DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters. They are the property of Paramount.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

A Paris Night
By Tina LaMarch


If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
-Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

B'Elanna turned in Seven's arms. She kissed the blonde's eyelids, her cheeks, her lips. "It's time honey," she smiled as Seven groaned. The Borg did not do waking up. B'Elanna hopped up and took a shower.

After changing into a green t and some slacks, she straddled Seven's hips. "I didn't want to have to do this." B'Elanna started running her fingers along Seven's side until she got…..just there. A half a second later, B'Elanna was flying over the side of the bed.

Seven looked over the side at B'Elanna as she laughed. Seven's implant went up. "I believe we discussed the tickling, B'Elanna."

"I love waking you up Seven. Come on and get ready already. We have work to do."

Seven pulled herself off the mattress and finished getting ready in no time flat. B'Elanna looked up from her place on the floor. "Efficient."

"Indeed," replied Seven as held out her hand to help B'Elanna off the floor.

B'Elanna grinned and led her lover out the door.

They ran into Harry outside the holodeck. "We ready yet Harry?"

"Everyone's in Sandrine's, except Tom, who is off saving the universe."

B'Elanna slung her arm around Harry's shoulder and the three of them walked in together.

"Welcome everyone." B'Elanna waved to the Senior staff members present. "Hope everyone is ready. As you all know, Tom's birthday is in two days, and our divorce just became final. I thought I would throw a little celebration of my own. For all of you still recovering from Tom's last round of pranks, I saved front row seats."

B'Elanna turned on a large screen which showed Tom Paris battling Satan's robot. "Captain, cover your ears. This part is not for official type listening." She waited until the Captain's fingers were in her ears and 'lalalalala' could be heard coming from that end of the seating area. "Harry is in charge of the pool. How long will it take our resident prankster to figure out that he has been had….5 rations a square, line to the left." She laughed and went over to touch Kathryn Janeway's shoulder. "All clear. We are officially above board. Popcorn? Everyone properly lubricated? Great. Harry….. Whenever you are ready."

Harry chuckled and pulled out an oversized button on a big silver box. He placed the box in front of B'Elanna. "I figured this is your show."

B'Elanna shot a look at the captain who grinned at her friend and said, "Engage." B'Elanna laughed and pushed the button.

Tom had narrowly defeated Satan's Robot. He stood one foot on the giant tin can as he faced down Doctor Chaotica. "Your fiendish plan is-" Paris almost fell as the deck below his feet shifted. The program ended revealing the holodeck with flickering emergency lighting. He ran to his bag near the door. The floor lurched again and Tom fell to his side, his rocket pistol skidded across the floor.

Paris threw out his hand and caught the edge of the bag. As he dragged the bag toward him he heard the call to abandon ship. "What the hell-" He pulled himself up and reaching in grabbed his comm badge. Tapping the communicator he tried first Harry, then B'Elanna. There was no response. He ran to the door. It didn't open. Using a manual override, he squeezed through into a scene from hell.

The ship lurched and threw him into the wall. Emergency lighting flickered at conduits blew ahead. He turned around and headed for the nearest escape pod. Dodging past a sparking wall unit he threw himself into the pod sealing it just as he heard the sound of a roaring explosion.

The pod flew free of Voyager plummeting to the surface of a nearby world. Paris looked up to see Voyager explode. He looked out the port of the pod desperately searching the skies for other pods. He ripped off his rocket pack and strapped himself in as the pod neared the surface. It skipped the surface twice before landing with a crash against a tree.

Paris pulled out the emergency transmitter getting more and more anxious as he failed to raise anyone else. He did get blips on the tracker however. He checked the atmosphere and pulled himself out of the pod.

He grabbed the emergency kit and took a heading. He started walking toward the nearest blip. It was less than 5 minutes later when he ended up 15 feet in the air, dangling by his ankle. Twisting around, he spotted movement in the deep burgundy bushes below.

*"My hero," giggled B'Elanna before being shushed by her fellow viewers.*

Breaking out of the bushes were six creatures. They were approximately six feet to the top of their heads, seven and a half feet to the top of their ears. Each carried a large basket and a pointy stick. Tom held up.... or down his hands.

"Hey, hey, hey guys. Peace. Yeah? Friendly. Tom Paris. Ummmm….. Take me to your leader?"

*Harry groaned as he realized he had lost yet another pool.*

The big long eared guy in the vest cut the rope and Tom hit the ground hard. The bunnies (Tom really had no other way to describe these guys) forced him along a trail to a small town filled with bunny-men in a multitude of colors. There were dozens of basket makers. A bunny made totems of a small bird. They passed a series of sheds filled with dye vats. Small orbs lay in beds of grasses.

At last Paris was dragged before a huge white bunny wearing a pink neckerchief. The bunny stepped down and lay a huge paw on Tom's shoulder. "Greetings stranger. Welcome, I am Ebil Bunay, Overlord of these parts."

"Thank you Overlord. I am Lt. Tom Paris. Our ship was damaged and I ended up in your neck of the woods and have you seen any others like me?"

"No. You will join our celebration."

"I really….."

"You will join our celebration."

"I will join your celebration.

"This is my daughter Lil, she will get you dressed in something appropriate."

Tom, seeing a lovely doe colored bunny waggled his eyebrows. She wiggled her nose. She took his hand and led him to a small room where she handed him a set of garments.

"Couldn't just wear my normal clothes?"

The bunny dragged a paw across his chest. "Do it for me Lt. Tom Paris." She wiggled her nose. "I'll be right back.." She drew a curtain and stepped out.

When she came back, she took Tom by the hand to a large room with a curtained wall. "Newcomers are brought here. They are invited to wear our native celebratory dress and they dance for all the villagers. The more enthusiasm you show in your dance, the happier the villagers, the happier the Overlord and the better things will be for you. Really kick your legs up. They'll love that Lt. Tom Paris." Lil wrinkled her nose and pecked his cheek. "Good luck."

Tom heard the music start. It was a whirling hurdy gurdy sound. The curtain drew open to reveal a sea of villagers and a second curtain behind them. Tom threw himself into the dance. He looked like Carmen Miranda on acid, particularly whenever his skirt spun wide in his groove. He was really enjoying himself…..

Until the other curtain opened revealing a view of Sandrine's featuring the entire senior staff laughing and toasting him.

"Computer end program!"

The End

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