DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess and its characters are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures or whoever owns them now. No infringement intended.
CHALLENGE: Written for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
BETA: Thanks to Ms_Josephine
Never Be Over You
I know she forgets I'm a killer, a cold blooded mass murderer. I am a dark brooding warrior trying to make things right. It doesn't wash the blood from my hands nor excuse the deceit and greed that had distracted me for so long. I actively fought against those who would oppose my will, forcing them to what I wanted. Want, take, have, to the strongest go the spoils. It made sense to me and was my code for years, and some days it still sounds good to me. I keep myself tightly reigned for just these reasons. Somehow she has managed to forget all of this as she pokes a finger deep into my chest, angrily making her point.
Sure I try to atone, but I will never be able to change my past or truly make amends for all I have done. I cannot bring back the dead. I will never be able to truly stop the evil that bubbles deep inside me, that still begs and pleads to be released, its seductive whisper ever present. It's a battle I wage every day and today has been no different.
She continues to go off on me, as I let my emotions hit me in waves of hurt and anger, and if I am honest, fear. I realize that today is different. It is different because she has forgotten who I am and what I can do with a simple jab of my fingers. It is different because she has finally pushed me too far and I am too weak to stop myself, having held back too long, hidden from her what lurks deep inside. It is different because today I will finally tell her the truth.
I grab her wrist, pulling her to me, feeling the tiny bones shift and twist beneath her skin. Not for the first time do I realize how delicate my travelling companion is. She is so trusting of the wolf that walks with her. I can see her green eyes grow wide, part of me hopes its desire, another side of me longs to see fear. I battle internally and simply stare at the beauty trembling before me.
"You are over me?" I finally manage to whisper in disbelief, my response to her long winded tirade. I take a step, my bigger size intimidating, forcing her to take one back. She bumps up against the wall of the small barn we are bedding in with Argo tonight.
"Over me?" my voice cracks slightly as the hurt frustration oozes out of me like pus from a festering wound. I have nothing more to lose. Somewhere in our long one sided argument she has announced she has decided to leave me. She'll join the Amazons she said, like they would ever be able to handle her.
For too long I've held her at a distance, afraid of losing my friend, of scaring her away, yet desperately needing her with me. I want her as so much more than my friend, many cold nights spent thinking of nothing but touching and tasting her as my lover. The timing was never right, and she is still so young, how can she even know what she wants yet? So I made excuses and waited.
Now it seems I've waited too long, worried too much. Well, if I've lost her anyway, I'll go down swinging my sword to the bitter end. I've faced worse odds and won the day before, the cocky warrior inside is ready for battle. If I've irreparably damaged our friendship with my fear and good intentions, then it is time to either kill it completely or take it to the next level. I slam my hand against the barn boards in frustration and she jumps.
"When were you ever UNDER me?" I growl, my eyes traveling possessively along her body, sexual tension lacing my words. Her gasp is not lost on me, nor is the racing beat of her heart twitching at the base of her neck. I can feel her breath on my lips, the taut lean muscles of her stomach stretch and tense against me. I don't think she is as "over me" as she claims. I go still as the hunter in me stalks her prey in the silence pulsing between our two bodies.
She moistens her lips with her tongue, her self conscious movement catching my attention. Before I know it I'm leaning forward as she stares into my eyes almost daring me, but I hesitate, stopping just before I touch her mouth. I am desperate to taste her but I will wait for her one last time, for her to give me permission. She focuses on my lips, before her eyes flutter shut quickly closing the distance between us, her kiss sealing our fates.
Her moan, soft and needy, vibrates against my mouth and I want to conquer her, mark her, claim her as my own. Instead I am the one taken. Her hand snakes into my hair grasping the nape of my neck to keep me steady and right where she wants me. I am hers to do with as she wants. Somehow we find our way to our bedrolls already nestled in the warm hay stack where she pushes me down, her eyes travelling down my long lean form.
"Finally." She smiles tenderly before her eyes grow large again. Then she is descending, devouring me, taking me into her hands, molding me to her body.
"Off!" She demands, tugging at my leathers. Chuckling I gladly obey, stripping down to my bare skin as she does the same. The soft furs below me and her supple curves above me are almost too much to take in. I run my fingers along her cheek, tracing her eyebrows, memorizing the flecks of colour in her eyes before she once more dips down for a searing kiss.
I know she is not as innocent as I want to think. She was married for Zeus' sake. Not to mention all the time she has spent with Ephiny and the Amazons, she would have been at the very least curious and observant, certainly she is not stupid. Still I am surprised as she confidently maps my body, caressing and sucking favourite spots while I willingly remain trapped beneath her, moaning and writhing with need.
"Mine." She sighs happily in my ear as her roving hand finds me wet and ready for her. Slowly she fills me, truly making me hers. My hips begin to arch off the furs to meet her thrusts, as she sets our pace, soon adding the extra strength of her muscled thigh between my legs.
I make a small sound at the back of my throat as she curls her fingers and finds that spot I can't resist. She makes a sympathetic groan as I writhe below her, before she claims my mouth again, kissing me hard. My body starts to tense, while I buck against her, straining to pull her in deeper.
"Look at me, Xena." My eyes snap open at her soft request as my mind tries desperately to focus, but her touch is too distracting. I'm so close, and she knows it.
"I want to watch you come for me." Her eyes sparkle and all I can do is nod and gasp as she rewards me by circling my clit with her thumb. It's like she can see into my soul, and I am overwhelmed by her. Suddenly my body responds, coming hard, shuddering with release. Her name is ripped from my throat followed by breathy cries and still I stare into her green eyes, exposing everything to her as asked.
Finally my racing heart slows and I blink up at her. Her indulgent smile warms me, as she moves her hands along my body again. She snuggles closer, burrowing against my neck, as I put my arms around her and just breathe her in. My fingers lazily trace along her back and she sighs happily. My energy is returning and I start to plot my attack on the curvaceous body resting on top of me.
Kissing the top of her head, she moves to once again take my lips, sinking deeper into my mouth, our tongues dueling and playing together. I don't think she even realized I had started to roll her over until her backside hit the furs. As my weight settles on her, I slide between her legs and discover just how ready she is for me.
She seems so small beneath me, tiny, petite, yet I know she is a force to be reckoned with. I roll my hips and drag my thigh against her center and her needy moan hits me hard and I am frantic to explore her sweet body. She kisses me as I roam her skin with my fingers, soft tickling trails down her sides, across her breasts and nipples, her rock hard stomach muscles. I pull away from her tempting mouth as I suddenly realize I can finally explore her abs.
My mouth is nipping down her throat, licking across her collarbone, dipping between her breasts to find her taut belly. She giggles and her tummy twitches, and I look up at her over her naked body and lift an eyebrow. Giving her a half smile, I turn my attention back to tracing the hollows of her stomach with my tongue.
I soon nuzzle along her belly button and then move across the flat planes of her abdomen to claim first one breast and then the other. My fingertips skim the length of her body, the feathery caresses barely there as my mouth teases her nipples.
When my hand finally wanders down to where her legs meet, I find her swollen and slick spreading herself a little wider for me. I tease her clit and she arches up to meet me, gasping, trying to catch a deep breath, followed by thick moans from deep inside somewhere.
"Please " she whispers on an exhale, slow and steady. She feels everything so intensely, responding so subtly to my sure touch, her body inviting me with every movement. We both groan with pleasure as I press into her, our bodies dancing back and forth together.
Her arms have snaked around my neck like she needs to feel me even closer to her. I pick up the tempo of my thrusts, angling deeper into her, and she moves with me panting into my ear, rocking harder. I feel her start to tighten, her body clenching around my fingers. Her back arches and finally she comes hard, releasing a deep guttural cry as she shudders against me.
Tangled together in a heap, exhausted and spent, she softly kisses me, our thundering heart beats slowing. I keep her close but shift my larger frame off to one side and she quiets in my arms as we hold each other, curling together in the soft furs, touching softly. We lay breathing for a bit, gathering strength and comfort from each other.
I rub the pad of my thumb across her full plump lips and kiss her once more. She is so damn beautiful like this I ache inside.
"I will never be over you." I whisper into the night. My arms are suddenly full with her slight body, crushing against me, nuzzling into my neck, just keeping me close and once again soothing the beast within. I sigh into her blonde hair and surrender to the peace she has given me, not sure how I've come to deserve it.
"I love you Gabrielle."
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