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SPOILERS: Season 3, episode Tough Love
Helen stood looking out the window at Nikki's potting shed with her arms crossed over chest mentally preparing for the onslaught she knew was coming from her upcoming meeting with Nikki. Helen knew damn good and well that Nikki was furious with her over the transfer of her new girlfriend, Caroline. She heard the approaching voice of Sylvia in the hallway and knew a huge and potentially brutal confrontation was pending.
"Oh well," she thought steeling herself, "Let's get this over with." She strategically moved to sit behind her desk thereby placing a barrier of wood in between herself and Nikki. Sylvia rapped briskly on Helen's door.
"Come in," Helen said. Helen turned her chair to the door so she could see just how pissed off Nikki was at her. However hard she had prepared herself for this moment, she was not ready for the look of sheer fury in Nikki's normally warm and inviting brown eyes.
"I brought the prisoner Nikki Wade to ya, Ma'am." Sylvia commented in her nasally tone of voice.
"Thank you Sylvia," Helen responded, "That will be all." Sylvia quickly turned on her heels shutting the door quietly behind her. Both women waited until she was out of range before speaking. It was like a gun fight in the old west. Neither one wanted to show weakness in speaking first but it was Nikki who shot off at the hip first.
"You just can't bear to see me happy, can you?" Nikki demanded leaning over Helen's desk as she said it.
"You are way off," Helen responded back.
"Why can't you just admit you're jealous?" Nikki shot back at her.
"I don't have to explain myself," Helen said trying to deflect the truth of Nikki's statement.
"Cause you haven't got the balls, that's why," Nikki retorted, pacing back and forth in little steps in front of Helen's desk. "You're like a big kid. You don't want the toy and you don't want anyone else to have it either," she continued. "Is this how it is gonna be? Every time I meet someone I like, they get moved out?"
"I won't be responsible for that when your wing governor gets back," Helen stated matter of factly.
"Betts would've never done this," she said empathically.
"Look Nikki," Helen said sternly ready to be rid of this conversation, "I've got no more to say on the matter." Nikki took a step towards her desk again and leaned down over it towering over Helen as she responded,
"And that's what you always do Helen, isn't it? You play the power game on me. Have you ever considered therapy? Christ knows you need it." Nikki turned her back to Helen to walk out of the office. Helen hurriedly arose from her chair and raced angrily to the door. She reached the door at the same time Nikki was opening it to leave. Helen quickly slammed the door shut, standing with her back to the door handle discreetly locking it behind her back with Nikki completely unaware.
"What sort of power trip are you on now, Helen?" Nikki questioned exasperated, her head cocked to one side in defiance. Helen crossed her arms over her chest again for a moment in a vain attempt to stifle her mounting anger, glaring at Nikki with a malicious gleam in her fiery green eyes.
"I said that I had no more to say on the matter," Helen started with a quiet storm of fury brewing in her voice. Helen took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing not wanting to be heard by anyone outside of her office, "But I lied. I'm not through with you yet, Nikki. Not by a long shot."
"Well forgive me for my confusion, Miss," sarcasm dripping from Nikki's words, "But I believe your exact words were 'It's over Nikki. You and me. I don't want anything more to do with you. Do you know something? I'm not even sad about it." Nikki's voice caught in her throat as she said the last few words. Helen uncrossed her arms, stalked across the room towards Nikki forcing the other woman backwards, stopping only when she had Nikki backed up against her couch.
"I can be a good liar, Nikki. When I have to be," Helen softly spoke, "But for you to believe me so quickly, believe my feelings for you so fickle, after all that we shared," wincing as the memories of kissing Nikki, touching Nikki, and making love to Nikki for the first time came flooding into her consciousness, "That was excruciating."
"Helen," Nikki said tenderly reaching for the other woman ready to forgive like she usually was. But she stopped short when she saw the look of turmoil and distrust in Helen's eyes.
"No Nikki, don't," Helen's voice wavered overflowing with a mixture of emotions, "You let her touch you, Nikki. And yes, I was jealous of her. I was so jealous that I could barely see straight. Jealous that you let her touch you in places that only I should've been able to touch. No matter what I said," Helen stressed the last words carefully. Nikki looked into Helen's eyes and wondered what she could say to begin to build a bridge between the vast valley that separated the two women from letting go and loving each other.
"You're right, I did," she admitted. Nikki's confession was meant to assuage and diffuse Helen's anger. However, Nikki was shocked to see the anger resurface in Helen's eyes once again, and instantly regretted having said anything at all regardless of her good intentions. Helen swiftly closed the distance between her and Nikki grabbing Nikki's head roughly into her hands forcing her to look into her eyes.
"Did she touch you here?" Helen demanded as she ran her hands across Nikki's right cheek, down the side of her neck, grasping the back of Nikki's head in her hands. Nikki felt like a caged animal knowing the true answer would hurt Helen, possibly irreparably. She was also aware that Helen knew her so well that she would see right through any lie she tried to tell, hurting her still. So, she did the only thing she could think of and gave no reply at all. Helen waited a moment for Nikki to respond and when she didn't, she grabbed the other side of Nikki's head with her right hand.
"Tell me Nikki!" she ordered.
"Yes!" Nikki stammered trying to look away but Helen held her head steadfast in place forcing Nikki to meet her steely green gaze. "Yes, she did, alright?"
"No, it's not alright, damn it!" Helen said with subdued force. Helen urgently caressed the other side of Nikki's face from her ear to her cheek, running her now trembling fingers gently over Nikki's smooth lips.
"And here," Helen murmured, "Did she here?"
"Yes Helen," Nikki replied. Helen closed the distance between their mouths stopping short before reaching Nikki's lips.
"Did she like this?" Helen asked huskily before tracing the outline of Nikki's lips with the tip of her tongue. She paused waiting for Nikki's answer and moaned in despair at Nikki's confirmation before roughly reclaiming Nikki's mouth with her own. Hard kisses turned into a languid, smoldering exploration. Nikki felt Helen's acquiescence as the kisses turned from rough to sensual and moaned into Helen's mouth. She stepped into Helen, grasping her tightly around her waist pulling her against the full length of her lean, lanky body. Hips against hips, breasts against breasts spurred Helen to deepen the kiss further leaving both women gasping for air. Helen paused her reacquaintance with Nikki's lips, tongue and mouth long enough to shove Nikki brusquely down on the couch. Helen also took another moment to hitch up her knee length black skirt over her hips revealing her black thigh high stockings, a black lace garter belt, and black lace panties before joining Nikki on the couch straddling her hips. Nikki struggled against the weight of Helen trying to sit up but Helen placed her hands on both of Nikki's shoulders pushing her back down on the couch. She reached to stroke the exposed olive toned skin above Helen's stockings but Helen stopped Nikki's inquiring hands.
"No, I don't want you to touch me, not yet," she said firmly taking Nikki's hands and placing them in an acceptable position on her hips. Helen's actions let Nikki know without a doubt that this was her show and Nikki was merely here to play a role. Nikki hoped it would be a significant part. Helen hastily began to unbutton Nikki's shirt fumbling clumsily with the third button. Helen growled in frustration before ripping the rest of Nikki's shirt open. Nikki looked up at Helen in surprising alarm. She'd never had the chance to see Helen in such an impassioned state and didn't know whether it was a good thing or not. However, just as quickly as Helen's ire had arisen, it was quickly abated replaced with gentle care as she tentatively pushed Nikki's shirt over her creamy white shoulders. She slid Nikki's bra straps over her shoulders, pulling it down, freeing both of Nikki's breasts from their bindings. Helen leaned back stealing a quick moment to survey Nikki's full breasts watching them rise and fall in response to her labored breathing. Helen unconsciously licked her lips before she leaned down to kiss Nikki again. As she was kissing Nikki, Helen began to knead and mould Nikki's breasts under her hands feeling Nikki's nipples stiffen in response to her care. Helen nipped at the delicate skin at the nape of Nikki's neck, moving to her ear sucking the lobe into her mouth giving it a firm nibble. As she was pulling away, she whispered her voice hoarse with desire,
"Did she tell you how sexy you look when you get turned on, how your face gets flushed when this is being done to you," taking Nikki's nipples in between her fingers rolling it lightly causing Nikki's nipples to tighten under her hands. Nikki's eyes closed as she surrendered to the onslaught of desire that Helen's skilled hands were evoking from her. She bit her lower lip to keep from crying out in sheer pleasure not even realizing when Helen stopped the movement of her hands altogether.
"Nikki," Helen said sternly, "I asked you a question. I need you to answer it!" Helen's tone of voice was demanding but what Nikki saw in her eyes spoke of another story altogether. Helen was pleading with her.
"I'm trying. Really. Helen, I am." she tried to reassure.
"Try harder," Helen countered.
"No," Nikki said.
"No?" Helen whispered dazed.
"Helen, Helen, Helen," Nikki sighed, "The answer to your question is no." Helen's entire being shuddered in relief and she had to rest her head against Nikki's for a moment as she let the response to her question slowly settle and in a voice too thick with emotion simply replied,
"Good." Once again they were kissing. Helen resumed kneading and teasing Nikki's breasts. She began inching her way down Nikki's body taking her time to nip and suckle tender spots on Nikki's neck, her shoulders, and her collarbone. Helen worked hard to maintain control over her zealous desires for fear that she might take a chunk out of Nikki's tender skin. Tenderly, she kissed her way down to Nikki's breasts until her mouth replaced her hands. She circled Nikki's right nipple with her tongue before sucking it fully into her mouth. She alternated between stroking the nipple with her tongue and sucking it.
"Did she touch you here like this; did she tell you how amazing you taste," Helen questioned looking up over the swell of Nikki's breast.
"She did touch me like this, but no she never told me how good I tasted," Nikki responded.
"Oh Nikki," Helen breathed inadvertently over Nikki's nipple causing a shiver to ripple across her body. Helen had enough of this and abruptly sat up long enough to quickly unbutton and unzip Nikki's jeans. She leaned back down over Nikki looking into her penetrating dark brown eyes that were now glossy with desire at the prospect of what Helen was about to do. Helen slid her hand sinuously down Nikki's taut stomach and slipped her hand underneath the waist band of Nikki's pink lace panties to cup her throbbing center.
"You're very wet," Helen spoke her Scottish accent thicker with desire.
"Am I Helen?" Nikki parried.
"Mmm hmm," she confirmed.
"Tell me, Helen," her voice a caress.
"Oh how soft you are," Helen began, "Like velvet. I want I want " Helen struggled for words.
"What darling? What is it that you want?" Nikki asked with muted eagerness.
"I want to be inside you," Helen answers looking into Nikki's eyes. Her hand moves slowly at first and then begin to press. Helen pauses momentarily. Nikki raises her eyebrows in a question, waiting.
"Did Caroline touch you here, Nikki," plunging two fingers inside the prone women's wet abyss.
"Yes," Nikki groans struggling to remain coherent. Helen takes Nikki's groans as a sign of encouragement and pressed harder into her flesh. Helen thinks over and over to herself,
"It is me who is touching her, it is me who is making her wet, and it will be me that makes her come." Helen positioned herself so that her center is straddling Nikki's left thigh. Helen moves her hips and her hand in time as if to the rhythm of a metronome. Helen feels Nikki meet each thrust of her own hips and hand steady at first. Nikki's movements quickly become erratic at the same time that Helen feels Nikki's moist insides beginning to clamp down on her fingers. Helen moves her lips to Nikki's ear and whispers throatily,
"You're going to come soon, Nikki. I can feel it. I want you to come for me," and with that request Helen applied gentle pressure on Nikki's clit while maintaining the rhythmic motion of her fingers. Helen moves her mouth to claim Nikki's in a fierce, urgent kiss, tongues thrashing madly against each other. Nikki unable to take anymore pulls her head away causing Helen to look at her in concern.
"Look at me," she says to Helen, "Watch what you do to me," Nikki's hip buck wildly at Helen's hands. She moans Helen's name as her orgasm rips throughout her entire body. Helen watches the flush of Nikki's orgasm sweep across her body and face in amazement. Amazement at the other woman's capacity to be vulnerable to her after all she has put her through. Helen stills the movement of her hand and looks away from Nikki, suddenly shy. She rests her ear against Nikki's above her breast listening to Nikki's heart beating wildly in her chest. Helen knew that there was one question left to ask. This question would place her in a position of vulnerability before Nikki. Something she has never been able to do for anyone. The feeling left her extremely uncomfortable.
"Oh well, it needs to be done," she thought to herself. Nikki's heart began resuming its normal pace beneath her chest. Helen delicately extricated her fingers from inside of Nikki. She raises her eyes to Nikki's biting her bottom lip with apprehension, brows furrowed, eyes troubled. Nikki maintained Helen's gaze patiently sensing that the other woman was struggling yet knew that Helen needed time to sort out her feelings and gather her wits.
"Nikki," Helen started her voice barely above a whisper, "Did she touch you here," Helen bent her head down to place a gentle, if not reverent kiss on Nikki's breast bone, underneath Nikki's heart began to beat harder again at the implication of Helen's question. Nikki sat up pulling Helen snugly into her lap. Helen wrapped her legs around Nikki's waist binding them even more tightly together. When Nikki looked at Helen, she saw the fear that threatened to spill out of Helen's eyes. Nikki cupped Helen's chin in her hands.
"No Helen," she said her voice as soft and sure as a prayer, "You're the only woman that has ever touched my heart." Helen closed her eyes causing the unshed tears to spill out of her eyes over her cheeks, and let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.
"Good," she whispered back leaning her forehead against Nikki's. Helen then took Nikki's hands and placed them firmly on her breasts.
"Nikki," Helen spoke hesitantly, "I want you to take me. Make me yours again," she pleaded. And Nikki did.
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