DISCLAIMER: Jordan Cavanaugh, Lisa Fromer, et al belong to Tim Kring, Tailwind Productions and NBC Studios. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a small companion piece to my Scared Straight series it doesn't advance the series however I hope you'll like this interlude.
THANKS: To Myra for going over the story and continuing to make sure I don't butcher Jordan's character.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: For "Scared Straight".
COPYRIGHT: Jan. 13th, 2003 - Jan. 24th, 2003
Scared Straight: Love Jordan
By A.M. Glass
I know this is a little odd, the fact I'm writing to you instead of speaking with you, but I feel safer somehow. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't some kind of "Dear Lisa" letter.
This is not me saying I regret what we've done, that I've had more time to think about it and I realize that it's not what I want.
That's soo not true.
I don't think I'll ever regret what we've shared, not a single moment that's burned on my heart.
I just hope you won't.
Lise, this is new to me and there were times when I was scared out of my head. When I wasn't sure of what I was going through, when I second guessed myself, leaving you to wonder if we were ever going to be more than "just" friends
I know what it's like to be in love or at least what I felt was love. Since being with you, I find myself looking back and wondering if it was. All the feelings, sensations, they're different, deeper somehow. It's as if we're connected in a way that's never happened with anyone else.
My heart flutters when I think about you, which is basically all the time now. Not than I didn't think of you before, you know what I mean. Don't you? Do you know that the very thought of you brightens my day, no matter how hard it gets. All I need to do, is picture your face and stress sort of drifts away, the burden seems lighter somehow.
That, I owe to you.
Speaking of work, I think they're beginning to notice.
Apparently I seem to have a smile plastered on my face, Nigel keeps asking who's the lucky fella. It's a question I'm going to answer soon. What I need to do is tell my dad first.
I never told you about the talk he and I had when I was first working on Stephanie's case did I? Remind me to tell you about it over a beer, it's kinda funny. Lise, he's so important to me and I want him to get to know you like I do.
It wasn't too long ago when I would have said that he was the only important person in my life, the only person I loved, that's not true now.
Now, I have you.
It makes me smile, it makes me happier than I've been in such a long time and I want to thank you for sticking by me all those months when I wasn't sure, when I was still searching.
Do you know what I found at the end of my search?
And that smile that does melts me on the spot.
Of course there are other things you do that melt me on the spot, and those are not the kind of thoughts to have at work, which is where I am at the moment.
No, those are the kind of thoughts to have when I'm at home or when I'm with you, especially with you.
I can't wait 'til you get back from your trip. There's so much I have to tell you I wanna do so many things.
This may sound silly, but I want to sit by you and not say a word, and don't roll your eyes. I wanna be able to do that and know it's okay. To be comfortable enough to simply be in your presence while you read the paper and wait.
For your hand to drift down to my knee and trace some design. They're never the same and yet - they are in one important facet.
They feel like home.
To know that you can without thinking about it, without having to ask my permission, it fills me with a sense of peace I haven't known in a long time.
I'm going to end this as I think I've said too much, but there is one last thing I need to say to you:
Hurry home I've missed you.
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