All Obsessed and Nowhere to go
By Cirroco DeSade
All obsessed and nowhere to go
I believe this is what is called an 'obsession.' It all began months ago in engineering. I was attempting to assist in repairs necessary after Voyager had survived an incursion with Species 5633. The rather annoying firefight had left Voyager without environmental controls and, of course, functioning replicators. I was trying to explain to B'Elanna Torres how much more efficient it would be to now replace the damaged EPS relays with the modifications based on Borg design that I had proposed to her 52 days before that incident. As usual, the lieutenant refused to listen to my logical arguments. Instead she decided to scream insults at me about my hair color, my anatomy, and various other curious associations.
An explosion behind her interrupted her diatribe and I suddenly found myself underneath her. She had actually moved to protect me from the blast. Until this occasion I had never the chance to so closely examine the form and function of the engineer.
Eidetic memory can be a blessing, yet it is a curse at times also.
Until that moment I had never considered what B'Elanna Torres' body might feel like. However, since she had landed firmly upon me, our bodies facing each other, her face buried into my neck and her legs in between my own I acquired the knowledge first-hand. I had not considered what her hair might feel like under my chin. I had not thought of what it might feel like to have someone atop me moan. I had no idea that my body could react so strongly.
She had not been wearing her uniform jacket, or her outer shirt. Only a frivolous tank top covered her briefly. I reached out as we fell to the floor and my hands surrounded her muscular upper arms. I didn't know she was so strong, that her musculature was so dense. It is only logical because of her Klingon side I now realize, but it was an irrelevant fact before then.
I find it very relevant now.
As my hands held her upper arms, hers were planted firmly upon my shoulders. The sensors in my enhanced hand automatically registered her body temperature among other variables, but my fully human hand was the one that felt the heat, the sweat that had gathered on her arms before the explosion.
As I had lost a great deal of the air in my lungs upon impact with the floor, I was forced to inhale deeply. When I did, I noticed for the first time the scent of B'Elanna. It was not a perfumed scent that humans often wear after a shower, yet a deeply musky scent. I suppose the pheromones had a greater effect on me than normal since she was so very close to me, and because of all the combined factors, but at that moment I decided that nothing had ever smelled so wonderfully.
I never knew that my breasts could be stimulated without someone even trying. Just her minute motions sent heat through me like I had never experienced. I never thought the barest hint of motion would have me so captivated. She slid her body up against mine as she regained her bearings. She ground into me, unconsciously I believe since she was seemingly still unaware of her surroundings. However I was very aware of the instantaneous effect it had on me.
I'm curious as to why she froze in that position and moaned though. Why did she dig her fingertips into my shoulders?
Nonetheless, when she finally seemed aware, she gasped and her eyes found mine. Her pupils were dilated, but there was a look of terror on her face that I could not understand. She was on her feet too quickly for me to question her about anything.
Since then, I think of her the last moment of every night before regeneration, and the first after I leave the cycle. I can smell her everywhere she has been. When I see her I lose the ability to process thought like I had always done before.
Now I sit here in a staff meeting, listening to the beat of her heart and ignoring the Captain. I can smell her of course and my body has reacted once again. I wonder why she keeps staring at me, why her nostrils flare like that, how does she torment me without even knowing it?
So this is obsession. Curiously wonderful.
Return to Voyager Fiction
Return to Main Page