DISCLAIMER: Nothing is mine. No money making intended.
THANKS: To my Beta Chris. I thank you, for your very hard work! This is also for Lea, who has the patient, to let me write a lot.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Love Between the Stars
By Morgaine Q
Captain Kathryn Janeway stood in the Astrometrics Lab and her eyes lay on the big screen before her. She was alone in the room because it was long after midnight. On the screen was a picture from the only thing she wished she could view naturally. The Earth. Her home. So far away. And, she thought, her only chance for a normal life. There, she could have a relationship with someone who saw her not as the Captain. Someone who saw the woman behind the Captain; someone who would give her a shoulder she could lean on when she needed it. Someone who would talk with her for hours and flirt with her, even just a little. Someone who would tell her she was loved and that everything would be okay.
But, out here, nobody could think of the Captain as a person who needed, from time to time, just a friend - and sometimes a little more. Of course, she had feelings for everyone in her crew, but it was more motherly love. Even her Senior Staff were just her subordinates. The dinners with Chakotay and the velocity games with Seven were only time killers once in a while. Nothing too personal.
"Computer, close the screen," the Captain said quietly. A second later, the screen before her was black. A little sigh travelled through the room, breaking the silence, as the Captain went to the doors and walked slowly, deep in thought, to her quarters.
The doors from the turbolift opened before me as I went on duty. All the others from Alpha shift were already there. I greeted Tuvok with a light nod and went directly to my chair on the lower deck. Chakotay got a little nod, too.
"Good morning. Sleep okay?"
"Yes, thank you," I told him. What else could I say? That I was up long before I must, just because my sleep was restless, and I felt lonely?
"Report," I said before he could ask more disagreeable questions.
"Nothing. No ships, no interesting planets. No danger, no problems."
I nodded again and stood. "I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge." Once in there, the silence and loneliness rushed over me like a wild river. One more wave and I would go back to the bridge, but I wouldn't or couldn't endure the questions that would come. So I stayed and sat uncomfortably in my chair. Work would help but there was nothing to do. Not one padd lay on my desk, so I stood up again and went to the window. There were a few stars, not like the darkness we once went through.
"Computer, play some music."
"Just anything. I don't care."
"I can not comply."
"Arrg," I shouted. "Okay, then. I'll do it another way." I went back to my desk. "Computer, perform a site to site transport."
I went to my console and wondered where wanted go. "Computer, hide this transport from detection." A few seconds later, and I was where I wanted to be. A light shout sounded behind me, and I followed the sound in panic.
"Captain?" B´Elanna's voice was low, but I could see the question in her eyes, the one she won't ask.
"Sorry, B´Elanna. I was I shouldn't have whew." I took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry. I should have warned you."
"I'll live," was her answer.
"Should I explain?" B'Elanna lowered her eyes when I asked her that.
"Not for me, Captain. It's your business, so I'm not gonna say you should." Right answer to her Captain. I wished it was another answer - to a friend, but I took a few steps before I stood at her side, so that no one else could hear me.
"I need a little time for myself," I whispered and stepped back. "You won't betray me?"
"Why should I?" Her eyes found mine and in the silence a smile grew on her face. "You can always come here when you need time to relax."
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Once again silence grew between us. "So, I should go. No idea how long my free time will last, so "
"Have a good time, Captain."
"Again, thank you." I went one, two steps and stopped. I didn't know what to do. Behind me, B'Elanna cleared her throat. I turned around to face her. "It's silly. Now I am free, and I don't know what to do."
"Well, I can give you a good holoprogram. It's a nice one. A beautiful beach, warm ocean, sunshine." Her one eyebrow rose a little. I needed to think.
"Sounds great. I had just hoped I could find something to do. You know, something with my hands, or a tricky thing for my brain." She stayed silent. "It's been a very slow few days, and I have the feeling my brain is rusting."
"Oh, I get it." I nodded and smiled a little. She looked at her hand and then to me again. "Maybe you could give this a look." She threw me the padd she'd been holding the whole time. "I've been working on this since the day before yesterday." I scrolled through the information.
Quietly humming, I went late in the night to my quarters. I don't know how long it's been since I felt so good. Weeks, months? I don't care. I fell on my bed and within seconds, my whole being drifted into a deep sleep. My last thought went with me in my dream and it was still there when I got up.
Her behaviour was so strange. No, not strange, more at ease. Exactly. When we were stuck together over the problem, there was no Captain and no Lieutenant. Just two people who were trying to solve the problem. Just like a few years ago, when she was not the Chief yet, just an Ex-Maquis stuck on a Starfleet ship.
I told Chakotay about my location just in case something happened. He didn't sound really surprised. Still, he was my first officer, and I heard the light wondering in his voice.
The problem was a difficult one, and B'Elanna and I had struggled with it, but we got a solution. At that moment, I was so happy, I lay an arm over her shoulders and laughed. Then it happened.
"Good work, Kathryn."
She just said what she was thinking, and I didn't mind. We said goodnight, and that was it.
I wasn't on duty now, so I went to Engineering. She was not there, so I called her.
"Janeway to Torres."
"Go ahead, Captain." Her voice came over the comm and brought a little smile to my face.
"Lieutenant, I was wondering, is our problem still okay?"
"Yes, Captain. Everything is in order."
"Great, good work, Lieutenant. Janeway out." I got out of Engineering, a little disappointed, but hey, why should I hope for problems on Voyager? I got to the turbolift and within seconds, I was sitting on the floor.
"Oh, sorry , OH, Captain." I heard her anxious voice and felt a hand on my arm just before I stood again on my own feet. "I'm sorry, Captain. I didn't see you. Did I hurt you? I was deep in thought "
I brought a hand up to stop her. "I´m fine, B'Elanna. I didn't see you, either. I was thinking myself." She gave me a light nod. "Where were you coming from? I searched for you in Engineering."
"Oh, yes, I had to repair a gelpack. Just finished it."
"Trouble with the packs?" My Captain's instincts were coming on. Always look after the ship and her needs.
"Not at all, Captain. It was a minor problem." She sounded a little unsure of herself. I knew what she was thinking. That I thought she didn't take care of the ship. So, I smiled a little bit and touched her briefly on her forearm.
"The ship is in good hands, I know that." Her lips curled a bit and a light blush came up on her cheeks.
"Thanks." She murmured. "Ahm, you were looking for me? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"No. I just, well, you know, I was thinking, maybe you might have another problem for my brain." I paused, but she said nothing. "It's just, the bridge is so boring these days."
"Sorry, Captain, I don't." Again, her lips curled up, but this time no blush. "To tell the truth, I'm thankful for this."
"Oh, come on. We were good with this."
"We, Captain? You. Without you, I would still be sitting over the problem."
Now the blush was on my face. Not so strong, but enough for B'Elanna to see. "No, B'Elanna. We did it, that's it." The doors of the turbolift opened and a pair of crewmen came out. I nodded to them. B'Elanna didn't. "Well, I guess I must go to the bridge."
"Yeah. Have a good day, Captain."
"Thanks, B'Elanna. You, too." The turbolift doors closed, and I was alone again.
I lay on my couch with a padd in my hands. The attempt to work failed completely. My thoughts kept wandering off to my talk with the Captain earlier today. Crazy, even in my mind, I called her Captain.
She was so at ease. No hard mask over her face. When the crewmen came out of the turbolift, the mask was there in a second and it stayed, even after they passed us. But before, there was just a woman talking to me (about ship's business, of course), but still, she was different. Like a person who needed something more. I put the padd away. Tonight I could not stop thinking of the minor problems, so I called it a night.
Alone in my bed, I missed the warmth from another body beside me. That's the one thing I missed after the end of my marriage. Well, that and the sex. Not always, but often enough. Janeway was not happy to dissolve the first marriage she had performed. Nor was she please with Tom's absence while I asked for an official divorce. For me it was not important that he wasn't there. When she asked why, I just shrugged my shoulders. She thought a moment and then made the divorce final. I was thankful that she didn't ask more, but I believed she was a little shocked at herself for asking. Even when I would have told her the many reasons, she could not take sides. I mean, I was the Chief of Engineering and Tom was her head pilot. She was the Captain, the leader of us all and that meant she needed a good work relationship with everyone. She knew when to back of.
The next two days, I didn't see her, but it became clear that she was right. With everything so quiet around us, my work was not the same. I would never pray for some big problems, like a meeting with the Borg, but a little to do would be fine. I had given the minor things over to my staff and had nothing to do myself. So, I was on duty, in my office, doing nothing except playing with thoughts and a padd. At the end of my shift, I took the padd and headed for the next turbolift. My target: the Captain.
I went to the bridge looking for her and could see for myself how boring it was there. No wonder she had to get out of there.
"She's in there," Chakotay said before I could even ask and pointed to the ready room.
"Thanks." I went over to the door and lightly pressed the chime.
"Come in," she called and I stepped forward. "Lieutenant. What can I do for you?"
I said nothing, just handed her the padd. She looked at me in irritation and then at the padd. I scanned her face while she was reading and saw her frown.
"Who knows about this?" Her voice was cold.
"Just me and you."
"This is terrible." She stood up, the padd still in her hand and walked to the replicator. "Want something?"
She got her always present cup of coffee and sat on the couch. With a wave of the padd, she called me over and I sat also.
"Again, this is terrible." Her eyes were still on the padd.
I began to feel a bit guilty. "Captain?" She didn't look at me, probably not hearing me. I cleared my throat and tried again. A bit louder. "Captain Janeway?" That did it. She looked up and I could easily see I was in trouble.
"What is it, B'Elanna?" My throat was dry like the desert in my Klingon holoprogram. "Why does Seven not know, that she could, perhaps, become a drone again? I'm sure she must have known it, long before you."
"Captain, this problem, it, well, it is just there." I pointed to the padd. "It is not real." She looked to the padd and back to me.
"What do you mean?"
"I have thought about our last conversation and you are right. It is boring here. Nothing to do. For either one of us." I paused for a breath to take the edge off my nerves. "I played a little today and that is what I came up with for you. Troubles for brain training, just on the padd." I held my breath while I waited for her reaction. She still looked at the padd.
"You came up with this because I was bored?" She still won't look at me.
"I'm sorry. I should not have done it. It was completely wrong, especially since I was doing it on duty." I tried to reach for the padd, but she won't let it go. Now, I'm the one who can't look in her eyes.
"I am very thankful." My head shot up in surprise. A smile greeted me. "But, you could have found a better way of telling me."
I countered her smile with a laugh. "I will make it better when it is a real problem."
Her laugher was low, but still a laugh. "Thank you, B'Elanna. I will enjoy this, I'm sure." She drank a little bit, while she once again studied the padd. "You have the solution already?"
"Of course. I need to know if your answer is correct, so "
"I think you will hear from me later."
I smiled and stood up. "Sorry, Captain, but I think you will need a day or two."
She lay her head back and looked up at me.
"I meant I will call you when I need a little help." She lowered her head, so I could hear her smile more than really see it. "Don't tell anyone, but I'm not almighty."
"Your secret is safe with me."
I rolled my eyes as I saw her smile. She did not hide it, and I was thankful for that. I've been in Engineering more in the last week than in the last year. I didn't care because I had something important to do.
"How did you do this?" She fell silent. "I mean, how weird is your brain, to come up with such things." Now, she laughed and took the padd I had with me. "Which one is it?" She rolled through the information. "Well, okay, I got it." She looked at me. "What's the problem?"
"Is it not clear to you?" I sighed and took a seat on her desk. She leaned back and got serious.
"No. Really, I thought, this was too easy for you. I almost didn't give it to you." She looked me straight in the eyes and it took just seconds before I couldn't hold back anymore.
I laughed out loud. "You got me. I'm here because I need a new one."
She hesitated. "I get the feeling that I shouldn't give you the next right now," she said then.
"The last time I was in your ready room, there were lots of padds on your desk."
"You think, I don't do my duty?" I got angry. "What's wrong with you?"
She put her hands together and looked down. "Captain, when you don't take your duty seriously, I have to tell you that." My features got softer, while I closed my eyes and let her words sink in. I opened my eyes again and saw her look at me. "I'm sorry if I overstepped the boundary between us." Her words made me sick but the fact that she again looked at the ground, made me feel worse..
"No, B'Elanna, you're right. I should take more time for my duty. I'm the one who should say I'm sorry." I waited until she looked up. "I'm sorry." I stood up and was going to the door when she called me
"You forgot something." She took a padd from her desk and held it out to me
"I'm not sure that I should take it," I said quietly. "Not after "
She smiled slightly. "Please, take it. I don't know if I'll have the time to bring it to you when you go off duty, and I don't want you to bore yourself to death."
I nodded, took the padd, and left Engineering without another word.
Later, I left my ready room with a bad feeling. Though I had every padd on my desk examined and cleared, I couldn't lose the sick feeling. Lost in thought, I ended up in the mess hall, and Neelix gave me a cup with coffee. That wasn't what I wanted right then, so I left and went for a walk. A lot of miles behind me, I knew what I needed to do. I went straight to my quarters and the replicator. After a few pushes, it lay before me. All the things I needed. I took everything and went out.
She stood before me and I had to swallow. Why had I never really seen her? I mean, I've always known that she was a pretty woman, but now In her white nightgown, she looked absolutely amazing. It was the colour. It made a good contrast to her darker skin.
"May I come in?" She nodded and I walked straight to the couch, and lay all my things on the table. She came to me and looked at the stuff.
"What is all this?" I sat and showed her the plate. She took a step backward. I understood it, but I took a little into my mouth and chewed.
"Oh my god," she shouted and grabbed the plate from me. I swallowed hard. "Why did you do that?" she asked, while she recycled the plate with the gagh.
"I want to apologize."
"With that?" I nodded. "Honestly, Captain, that was not necessary. Computer, coffee, black."
"I thought it would be nice, to share some of your Klingon culture and show you that I respect you." She gave me the coffee, and I drank it to take away the bad taste.
"I appreciate it, but I, for one, can't stand to eat that."
I sighed. "Okay, then this was wrong." I looked at the table. "There are other things I could do," I offered and picked up the knife.
"Don't. Whatever you're thinking, please don't do it." She sat beside me. "Please, I don't think that you should do it. Any of this."
"But I need you to take me seriously. I want you to know I am really sorry about my behaviour earlier." She took my hand.
"You said sorry. That's enough for me," she said earnestly.
"I'm so sorry, I hope "
"Stop it. Boy, you're a hard sell," she said and smiled.
"Okay, I'll stop."
"Thank Kahless." She smiled more. "Captain, I like you more when you are pissed at me then when you are not."
"That's good to know." A little silence came up. For me, it was time to go.
"So, you looked at the new padd?"
I thought I would barf while she ate the gagh. God knows how she stood to really swallow it. I could never do it. But the Captain, she was a really brave woman, and it was a nice thing.
She stayed a long time and even though I was already in my nightgown, it was okay for me. It had been a long time since I had a quiet evening with good conversation. Surprisingly, we never switched to business talk, so I learned a new side of my Captain. Yeah, my Captain. I mean, she was my Captain, but this evening, I had Kathryn as my guest. I liked it. A lot. I had never thought so, but I found her interesting and very easy to talk to and she would listen to everything I needed to say. Late in the evening, a thought came into my head. Behind her command presence was a great woman, with a sense of humor and feeling. She was pretty, too.
I would like to do this more often was my thought before I went to sleep.
I looked at her as she came on the bridge. She saw me at my station and winked at me. I repressed my laugher to show her the respect she deserved. She talked with Chakotay, gave a few orders, and made her way to the ready room.
"B'Elanna, would you please come with me?"
I look up in surprise. "Sure, Captain." We went in, and I waited for her orders. She walked to the couch and looked at me. I followed her and sat, waiting.
"I'm sure you will hear it from somebody, so I thought I would tell you in person. But first, I had fun yesterday." I looked at her. "I mean the evening, not the thing in Engineering."
I got it and nodded. "I liked it, too." I smiled. "Well, I could do without the eating-worms-part." She laughed.
"Yeah, me, too. That's the reason I have to talk to you." I nodded again. "After I left you, I made a beeline to the Doctor."
"Are you sick?" I asked, worried.
"Not anymore. I was last night; that's why I went to him. Of course, I had to tell him why I was sick. I'm sure he was up the whole night, spreading rumours all over the ship."
I did everything I could not to laugh out loud.
"So, please, don't laugh behind my back, with the others." She smiled. "Laugh with me."
I did as she asked and laughed. "Oh, I wished I had seen his face when you told him."
"I'm sure he will show you, if you ask him," she said, and I held my sides. Laughing hurt! "Tell me, what do you think? Speak freely. That's an order."
"You really are a nimrod, Captain." It comes out before I can stop it. "Thanks for the great visual image." I wiped the tears from my face and got serious.
"Please, promise me not to tell anyone."
"That's a promise I will gladly give."
"B'Elanna, you're a genius!" There it was. Her shy smile. I didn't see it often because, she was usually so proud. Proud or angry, not shy. But I got it today. That made me smile. I saw Carey shoot looks at us, since I was in Engineering a lot more than usual lately. I knew B'Elanna had told him why and I think, in the meantime, the whole ship knew about our little game. I held the padd up. It had the 16th brain teaser on it. "I give up. Even with your help, I'm not smart enough to make it." She took the padd, made a few tips and gave it to me. I looked and nodded. "No help." She laughed.
"Should I kill it?" she asked. An idea cane into my head.
"No. I have a better idea." I went a bit closer to her. "Explain."
"Sure, no big deal." She saw the face I made. "Well, Captain, the thing is "
"No, not now. Tonight, over dinner, my quarters. Okay?" She looked around, while I looked in her face. I would love to know what she was thinking.
"I don't know." She hesitated.
"Resistance is futile." Oh, her look was sweet. I knew she hated those words. That's why I had said it. Her expression went blank and then
"I will comply." I couldn't stop the laugh in my throat. "What time?"
"1900?" I said, while I went to the doors.
"I accept," she called behind me.
I was a little nervous. Again, I looked in the mirror. Should I change into one of my uniforms? One minute, I thought so, the next, I wasn't sure. What was she thinking about this dinner? Better question, what did I think of this? I went to the table and lit the candle. A minute later, I blew it out. With the candle, it was more romantic. What would she think I like candlelight. Even with Chakotay, I lit some candles, so what? Was B'Elanna not worthy of it?
"Oh, enough," I said out loud and lit the candle again. I made sure the padd was in reach, so I had a prop when if silence lasted too long.
The door chimed, and it startled me. Oh, what a fuss, I thought and called her in.
"Absolutely punctual, just how I like it." She came to me and stood on the other side of the table.
"You are spoiled, because of Seven." I held up both hands.
"Not this again." She laughed.
"You are the beginner, not me." She looked me up and down. "You look nice, Captain."
"Please, we are both off duty. Do you think you could call me Kathryn?" One look said more than a thousand words. "Oh, okay. I understand. I just thought, you did it before so but, forget it."
"No, I'm sorry, you took me by surprise. I would feel honoured to call you so." I laughed at that.
"In that case, I'm honoured that you will." I went to the replicator. "You are lucky. I didn't burn our food."
"Can I help?"
"The wine, maybe?"
The dinner was over, and we sat on the couch, talking. About everything and nothing. She was absolutely at ease. I liked it.
"So, how many white lies do you tell, say, on a day like today?" I looked at her in surprise. I don't really count.
"Today? Not once. Other days? Six or seven. Seldom more then ten. Why?"
"I always wondered if you do. You are very good at it. I can't tell when you do."
"That's, how it goes. I mean, how it should go." I took a sip of wine. "I could not have the entire bridge crew knowing that I lie to them." I smiled. "But Chakotay is very good at knowing when I do it."
"I should ask him for a lesson."
"Why would you? It would make problems for you. When I told you to do something and we both knew I was lying, it wouldn't work." She thought about it.
"More wine?" I asked, just for a new topic. She nodded.
"So, Kathryn, what is it with you?" I looked at her in surprise.
"What?" She pointed to the padd on the table. "Oh yes. I forgot about it." I took it and gave it to her. No thoughts about the prop. It was not needed. "Well, I just can't get it." She stood up, came behind me, and held her arm over my shoulder so that we both could see it.
"Here. This is the problem. Think about it." Her voice was low and her breath tickled my ear. I needed to close my eyes. My thoughts were everywhere but on the padd.
"Kathryn?" I opened my eyes. "What are you thinking?" Another breath came from her and made me shudder.
I took the padd and lay it down. Her arm was gone and I stood up and turned to her. Her face was filled with questions I could not answer. One step and I stood right before her. I could feel the great heat from her body, and I smelled her unique scent. She stood perfectly still while my hand went up to cup her face.
"I think about how beautiful you are," I whispered in her face. Her eyes closed and she snuggled into my palm. "Could I just ki " Tender lips touched mine, and I forgot to breathe. So sweet, so delicious. I tasted the wine we both had. I let my tongue quickly slip between her lips. She moaned lightly and I did it again, longer this time. Her tongue came forward and greeted mine with soft strokes. Where her tongue touched my lips, there were tingles. I moaned into the kiss, as she deepened it and her arms came around me. I felt her strength when she moved me so our bodies touched.
"Oh, my God," was all she said, as we both needed to breathe and our foreheads leaned against the other's.
"Lanna, make love to me." I heard her moan and felt it too. Her growl became louder as my tongue slipped over her ear.
"Kahless, woman." She shuddered a little. "Trying to kill me?"
"No. Trying to seduce you." I kissed her. "Is it working?"
"Oh, yeah." I kissed her again, but with her strength, she broke out of my arms. "But I can't."
"What? Why?" An answer flew to my brain. "Please, I'm not just the Captain. I'm also a woman with needs. Needs that you could answer."
She shook her head to stop me. "I know that and I can see it, too." She pushed me lightly back, until I sat again. "But you need to understand, my Klingon half will break through and I'm sorry, but I don't think you could handle that."
"B'Elanna, I want you. Tender, rough, whatever you want. I can take it." She stood before me and her eyes showed me she didn't believe me. "I promise."
She knelt, and took both of my hands in hers. "With how many Klingons have you ?"
"None, but "
"No Kathryn, no buts. You don't know what happens with me, when it hits me." She kissed my hands softly. "Please believe me, it is safer for you that I go right now." She kissed me again, lightly on the forehead, stood up und left.
I sat there, unable to believe she walked away from me.
I had almost paced a hole in the floor in my quarters and it solved nothing. How could I show her that I was serious? That I was willing to take everything she would give me. I wanted to take her in my arms and never let her go. I believed she was the one person who could see me as I am. Kathryn, not the Captain. Especially since she could handle the Captain Kathryn and the private Kathryn together and would not cross the line drawn down the middle of the bridge. I stopped pacing and looked at the ceiling.
"Computer, locate Lt. Torres."
"Lt. Torres is on Holodeck One."
"Which program is she running?"
"Klingon battle simulations." I began pacing again.
"What is she doing?" I murmured quietly.
"She is fighting against six holocharacters."
"That was a theoretical question, Computer," I said as I collected all of my bravery and left my quarters with fast steps.
I went in without a plan on how to win B'Elanna for myself. But I knew if I didn't talk to her now I would always regret it. The moment I walked around the corner I was in the middle of a fight. A big Klingon warrior saw me and came toward me with a shiny bat'leth.
"Computer, hold program." Everything stopped at this order, except one Klingon/Human hybrid who turned around to look at me.
"What the hell are you doing here, Captain?" I was shocked. How dare she call me Captain in this situation?
"We need to talk." I thought about my next words. "You can not deny what you feel for me. Not after what happened in my quarters."
"Get out, before I throw you out, Captain."
"Please don't call me Captain. I can't stand it right now."
"Okay, Kathryn," she said spitefully. "Will you now go?"
"No." I stood my ground. "I will not go."
"Fine. Then I'll go." She tried to get out, but I held her back by one arm. Her reaction was fast and in the next moment, I leaned against the wall, both of my wrists in her firm grasp. It hurt badly.
"Don't fight against your feelings, B'Elanna. Please, let me love you."
"How could I? Kathryn, I would hurt you. More than you can imagine." She loosened the grip around my wrists. "Would you like it, to call the Doctor every time we had sex? Is that your wish?"
"Made love," I protested.
"No. When I'm like this, it has nothing to do with love. It's just passion."
"Passion is a part of love." I should have known better than to discuss this with her while she so desperately wanted to leave. But I didn't know what else I could do, except "Lanna, please."
"Please what, Kathryn? Should I show you what I mean? Should I show you how it is to be raped by a person who can't control her actions?" Again, my wrists hurt because she raised the pressure slightly. I winced and moaned in pain. "This, Kathryn, this is just a little bit of my whole power. You can't stand even that. How will you live after I give you everything?"
"I'm also strong and " She let go of my wrists and went a few steps back.
"You mean, you can take me?"
I took a step forward. "Yes, damn it," I yelled at her. She looked at me and a shudder went through me.
"Okay, but don't say later I didn't warn you." Within seconds, I stood with my back against the wall again, my wrists firmly in her hands, beside my head. Her mouth on my neck, she nibbled and bit my flesh. When our mouths met, I had trouble playing along with her. She pressed her tongue deeply in my mouth. I moaned loudly.
Suddenly one wrist was free because her hand travelled over my body to find my breast. She began to knead it roughly, but I felt more and more passion running through me.
"jIH dok!" B'Elanna exclaimed fiercely in a growl. I heard, but I didn't understand and didn't know how to answer. "jIH dok!" There it was again. The pain in my wrist wouldn't let me think. Suddenly it was over.
"You have to say maj dok." Her voice was low, but strong. She got off me a little, so she could see in my eyes. There were tears in her eyes. "Say it, please."
I didn't know what it meant yet, but I trusted her with my life in this moment, so
It was very quietly said and I almost said it again when a loud growl came from her. The next thing I felt were her teeth in my throat, right under the neck of my tunic. The pain overwhelmed me but, in the next second, I felt her soft tongue on the same place licking the blood away. I almost didn't believe it. The ritual bite. She marked me. Now I knew what I had said and couldn't believe it. We were married by a traditional Klingon ritual. Oh, my God, I was married! I couldn't even believe that she did that the first time we made love. That meant more to me than words ever could. I was hers now and I loved that.
Then I felt her hands on my face and opened my eyes. She looked straight in mine.
"Take me first." I looked at her. She placed my hands on her chest and with the aid of her power, we ripped her shirt open. I didn't understand, so I just looked at her. "Please, take me." Again she leaned in to me, and her mouth found my ear. "It will calm me a bit, so when it's your turn "
Oh, now I understood. I gave myself a push. I didn't want to disappoint her, so I took her hands and turned us around. Now it was her who stood against the wall. My kiss was hard like hers, but she could take it. More so, I thought, she needed to. The taste of my own blood on her tongue made me a bit dizzy.
With her shirt opened at the chest, I had free access to her throat and breasts. Her nipples were already hard. I bit one lightly. Her moan was low, so I bit harder.
"Yes," came from her. I fell in love again with her soft, dark skin and licked it a while before I returned to her breasts. I bit her again. "Oh, Kahless," I heard a moan from her. To hold her in place, I brought my leg between hers. She took the opportunity and began to rub her center on my thigh. I brought one hand between us and could feel her wetness through her pants. Her hips bucked off of the wall. "Kathryn." I looked at her. "Go down."
That was an order I would gladly follow. I fell on my knees without any complaints, and, in the same motion, pulled down her pants. The second I smelled her musky scent, I froze. I took a deep breath and swam in the scent. Slowly, I became aware of my duty again and I tried to clear my head. Her hips came forward, so that she just leaned with her shoulders on the wall now. "Please." With that, I knew, my time to smell her was over and the time to taste her had come. I leaned in and lay my lips on her skin, just above her darks curls. With two fingers I stroked through her and moaned myself. She was hot and so wet. I licked the juice from my finger, tasting her for the first time and decided that I liked her very much. Her loud moans told me that she saw it and I smiled. I pressed my finger in her again and soon found her opening. With long strokes I thrust into her. My mouth found her clit and my tongue rolled around it. Her legs began to tremble and grew unsteady. When it hit her, her juice increased and I swallowed everything she gave me.
Her legs gave way and I helped her lay down with me above her. I began to kiss her, letting her taste herself. After a few deep kisses, she pushed me away enough to talk. "More." I blinked in surprise, but when I felt the strength return to her body, I began again, not going down completely. While my fingers thrust hard into her, I bit one nipple and kneaded the other breast. Soon she was on the edge and I pushed her over it. Her third orgasm came right behind. I pressed my thumb on her clit. The fourth wave brought her back to the ground.
The fourth brought me back and I could think again. I felt her hotness on my naked leg and knew I must have her, now. I grabbed her and turned us around so that I knelt above her. I saw the fear in her eyes, but couldn't do anything about it. I wished I could, but I needed to loose the passion I felt for her.
I ripped off her tunic and pants until she lay there only in her underwear. I tasted the skin and nipped a line to her breasts, where I pulled her bra away to take one nipple between my teeth. She moaned a bit from the pain but more from the lust.
To hear her made me want her more and I went down on her, while my hands stayed on her breasts, taking care of them. My tongue slid into her bellybutton and she squirmed. I travelled lower, biting a way to her center, and kissed the soaked lips. Her back came off the ground. I didn't like it and pushed her hard back on the ground. Now, I felt her hands on my head and looked up to her. The fear was still in her eyes, outweighing the lust now. I didn't know what to say.
"Go on," she said and when I dropped my head between her legs, she lay back again.
My nails were deep in her flesh as I pulled my hands down her body. She shouted loudly in pain. I took her clit and sucked hard on it. Again, she shouted, but this time from the feeling of my rough tongue on her clit. I took her buttocks in my hands and lifted her up a little, to have better access to her.
"Oh," she shrieked in surprise when I thrust into her so hard I had to hold her against me. I paused to take care of her clit and licked full over her and sucked on the soft lips. "God, no." I thought that was it. I went back and made her come with the first touch on her clit and the hard thrusting I was still doing.
I felt my fifth orgasm when she shouted my name. Then she fell silent and I could tell she had passed out. I got off of her and touched her cheek lightly. "Katie?" I looked over her body and saw the marks, scratches and bites, I made. Her whole upper body was bloody and a lot of marks looked very deep. I always forget how hard I bite.
"Please, Katie, wake up." I took her head and laid it on my legs. "Please, say something." She moaned, but nothing really understandable. "Computer, replicate a blanket." I placed it over her and pulled my clothes on as much as I could and searched for my communicator, pressing it with shaky fingers. "Torres to the Doctor. I need you on Holodeck One. Now."
Blue sparkles and there he was. "Lieutenant? What happened?" He knelt beside us and began to check her.
"We I She " I looked down at my lover and felt the tears coming. I told her and I should not have let it happened. Never.
"You had a fight with her? With the Captain? Really, Lieutenant, what could she have done to deserve this?" he asked me with a tremulous voice.
"We didn't fight," I growled.
"Yeah, whatever." He looked at her again. "Is this a bite? You bit her? Why?"
"I'm hers now," she whispered, in a very low voice before I could say something. We looked at Kathryn. Her eyes fluttered open then.
"Kathryn? Oh, thank God." I turned to her and put my arms around her. My mouth was busy kissing her face all over.
"Careful, Lanna, I'm breakable," her low voice reminded me. I laughed a little and looked in her eyes.
"Now you believe me, don't you?"
"Um." We both looked to the Doctor, who stood and looked at us unpleasantly. "Captain, come to sickbay when you have time." With that, he was gone.
"It is true, then? I am yours?" I tightened my hold on her, not painfully.
"Yes. I have you and I will keep you."
"Good." She winced when she tried to get up. "I believe I should attend sickbay." Her eyes were full of worry. "You don't think I am weak, do you?"
"Kahless, no. How could I?"
"Lanna, I passed out and I'm very much in pain." Her voice was so low, I thought I didn't hear right
"Kathryn, listen to me. I was completely out of control. More than this is not coming." I saw fear flare in her eyes. "No wait. That didn't sound right. I mean, I can be tender. This," I pointed to her chest, "this won't happen every time. I do have some control over myself. Today I just had no control because I've wanted to do this for so long now that I could not hold back. But it is not going to happen again." I kissed her lightly because more would cause her pain. "I promise. We will build a safety net, okay?"
"I'm sorry, but I think I will need it. Not always, but just in case, you know?"
"I know and I understand it." I didn't hide my smile. "And, hey. Today you took more than Tom ever has, so I'm proud of you."
"You are crazy, B'Elanna. I'm not dead only because it was passion and not anger that controlled you."
"My passion for you, yes." I rested her bodyweight more on me. "I guess we should go now."
"No. Transport please." She took a painful breath. "I will be able to explain when the others see the scar, but they shouldn't see me like this."
While B´Elanna was gone, the Doctor seemed to feel the need to speak with me, as he often does, forgetting who the ranking officer is.
"Captain, are you nuts?"
"Well, you have several wounds, bites, and scratches, a broken wrist and a few almost broken ribs," he explained. "How could you let her do that?"
I moaned in pain and he gave me a hypospray for it. I waited for it to work before I answered.
"Doctor, I had to let her do that. I love her and her Klingon side is a part of her, so "
"You love her?"
"Yeah." I pulled on my Captain's face. "Do you think I would sleep with her, let her do that with me, when I'm not in love with her? I'm not promiscuous."
He took a few steps back, which was ridiculous. I was no threat to him since he hadn't yet healed me. "Doctor, I appreciate your concern, but I'm an adult woman and a Captain, so believe me, I know what I am doing."
"But Captain "
"No buts, Doctor. I will not speak about it. Now, B'Elanna is coming back, and I would prefer she not know exactly what is wrong with me."
"Then we should begin your treatment."
I nodded and lay back, while he began to work. The sound of the doors made me turn my head and I saw my lover, no, my wife coming straight to my side.
"How are you?" she asked, a little afraid.
"Fit for round two," I told her to take the worry from her. She laughed. "I think I need a bit of sleep, though," I said seriously.
"Anything you want." She lightly stroked through my hair and let her palm rest on my cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't. It was wonderful." She looked at me like I was crazy. "Well, I can do without this," I said, nodding to indicate the Doctor. "But since it also brought me so much in passion, I think we will do it again, sometime." She stayed silent, just looking me in the eyes, searching for I don't know. Then the Doctor broke in.
"Excuse me, Lieutenant. I need you to back off a little."
"Sure," she said, without letting go of my eyes, and stepped back.
The Doctor came into view and pointed to my throat. "I'm sure you'll want to keep this, right?"
Forever," I said and looked at B'Elanna. I saw the tears she didn't want to fall on her cheeks. I looked back to the Doctor. "Doc, I trust your confidence with this. If I hear even one word of gossip, I'm coming back and erase your program. Understood?"
Once in my quarters, she took me to bed and held me carefully, while I worked on getting healthy through deep sleep.
God knows why, but I never thought the almighty Captain of the U.S.S Voyager snored. Maybe it was because of the medication she got from the Doctor. Even if that wasn't not the cause, though, I wouldn't care. All I cared was that she was lying in my arms, sleeping peacefully. Her face without any signs of trouble. I thought that meant she wasn't troubled by our getting together. I hoped so.
My thoughts went back to the Holodeck. She was so fearful, but she trusted me enough to go on. She was a great lover my lover now. Oh wait, not lover. Wife. The scar I could clearly see on her throat proved it to me. I had married her. Well, B'Elanna, that was fast. However, I would do it again in a heartbeat. As long she wanted me, I would be there. Right here. Beside her, my arms lightly around her body. That body which looks even smaller without any clothes
on. That body with the creamy skin and the thousands of freckles all over. That body with the most beautiful head, the most perfect lips, and the deepest eyes. I stroked lightly over her cheek. Just to reassure myself it really happened. It was hard to believe I lay beside my wife of what, four hours?
Even though I had touched her lightly, she leaned into my touch and murmured something. I smiled and tried to understand what she said.
"Don't leave me," was all I could understand. My arms tightened around her, pulling her closer to me.
"Never. I promise," I whispered quietly back and sealed my promise with a kiss on her
I looked in the mirror and made a face when I saw the problem. Carefully, I tried to pull on the scab when her voice stopped me.
"Don't. It needs to heal alone."
I turned around and smiled a bit. "My turtleneck will make it hurt." She came to me and looked at it. I lay my head back to give her better access.
"Maybe a tissue. When you lay it underneath the turtleneck, it should help." I nodded and put my arms around her. "You are tired."
"Well, I think I'm allowed to be since someone wakes me up to play around." I sighed. "Four times."
"You didn't like it?"
"I loved it." She laughed and I looked up. "Was it okay?"
"What do you mean?"
I took her hand and led her back to the bedroom. Once there, I sat on the bed, pulling her down beside me. "I didn't mark you." She laughed again, but lightly. "Why is that funny? I mean, I have the feeling I disappointed you because I didn't."
"Kathryn, you could have tried, but not succeeded."
"You wouldn't let me?" I asked in a shrill voice and went to stand up. She held me in place.
"I would have loved it, but you can't mark me because your teeth are not sharp enough." Finally, I understood. "If you had tried, I would have had a bad wound, but not a fine, healthy mark. That not the way for the ritual, so don't worry. "
"Damn it, human teeth suck." She laughed. I pushed her back until she lay on the bed with me above her. "So, you're not hurt, or angry, that I didn't "
"Oh, no. I'm thankful." I kissed her, deeply. "For that, I'm thankful, too." She pulled me onto her.
"You should be." I snuggled more into her body. "Am I too heavy?"
She put her arms around me. "No. I like it when you lay on me."
"That's good, because I like it, too." I kissed her lightly on the collarbone. "You know, I got an idea about marking you." With that, I got silence. I didn't know how I should say it, though, and I hesitated.
"Well, let's hear it," she encouraged me.
"Maybe it will be better if I show you." I looked at her and, after she nodded, got up and left the bedroom. I walked to the replicator. When my order came, I trembled just a bit at the sight. I took it and returned to the bedroom. B'Elanna lay how I left her, except she was leaning on her forearms with her upper body propped up. I stood in the doorway, letting my arm hang beside me and holding my hand out for her to see. Her eyes darkened slightly and she nodded slowly. I went to the bed and knelt beside her. "You're sure?"
"Absolutely." I nodded and lay it beside her. I crawled onto the bed so I lay above her again. "I think we need to turn you on a little first, don't you think?"
We kissed for a long time. As her hands began to travel over my back, I let my hand go to her forehead and stroke her ridges lightly. I liked to touch them and she enjoyed the caresses. For me, it was a very intimate thing to do. Our kisses grew deeper and I pulled her nightwear open in order to kiss a line from her throat to her breasts. Her moan told me she was ready for more. My hand found the tool I needed to mark her. She felt my motion and took a deep breath. I sat up so that I rested on her hips and looked down at her. Her eyes lay on the shiny Klingon knife I held up. She nodded and I bent to kiss her throat before I cut her there. Her hands stopped me just before I cut her.
"If you don't mind, I would like it another place." I looked into her eyes questioningly. She took my hand and guided it above her left breast. "Over my heart. Please?"
I smiled and moved down a bit. "Your wish is my command." I kissed the skin lightly. "Here?" Another kiss, a bit to the left. "Here?" One more, more to the left. "Or here?"
"On the second spot." I went back and kissed it again. "Yes, right there."
I lay the knife on the skin where my lips had been a second before. My mouth found her ear. The moment I applied more pressure on the knife, I whispered, "I love you, Lanna, I love you so much." I felt the sharp blade go through her flesh and heard her moan. I leaned down and took care of the wound. With lips and tongue, I took her blood into me. As we kissed, she tasted her own blood and it made the passion in her burn.
The rest of the day, we were busy with two things. Sleep was one. The other, well
Fortunately, we were both off duty for the day.
"May I?" I looked up from my food and saw her standing beside me, carrying a tray of food for herself.
"Of course, Captain, take a seat."
"Thank you." She sat and ate for a couples of minutes in silence.
"So, Captain. Does it work?" She looked up.
"The tissue." She understood and a hand went up to her throat, touching my mark just beneath the edge of the turtleneck. She nodded and smiled briefly. "How is your wound?"
"Oh, I can tolerate the pain so far; don't worry about it, Captain." I lowered my head to hide my grin.
"Work?" She asked and pointed to the padd beside my food.
I lay a hand over it to hide the information. "Don't spoil the surprise."
"You made more? Why?"
I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't want you to get bored," I explained. That was just one reason, but she didn't need to know the others now.
"Oh, I think I will be busy with nicer things." She looked innocent, but touched her throat again. Instantly I felt the heat rolling over me. I had go. Now. Or I would take her, right then, on the table in the mess hall, with an audience. My hands clenched the padd so strongly, my knuckle were white.
"Excuse me," I pushed through clenched teeth and stood up.
"Of course," she said and I knew she loved it.
I pressed against the wall when the doors opened and she came into her quarters. She left the lights off, which was good. She just lit a few candles and went to the replicator. "Red wine, one," she ordered. I got quietly behind her and pressed my body into hers. "What ?"
"Hush," I ordered. She waited in silence while I just felt her body with mine and smelled her. My hands travelled up and cupped her breasts. "Someone was a naughty girl today." I felt her tremble. "It took all my will power to leave you." I nibbled on her neck. "I wished I could take you there, right on the table." She moaned low. "I would have pulled your uniform open, so that everyone could see that I marked you." I actually pulled on her turtleneck baring my mark. "I would make you scream my name, so everyone knows you are mine." With one leg, I opened hers from behind. "Think about it. Both of us in the mess hall, on the table, with me above you." She moaned again and I let my hand go down in her pants. She was wet like me. I stroked lightly on her opening. "Everybody would look at us, while I kissed your breasts." The trembling began, and she laid her head back on my shoulder. "They watch when my fingers thrust deep in your hot, wet walls," I said, doing just that. She whimpered. "You want to come desperately. You need me so much, you beg me loudly."
"Oh, yes, please," she begged me at once and my thrusting went faster.
"And finally, I will make you come." I touched her clit lightly and she exploded.
"Jesus," she moaned. I smiled and held her while she calmed down, kissing her softly.
When she was calmer, she took a deep breath.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you, too." She turned around and we looked into each other's eyes.
"Are you hungry?"
I nodded. "Let me replicate something."
"I don't need food," she said and pulled me onto the couch.
"Oh, boy," I sighed, while she undressed me.
My eyes opened slowly and at the same time, my lips curled up and I smiled at the sleeping woman beside me. Her arms were around me, as always. Even when we slept, she protected me. I liked it. I liked it a lot, so I snuggled more in her embrace. Every time we lay like this, I was just a woman who was with the woman she loved. There was no Captain, no ship, no Alpha Quadrant, no enemies. Just me and her. And the best of it, she knew it, too.
I let my hand travel over her body, just lightly, until I came to my own throat. I felt the light scar. Without this, I would still think it was a dream. A wonderful, powerful dream, but the real thing was so much better.
"You are awake early." I lay my head back until I could see her face. Her eyes were still closed, but there was a little smile on her face, too.
"How long do we have?" She opened one eye.
That was enough for me. "Computer, what time is it?"
"The time is 0723."
"Plenty of time, if you ask me."
I laughed. "What were you thinking?"
Her second eye opened and she giggled. "First, I love it when you laugh. You do it so seldom."
"And second?" I asked while I kissed her collarbone lightly.
"That I should go home to get a new uniform and shower."
I broke away from the arms around me and sat up. Seconds passed before I spoke up.
"You can have a real shower." I have a water shower in my quarters. She understood at once.
She took my hand. "Kathryn," she said quietly.
"What? I don't understand you. Why, for God's sake, don't you move in with me?"
"When I move in with you, it would make our relationship official."
"Lanna, we carry our marks." I touched the mark I made lightly. "We are married. How could it be more official?"
"That is just a Klingon ceremony."
"Does that mean nothing to you?"
"More than you ever will know, but it is not what you believe. For you, we have to be married before our friends, with a ceremony, rings, and a cake."
"And that would be wrong?" I asked.
"No, Kathryn, of course not. But think about it. Everybody would know it. So, it is just between you and me." She touched my throat where she marked me. I lay back besides her, just our hands touching. I knew I loved her, more than any other person in my life. I wanted her around me the moment I went off duty. So why not make it not official? There could be only one reason.
"You would not marry me, before them?" I looked at her. "That's why you don't want to make it official."
"Kathryn, no! I love you. I would not have marked you otherwise. Please never doubt that."
"And I love you, so why don't we make it official?"
"With a wedding?" she asked.
"Not at once," I said. "There is no rush, but if we don't tell them and then announce we are going to marry again, following my traditions, they'll be surprised.
"That's true," she agreed.
"And, I don't want to sneak around. I will openly eat with you in the mess hall, or I'll come see you in Engineering any time I want, without having to come up with a reason that's a lie." I fell silent because she looked at me seriously.
Then she nodded slowly. "I don't think I like the idea of me in a wedding dress."
"You don't have to," I said to myself and missed her next comment.
"Will you wear one?"
"Oh, my God, no. I think we both should wear just dress uniforms." She turned my head toward her and I saw the smile on her face.
"Not would, we will." It took a moment for my brain to let her words sink in, but then I closed my eyes and sighed.
"I'm a nimrod." She kissed me lightly. "Well, I always thought it would be romantic, when my love proposed, but this is even better." I laughed with her, happy that she understood me and would do it. "So, how will we do it? Ship wide comm channel?" We laughed heartily.
"No, really, how?" she asked more seriously.
"I was thinking I could give a party, and we could go together. Simple, but effective," I replied.
She turned onto her side and laid her arm over my belly. "What kind of party?"
I laughed. "I don't know yet." She kissed my shoulder. "Maybe a beach party so I can show you off. In your really small, tight bathing suit. The black one." Her mouth travelled to my neck. I lay my head to one side to give her better access
"Tell me more," she whispered, just before nibbling on my earlobe. I continued to talk until I could only moan.
The door to my ready room opened and Chakotay came in. I hid my smile, as I saw him frown over the padd I gave him this morning.
"You got a minute?" he asked. I nodded and he took a seat. "Congratulations."
"Thank you." Now I can't hide my smile anymore. "Anything else?" He nodded and smiled also.
"I wonder, is this information confidential?"
"For the moment, yes. But in a week, I'm giving a party and B'Elanna and I will go together." I stood up and went over to the couch, sitting beside him. "Will you come to my party?"
"Oh, yes. There's no way I want to miss Tom's reaction."
"You think he will take it badly?" I hadn't spent a second thinking about Tom, until now.
"No, just very surprised. Like everyone else."
"You are not very surprised." He shrugged his shoulders. "Why not?"
"The truth?" I nodded and he sighed. "B'Elanna told me a little while ago."
"What!?" I thought I needed to talk with B'Elanna. She should have at least warned me she told him.
"It's not her fault. I confronted her about her happiness lately and guessed at the cause."
"You thought it was because of me?" Now I was really surprised. I thought we were very careful
"Truthfully? No. I thought she and Tom made up. She set me straight the moment I mentioned it."
"Good. I would hate to hurt you." He laughed
"Is it serious between you two?" I hesitated only a second before I pulled my turtleneck down and showed him just how serious it was. "Wow. That must have hurt."
"Yes, awfully." I got serious. "It is the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Better than your pips?" he asked with a smile.
"Pips or B'Elanna well, I believe she is my soulmate, so, yes. Better than my pips."
"Sounds good to me."
I laughed lightly and waved a hand. "Enough. I'm on duty and can't go for a walk on Cloud Nine. Not yet."
He cleared his throat. "So, I take it that the new name of the Captain's Quarters are, for the time being, confidential, right?"
A blush crept over my face. Still, I wanted to hear it. "Could you do me a favor?"
"Of course." I explained and got a smile, so that my blush grew. But he did it.
The next moment, I heard myself ask. "Computer, where is Lt. Torres?"
"Lieutenant Torres is in the Janeway/Torres Quarters."
Oh yeah, that was it. Just hearing those words, even from the Computer, made me smile more. "Sounds good to me," I said quietly.
"Should I change it again?" he asked.
Another idea came to mind. "No. Could you leave me alone, for a minute?"
"Sure." He left and the second I was alone, I called B'Elanna.
"Yes, Captain?" her voice came to me.
"I'm alone in my ready room and would like to show you something."
"Kathryn, you're on duty."
I laughed. "Not that, you perv. Listen. Computer, where is Lt. Torres?"
"Lieutenant Torres is in the Janeway/Torres Quarters." I heard her laugh and knew she liked it every bit like me.
"This is great, but, I thought until next week, we weren't telling anyone."
"Well, I gave Chakotay the news this morning. And, for him, it wasn't really a surprise, so "
"He told you," she broke in.
"How could he not? I'm the Captain."
"Oh yeah, I forgot."
"Ouch." She laughed again. Good God, how could I ever live without that? "However, I will change it back right now. Will I see you later?"
"Computer, where am I?" she asked.
"You are in the Janeway/Torres Quarters."
"Okay, I get it. See you soon," I told her.
"Hurry. Torres out."
I smiled at her way of ending the conversation. When Seven did it, I could climbs walls. But hey, B'Elanna is not only my fellow crewmember, she is also my lover and my wife. That means she and I are equal. Not always, like when we are on duty, but when we are alone in some situation, we will be equal. Especially when one of us is off duty. Usually she is the one off duty because I am seldom completely off duty.
"Janeway to Chakotay. Change it please."
"Thank you. Janeway out." I leaned back on the couch, closed my eyes and waited for the end of my shift.
I looked up when I heard the doors to Kathryn's quarters open. She was on duty, so I wondered why she came over.
"Hey, you," she greeted me . I accepted the kiss and lay back on the bed. I decided this is the best room to wait in when she wasn't already there. That way, if she has someone with her, they can't see me.
She sat beside me. "Well, I live here. And you?"
"I live here, too, just not officially yet."
She laughed. "That's the reason I'm here." I sat up and waited for her to speak. "I decided we should have the party on the holodeck with a fine Earth program. Maybe a park, or a big garden."
"Sounds good," I said.
"So, you approve?"
"Yes, I approve," I said, smiling.
"Okay." She kissed me and then touched her comm badge. "Janeway to everyone." She looked me right in the eyes. "I have a surprise for you all. So please, join me on Holodeck One a week from today, at 1900." I put a hand in front of my mouth to hold back the laughter. "Oh, and people, it is a party, so if I see one uniform, I will throw that person in the brig immediately. And, Seven, it's an order, so you will come, too. Janeway out."
The second she closed the channel, I laughed loudly. "Where are you and what have you done with Captain Janeway?"
She laughed, too. "I'm Kathryn and what happened with the Captain, that's easy to explain." Her face got serious and she sat beside me. "I love you, Lanna," she said quietly.
I held her face in my hands. "I love you, too, Katie." We kissed softly. "Can you stay?"
She closed her eyes and sighed. "I wish I could." She sighed again. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." She opened her eyes. "Well, I've always known that you are a busy person, so I won't complain." She seemed a bit relieved, after my statement. "Can we do something tonight?"
"What could we do, without spoiling the surprise before next week?" She thought about it. I was, too.
"The holodeck," we said at the same time.
"After dinner," I decided.
"Your name or mine?" she asked.
"You do it. If nothing is free, you can override using your pips."
She laughed. "I won't do that."
"Okay, then I will do it."
"B'Elanna!" She sounded shocked.
"What? I will ask and if nothing is free, I will find the person and ask if we could exchange times," I explained quickly.
"Oh, okay, do that." She gave me a smile and stood up. "I must go.
"Tell you what. Let us meet in the holodeck. Give me the time and which one it is over the comm, when you know it."
I smiled up at her. "That sounds like a date."
"Well, I think we need to catch up on that, don't you?"
I stood up. "I have a date with the Captain. How exciting!"
She laughed, kissed me quickly and then left her Quarters. I stood there, smiling after her. Then I, too, left to make a few decisions for the evening. What should I wear for my first official, unofficial date with the Captain?
I stepped into the holodeck and looked around. There was an empty room; only one table stood in the middle. A man in a tux came to me.
"Ms. Torres?" I nodded. "Please follow me." He took me to the table and helped me sit. "Ms. Janeway will be there shortly."
"Thanks." He went away. I looked at the table, noticing the china, silverware and crystal. Well, when she planned something, she always did it with everything she was. I heard the soft music that started to play and twitched as a flower was suddenly held before my face. I took the single red rose and smiled at her. Kathryn came around in front of me. I dropped the rose in a vase with water.
"Hey," she said. I stood up to embrace her.
"Everything looks fantastic," I praised her.
She looked at me. "You're right." Her eyes fell on my chest, where her mark showed. "I am very thankful that you allowed me to see that tonight."
"I would show it every minute if I could." She stroked lightly over it.
"Should we eat? I have plans to dance with you for a long time and all the time we stand around here, we lose for that." I nodded and helped her sit.
The dinner was wonderful, partially because neither of us had to get up to serve the next course. We talked and laughed a lot the whole time. We held hands right on the table.
"We need to do this a lot more," she said as the meal came to an end.
"Absolutely." She stood up and held a hand out to me.
"Would you like to dance now?"
"Yes, very much," I replied and took her hand.
We danced almost an hour, without any words passing between us. She had her head on my shoulder. With her free hand, she played with the hair on my neck, while I stroked her back lightly.
"Warning: Holodeck time will expire in twenty minutes."
Her head came up. "So fast?"
I smiled shyly. "Well, I could only reserve it for two hours."
She looked understanding, but also questioning. "Why didn't you say something? I could have made four out of this."
I laughed. "I thought two hours would be enough for a first date." She smiled. "And I would prefer to make love to you in your quarters and not here." I felt the tremble go through her body.
Chakotay looked at me with a smile when I stood up to leave the ready room.
"Commander, I will go and get ready for the party," I said.
"Nervous?" I stepped back from the doors and they closed again.
"It will work out," he responded
I sighed. "I hope so. I can't think of all the problems that could happen, or I won't go tonight." I smiled slightly. "But B'Elanna will make me, I know."
He laughed. "Good for her." I paced the floor before him.
"Her? And me? I'm the Captain, and at the moment, I have more fear in me, than in all the previous years combined."
"That's because, tonight, you are not the Captain. You are Kathryn, who plans to tell and show a lot of people that you're a normal human being, completely in love with your girlfriend."
I stopped and looked at him. "My wife." A frown started on his forehead. I pulled down my turtleneck. "Forget?"
"Oh, yeah. I don't see it a lot, so it's easy to forget." I hid the mark again.
"You will have the whole evening to see it," I promised.
"Will we see the same on B´Elanna?" he asked.
"I don't know." I was hesitant to discuss this with him.
"What do you mean? You have marked her, haven't you?" He wasn't going to let this go.
"Easy, Chakotay. Yes, I marked her, but not on her throat."
He looked away. "That's enough knowledge for me." I laughed.
"Torres to Janeway." I smiled at Chakotay to let him know he could stay.
"Yes, Lanna?" I replied to her voice on the comm..
"You're late," she replied.
I saw Chakotay smile. Yeah, that's me. A Captain with a wife for only three weeks, and I am already a henpecked Captain. "Really? I'm sorry, the time just got away from me.
"Well, you need to change, and we need to talk before we go." So, that was it. Now things were getting a little bit too personal.
"Listen, I need to finish my talk with Chakotay, then I'm coming right away."
Her hesitation before answering showed us she was a bit ashamed of talking so freely. "Sure."
"See you in a bit. Janeway out." Chakotay stood up and looked at me.
"You'll see, everything will go alright." I nodded. He waited for me to leave, but I didn't take a single step. "Go, or your wife will give you a hard time." That made me smile. He said my wife.
"See you later." He nodded and I stepped forward through the door.
I stood in the doorway and smiled at my wife. "You look wonderful, absolutly fantastic." She turned around.
"Kathryn, I'm wearing just my underwear."
"And?" I gave her a wicked grin.
"You old " I brought a hand up to stop her.
"Stop it, or the old goes right back to her bridge, where she gets some respect for her person."
Her smile fell from her face. "You don't want to go?"
"I want, but I'm a little bit nervous."
"Why?" I went back in the living room and sat on the couch. "Because I don't know what will happen tonight," I replied.
She came to me, now with pants on. "Katie, nothing bad will happen."
"How could you know? What about Tom?"
She took my hands and stroked them lightly. "Tom and I are friends; he will be happy for me, for us," she assured me.
"I know." I closed my eyes.
"And the rest of the crew? Maybe they think that, as their Captain, I shouldn't have a relationship because my concentration will be on you and not on the ship."
"This is ridiculous!" she shouted. "You will be more at ease, so they can't say anything."
"And the law? What will you say about that?"
"What law?" she asked, confused.
I looked at her to see if she was serious. She was and I laughed quietly. "The Captain can't fraternise with her fellow crewmember."
She lay an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into her arms. "Katie, you're the best Captain we could ask for. No one will make a comment, trust me. And for the law: Screw it!" I laughed loudly at this. "I mean it. We are in the Delta Quadrant. When we come back and they say just one word about a court martial, we will find a lawyer and fight against it. With all the power we have. And believe me, the whole crew will stand up for you."
"Oh my, I think, you're going to make me cry." B'Elanna laughed and kissed my head.
"Will you come with me then?" I nodded. "Good." She put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up. "Could I get a kiss?"
I answered with the kiss. For a few minutes, we did nothing else. The bad thoughts flew away and I became more and more at ease. "You hit the shower, now, or we will be very late," she reminded me.
"That's too bad." I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply. When I let her go, she breathed fitfully. "Oh, boy." I giggled until I was under the shower. When I came back into the bedroom, she was sitting on the bed, completely dressed. Her blouse was white, and sets off her darker skin perfectly. And she has opened the front enough that everyone will see the scar. It wasn't like mine. How could it be? But I made it, so she loved the mark. "You wanted to talk about something?"
"Yes, that's right," she said.
"Okay, what's up?" I asked while I went to the closet to search for something nice to wear.
"Well, how should I say it?" She seemed unsure.
"Maybe, right away?" I suggested.
She sighed. "Okay. We are married, right?"
"After Klingon ritual, yes."
"They will know it, because " she let the words trail off.
"The scars," I ended for her and turned around. "It is a problem for you?"
"No! No, it´s just, that, well, I explained to Tom, while we were together, that if I were ever in a relationship with a woman, I would need to know which of us was the leader in the relationship." I finished with the clothes issue and sat beside her. Her look burned a hole in the floor.
"I understand," I said quietly.
"I have thought a lot about it since the last time, and now, I think, it is not really important."
"Well, if it's not important, why are we talking about it?" She looked up at my statement.
"I only want you to know in case Tom should say something to you about it."
I thought a moment about her words and then looked at her. "When you talked with Tom about it, you didn't think you would have this woman to woman relationship with the Captain."
"How could I? At that time, we barely spoke about anything except ship business."
"And now, you fear, that the Captain will automatically be the leader, right?" I queried.
"How could the Captain not be the leader?" I didn't hesitate for a second. I stood up and pulled her with me. I shoved my arm under hers.
"Please, take me to the party, leader." She looked at me with an open mouth. "That doesn't suit you, so close your mouth."
"Why?" she asked.
"Well, I'm the Captain "
"Yes, and that's why I don't understand." Her eyes widened for a second before her whole face hardened. "You can not order me to do this."
I laughed. "Lanna, please listen to me. Do you really think I would order it?" She nodded. I laughed again, harder. "You're so sweet, but I won't ever order you to do something when it is part of our relationship. Whenever I do that, knock me out, right that second." She smiled a bit, so I knew I was on the right track. "About that leader thing. I lead the whole ship, practically 24 hours a day. I don't really have much private time. It's very seldom I get eight hours of sleep at night without any calls." I hesitated. "Okay, right now it is normal, but it is rarely so quiet around here. So, I would like it very much, when we are alone, for you to lead me, sometimes." I thought a moment. "You know we can't do that regarding ship's business, though. I couldn't let you make decisions that might harm the ship."
She looked at me seriously. "I know."
"Good. Well, then, again, I would love it, if you were the Head of this House so I have one place where I'm not the Captain."
"Since this began, have I ever treated you like the Captain in here?"
"Yes, five minutes earlier. Just because I'm the Captain out there, doesn't mean I am here with you."
She thought about it for a moment while she studied me. "You mean it?"
She nodded slightly. "You know what that means?"
I smiled a bit, but got serious again when she didn't return my smile. "I will take your name."
"You don't have to," she told me.
"What if I want to?"
"I won't make you."
She was so stubborn. "Listen, I will take your name when I wait for you at the altar. Don't fight."
"Ok, ok, I won't fight." A silence came up and we both smiled.
"Wow, there's a lot the crew needs to know." I said.
"Well, they won't know until we go and tell them." She held her arm out. I went happily to her side.
The doors to the holodeck opened and we walked through them. Whatever I expected to happen, didn't. We stood there, and nobody paid attention to us. B'Elanna looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.
"I have always hated the call: Captain on the bridge, but now " I whispered. "How can we make a statement when nobody is looking at us."
"I need a drink," she whispered back.
"Go. Bring me something, too. Strong."
She smiled. "What did we decide earlier, about the orders?"
"Please?" I tried.
"Better." She walked away and I looked around the room. Until B'Elanna came back, nobody seemed to notice me, but the moment I took my drink, along with B'Elanna's free hand and leaned in to say something, all hell broke loose.
"Captain, there you are," Tom called and came right to us. "Hey, B'Elanna. You're at a party?" She rolled her eyes. I hid my smile.
"Well, Tom, I think I will enjoy this party." I saw his eyes glance at our hands. We were holding each other tightly. "Why "
B'Elanna broke in. "Kathryn and I have changed our relationship status."
I swallowed hard and decided we had to talk about the way we told the crew. She sounded like Seven. "She means, we are together," I explained. He nodded after a moment and then smiled.
"Good for you." He leaned in to B'Elanna and kissed her on the cheek. "You deserve to be happy."
"You, too, Captain."
"Thank you, too." A big weight fell from my heart. The biggest problem was over. He and B'Elanna talked about his TV, and I stood there, still holding B'Elanna's hand. She seemed to feel my boredom because her thumb began to stroke my hand.
When Tom changed topics, she broke in, looking at me. "Should we make the rounds?"
"Who is the leader here?" I asked her and grinned.
She laughed. "You will always rub this in my face, won't you?"
"Maybe for a few years." She made our excuses to Tom and lead the way. We nodded, or rather, I nodded to the crewmen who recognized us. B'Elanna did well to ignore them. It was good she got to see that , for most of the crew, I would always be just the Captain, even out of uniform at a party.
"You have fun?" I turned at the voice and saw Seven before me.
"Yes, thank you. And yourself?"
"It is a waste of time. I do not know why I am here." I laughed.
"You are here because I ordered you to be here. Had I not, you wouldn't have come." I looked at her. She wore a dress I hadn't seen before. "You look nice, Seven."
She nodded and then looked at me with a little frown. "You are scarred there. Did you have an accident? Why does the Doctor not heal it?"
I felt B'Elanna stiffen a bit beside me, but before she could say anything, I did. "Seven, that scar is not a normal scar. It is part of a Klingon ritual."
"The Oath, which means you are married to a Klingon." Her look went to B'Elanna and to her chest. "Lt. Torres, you don't wear the mark on your throat."
"Explain," Seven ordered. I didn't try to hide my smile at that. B'Elanna's face became a little flushed. She tried to explain, but failed miserably.
"Help?" she asked me quietly.
"Well, Seven, while it is normal to wear the mark on the throat, like me, B'Elanna asked me to mark her over her heart. It's not abnormal to pick a different place."
"Then, why do you not pick a place?" Seven asked and I felt the blush come over me. I could not explain to Seven that I didn't pick a place because B'Elanna marked me the first time we made love, and we hadn't really talked about it.
"I want it there," I said finally. I saw that Seven didn't believe me, but with a nod, I told her we would speak later about it, so she didn't ask more.
"I think the new form of your relationship will make you both stronger and healthier."
"Thank you, Seven." I looked at B'Elanna. She smiled a bit at Seven's way of talking and I agreed with her. But, she truly meant it, so I was thankful.
"People, there is someone who wants to talk to you, so please, pay attention." Chakotay got off of the platform while I climbed onto it.
"Well, first, hello. I have a comm channel open for those who couldn't be here. Tonight, I feel the need to say a lot of things to you, so make yourselves comfortable." I took a deep breath, while the crowds before me laughed. "We travelled a lot of miles in the last few years. At the beginning, I knew we would make it home and I still believe it, now more than ever. I'm happy to have such a great crew."
A little applause came and went and I waited for silence. "That was the Captain's speech, but now I'm laying my pips down for a minute." I looked, smiling, at B'Elanna and motioned her to me. She picked her way trough the crowd, and I helped her onto the platform. "A few of you have seen the scar on my throat and the one on B'Elanna's chest. For those who aren't familiar with Klingon ritual bites, the one B'Elanna is wearing was made with a traditional Klingon knife. The scars mean I will be known as Kathryn Torres, wife of B'Elanna Torres, when I am off duty." I had expected everything but this. The silence around us continued, no one saying anything. Those who knew of our marriage stared at those who had not. Just like us. Finally, B'Elanna grew tired of waiting.
"Come on, people. We are married, not suddenly from a new race." That did nothing, so I spoke up again.
"This is the Captain. Continue with the party or return to work." That did it. The crowd began to talk quietly, while B'Elanna and I climbed off the platform. The first person who came to us was Tuvok.
"Captain, Lieutenant." We returned his greeting. "I have to say, I am glad you two finally told us. I don't know how much longer I could have remained silent."
"What gave us away?" B´Elanna asked
"Lieutenant, you seem to forget I am telepathic. There are many times you are not conscious of what you think." We smiled at that, knowing we would be more careful in the future. "Besides which, you seem to have forgotten that anyone can ask the Computer, about your location."
"You spied on us?"
"Not on you, Lieutenant. I did it for the Captain; although, spy is not the right word. As the Security Chief, it is my duty to make sure the Captain is in no danger from anyone even herself."
"That doesn't explain why you spied on me while I was in my quarters," I broke in.
"I am sure you have noticed it is a little quiet lately. You ended your shifts right on time, so I worried you would close yourself in your quarters like the other times." I knew what he meant so I say anything. B'Elanna knew, too. "Every time you went off duty, I looked for you. After some time, I noticed you were often in your quarters. One time, I noticed, you were not alone. From that time on, I asked for Lt. Torres' location every time you were both off duty."
"And three weeks ago, you noticed she stayed over night," I stated.
"Yes," he answered simply.
"You said nothing. Why?" I knew the answer, but B'Elanna did not know him as well as I did. He looked at her.
"It was not and is not my buisiness."
"Oh," was all B'Elanna could say to that.
"Mrs. Torres," he paused and, if I didn't know him, I would swear, I saw him smirk. "Mrs. Torres, congratulations." With that, he left us alone. The next three hours, the conversations were like an interrogation for B'Elanna and me, but we got through it together. As she had promised, there were only good reactions to our relationship.
She stood in the doorway while looking at the view before her. It was the best picture she could ever think of and she hoped she never got tired of it. She felt more at ease than she had in many years, despite the stress from the coming wedding and all the things she had yet to do. She looked at her hand and the beautiful engagement ring resting there. B'Elanna gave it to her when she'd knelt to propose. Again. Following Kathryn's beliefs. Their second wedding would take place before her friends, with a ceremony, rings, and a big cake.
It was time. She was happy. Especially when she came to her quarters after her shift and could look at the person who lay sleeping in the bed.
She walked to the bed and lay beside B'Elanna. How she did it, Kathryn could not explain, but the second she lay down, a sleeping B'Elanna wrapped her in a tight embrace. And then, Kathryn knew, even if they never made it home to earth, Captain Janeway-Torres aka Kathryn Torres was home right there. In the embrace of her wife, Lt. Torres-Janeway aka B'Elanna Torres.
And so their journey to earth continued with a happily married Captain, who loved the Chief Engineer and who was loved by her equally in return.
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