DISCLAIMER: The Devil Wears Prada and its characters belong to Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended.
BETA: Peetsden but I couldn't keep my hands off of it after the fact so there will probably be a few mistakes. Oh well.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To brithna[at]gmail.com
The Power of Nutella A 'Poke The Dragon' Response
Juggling a shopping bag full of grocery's and a satchel full of paper work intended for Miranda was not what Andy had in mind when she envisioned her Saturday afternoon. But, here she was with her shopping bag and said paper work, walking the remaining block to Miranda Priestly's town house. Why she couldn't wait until Monday to work on this was beyond Andy but oh wait, we're talking about Miranda Priestly. Duh. Of course she would want it. Of course she would demand that it be brought to her even though she wasn't at home right now. Of course. And of course Andy would do it. In fact, she would happily do it because even though she was complaining right now did not mean she wasn't totally thrilled to do anything Miranda needed her to do. It was probably sick and twisted in some way but Andy pretty much couldn't help herself. She'd tried. God knows she'd tried but nothing seemed to help this sick and twisted part of Andy's brain. Like the saying goes people do crazy things when they're in love.
Andy deftly unlocked the door to the town-house while keeping a tight hold on her grocery bag and the precious paper work. Thank God she was so practiced at doing twenty things at once or everything would be laid out on the steps right about now. Once inside Andy set her bag on the floor and headed into the family living room to leave the paper work by Miranda's chair as requested. Andy loved this chair and what it represented. It was over stuffed, made of warm dark leather and unlike anything you would think Miranda would be caught sitting in. Add in the quilt laid over the back and the small pillow that said 'Back Away From the Coffee and No One Gets Hurt' and you'd swear you were in someone else's home all together. For Andy it represented the unknown fact that yes, Miranda was human after all. She had always known that but it felt good to see actual evidence of it .Lately she was getting treated to more and more signs of the human qualities Miranda possessed and she tried hard not to over analyze or worry about what these displays meant. Maybe Miranda was just finally letting her guard down which was good, very good.
Andy was just about done with her daydream when she heard a noise. The hair on the back of her neck instantly stood up. No one was supposed to be home so far as she knew. Thankful for her choice in footwear today Andy quickly but silently made her way through the downstairs area until she located the source of the noise.
"Hey." Both the girl jumped for their positions, totally caught off guard. "What in the heck are you guys doing?" They were each standing on a separate kitchen chair going through the top cabinets that they could not otherwise reach.
Cassidy was the first to explain through her panic. "Hi Andy we were just " She jumped down and continued. "We were just looking around for a snack you know how mom is."
Yes Andy did know and she also knew that snacking on junk was not something allowed very often and since Miranda wasn't home that was exactly what they appeared to be on the hunt for. Caroline finally jumped down and joined Cassidy in confession.
"Hi Andy." She said shyly. For some reason Caroline was always a little shy around Andy. Very polite nowadays but very shy. "Mom's not home, so "
"Yeah, I know. Junk food time. When is she due back?"
Cassidy looked at her watch. "In approximately thirty minutes."
Andy laughed. Cassidy was just about as anal about being on schedule as Miranda was. "Okay, so we better get started." Both of the girls squealed with delight and went on to tell Andy just how awesome she truly was. Awesome indeed. "What have you found so far?"
"Not a damn thing." Cassidy said and looked rather defeated.
"Language you brat seriously." Miranda would kill them both if she heard that come out of Cassidy's mouth.
Caroline interjected to keep them focused on the junk food instead of Cassidy's mouth. "The last time mom found the snickers bars in the cabinet she came unglued and Meryl hasn't bought us anything since we're low on supplies."
"Huh well I might have something that could help." Andy headed off for her grocery bag while the girls cheered and took their places at the bar. "Okay here goes nothing. Ever had Nutella?" Cassidy made a face and Caroline answered with a 'that sounds gross'. "Don't knock it 'till you've tried it guys. I've even got some Teddy Grahams to go with it. Surely you've heard of those at least?"
"Yep hand um over." Cassidy reached for them and immediately opened the box. "I love these things." Both the girls started munching on the delicious teddy bears while Andy grabbed some spoons and glasses of milk; another necessity for this venture into the unknown.
"Alright watch and learn." Andy opened the jar and explained. "This is a hazelnut and chocolate spread." She was quickly interrupted by protests.
"Oh yuck!" Caroline turned up her nose.
"For someone who's never even tried it you seriously need to shut-up."
"Yeah, shut-up Caroline." Cassidy said as she inspected the jar closely. "It has chocolate in it so it's gotta be good."
"Hm okay." Caroline gave up and nodded her willingness to give it a go.
"Watch " Andy dipped the spoon in and covered the back of one Teddy Graham's with the Nutella then covered that with another tiny bear which effectively made a sandwich the best sandwich ever in her opinion. Knowing that they would fight over who got to try it first, Andy quickly made another one and handed them both over. "Try it." They both popped them in their mouths at the same time and just as she suspected, nearly fell right off their bar stools in utter amazement.
"O M Freaking G " Caroline grabbed the spoon and poured some tiny bears onto the counter top.
"Makes you wanna slap somebody doesn't it?" Andy laughed and passed Cassidy, who had yet to do anything moan, a spoon. "Here have some milk." Andy slid two of the full glasses over.
Finally Cassidy spoke after taking a sip of milk. "You know what come here Andy." Andy leaned over the counter. She knew what Cassidy was about to do. And yeah, Cassidy gave Andy her nice version of a slap to the face by patting her cheek several times.
"There you've been slapped." She grinned and eagerly made another bear sandwich.
For the next ten minutes nobody said a word. They just ate and drank to their hearts content. "Okay, we gotta clean this up before she gets back." Together they washed and dried the spoons and glasses, taking special care to put everything back in the exact same spot as it was in before. Nobody wanted to get caught and Miranda's attention to detail was always to the extreme. Something as simple as a glass out of place would undoubtedly be noticed right away.
"Whew, alright I think we're safe." Caroline wiped her brow in a Miranda sort of way as she pushed the bar stools back into place. "You better go before she gets back."
"Right. I would leave this with you but she'll probably catch you eating it in the middle of the night." She laughed as they lamented their sorrows and vowed to get more even if they had to go to the store themselves. Andy hugged them both and left making her way quickly down the block to avoid being seen if Miranda pulled up any time soon.
A short time later, just as she was making her way into her apartment, her cell phone rang. It was Miranda. Andy sat down on the couch and tried to as confident as possible as she answered the phone. If one of those girls were dumb enough to mention their little junk food spree, the pay back was going to be astronomical.
"Andrea " Miranda said her name with a hint of exasperation. More so than usual. Fuck.
"Yes, Miranda what can I do for you." Andy replied with an overdose of her businesslike tone. Which probably wouldn't work.
"Andrea, it seems you failed to tell them to brush their teeth so I'm sure can deduce the outcome hm? Upon receiving my usual hug when I returned home I detected the distinct smell of chocolate."
"Oh, shit." Andy whispered and swallowed hard, suddenly very thirsty.
"Yes. They told me everything. I'm sure you will find a way to pay them back for their confession later. Correct?"
Andy cleared her throat. It sounded like Miranda was in the mood to be playful so why not play along? Even if it meant she was fired at least she would get fired while having fun. "Most likely."
"Hm bring your retched junk food back tomorrow for lunch if you're available. I've been informed that it is let me see how did Cassidy put it? Oh yes, the best thing in the world, galaxy and possibly the entire universe. That being saidI suppose I should try it as well. Lunch will be at exactly noon. Do not be late."
"Okay." Andy said with more excitement in her voice than was probably reasonable but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help her next words either. "Okay, I'll be there it's a date."
There was a bit of silence and then, "Yes it's a date." And then Miranda ended the call.
Andy stared at the phone for a minute then leaned her head back on the couch. So through the power of a simple jar of Nutella Andy finally had a date with Miranda Priestly Cassidy was right. It was the best thing in the world, galaxy and possibly the entire universe.
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