concentrate on it to keep from passing out. Her head feels light and she's hurting all over. She tries to speak, but the sound slipping from her lips is more like a whimper than a coherent word.

It must've been heard, however, because suddenly there's someone standing beside her, their hand covering Lu's own. She tries to speak again, but the words simply refuse to come out. Her eyes are now fixed on the person next to her and she's able to make out a profile of a brunette woman who looks awfully familiar.

The woman says something, but Lu can't hear her; it's like she's in a fog, not able to find her way out. There's a small pressure on Lu's wrist this time and suddenly she feels drowsy again. The pain's gone and she closes her eyes, feeling more exhausted than ever.

The white bedsheets feel rough under Lu's skin as she traces the wrinkles in it with the tips of her fingers. The healing wound in her stomach is still sore and a dull pain makes its presence known everytime she inhales. She could go home tomorrow, to her own apartment, to her own little world and, most of all, to her own bed. Frankly, she is so sick of anything related to hospitals that a squeaky bunk bed would probably feel downright heavenly.

Lu glares at the clock on the wall because it doesn't seem to move forward at all. There's nothing on TV and she couldn't really be bothered to sleep after being basically unconscious the past few weeks. She sighs. Just when she's about to press the call button for some sleeping pills, the door opens and a certain brunette pops her head in. Lu pulls her hand back and smiles a little awkwardly at Jordan who has now fully stepped into the room.

"Brought you some donuts." The look on Jordan's face is conspiratory as she glances towards the hallway to make sure the nurses didn't hear her.

"Oh, thank God!" Lu doesn't know what she has done to deserve this, but she has never been so glad to see a doughnut in all her life.

They eat in silence, the beeping of Lu's heart monitor the only noise echoing in the room. Before Lu knows it, she has devoured two of Jordan's souvenirs and reaches for the third, only to be stopped by the questioning look on Jordan's face.

"The urban legends about hospital food? All true." Lu snatches the last one and Jordan only shakes her head and chuckles. They fall silent again, both deep in thought. Then Jordan turns to Lu again, her eyes serious.


"Don't. Jordan, it's fine. Honestly." Lu really doesn't want to hear it. Because she knows, once she opens that door, she can never close it again. And the last thing she wants is Jordan blaming herself.

Jordan seems to understand; the brunette looks at Lu for a second and then slowly nods. She turns her eyes away and leans back in her chair, clearly unsure of how to continue. It's a rare sight; Lu doesn't even remember the last time Jordan Cavanaugh would've been lost for words.

"I so need to get out of here. The nurses are driving me nuts," Lu then states, giving the brunette a way out, and she's rewarded with a relieved smile from Jordan.

"I'll distract them while you wheel yourself out of here." Jordan's voice is barely a whisper and Lu can't help grinning like an idiot. The funny thing is, she doesn't mind it one bit.

Carefully avoiding to strain her right side too much, Lu stretches her aching muscles and feels the blood starting to circulate a little better. She's able to breathe normally again, and the only reminder of that fateful shooting is the clearly visible scar just under her ribcage. It will never disappear completely, but she gladly takes a scar over an early grave.

She pours herself a glass of orange juice and tries to push all the morbid thoughts aside. Right on cue the doorbell rings and she wanders to the door, grateful for the distraction. She finds herself not too surprised to see Jordan on the other side and opens the door a little wider to let the other woman in.

It's almost a tradition by now that Jordan comes by every day after her shift. They didn't plan anything, there was no words spoken between them. It just happened and now it's become a routine neither of them seems willing to give up.

But it's somehow different today. Something's different, because when they sit on the couch, neither of them seems to be able to utter a word. The silence between them grows heavier by the minute. Lu wants to say so many things, but she can't find the right words, no matter how hard she tries.

"I don't think I...want to pretend anymore." Jordan says all of a sudden and her words are lacking the confidence which is usually her trademark.

"I don't want you to...to pretend." Lu's hand involuntarily inches towards Jordan's.

Jordan smiles; it's like sunrise to Lu, only ten times better. Their fingers slowly entwine and they both nervously glance at the other before turning their attention back to their joined hands.

"We'll be fine." Lu knows it's meant to reassure them both. She swallows, suddenly feeling almost shy under the brunette's unfaltering gaze. They stare at each other—a real déjà-vu moment—but this time Lu doesn't want to ruin it by being witty.

When their lips finally meet for the first time, Lu wants nothing more than to believe Jordan's words to be true.

The End

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