DISCLAIMER: If only the gods would smile upon me and make Ms. Jones and Ms. Lahbib all mine, but alas, Nikki Wade and Helen Stewart belong to Shed Productions. I have merely offered them candy, and brought them safely home.
SPOILERS: Set after the event of Series Three, Episode One.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Irresolution
By Fewthistle
Helen had resolved herself to it. It was the best thing, for both of them. What they felt was simply too much. Too much intensity. Too much passion. Too much at risk. Too much to lose.
She had known that she would have to be the one to end it. After all, Nikki had been willing to risk everything, her chance at appeal, extra years on her sentence, Helen's job, all for the singular prize of one night together, one shining moment of joined epiphany. Clearly, it was up to Helen to save them both from such willing destruction.
Hazel-green eyes open, she could face it, could see the harsh, sucker-punch-to-the-stomach reality of it without flinching. Knowing that she had done what she had to do. Knowing that, despite the pain, it was the right decision.
It was when she closed her eyes that her mind betrayed her. Betrayed her with images of Nikki, honeyed skin glistening with sweat, dark hair a tousled mess, brown eyes so warm with love and passion that the icy core at the center of Helen's heart melted to flood her body and soul.
A flood that threatened at every waking moment to wash away all traces of her resolve, to send her running, pleading, begging for one more chance, for one more taste of those lips, the flavor of which slaked her thirst like no bottle ever could.
Each morning Helen renewed her resolve, tried to harden her heart to the hurt and betrayal in those same brown eyes, tried to convince herself anew that she had done the only thing she could. And each night, lying alone in bed, she tried, unsuccessfully, to construct for herself a world that did not contain Nikki Wade.
The End