DISCLAIMER: Star Trek is the property of Paramount, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation Starship: Voyager, was surprised. There really wasn't much that could do that to her any more, but surprised she was.
The sudden thought, that had just entered her mind in her living quarters, had stopped her dead. "Sanni Kelly," she said quietly. "My God, Sanni Kelly. I haven't thought about her in really a long time." She smiled, a smile that was tinged with a puzzled frown as she stared, unseeing, at the PADD in her hands. "So why now?" she questioned. The PADD was silent and unhelpful and she cast it aside as she leaned back on the couch to allow her memories an airing.
As they began to surface for the first time in 28 years, a warm smile spread across her face. 'Sanni, darling,' she thought. 'My first love; I thought we'd last forever.' Smiling, she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to access those early times.
"D'you think we can be seen from here?"
Kathryn opened her 17-year-old eyes, lifted herself up on one elbow and peered all around the deserted bay, squinting in the sunlight. Other than the two of them, lying sunbathing on the shore, there was no one as far as the eye could see. "I don't think so," she replied.
"Because I want to kiss you."
Kathryn immediately sat bolt upright, scrabbling onto her knees as she turned her body around to face Sanni. "You want to do what?"
"You heard. I want to kiss you."
"Why?" asked Kathryn, confused.
"Aw, c'mon. You can't say you haven't thought about it. I saw you looking at me, last night, at the party."
"Yes, but I..."
"C'mon, Kat, admit it. You like me, don't you? Just a little bit?"
"I like you well enough, Sanni Kelly, but I hadn't thought of kissing you, for God's sake."
"Don't blaspheme. You know your mother wouldn't like it."
"Oh, and who are you, now... my mother?"
"I don't think so, honey - not feeling the way I do about you."
Kathryn blushed slightly, seeing a look in Sanni's eyes she hadn't noticed before, a look of pure lust. "Oh, God."
"You did it again!"
"I'm praying, you idiot."
Sanni laughed out loud at Kat's remark. Moving closer to the young redhead, she changed her position to one that clearly stated her already verbalised intention. She snaked an arm around Kathryn's neck, drawing her prey closer to her.
"Hey!" cried Kathryn indignantly; trying to object and yet letting her curiosity and genuine affection for this girl lead into the experience it seemed they both wanted. Slowly the young women explored each other with their mouths, clearly enjoying the experience and, when they pulled back, it was obvious that this exploration would not end with kissing.
Sanni reached around the back of Kathryn's upper body and released the catch of her bikini bra, watching with predatory interest as the redhead's young breasts were revealed. "Not very big, are they?" she teased.
"Ha! You're not doing much better," retorted Kathryn indignantly. "What do you call those?" She playfully and lightly poked at Sanni's breasts.
"My pride and joy, that's what I call them. Like to see for yourself?"
Kathryn nodded as Sanni slowly revealed two perfectly formed and beautiful young breasts. "Oh," she said appreciatively as she drew closer to the dark-eyed girl and drew her into a hug, their breasts meeting and mingling between them.
The two of them didn't know a great deal about lovemaking, only what little they had read. And they knew nothing at all about adult love or relationships, but they spent three hours on the beach, until it grew dusk; fumbling, attempting, failing, laughing, until they each won their prize and fell exhausted into the other's arms.
Throughout the three years they were training together in Indiana, the two young women were inseparable. They even began to make plans for a future together... until the day that Sanni met John. Kathryn knew, from the moment she saw the handsome dark-haired stranger with her Sanni, that things would never be the same between them again.
It had hurt deeply and for some long time, but slowly Kathryn found a gift called 'forgiveness' and started to move on with her life, without her love. By mutual agreement, Kathryn stayed away from the wedding, knowing it would be too difficult for the pair of them to have to go through the various feelings that would emerge. But Sanni was happy; Kathryn could see that, and so she had wished her well for the future and then left, never to see her again.
Only nine years ago, she had heard about Sanni's death, in an accident on Mars Colony, leaving her poor distraught husband and two children behind.
Janeway sighed, reaching for the coffee cup beside her couch. It was no surprise to the hand wrapped around it that it was now cold, as she had been daydreaming for some time. "Sanni," she breathed, shaking her head at the intensity of the feeling she had been able to come up with, after so long.
She got up and crossed to the replicator, finding a replacement cup of the brew that she was now famous among her crew for drinking coffee. Sitting back down and picking up the PADD again, she tried hard to concentrate on the work she had been doing, but to no avail.
Suddenly her eyes widened and the PADD fell against her knees as, all at once, she knew damned well why Sanni Kelly had come into her mind this evening, even if it had surprised her at first - it didn't take a rocket scientist to work it out.
Sanni had been dark-haired with flashing dark eyes, just like B'Elanna. Sanni had been temperamental and outspoken, just like B'Elanna. Sanni had excited the hell out of Kathryn from the start, just as B'Elanna had done, and Kathryn realised that she was finding ever more creative ways to spend as much time as possible in the company of the beautiful rebel aboard Voyager. She hadn't noticed the similarities between the two women until her current flashback, but now she was in no doubt at all that she had deep feelings for the lieutenant.
A relationship with B'Elanna, reasoned Kathryn, would simply be an extension of the feelings that she felt had been developing between the two of them lately, and making love would be a natural outworking of those feelings. If B'Elanna felt the same, as the energies between them suggested she might, then maybe it could work. Perhaps now was a good time to give things a little push.
Or perhaps it wasn't. She hated the idea that she might ruin what enjoyment the two of them already had with each other. It might be prudent to remain silent, for now.
Kathryn had just exited the bathroom, rubbing her wet hair with a towel and clad only in a dressing gown, when she heard her comm. badge.
"Torres to Janeway."
She frowned. She was due to meet with B'Elanna soon, and the captain hoped fervently that she was not about to be let down. She went into the bedroom and picked up the comm. badge from the table beside the bed. "Janeway here," she answered, still rubbing her hair with the towel.
"Can I come over now?"
"Is something wrong, B'Elanna?"
"No, nothing. I just don't want to wait another hour, if that's OK with you. It is OK with you, isn't it?"
"Of course. I'll see you in a few minutes then."
"Sooner than that, I'm outside!"
Janeway didn't mind that the young lieutenant had brought forward the time of their meeting so abruptly, in fact she was filled with curiosity and more than a little excitement as to the deeper reason for it. But she'd expected, at least, to have been given time to dress and tidy herself up a bit first. She wasn't exactly looking her best. 'Hell with it,' she thought briefly, smiling as she caught sight of herself in the bedroom mirror. She poked her tongue out at the 'person' peeking out from under her towel, wet strands of hair dangling over her eyes.
Even though she was expecting it, the door chime made her jump, but she allowed herself a lazy half-smile as she considered the lieutenant's eagerness.
B'Elanna entered the captain's quarters with a surety that had grown from the fact that she had been in these surroundings many times before. The two women, who delighted in having so much in common, had drifted easily into friendship a long while ago but, lately, there had definitely been something more - a lingering look, a knowing smile although neither had dared to verbalise anything.
B'Elanna looked forward to these social evenings with Kathryn a great deal now, perhaps clock-watching a little too much as the time grew nearer for them to meet. Today she couldn't have waited a moment longer and she knew she had risked her friend's wrath to bring the time forward, knowing she would catch the woman just as she found her now; dishevelled, natural and slightly flustered. She smiled warmly at the approaching woman and silently appraised her appearance. "Hey, great look," she chided.
Rubbing her hair briskly with the towel, Kathryn walked into the centre of the living quarters. "You caught me, you rat" she explained with a grin. "I'm not ready yet. I haven't eaten, either. Have you?"
B'Elanna went up and kissed her captain's cheek, as was their custom. "Yeah, 'bout 20 minutes ago. Can I fix you something while you do your hair?" She pointed towards the replicator, ready to move towards it, if asked.
"I wouldn't have needed you to, had you been on time, Lieutenant," Janeway replied cheekily, making her point. "I'll get something in a minute, thanks. Why this early?" she persisted, hoping for... what? She shook her hair out and threw the towel aside, studying the compact engineer with interest.
"Why waste time?" answered B'Elanna to the blue/grey eyes. She detected the same glint in them that she felt was in her own; a glint she had seen in Kathryn's eyes before, and she hoped she wasn't wrong about this. "Seriously, you want me to go and come back when you're done?"
"Why spoil me now? It isn't usually on your agenda?" joked Kathryn, drawing the dressing gown tighter around herself and dropping down onto the couch. Although she had just come out of the shower and had yet to dress, there was something about the lieutenant this evening, something that excited her beyond the usual wonderful feelings that ran through her when she met this woman. "You mind if I dress in a minute?"
B'Elanna stared silently down at her superior, smiling slightly and noting how the energies had changed between the two of them. She'd hoped it would and knew it needed a catalyst - arriving early had been her idea of providing such a catalyst and it appeared to be working. She glanced at the discarded towel and moved towards it, picking it up. "That," she began, nodding at the still-wet auburn locks, "doesn't look too dry to me. Would you like me to do something about it?"
Kathryn tilted her head back a little and gazed up at B'Elanna, pausing for a while before lazily replying, "Go ahead," with a slight smile. Maybe the lieutenant arriving early hadn't been such a bad thing after all. A chill ran through Kathryn as B'Elanna stood behind her and began to rub her head with sure and even strokes and she let out a deep groan as she felt the slow, circular movements. "That's nice," she purred.
"It's supposed to be."
Kathryn closed her eyes and reflected, in the ensuing silence, about how attracted to her chief engineer she had become. She was pretty sure that the feelings were mutual, but she wanted to be certain and this felt like a damned good time to probe a little. "B'Elanna?" she began, her heart beating a little faster.
After all the subjects the two of them had giggled their way through in the past, the question about to be launched would not be seen as too out of place, she hoped. If this didn't work as planned, she could pass it off as simple curiosity. Dragging herself out of her total appreciation of the engineer's hair-rubbing actions she asked, "Have you ever slept with a woman?"
Still behind Kathryn and unseen by her, B'Elanna coloured slightly. 'Oh God,' she thought, her body becoming excited by the implication of the question. She didn't answer.
"Do I take that as a yes?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Have you?" B'Elanna countered.
"You know, I was sure I asked you first."
B'Elanna paused and relaxed slightly, considering her options. She could either ignore the question and laugh it off or she could answer truthfully. Wondering where this line of questioning might be taking the two of them, she decided to be honest about it. "Yeah, I've slept with women."
"Women?" retorted Kathryn before she could catch her reply. She was surprised; she hadn't expected the plural. Thinking about it, she hadn't even expected a singular 'woman' answer. Now it was her turn to falter a little, although she quickly chuckled and added, "Now, why am I surprised, do you think?"
"I don't know, why are you?"
Kathryn twisted around on the couch and looked up at the woman behind her, checking the look in her eye before she stood and moved around to the back of the couch where B'Elanna was. "I had a feeling - I have to admit it was a hope - I just didn't expect the plural answer, that's all." Standing next to B'Elanna now, Kathryn checked the dark eyes again for her welcome. It was there.
"And you," B'Elanna asked with more than a passing interest. "Have you slept with women?"
"Oh, yes." The blue/grey eyes raised themselves to take in the top of B'Elanna's hair as a hand reached out, sure and certain, to rest against the silky locks. "I'd like to sleep with one now. If that's alright with you?"
A smile entered the lieutenant's eyes and spread down to her lovely mouth. "Anyone I know?" she asked, her lips staying slightly apart.
"I think you might," Kathryn grinned, looking down and lightly dragging her index finger over the smaller woman's lips, which opened a little further in response.
B'Elanna grinned, snaking a hand around Kathryn's waist and pulling the redhead to her. "Or maybe you could sleep with me, instead?"
Kathryn raised one eyebrow and smiled. "Not a bad idea, Lieutenant."
Suddenly serious, B'Elanna moved her head closer to the damp locks and whispered into Kathryn's ear, "I can't tell you how long I've wanted this."
"Me too, sweetheart. But I had to be sure. When you came here early and I saw the look in your eyes when you saw me... like this... I was pretty sure then."
"Shhh," murmured the lieutenant. "Kiss me?"
Kathryn looked at the woman she knew she was beginning to love and gave an almost sad smile, "I'd like that very much," she told her quietly, her voice filled with emotion as she looked from eye to eye and down to the welcoming mouth.
The first kiss between them had the gentlest of beginnings although, pretty soon, it deepened to include their need and pent up feelings for each other. When it ended, Kathryn held on tightly to her engineer, hugging her close and conveying all the love she could through her strong arms. "Oh, darling," she whispered, already needing to be closer, more intimate. "I want to melt into you, be part of you. One - together."
"I know. I want that too. I want you." B'Elanna found willing lips for another long kiss as both women's hands explored each other greedily, causing gasps into mouths that were locked together.
"I think perhaps we should find a bed, don't you?" asked Kathryn as they pulled apart, with a mock innocence and a face to match, although her expression quickly melted into serious desire.
"C'mon," giggled B'Elanna as she took her captain's hand and headed off to the bed in question. "I want these clothes off, now. I want to feel skin on skin and then I can take my time to ravish you."
"My, aren't we full of promises," joked Kathryn as she allowed herself to be pushed gently onto her back. Before the beautiful engineer lowered herself down on top of her, Kathryn's mind said silently, 'Thanks, Sanni, my love, for opening my eyes to my feelings for this woman.'
"What are you thinking?" asked B'Elanna, pausing.
"I'm thinking of the wonderful way in which my past, present and future is merging now, as I look at you. I've always loved you, and I always will, in some way or another."
The engineer mixed a frown with a smile. "Remind me," she said, "when my pure animal lust for you isn't quite this strong, to ask you to explain that?"
"I will," sighed a happy captain. "Later. Much later. Now, come here, you."
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