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The Raven
By Pavlov's Bell

Once upon the midnight dreary, whilst I pondered weak and weary over many
A PADD filled with quaint and curious voyager system that don't exist anymore
While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there come a chirping, chirping at my quarters' door.
"Tis some visitor" I muttered "requesting entry at my quarters' door"
Only this and nothing more

Ah, distinctly remember, it was the bleak gamma shift,
And each separate friendly crewmember, sleeping now for sure
Eagerly I wished for the alpha shift, vainly I sought to borrow
From my PADDs, a cease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Paris
For the rare yet average helmsman, whose captain called ensign,
Named by crew, helmrat, forevermore

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple toy targh,
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors only once felt before;
So now to still the beating of my hearts, I stood repeating,
"Tis some visitor requesting entrance at my quarters' door, some late visitor
requesting entrance at my quarters' slidey, swishy door.
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Captain" said I "or crewmen, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so lightly you come rapping,
So faintly I heard the chirping, the chirping of my quarters door
That I scarce was sure I heard you" here I slide wide the door---
Gamma shift darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness I stood peering, long I stood there hoping, fearing,
Wondering and dreaming of Seven, dreams no mortal has dared dream before;
But the silence and my loneliness unbroken, the gamma shift gave no token,
The only words spoken, "Paris is dating again" whispered words
By some far off crewmen, heard in the halls by echoed words
Only this and nothing more

Back into my quarters tuning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a noise, something closer than before,
"Surely" said I "that is somebody transporting to my quarters bedroom"
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore
Let my hearts be still a moment, and this mystery explore
"Tis my loneliness, and nothing more"

Open here I flung open the door, when, with many a flirt and flutter
In stepped a stately Seven, from the saintly days of yore,
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she,
But with mien of captain or admiral, perched on the chair by my quarters door,
Perched by the bust of Kahless, just by my quarters' door,
Only this and nothing more

Then this ivory lady beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of countenance she wore
"Though thy crest be long and golden" I said "art sure heaven,
Beautiful, hot and sexy Seven, whom materialised on my bedroom floor,
Tell why such a beauty materialised from the gamma shift on my bedroom floor"
A sexy eyebrow was cocked and nothing more

Much I marvelled this ungainly woman to refrain from discourse so plainly,
Although her answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being,
Ever blessed with seeing this beauty perched by my quarters' door,
Perched and sat, by the sculptured bust of Kahless by my quarters' door,
With an eyebrow cocked and nothing more

But Seven sitting lonely by that placid bust spoke not
One word, as if her soul in that one eyebrow did outpour,
Nothing she uttered, not one muscle she fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered "other loves have flown before;
On the alpha shift she will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the beauty said "nevermore"

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless" said I "for she utters only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy borg, whom merciful disaster
Followed fast and followed the queen, till all his songs burden bore---
Till the remains of his hope gone and the melancholy burden bore
Surely this and nothing more

But Seven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled my cushioned sit in front of the beauty, bust and door:
Then upon the Starfleet issue sinking, I betook to linking
Fancy, unto fancy, thinking what this saintly love of yore,
What this hot, saintly, beautiful yet skinny and wonderful love of yore
Would she really leave me nevermore?

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the beauty, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosoms core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On Starfleet issue lining that the nightlight slithered over
But whose grey Starfleet issue lining that the nightlight slithered over,
Should I just kiss her or offer more?

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed by some unseen centre
Perhaps from Seven, who materialised on my bedroom floor.
"Tease" I cried, "why Kahless must have send thee --- by the warriors he has
sent thee—to make me forget that wretch whose memories haunt me!
Praise, O Praise this kind deity, and forget this lost helmrat who haunts me"
"Yes" Quoth Seven, "Forever more"

"Is that word our sign of oath, if you say truth or tease!" I cry uprising---
"Get thee into the transporter and not materialise on my bedroom floor!
"Leave no golden hair, as a token, if lies have been spoken
Leave my loneliness unbroken! – quit the chair by my quarters' door
Take your eyes from out my heart, and take your ass away from my door!
I'll accept nothing but love, this I demand and nothing more!"

And Seven, uprising takes my hand, and my hearts start soaring
She proclaimed the oath by the pallid bust of Kahless by my quarters' door
Now our lives have meaning, and my days are filled with dreaming
Our children play with toys galore, upon our quarters' floor
And my soul from her heart that, lies with me on our quarters' floor
Shall remain there forevermore.

The End

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