DISCLAIMER: Women's Murder Club and its characters are the property of James Patterson, 20th Century Fox Television and ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
The Seed We've Sown
By Aubz
Chapter Two - Here With Me
Jill gently tapped on the apartment door. She smiled as Cindy opened the door. "Well, come on in." She said. "I promise I won't drag you to my bedroom the second you cross the threshold." She added, moving aside so Jill could enter the cozy apartment. This time she actually took the time to look around as she sat down on the couch. Cindy had her laptop sitting on the coffee table, with various notepads scattered around. The television was on, some cartoon from the early nineties playing silently. The room had a bare but homey feel to it, and Jill couldn't help but smile as Cindy sat down on the floor, leaning against the couch and finished the paragraph she was typing. "Sorry if it seems like I am ignoring you. I just have a thought pattern going, and I don't want to lose it. Just give me like, five more minutes."
"No problem." Jill said, watching how quickly her fingers moved over the keyboard, her eyes not even having to leave the screen. Exactly five minutes later, Cindy stopped typing, saved the file, and closed her laptop before pulling herself up on to the couch next to Jill.
"Look, about today in the hallway.." She started.
"Forget about it. I need to get some stuff off my chest, so I am going to be semi-polite and tell you to keep your mouth shut until I am done talking, clear?" Cindy nodded. "I have spent all day trying to figure out why I think this is so wrong. And so far, nothing. To me, it's weird and it's new. I mean, with all that has happened in the past six months. From Luke finding out about Hanson and myself, to Lindsay dropping that bombshell on us. It's been full of stress, and then add on our little..I don't even know what to call it. I mean, it wasn't a one-night stand..at least, I don't think it was. We both wanted that to happen, and I won't deny that I may have been a little more into it than you. Since you waltzed onto a crime scene and into my life, nothing has been clear. You have a way to make me feel like I am the only person in the room, even when you aren't even talking to me. And it's a new feeling and it scares the shit out of me." She took a deep breath and looked directly at Cindy. "I am falling in love with you."
Cindy closed her eyes and for a moment, Jill thought the younger woman was going to kick her out of the apartment. When Cindy's eyes opened, there were tears in them. "Honestly? I have no idea what I feel for you. I have never been in love, so I don't even know if I am falling for you. It's all confusing to me. And with the fact that I don't know if I am falling for you or not, and you knowing for a fact that you are falling for me just makes me feel like a jerk because I feel like I am completely letting you down by not knowing." She took a deep breath and smiled. "Welcome to the land of the world's longest run on sentences." She whispered, looking to her hands. She realized that while she had been talking, Jill had closed the distance between them on the couch and their legs were almost touching.
"You aren't a jerk. Just slightly annoying." Jill laughed softly, and held one of Cindy's hands on hers. "How about this? You give me a shot, and if nothing happens, then nothing happens and we go back to how things were. Deal?"
Cindy looked thoughtfully at Jill for a moment. "We'll never know if we are too afraid to start." She whispered. She was quiet for a moment as she watched the television. Jill pulled Cindy to her, wrapping her arms around her so they could both watch the show.
"What exactly are we watching?" Jill asked as Cindy made herself comfy and turned up the volume.
"Ren And Stimpy. My dad and I used to watch this show all the time when I was younger. It came on right when I would get home from school. We would sit on the couch with cans of pop and chips. Then when it was over we would put on tapes of Rocky and Bullwinkle." Cindy said, her voice quiet and soft. Jill had never really sat down and asked Cindy about her family. "Like I said before, I was the son he never had. But I was his angel. We would watch football, and then we would go out in the backyard and throw a football back and forth while mom would watch from the porch. When it would rain, we would still go out there. It was our thing. He loved football, and I love it because of him." She leaned in closer to Jill to hide the tears on her face. "I miss him, Jill. He was my best friend."
"I don't know what to say. I really don't." She whispered.
"You are doing fine just sitting here. I haven't had a shoulder to cry on in a long time." She said, readjusting herself so she could look at Jill. "You would have liked my dad." She added. After a few more moments of silence, she laughed.
"What?"
"I never told my dad I was a lesbian." She said, a smile still on her face, but tears in her eyes. "I don't know how he would feel about it. And sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder if he is proud of me."
"I think he is." Jill whispered, leaning down and genlty kissing Cindy.