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ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Set at the beginning of the fourth season.
FEEDBACK: To ceej4[at]yahoo.com
J is for Jail
"Make a choice, Kel. That's what I'm asking you to do. That's all."
The words echoed in Kelly's mind. The conversation with Sabrina months before had left her unable to sleep and antsy during the team's two month vacation. The time had passed slowly without Sabrina, and it was passing slowly now as she waited for the others to arrive at the office. She had been there for almost an hour already, beating in even Bosley.
It was supposed to be an easy day, with no cases and little paperwork. They were there to check in and to ensure they would be ready when a new case arrived. The girls would be out by noon, and usually, that would make Kelly happy. If things were normal, she and Sabrina would have lunch with Kris and then the two of them would have the rest of the day together. With the sun shining and a cool breeze, they would probably end up in the hammock in her backyard, snuggled close and talking in whispers.
But, after their lack of communication, Kelly knew she would be going home alone.
She had been stupid. She realized that now. She should have told Sabrina the truth. Of how afraid she was. Of how uncertain of herself she was. Of how much she loved the other woman. Instead, she had listened to Sabrina pour out her heart and sat silently as Sabrina asked her to make a decision about their future. Three years and it was the first time Sabrina had made any sort of request.
And, Kelly had said nothing.
She had watched as Sabrina left, never moving from her spot on the couch. She had stayed there all night, cursing Sabrina and herself. She had done little in the following two months and had a restless night before finally getting dressed and coming to work in the hopes she could make amends. The thought gave her hope, and her smile was genuine when she heard the door open. Standing, her smile faltered just a bit when Bosley entered, but he was so happy to see her that she grinned in response to his joy. Kris was the next to walk in, and the young blonde greeted her with a hug and a hundred questions. Kelly laughed as she tried to keep up, but her gaze kept shifting to the door.
Finally, Kris voiced what Kelly had been thinking: "Where's Sabrina? She's never late."
"Ah, I have the answer to that," Bosley said. "But, we must wait for Charlie."
Kris turned to Kelly. "C'mon. You've got to know where she is. You always do," Kris said, poking Kelly in the stomach.
Kelly cringed and then shrugged. "No clue."
Kris looked confused, but then her attention was focused on Bosley again. "Tell us!" she pleaded. "Please, Bos, please."
"No, not yet. Charlie will tell you. You'll be excited."
And, then Kelly knew. She sat down heavily in the chair in front of the desk, her heart weighing too much to allow her to stand.
"She's gone, isn't she?" she asked, but she didn't need to hear Bosley's answer to know the truth.
Suddenly, Kris was crouching in front of her, but Kelly couldn't see her. The tears in her eyes blurred her vision.
"Kelly, what's wrong?" Kris asked. "Sweetie, it's okay."
"No, no it's not," Kelly said. "I didn't stop her. I...I should have stopped her."
"You knew she was leaving?"
Kelly laughed at Kris's confusion. Sabrina had wanted to tell the team, but Kelly had been reluctant. Sabrina had wanted to move in together, but Kelly had found excuses. Sabrina had wanted a family, but Kelly had suggested they wait.
It was ironic that Kelly wanted all of those things now after she could no longer have them. It was ironic the freedom she had been afraid to give up now felt like a prison.
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