DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls and its characters are the property of Shed Productions. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Results are the same as Series 3 Episode 16 (Coming Out), but with a twist.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SEQUEL: To Inside Job.
Release
By late2theparty
Part 1
The day had finally arrived. Nikki had been planning for this for over a year and it was surreal to her that it was here. Her appeal was finally going to be heard and for the very first time in a long while, the lifer allowed herself the smallest bit of hope.
Getting dressed, she mused about the path her life had taken… not just the time spent in prison - more than three long, seemingly wasted years - but most notably the events of the last year and a half. She had earned a degree, which is something she thought would never happen; she had lost her partner of nine years to the stress and strain of time apart; and most significantly she had fallen in love - for the first time, really. She had loved Trisha… she really had… but having met Helen, she had to confess that that love paled in comparison. Oh, Helen…first her jailor, then her friend and finally her lover.
Nikki smiled at the recollection of their first encounters - heated… passionate… suspicious. Then Helen had begun to relax, become less formal, flirt even. Nikki was smitten and let her guard down. It was frightening yet liberating at the same time. And when Helen finally admitted reciprocal feelings, the tall, dark con knew she'd never be the same.
What a mess they had made of it though… both pushing so hard in the same direction, but stumbling all the way. They wanted each other, craved the others presence and touch, even gave in to it in one brief moment of insanity, which turned to clarity on a rainy afternoon. But their agendas, although mostly similar, were from a different perspective and that caused so much strife. This had prompted Nikki to escape for a night… to risk everything to try and create an avenue of unobstructed communication. Helen had been furious, but her anger had dissipated at Nikki's simple yet earth-shattering request of "Tell me you love me" and they had made beautiful and passionate love. But, returning Nikki to prison, Helen had been unable to sustain the relationship…anxiety and fear of reprisal for both of them outweighing the love she felt for the other woman - a love Nikki was certain that Helen knew to be real and true. More strife ensued and although she had dangled the possibility of a future together, tied to Nikki's appeal, Helen had finally ended it after a riot caused by Nikki's insistence of fair treatment for a fellow inmate. Nikki was sure Helen would come back to her, but after a couple months of avoidance and formal treatment, she learned that Helen was seeing the new SMO, and that had seemingly been the final blow.
Nikki's head hurt at the thought. They had been through a lot and anticipating her appeal had turned bittersweet. But then Helen had turned up in her cell the night before, ostensibly to wish her well. Yet something in her eyes as she turned to leave forced Nikki to her feet.
Moving towards her, Nikki reached up and stroked Helen's cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear. "I've missed you," she simply stated peering into the depths of the emerald eyes she had dreamt about for months.
"Nikki…" Helen started, watching the expectancy in the con's emotive, amber eyes. "About Thomas…"
Nikki visibly stiffened at the name and took a step backwards.
"I've broken it off with him," Helen quickly continued, moving forward to close the divide, her eyes never leaving Nikki's. "And swee'heart… I never really got off with him… he was… a distraction… one that didn't work."
Nikki relaxed a bit and placed her hands on Helen's hips, pulling her closer, "A distraction from what?" she asked in a sultry voice. Leaning down to capture Helen's lips in her own, she pulled her jailor into her, making immediate and effective contact.
Helen reached up and placed her hands on either side of Nikki's face, and keeping her eyes open, she deepened the kiss by tracing Nikki's lips with her tongue before thrusting it into her mouth.
Pulling back to steady her self, Nikki whispered, "I've missed how you taste, how you smell…I've missed touching you."
"Me too," Helen hoarsely answered, trying hard to maintain control.
"I want you, Helen. I need you. Let me love you," Nikki pleaded, as she moved her hand to the front of Helen's trousers. Nikki pressed her palm into Helen's center, causing a quick intake of breath from the slighter woman. She moved her fingers to find the swollen clit through the garment and rubbed harder, while leaning down to kiss a line up her neck to her mouth.
"Ohh, god…" Helen moaned into Nikki's lips. But sudden awareness caused Helen to roughly push back. "Nikki, I can't. I'm afraid…"
Afraid of what? Of getting caught? Of loving me? What? Nikki had wanted to know, but she didn't get the opportunity to ask as they were interrupted by a PO coming round for lock up.
Part 2
Walking down the steps whilst the other cons cheered lifted Nikki's spirits a bit, but her heart still felt heavy. She had not slept at all, trying to find meaning in Helen's words and actions. And she hoped that the appeal would only last a day and that she'd never wake in her cell again.
"So, who gets the honors?" Nikki asked Di Barker.
"Me and Jim," the PO answered.
"Made a special request, did he?" the con retorted snidely.
Di just rolled her eyes and walked the taller woman out to the waiting car. Once inside, she attached cuffs to herself and Nikki and they waited in silence. Voices were heard at the back of the car, but Nikki could not make them out. They sounded harsh. She really didn't care. She just wanted to get moving. Momentarily, the left rear door opened and Helen climbed in beside Nikki. Not looking at her, she grabbed the inmate's wrist and gently placed the handcuff on it, locked it and then did the same with her own wrist. Their hands briefly touched and Nikki had to fight to keep from gasping.
This is interesting she thought.
"Jim okay, Helen?" Di inquired.
"Yes, I just had more important matters for him to handle," the Governing Governor replied with an air of indifference.
More important matters? Nikki snorted aloud with derision. So that's how it's going to be? She's just here to taunt me.
"Let's get going," Helen leaned up and said to the driver. "We're going to be late."
Nikki's head was spinning as she listened to the testimony, which had been gathered by her solicitor in an attempt to reduce her sentence. She was acutely, painfully aware of Helen's presence beside her. She could hear her breathing and smell her subtle perfume. The prison official had given no sign of encouragement or even recognition throughout the morning and Nikki was beginning to get agitated. Yet, she knew she had to remain calm, in appearance at least, for the sake of the proceedings.
As they broke for lunch, Nikki looked to the balcony above, caught Trisha's eyes and smiled and waved, before exiting the courtroom.
"What do you want for lunch, Nikki?" Di Barker asked kindly as they entered the private waiting room.
"I'm not really hungry. I'll just skip it, if it's all the same to you." Nikki replied quietly, as she sat at the long conference table.
"Helen, do you want me to go get us some sandwiches?"
"No, Di, I'm not really hungry either. Why don't you go and have a nice sit-down lunch and relax," Helen encouraged. "We have over an hour before we're due back."
"Okay. You sure I can't bring you back something?" She asked, looking from one woman to the other.
"No, we're fine," they answered in unison.
Locking the door after the PO's departure, Helen turned to look at Nikki for the first time all day.
"Worried, I'm gonna do a runner?" Nikki jeered.
Ignoring her sarcastic tone, Helen said quietly, "Heavy stuff. You okay?"
"I'm fine," she answered petulantly, folding her arms over her chest and looking away.
"Nikki…" Helen began.
"Look, Helen, I don't know what you're doing here, but you're really beginning to get on my tits. I don't need this today. You made yourself clear, so please let me just deal with this trial as best I can… on my own," Nikki spewed with ill-disguised pain.
Helen recoiled at the harshness of the words, but masked her hurt with anger, and retorted, "Fine" before walking out of the room and locking the door behind her.
Part 3
Slamming her hand down on the table, Nikki muttered, "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!"
She quickly rose from her chair, took off her jacket and began pacing. Suddenly, the door flew open and Helen stood in front of her as suddenly as she had disappeared.
"Nicola Wade, you are the most frustrating person I have ever…"
Her words were halted by Nikki's mouth crashing down on hers. Helen reached behind to lock the door without breaking contact, then pushed Nikki back against the table. They kissed passionately, tongues battling for control, hands roaming, groping, fondling.
Taking a step back to catch her breath, Helen started, "Nikki…"
"Oh for fuck's sake, Helen. What do you want from me?" Nikki snapped.
"I don't want anything from you Nikki," Helen said with halting breath. "I just want you." Hesitating, Helen looked away before continuing, "It's always been you…I can't understand or explain what you do to me… kin'ell, my legs are like jelly just from a kiss."
Taking a deep breath and looking sheepish, Nikki reversed their positions. Helen moved back to sit down on the edge of the sparkling mahogany conference table. Placing a hand on Helen's cheek, Nikki leaned down and tenderly kissed her before saying with emotion, "And you have no idea what you do to me."
Capturing her lips with her own once more, Nikki gently pushed Helen onto her back atop the table bending at the waist to follow. "I love you," she whispered into Helen's throat as her tongue made a path up to her ear. "And I want you, right here, right now."
Helen's eyes opened wide, fear and desire waging a war within.
"Don't worry, you said we have over an hour and there are no cameras in here… that would be a violation of my privacy, wouldn't it," Nikki smiled ironically and shrugged.
Nikki moved her hands to each side of Helen's hips and grabbing the hem of her sweater, slid it up the table and over her head, as Helen arched her back to assist.
"You want this as much as I do, don't you? Tell me Helen. Tell me what you want," Nikki pleaded.
"I…I want you, Nikki." Helen whispered back and reached for Nikki's shirt to pull her down roughly. As their lips met yet again, all doubt fled the room, Helen wrapped her arms around the inmate, and Nikki felt like she was coming home.
The lifer took a deep breath to try and forget where she was and to suppress the emotions, which threatened to overwhelm her. She then quickly unhooked the front clasp of Helen's bra, leaned back down and took a creamy, smooth breast into her mouth, sucking hard.
"Fffffuu….oh, god, Nikki," Helen moaned as she grabbed Nikki's head and pulled her closer. She was still amazed at the sharp and immediate reaction between her legs at the woman's touch.
Still teasing and tugging at a taut nipple with her lips, Nikki reached to pull Helen's skirt up, brown eyes never leaving green ones. She slid her hand up the inside of Helen's shaking thigh and slipped her fingers into the side of the lace knickers.
"God, you are soaking wet."
Gasping at the touch, Helen thrust her hips up towards Nikki's gently stroking hand, which suddenly stopped and withdrew.
"Nikki, please…" she implored.
"Just need better positioning darling," the tall woman explained before tugging the knickers down with both hands and shoving them in her trouser pocket. She smiled knowingly and reached down to grab Helen's calf to lift a boot-encased foot onto the table.
Hesitating a moment longer to gaze at the vision in front of her, Nikki then moved to plunge her fingers deep and began a steady pace in and out forcing Helen's entire body to slide up and down the polished table. Nikki's other hand reached up to steady the supine woman.
"Oh, yes…oh, god… yes," Helen moaned as she wrapped her raised leg around Nikki's waist, pulling her in closer.
Nikki leaned down to kiss and lick the space between Helens breasts, hand still thrusting. Silence enveloped the room save the sound of flesh on flesh and heavy breathing.
"Come for me, love," Nikki commanded moments later.
As she felt the tell-tale tightening around her fingers, she moved her thumb to graze the swollen clit with each movement. As Helen's body jerked in release, she cried out Nikki's name and looked up in fear of being heard. Not moving, Nikki felt Helen constricting in and out with continual waves, and she leaned down to take her throbbing knob in her mouth.
"I can't. God, Nikki, I can't." she whispered hoarsely.
"Yes, you can. Deep breaths," Nikki instructed, slowly removing her fingers, while tracing Helen's folds with her lips, dipping her tongue into moistness before returning to her clit. "You taste bloody fantastic," she enthused.
"Shh, what's that?" Helen suddenly asked in a panic, raising herself up on an elbow.
Footsteps in the hall were getting closer, so Nikki jumped back and grabbed Helen's hand to pull her up. Helen's shaking hands quickly snapped her bra clasp together and reached for her jumper.
The doorknob rattled. "Helen, you in there?" came the sing-song voice of Di Barker. "The door's locked. I think they're about to call us back in," she yelled through the door.
"Okay, we're ready," Helen yelled back, pulling her jumper over her head, smoothing her hair down and jumping to her feet.
Nikki moved across the room to retrieve her jacket as Helen looked back at her and mouthed, "how do I look?"
"You look okay…like you've just been shagged, but otherwise okay," she cheekily whispered.
"Sod you, Nikki," Helen threw back with a smile, anxiety in her voice.
"It's okay, Helen. You look fine." Nikki replied kindly.
They looked at each other with complete understanding and Helen nodded as she opened the door.
"How was your lunch?"
Part 4
"Oh, hi… Claire… Trish." Helen managed to say a little too loudly, as the three women walked through the door. She turned as they passed with a panic-stricken look thrown at Nikki.
"Sorry I had to run out like that," Claire said. "I had a crisis with another case. But it looks like we are delayed a bit, so just continue with what you were doing…we have time. Did you have lunch?"
Helen's face was flushed and Nikki's eyes were glued to the ground.
"I offered, but they didn't want anything," Di piped in.
Trish looked from one woman to the other and moved to hug Nikki. The tall con kept her hands firmly in her trouser pockets and leaned into Trisha. The blonde's eyes squinted and she glared at Nikki without saying a word.
"I need the loo," Nikki said, clearing her throat.
"I'll take you," Di offered. "Let's go."
As the two women exited, Helen and Trish stared at each other. Claire looked from one to the other, coughed a bit and said, "Um, ladies, we have a slight problem."
They both turned their heads quickly towards Claire and said "what?" simultaneously.
As Nikki closed the door to the single bathroom, she let out the breath she had been holding and leaned her head against the closed door. Fuck, she thought. What was that? Reaching into her trouser pocket, she brought Helen's knickers up to face, taking in the woman's scent. She felt totally overwhelmed by the events of the day. And this delay was only adding to her anxiety.
Moving toward the sink, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and quickly realized why Trish seemed miffed. Her hair was all mussed and her makeup was smudged. Damn, She thought as she washed her face and hands. This is not good.
What was she thinking? Of course, once again, she knew that intelligent thought did not play a role when Helen Stewart was around. Her hormones were in control and she let them have their way…again.
But what did this mean for Helen? She had said she wanted Nikki. What did that really mean? Was there a chance for them… if she…if she was released today? Too many un-answered questions... still. And they were all out of Nikki Wade's control.
Taking advantage of her few moments of solitude and desperately needing to relieve some tension, Nikki unbuttoned her trousers and reached into her knickers.
But, a knock on the door halted her plans.
"Nikki, it's me. I need to speak with you."
Bloody hell. She thought as she quickly pulled up her zipper, shoved the knickers back into her pocket and reached for the door.
Standing staring at each other, Helen broke the silence, "Can you come out of there. We need to discuss your case with Claire."
Nikki saw the panic in Helen's eyes and moved back into the loo. "No," she simply stated. "You come in here."
Helen hesitated for a moment, looked up and down the hall, and followed Nikki into the small space.
Turning back towards the prison official, Nikki opened her arms and Helen moved into the embrace.
"Don't say anything yet. Please just let me hold you. Let this moment last," Nikki whispered into Helen's hair.
Helen understood and looked up at the other woman… this woman who totally captivated her and who was totally frightened at the possibility of bad news on this day. She leaned up to place a gentle kiss on the lips that had moments before been between her legs. The thought of that made Helen deepen the kiss and Nikki's eyes opened wider.
Moving her hands down to Helen's skirt, Nikki pulled her in closer, while backing up against the sink. Shifting a bit, her pelvic bone landed front and center and the intimate contact made Helen jump.
"I'm still so sensitive," she whispered incredulously. "But I believe turn-about is in order." And with that she reached for the top of Nikki's trousers and unzipped them. As she moved to slide them down, Nikki grabbed her wrists to stop her. "It's too risky. Leave them on," she instructed and pushed Helen's hand under the waistband of her knickers. "But, please, touch me. I need to feel you inside me."
Helen's hand moved swiftly to touch the swollen clit and moisture between Nikki's legs and she gasped at the realization that she was the cause of the woman's arousal. She was in awe of the sight of Nikki's half closed eyes and parted lips, as she stroked and pressed against her. A moan escaped from deep in Nikki's throat when Helen entered her and began a slow and steady, although limited, thrusting motion.
"Ohhh… Harder… Faster…. Please… oh, yes, fuck me, Helen. I need this," Nikki said between clenched teeth.
Taken aback by Nikki's crude words, Helen took her rising ire out on the woman and thrust harder and faster, sending Nikki over the edge.
Regaining her balance, Nikki leaned down to kiss Helen, but the small woman removed her hand and brusquely pushed her aside to wash them.
"Hey… hey…what's wrong?" Nikki asked as she zipped up her trousers. "That was blood fantastic!"
"Is that what this was for you, Nikki? A quick shag before you start your life with Trish again?" Helen exploded.
"Huh? Oh, Helen. I didn't mean to make it sound like that…I just got carried away…"
"I saw the look in her eyes in the conference room… she still wants you." Helen said passionately with lowered voice.
"Helen, it's not like that… I mean we talked about giving it another go, but…"
"… and I've seen how you turn to her in court for support," Helen continued her rant.
"Well, it's not like I was getting anything… ANYTHING… from you in there," Nikki shot back, frustration building again.
"What was I supposed to do, Nikki? Hold your bloody hand in there?" Helen replied, green eyes flashing, turning darker.
"Helen, Nikki… you okay in there?" Claire called at the door as she knocked.
Nikki yanked the door open and said sarcastically to her solicitor, "fine… everything's just bloody marvelous." And with that she stormed back towards the conference room.
"So, she didn't take the news well then?" Claire asked her friend kindly.
"She doesn't know. I hadn't told her yet." Helen said resignedly.
"But you were in there for fifteen minutes. We thought she just needed time. What were you…"
"Leave it Claire," Helen said firmly as they walked towards the conference room.
As they got close to the door, they both heard the crash and Nikki's pained "NOOOO!" and they hurried into the room.
Part 5
As Helen and Claire got to the open door of the conference room, they immediately saw the shattered water pitcher on the floor and the hole in the plaster where it had been thrown. They did not see anyone in the room, but they heard wracking sobs coming from the end of the table. Helen rushed down the length of it.
Nikki was kneeling with Trish in her arms, kissing her hair and whispering, "it'll be alright… it will… you'll see." The intimate moment would have been touching, had Helen not known the cause of it.
Sensing her presence, Nikki looked up with such heartache in her eyes, that Helen felt like she had been slapped. Trish too turned to look at Helen and as her expression of pain turned to one of unrestrained hostility, she said through clenched teeth, "Fix this."
Claire reached for Helen's shoulders and, upon seeing the anguish on her face as she turned to her, realized the extent of her friend's feelings for Nikki for the first time.
"Helen, I'm sorry, but you and Miss Barker need to step outside. I need to confer with my client," she said as kindly, but as firmly as possible.
Standing still, Helen looked back at Nikki, who would no longer look her way.
"Helen… please," Claire implored.
With a simple nod and pursed lips, Helen turned to leave.
"You know they're not mine, don't you Miss? It's a set up," Nikki said with contempt to her retreating back.
As they left the room, Di Barker turned to her Governor and asked, "What's happened, Helen?"
"They've found drugs hidden in Nikki's mattress," Helen said with as calm a voice as she could muster. Then she walked away from the PO, instructing, "you stay here" as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket.
The appeals process was suspended for the day as the news reached the judges. Nikki's Barrister successfully implored the court not to halt the proceedings entirely until at least a preliminary investigation could be completed. They were given two days to verify or invalidate the charges of possession.
Claire, Nikki and Trish had met for a brief time, but could not really accomplish much. The time was spent mostly consoling Trisha, who fortunately chose to ignore the glaring sexual tension between Helen and Nikki.
Di Barker alone escorted Nikki back to Larkhall that afternoon. She did not question Helen's absence, just accepted it as a forgone conclusion. She's gone for good now, she thought.
Nikki knew that the only way she could clear her name was to return to Larkhall and call in every favor of every con she knew to suss out the culprit. But for the first time, she actually did not feel helpless in the situation, She knew her mates would help, especially Yvonne. She also knew in her heart of hearts that Jim Fenner was somehow behind this, but she would likely never be able to prove that. Accepting that was going to be the hardest thing she had to do. But she had to save herself now. She couldn't be responsible for trying to take him down, as much as she wanted to.
She arrived just as everyone sat to eat. The room fell silent before a chant of "Nikki… Nikki… Nikki" began. Oh, the mixed emotions tumbling through her. She had met some really special people in here…women who would be with her for the rest of her life. Nikki stayed standing and waited for everyone to quiet down.
"Just get your food, Wade… and sit down," Bodybag snarled. "You aren't the bloody queen."
Ignoring her, Nikki began, "I'm sure you've all heard that my appeal has been halted for a bit until we can figure out who decided to use my mattress to store their gear. So, you'll get to have me around a bit longer. Hope you don't mind." She turned and winked at Yvonne, before turning for the stairs.
"Oh, no… you're not going back to the threes," Sylvia said sarcastically. "You're headed down the block. For your own security."
"And I'll take her there myself," Fenner smirked as he came up behind the con.
Nikki stiffened at his presence, but tried to remain calm. Provoking him would do no good. She turned, smiled and said, "I'm sure you will, Mr. Fenner," then walked confidently towards the gate.
Part 6
"So, where's your guardian angel now, Wade? She finally see you for the dykey scum you are?" Fenner taunted into Nikki's ear as he squeezed her arm hard, guiding her into the cell.
"Dunno, Fenner… you should know where she is…you know, keep your enemies close and all," Nikki retorted as Fenner pushed her back into the bunk.
Leaning in closer, he sneered, "She can't touch me and you know it… and she knows it… she's resigning you know… afraid your dirty little secret will come out, so to speak, so she's not going to help you out of this one, love. Get comfy, you're going to be here a while." And with that, he turned to leave, but suddenly stopped. "Oh, I almost forgot… strip," he demanded and pointed to the strips on the bed.
The hair on the back of Nikki's neck stood up and she began to taste fear in her mouth. Uncertain of how to proceed, she stood defiantly with her arms crossed, glaring at him.
Smiling knowingly, Fenner leaned back against the cell door with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. A sudden knock caused him to frown. He moved to open the door. Di Barker walked in and said, "Jim, Miss Stewart needs to see you in her office. I'll finish up here."
Nikki felt relief wash over her, as the smarmy PO walked out without a backwards glance.
Glancing down at the strips on the bunk, Di said kindly, "There's no need for those, Nikki. This is just a precaution. If what you said to Miss Stewart is true, then someone has it in for you. Here are your things," she finished as she handed the two plastic bags to the con.
"Any way I can get a shower?" Nikki asked as she placed the bags on the bunk, exhaustion filling her voice.
"Shouldn't be a problem. I'll be back in a bit to get you," Di replied gently.
As the door was closed and locked, Nikki finally let out the breath she had been holding. She sat down on the bunk and let all of the emotions of the day wash over her, trying not to isolate or even identify any of them. It would be too much. She needed to gather her wits and try to work out the "who" and the "how" of her set up for possession. She knew that her cell would have been locked after she departed, to prevent just such an occurrence, so ostensibly that pointed either to her guilt or the guilt of a screw. She knew that would be hard to prove, so she had to rely on her mates to try and gather any possible evidence. Nikki Wade was not good at needing the help of others, but that assistance was going to be her only salvation.
Fenner had said Helen was resigning. Was he just winding her up or had something happened to push Helen to abandon her career? It was probably best that the Governing Governor stay clear of any of this ugliness anyway. And she had already done so much for Nikki in getting her appeal underway. The last thing Nikki wanted was to put Helen in harm's way. Although that thought had been thrown out the window earlier today, when Nikki had made love to the beautiful woman. Just thinking about the incident made Nikki's clit throb, so she aggressively shook her head to rid her mind of the image of Helen below her on the conference table.
Looking down at her meager possessions, she caught sight of the familiar pink book. Helen had given her a copy of Sophie's World ages ago and, although she had read it only once, she had thumbed through it and held it tightly more times than she could count. The contents of the book were quite dry and Nikki was not a big fan of philosophical theory to begin with, but the simple gesture by the then Wing Governor spoke volumes about the direction their relationship was headed in. Yet all the strife between then and now had caused so much uncertainty that it made Nikki's head hurt.
Sighing deeply, Nikki's thoughts turned to Trish. They had discussed giving their relationship another go if she were to be released, but Nikki knew that regardless of what happened between her and Helen, it would be unfair to start again half-heartedly. Trish deserved more than that. Nikki just needed to make her see that before she hurt her any more.
So, here she sat at another crossroads, with no control over which direction fate would take her in. But for some strange reason, although emotionally and mentally fatigued, Nikki felt an overwhelming sense of peace descend on her.
This is going to work out. I'm going to be okay, she thought as she lay back on the thin mattress that was to be her bed for the night… hopefully her final night in Larkhall.
Helen felt her skin crawl as Jim Fenner walked into her office. They had had their last run in that week concerning his involvement in Virginia O'Kane's brothels and he had threatened to expose her presumed relationship with Nikki. She hoped to resolve the situation here and now.
"Jim, have a seat." Helen said as she nodded towards the chair in front of the desk, her face a stony mask, her manner abrupt. "It looks like we have a pretty serious situation here. And I know that Nikki Wade is not one of your favorite people. But we need to make sure she gets a fair hearing related to these drug allegations. I've suspected her of using before and this just confirms my suspicions. But with her appeal hanging in the balance, we need to make sure we have all the evidence we can."
The PO had listened with disdain, assuming the Governor was going to side with the lifer, but he immediately became alert and squinted his eyes at the mention of "her suspicions."
"Really? And what's caused this change of heart towards your pet project?" He smirked maliciously.
"Look, Jim… you've accused me of some pretty incriminating behavior, and I s'pose if I were in your shoes I would have assumed something similar. But, I'm with Thomas and I really do not want to cock that up. And I have every intention of leaving Larkhall as soon as I can find an open position elsewhere. So, if you can just do your job to the best of your ability, then when the drugs charge sticks, we'll ship her out first thing. How does that sound to you?"
Still not totally convinced, Fenner asked, "What happens if the evidence is not sufficient to prove the charges? What then?"
"Well, then I guess her appeal goes forward and based on all I've heard so far, she stands a very good chance of getting out with a reduced sentence. Either way, she's no longer our problem."
Seeing his continued skepticism, Helen spat out angrily, "Look, I'm asking for your help here to get her out of my hair. She's become a liability. Do you think I like having to come to you for this?"
Watching her closely, Fenner made the quick decision that he had nothing to lose in the situation. "I don't like that outcome, but you're right, no longer our headache. I'll get on it right away. I think I know who can provide some solid information. I have heard about Wade's drug use and even some dealing, so my source will likely have plenty to show," he said, almost with glee.
"Well, then… you and I… we're done then… right?" Helen said, glaring at him, not hiding her disgust.
Rising to leave, he threatened, "Oh, sure, sure…as long as everything goes as planned."
"Right then," she answered almost to herself, as he left her office.
Part 7
After Jim Fenner left her office, Helen felt like she needed a bath. But Claire had called and asked to see her immediately. When her PA announced her arrival, Helen was shocked to see Trish standing on the other side of the door.
"Can I come in? I asked Claire not to tell you I was coming. Thought you might not see me," Trish said stiffly.
"No, please come in. I know you must be quite upset, but you have to know I can't give you any information." Helen replied as she waved towards one of the chairs in front of her desk.
As Trish sat, Helen chose the chair beside her and lowered herself into it. She then asked cautiously, "So what can I do for you?"
"I had a bit of an epiphany this afternoon and wanted to discuss Nikki's future with you." Trish answered defiantly, her blue eyes flashing.
"Look, Trish, I don't know what you thought you saw, but…"
"Helen, she's in love with you. I have eyes you know. She never once, in nine years, looked at me the way she looks at you."
"But…"
Holding up her hand, Trish said more quietly, "Stop. Let me finish. Now I know how she feels, but I need to know how you feel before I step aside… before I let her go, for a second time. Do you feel the same?"
Helen was staring at her entwined hands in her lap before she looked up at Trish with tears in her eyes saying emotionally, "I've never loved someone more. Yes… I am in love with Nikki Wade… There I've said it. But I don't know what good that will do her. I think she'd be better off without me."
"Helen, you must not know Nikki all that well, if you think she's just going to let you go," Trish declared.
"She did already… once before. When I… when I abandoned her and couldn't handle the stress of our situation. She let me go because she thought that was what I wanted," Helen whispered.
'But don't you see… that was Nikki being Nikki… she'll sacrifice her own well-being and happiness for someone she loves. Look what she did for me for goodness sake. She was willing to give up her whole life to protect me. That's what that was, Helen. She just wanted you to be happy. That's how she operates…our Nikki," Trish confided with tears in her own eyes. "Now go to her and tell her how you feel, before I change my mind and fight for her."
True to her word, Di Barker came back late in the evening to take Nikki to the showers.
"I appreciate this, you know," Nikki said quietly to the PO's back as she followed her on the landing.
"Nikki, I know this may seem like a huge mountain, but you'll get over it. You've got friends working on it," the shorter woman replied as she turned back to her with a wink.
"Hmm, yes I hope so," Nikki muttered back, wondering what Yvonne and the Julies might be working on.
Di left her in the shower room alone and stood outside the door. Nikki sighed heavily as she moved to a shower stall and placed her toiletries inside. She undressed, turned the water on and stepped under the warm cascade, not even bothering to close the ineffective curtain. She quickly lathered and rinsed for fear of running out of hot water, but then she began to relax, as the water stayed a nice warm temperature.
The tension in her shoulders loosened a bit and she leaned her head onto her forearm against the tiles. Her other hand moved between her legs as she recalled the day's events.
This was how Helen found her several minutes later when she entered the room. She took a few moments to stare at Nikki's naked backside… her strong shoulders, long, lean legs, firm ass.
Unaware that she was there, Nikki moaned softly as she stroked herself in anticipation of release.
Helen's heart stopped as she realized what Nikki was doing and she let out a surprised, "Nikki!" at the knowledge.
Nikki did not even flinch when she realized she was being watched. She simply continued rubbing her clit, as her breath began to get more ragged.
"Nikki, please… stop. I can't take this. You don't know what you are doing to me. Please," Helen pleaded through her own shaky breaths, as blood rushed to her head and between her legs.
Nikki was close to orgasm as she felt Helen's eyes on her, so she picked up her pace and huskily moaned, "oh, Helen," as she came hard.
Helen felt faint. She moved backwards, hands reaching for the sink to steady herself. "Good god, Nikki… I felt that."
Nikki stepped fully beneath the spray of water, then slowly turned with a serious expression, looked Helen in the eyes knowingly and said, "I wanted you to feel it. It's what you do to me, Helen. Don't you see… Come here."
"I can't. Not here. Not right now. I want to… oh, please know that I want to," Helen stated clearly without hesitation. "I just… I'm sorry. But, Nikki…"
"I know, dahlin," Nikki interjected, watching Helen closely. "We have to sort this mess first."
"It's being taken care of. Just trust me swee'heart… in the best way possible," Helen told her.
"Helen, I don't want you involved," Nikki stated firmly, as she turned the water off and reached for her towel. "Fenner told me you were going to resign. Is that true?"
"Nikki, you don't need to worry about that right now. I am taking care of Fenner, too."
"What? How?" Nikki asked as she stepped out of the shower and moved closer to the Governor, holding the towel against her chest, barely covering herself.
"It's not your concern. By the way, Trish came to see me this evening," Helen said, trying to change the subject and not look at Nikki's still wet leg and naked shoulder.
The ploy worked. "She what?" Nikki asked incredulously, eyes wide open.
"Yes, she told me you were in love with me and that I had better feel the same way or I'd have her to answer to," she said cheekily, smiling at the tall woman in front of her. More softly, Helen continued, her eyes never leaving Nikki's "and I told her that indeed, I was in love with you, so here I am… telling you. Hoping it's not too late to try and salvage what we have… what we had."
Nikki reached a hand to cup Helen's cheek and replied emotionally, "It would never be too late for us, Helen. I know we are meant to be together, so if it had taken you 5, 10 years to realize that too, I would still want you, still love you."
"How can you be so certain, Nikki? Especially with all my doubts and fears plaguing us?" Helen asked honestly.
"It's just how it is," the tall con simply answered with a shrug, as she moved in closer.
Helen could feel the heat emanating from Nikki's body, and once again felt weak, almost nauseous, with desire. Moving sideways, she put some distance between them, saying, "I… I have to go. I have a bit more work to do."
"Yeah, I know," Nikki replied, moving still closer to Helen. "But before you go…" and closing the distance, she leaned in and kissed Helen lightly. "I love you."
This tenderest of kisses was Helen's undoing. Knowing that Di Barker was well on her way home and that no one else knew where they were, she grabbed Nikki by the shoulders and spun them both around. Nikki's eyes were wide with surprise and a smile tugged at her lips. Helen pushed her back against the sink and she yelped as she made contact with the cold porcelain.
Leaning up and reaching a hand behind Nikki's neck, she pulled her in and kissed her passionately, her tongue seeking Nikki's. Her other hand ran down the length of Nikki's side and around to the curve of her back. She moaned into Nikki's mouth as her hand caressed the indentation and moved lower.
Still peering into Nikki's eyes, she stepped back and stated with halting breath, " I love you and I want you." With that she bent and took a taut nipple in her mouth and sucked and teased it, as Nikki groaned and brought her hands up into Helen's hair, the useless towel falling between them. "Oh, god Helen…"
Helen then placed both hands on Nikki's hips and lowered herself onto her knees, emerald eyes glued to amber ones. She raised Nikki's leg and rested it on her thigh before leaning in and licking Nikki's still engorged clit. Her tongue moved up and around the swollen knob, before she sucked and took it fully into her mouth. She had one arm wrapped around Nikki's ass and the other hand moved up to find her centre. Helen moaned at the wetness dripping down Nikki's inner thigh and quickly thrust her fingers deep inside the eager woman.
Nikki stifled a loud moan before gasping for air, as her knee began to weaken. She reached back with both hands and held onto the sink, as Helen more forcefully thrust her hand in and out and continued to move her tongue across her clit. The slight whimper, which escaped from Helen's throat, put Nikki into sensory overload and her orgasm slammed into her like a freight train. Helen slowed her movements and finally pulled herself up into Nikki's embrace.
"My god, Helen. What you do to me." Nikki breathed into her hair. "You're a bit overdressed though," she continued as she pushed Helen back, reached down and placed her hands on her breasts.
"I really have to go," Helen whispered and removed herself from Nikki's touch. She moved towards the door of the shower room and as she got to it, she turned and said "I'll send somebody for you in a bit. And I expect you'll return my knickers when you get out of here tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah… I'll return them all right," Nikki replied with a wide grin.
Part 8
Helen splashed water on her face in the screw's loo and peered at her reflection in the mirror. Kin'ell, Stewart, you have lost your mind. But that thought made her smile broadly. Nikki Wade had a profound and positive effect on her… that she could not deny. And she was thankful that she had woken up in time to realize just how right this was.
Thinking of the trap that had been set for Fenner made her smile even more. She made her way onto the wing and walked up to the threes. Finding Yvonne in her cell, she walked in and closed the door behind her.
"Well?" Helen asked with eyebrows raised.
"It's sorted. Tonight. It will all be over." Yvonne answered with a knowing smirk.
"That's good. Anything I need to know or do?" Helen continued in a business-like tone.
"No, you just go about your normal routine," Yvonne instructed.
"Okay, then." Helen said as she turned to leave. She hesitated at the door and turned back to Yvonne, speaking more softly. "I appreciate this. Nikki will appreciate it too, you know."
"Yeah, tell her good luck for me… good luck to both of you," the tough con answered sincerely looking Helen right in the eyes.
Helen nodded and quickly left the cell.
Nikki lay on the hard bunk in the segregation cell and looked around her dark surroundings. The light from outside the window danced on the wall, creating long lines of shadows. The familiar noises from the other cells and wings provided little comfort, but she still felt less restless than the night before. Everything was out of her control… whether she was cleared of the new charges, whether her appeal was successful… all of it was going to play out the way it would. But she had the love of a beautiful Scotswoman and that made the world right. She felt at ease for the first time in a very long time and hoped for sleep to come quickly so that the new day and all its answers would be upon her.
A key in the lock startled Nikki out of her reverie. As she sat up, she saw the familiar silhouette.
"Hiya, Nikki," Helen called cheerily into the darkness.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
"Well, I realized that you'll be searched tomorrow as you leave for court, and wanted to reclaim the contraband that might get you in a spot of trouble," Helen answered cheekily as she closed the cell door and walked towards the bunk.
"Yes, well, I'm not so sure I'm ready to give up my little trophy," Nikki replied mischievously, while swinging her legs around to sit up.
"Do I have to fight you for them, then?" Helen continued in the same playful tone standing in front of Nikki.
"Maybe," Nikki replied with a smile, while she grabbed the woman by the lapels and pulled her in for a kiss. She wrapped her legs around Helen to keep her in place, pulling her in even closer.
"Hmmm…" Helen murmured into Nikki's mouth as her body melted into the dark-haired woman's. Helen crawled on top and straddled Nikki, bringing her legs around to wrap around her waist.
They hungrily kissed, hands fumbling on each other.
Helen then reached into the waistband of the lose-fitting trousers Nikki had on. At the same time, Nikki pushed Helen's already raised skirt up further and moved her hand up her thigh.
"Oi! What's this?" She exclaimed as her hand touched the band of silk covering Helen's most intimate places. "I thought…."
"Nikki… I certainly couldn't have spent the day in a skirt without knickers on. I stopped off at home after leaving the courthouse," Helen explained.
"Hmm. Practical, you are," Nikki mused, pushing the material aside and sliding a finger along Helen's centre. Helen's hand also reached its goal and began to massage and tug on Nikki's very swollen clit. As they pleasured each other, they looked into each other's eyes, kissed sensually and whispered words of encouragement.
Suddenly a loud commotion in the hall startled them and Nikki quickly jumped out of bed. Looking around she realized that she was alone and that she had been dreaming, but that the screaming in the hall was very real.
"I didn't do it. Tell them Miss… I didn't do it. It weren't me," came the very angry voice of Yvonne Atkins.
"Yvonne! What's happening? What's wrong?" Nikki called out at the door to her cell.
"Nikki! They are framing me for murder."
"Who's been killed?"
"Virginia O'Kane. But I didn't do it," Yvonne continued yelling. Nikki could hear the sounds of a scuffle as she assumed Yvonne was battling the PO's escorting her to the cell beside her own.
"Please, Yvonne. Don't make this harder on yourself," Nikki heard Helen plead.
"But, Miss…."
"Shut it, Atkins," Helen said more forcefully.
As Nikki heard the door to the cell slam shut, she waited. Her patience was rewarded by the sound of a key in the lock to her cell. She moved back as the door opened and smiled as Helen came into view in the doorframe.
"Hiya, Nikki," Helen said, exhaustion lacing her words.
"Hey. You're still here. What time is it?" Nikki inquired kindly.
"It's after 2. And I had gone home, but came back."
"What's happened?"
"You heard. Virginia O'Kane has been drowned and Yvonne was the last one to see her." Helen's voice was void of emotion and as she sighed deeply, Nikki caught sight of the two screws standing outside the cell door.
"Um, Governor, should we stay down here or go spin Atkins' cell?" asked a young night shift PO.
"Yes, go search her cell. I'll close up here," she instructed.
As the two officers left, Helen turned and closed the cell door. She moved towards Nikki who had sat on the edge of the bunk.
"You okay?" Nikki asked as she reached out to grab hold of Helen's hands.
"Yes, it's just been a long day. Eventful, for sure."
"To say the least," Nikki agreed. She pulled Helen down onto her lap.
The two women sat face-to-face smiling wearily at each other. Nikki's hands moved to either side of Helen's face, her thumbs stroking the soft cheeks, while Helen's hands ran through Nikki's hair. Although they were thoroughly exhausted, both women were reveling in the undisturbed intimacy… not saying a word… just touching and re-familiarizing themselves with the other.
After several moments, Nikki leaned forward and gently kissed Helen, before saying, "I can't believe you're actually in here with me. This is bloody insane, you know?"
"Yes, well, love makes you do crazy things."
"Really, Helen? You really love me? You're sure about this?"
"Nicola Wade, I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you." Helen stated unequivocally. "I just didn't know that's what that pain in my chest and that ache in the pit of my stomach meant. I am just so sorry that I have put you through so much swee'heart. I know how I feel now and I am certain that I want to be with you."
Nikki let out the breath she had been holding since asking the question and simply stated, "Good. That's very good. Because you know how much I love you." She pulled Helen close and just held onto her, taking in her scent.
After several minutes, Nikki asked, "So what happens next? Do you think Yvonne did this?"
"No, of course not, but I have to follow procedures… it's for her own protection, really. Whoever killed Virginia may be after Yvonne too?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well… something else has happened tonight…. Jim Fenner has been arrested. He was caught in a sting operation at one of O'Kane's brothels."
"The filthy wanker, serves him right." Nikki spat.
"No, you don't understand, Nikki. He was there to pick up the weekly take. He's been working for Virginia. He was caught red-handed…. And it was Yvonne's daughter, Lauren, who tipped off the police. In fact, Yvonne and Virginia have been working together to frame Fenner for some time. Yvonne got me involved initially, but we all quickly learned that I'd never make a good DI. And of course, Fenner turned the tables on me regarding you."
"So, he's finished? For real this time?" Nikki dared to ask.
"Yes, my love. He can't hurt us any more."
"What about the drugs found in my cell?"
"We just had to follow Fenner's trail of lies and we sussed out the culprit. One of the new girls was coerced into planting them and once we got her alone in a room, she fell apart and confessed everything. Your appeal will move forward tomorrow and Claire thinks there's really no way you won't be released."
Nikki sat taking it all in, her hand covering her mouth as a single tear slid down her cheek.
"I can't believe it. But what does this mean for us, Helen? How do we…"
"Shhh. We'll figure it out. I have to stay here a bit longer, until Yvonne is cleared and this mess is sorted, but after that, I'm resigning. Then we can start a life together. We'll both be free of this place." Tears welled in Helen's eyes as well as she realized the enormity of it all. "I have to go."
"Sure. I know. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Of course, and every day after that."
"That sounds really good."
"Yeah, it does have a nice ring to it," Helen smiled as she rose to leave.
As she got to the door, she turned and said with a conspiratorial wink, "Oh, by the way, I'll take those knickers now. Wouldn't want them found… might cock up your chances of release."
The End