DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls is the property of Shed productions, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women. The poem Plaguing was written by me and is therefore owned by me. It's all mine! You can't have it!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hate seeing things. Especially people. People you like. It's like they haunt you, and get under your skin. I hate it. The poem is just a small interpretation of Nikki's mindset during some of the episodes. I thought it would fit nicely with this piece.
CHALLENGE: Written for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Have you ever gotten so tired that you start seeing things? I have. I'm seeing things now.
I can see your face, and I can see your hands reaching for mine. I want to take hold of your hand, but I know it's not real. Seeing is certainly not believing. I can even hear you, whispering my name. It sounds so sexy with your accent. It's so hard being in here without you, and I know I can't change that in the near future. But that doesn't change the fact that I see you, in my mind, in my heart, and my soul burns to be with you.
I don't know what changed. It was something inside. Something happened inside me. I think it was you. You did something. You saw me, and you didn't turn away. Maybe that's it. I've been in here a long time, and I've gotten used to other people seeing more of my skin than I'd like. I'm at a point of not caring, except with you.
I feel naked, even when I stand in front of you fully clothed. I feel like that every time you look at me.
Stupid mind: now I'm seeing me kneeling in front of you, naked for the entire world to see. Maybe it's a way for my mind to let me know that I'm fallen for you utterly and completely? How easy I've given myself up this time It's almost shameful.
How do you do it? You make me so angry at times, and other times I go weak at the knees and can't even form words. I'd say it was your eyes, or your accent, or your gorgeous body, but I don't think it's just one of those things.
Am I asleep? Am I dreaming? I don't know any more. I can still see you. You're smiling. I love your smile. It's so bright and warm, with a hint of mischief. A single smile from you can sustain me for a week, a month even! And I could fall into those eyes of yours. They're so deep and sensuous.
Sometimes I resent these feelings, because of our positions in the system, but other times I rejoice at the happiness your presence gives me.
I'm a goner.
Companion Piece Just a creative interpretation
By Kerry Chorvat
Your image seeps into my mind
Your stance, your eyes
The essence of you in my head
Plaguing my every thought
The memory of your warmth
As we embraced goodbye
Lingers in my body
Plaguing my every sensation
The notion of your presence
Leaks into my sleep
An entire vision of you
Plaguing my every dream
The times we spent together
With others or alone
Spread through my life
Plaguing my every minute
The image of you
The memory of you
The notion of you
Plaguing my very soul
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