DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls is the property of Shed productions, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women...okay, disclaimer done.

Internal Affairs
By Sarah


Helen stood outside the mausoleum that read WADE in big imposing letters across the top of the doorway. “Oh Nikki why didn’t you ever tell me” Helen thought thinking back on the fact that Nikki had never once mentioned the fact that her family had been so wealthy. She supposed she should have asked, but then the signs had been there. The big house and flash cars, holidays abroad, if Helen had thought about it she should have known that there was no way a reporter or Home Office employee would have been able to afford such luxuries.

Sighing deeply Helen looked down when she felt the small fingers creep into her own. Looking into eyes so much like Nikki’s she sighed and it wasn’t until her arm was shaken that she pulled herself out of her reverie. “Helen are we going to go in and see mommy and Aunty Max” was solemnly asked of her and with just a nod of her head, Helen walked into the crypt with the little girl in her wake and tears blurring her vision.

Helen’s eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness inside the room and it took her a moment to see the two figures standing in front of her arranging flowers in front of the name plate. Her tiny gasp was enough to alert the other two adults of her presence and slowly they made their way over.

“Helen ... are you sure you want to be in here?” Max said coming to stand beside her friend “It’s not exactly the most welcoming of places”.

Looking at the flowers so lovingly arranged Helen nodded her head. “There beautiful ... you’ve both done a great job.” Helen thanked them.

“It wasn’t hard to do” the other person answered pulling Helen toward her for a hug.

They stood that way till a little body pushed itself between them, “Mommy mommy I don’t like it in here can we please leave.”

“Just a minute sweeth....”

“It’s alright Gracie” Helen interrupted, “this is no place for a child. Why don’t you, Max and Beth go for an ice-cream in the park I’ll join you later.”

“Are you sure Helen?” Gracie asked

“Yes ... go .... all of you. I’ll be fine I just want to talk to Nikki for a while” and with a smile she watched them all go.

Moving to the small stone seat in the centre she slowly sat down in front of the bronze plaque. It’s stark brightness against the others on the wall belied the fact that it was the newest addition to the room, having been placed upon the wall just that morning. Reading the simple epitaph Helen once again felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks.

Loving Mother, Sister and Wife
Who's Love Knew No Boundaries
and Not Even Bars Could Stop

Thinking back on the worst day of her life Helen realised that it hadn’t been the day that Nikki died but rather that day at Nikki’s office when Jim Fenner had taken them all hostage and shot blindly at them all. The ride in the ambulance had been a nightmare for the simple reason that she hadn’t none what was going to happen. When they had reached the hospital and Nikki had been taken away from her, she had sat down on a hard plastic chair and cried. She had sat their crying for everything she had lost and everything she would never have. She had cried till she had felt a couple of strong arms wrap themselves around her and then she had buried herself into the arms and cried some more till Max had pulled back, looked in Helen’s eyes and said that she had to pull herself together, that Nikki was going to need her now. Helen had looked confused, until Max explained that she had seen the doctor before coming to fetch her and that Nikki was going to be alright. Helen didn’t wait for the rest of the news she had left Max sitting there and ran to the ward where Nikki was, bursting through the door like the Tasmanian devil in the cartoon that Gracie watched and running straight into the imposing figure of the ward sister.

“You can’t be in here, it’s family only” she bustled, reminding Helen of Bodybag.

“She is family” piped up a weak voice from the bed behind her and before the nurse could say anything else Helen had rounded her and reached Nikki, who was sat up with a goofy smile on her face trying vainly to hide her tiredness.

“You had me so worried” Helen said dragging Nikki into her arms. “Don’t you ever do that to me again Nikki Wade.”

“Yes miss” Nikki answered weakly before falling asleep in Helen’s arms.

Nikki awoke a few hours later to find Helen smiling at her. “Hey”

“Hey you” Helen said and reaching for Nikki’s hand brought it up to her lips for a soft kiss. “Feeling better?”

“Oh yeah ... just great. I feel like I went ten rounds with Mike Tyson but hey at least I’m alive” Nikki jokingly answered before turning serious. “Did we stop Jim Fenner? Was anyone hurt?” Nikki could tell by the look in Helen’s eyes that someone had been, the nurses had already mentioned that Max had been asking after her so that only left ...”Mich?”

“I’m so sorry sweetheart” Helen soothed. “Jim shot wildly around the room and she was hit by a stray bullet to the chest. She died in Max’s arms at the office.”

Nikki’s face crumpled and tears started to fall down her cheeks for the loss of her friend. Helen once again reached for Nikki and letting her tears mingle with hers they both sat there and cried, letting the stress of the day flow out of them.

It was the day of Mich’s funeral and Nikki was finally getting out of hospital. It had been torture sitting in the hard bed all day with nothing to do and so as soon as Helen had walked through the doors she had stood up from the bed, grabbed her bag and walked towards the door.

“Ready ... let’s go then.”

“Hang on Sweetheart ... are you sure you have everything?” Helen asked the retreating back.

“Yes, now come on, I don’t want to be here a moment longer.”

Catching up to Nikki, Helen slipped her hand into Nikki’s and walked with her confidently to her car, not caring who saw them or what they thought.

With a quick stop at home to change they made there way over to the crematorium for Mich’s funeral. On the way Helen told Nikki that Fenner’s funeral had been the day before, Karen Betts had been the only guest, who instead of throwing a rose onto the casket had thrown her cigarette butt (much to the disgust of the pastor) instead.

Once they arrived they had made there way over to Max and Gina, who was still sporting the bruises from the kicking she had received from Fenner. Looking around Nikki made a note that there were quite a few mourners attending the funeral, some colleagues and acquaintances she knew, some she didn’t. Turning back to the group she was with she excused herself and made her way slowly around some of the others she knew. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the flash of something on the other side of the remembrance garden and made her way over so that she was standing behind the dark clothed figure.

“Hello Denny” she said softly, steadying the smaller woman when after spinning around so fast she nearly toppled over. “It’s nice to see you again”

Bowing her head Denny held her wrists out together and sighed. “Go on then, I surrender, I was going to give myself up later anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye to Shell”

Batting the hands away Nikki pulled a cigarette out of her suit pocket and lit it. “I’m not going to arrest you Denny. I just wanted to say hi”

Denny eyed her suspiciously, “Your not?”

“No.” and leaving it at that Nikki made her way over to the bench behind her, with Denny following. They sat there for a while before Nikki spoke again. “How did you know?”

“Shaz. I came back two weeks after Shell. When I heard that she had just walked into the cop shop and given herself up I couldn’t believe it. I was angry with her for such a long time. To me she was just like my mother, I thought that she had used me and dumped me and it got me so mad. I wrote to Shaz pretending to be her sister and she wrote back, the next time I wrote I included my phone number, so when Fenner and Stewart were suspended she told me, then when they all heard that Fenner and Shell were dead ... well she couldn’t wait to tell me that bit of news.” Denny ended bitterly. “I just came to say goodbye” she whispered after a few moments of silence.

Stubbing out her cigarette, Nikki stood. “Well good luck Denny and be careful.” and walking away she went to join Helen. Helen looked at her questioningly, but Nikki just shook her head. Later when they heard over the news that Denny had given herself up, Nikki had told her that she had seen her at the funeral.

Over the coming weeks, things had settled down again. Nikki had gone back to work and Helen had started working as a counsellor for young offenders. The only bone of contention was when Nikki had to go undercover. Helen hated it when Nikki went away and Gracie always went quiet and stopped talking. When Helen told Nikki her fears about her undercover work and about Gracie’s unresponsiveness, Nikki had immediately stopped doing undercover work and been promoted to Max’s position when she had been promoted to head the department.

A few years later, when Barbara had been released from Larkhall they had all joined forces and used their expertise to open the Michelle Dockley centre for recently released prisoners, a place where ex-offenders could go while they looked for a job and somewhere to live. Ten years after the centre had opened it’s doors Denny Blood had walked in through the doors. Nikki, who had been keeping in touch with Denny since she had been back in prison, had welcomed her and offered her a job and a place to live at the centre. When Helen had asked her about it, she had said that Denny reminded her of Alex and that she deserved a break in life. She proved to be a valued member of the team and had gone on to manage the centre when Helen and Nikki had decided to open another.

Their family had also grown over the years. On Gracie’s tenth birthday Helen had given birth to twin boys, Gracie had thought it to be the best birthday present ever, Nikki had been chuffed as well. They all grew up to be very fine adults and Helen and Nikki couldn’t of been more proud of them. Michael, the oldest twin by 15 minutes, had gone to university to study psychology, Thomas had studied journalism and Gracie medicine. Now Gracie was starting her own family with her husband of six years, with little Beth.

Then the day that the doctor had told Nikki she had to slow things down as she was developing heart problems. They had both retired then and left the centre’s to be run by managers, with Denny being overall manager. They had enjoyed their retirement immensely, travelling all over, gardening and babysitting little Beth. Then had come the day, just over a week ago when Helen had come out into the garden and found Nikki seemingly asleep on the sun lounger with Beth. Helen hadn’t realised at first, but when Beth had jumped off to run around the garden and Nikki hadn’t so much as twitched, then Helen had known. She had gone into the house, calmly called Gracie to collect Beth and an ambulance and had then gone and sat with Nikki while she waited for them. Today had been the funeral and Helen had been a little overwhelmed at all the people that had attended. Bowing her head Helen felt the tears once again roll down her cheeks.

“Mom?” Helen heard coming from behind her, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes, Helen kissed her fingers and placed them on the bronze plague, before facing the tall figure of her son. “Lets go home Thomas” Helen said and making her way over to her son she laced her arm through his and led him out of the crypt. Turning in the door she whispered “I’ll be with you once again soon darling” and walked out in to the sunlight and to her family.

The End

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