DISCLAIMER: Star Trek is the property of Paramount, this story depicts a loving relationship between women...okay disclaimer done.

The Count
By ralst

'Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty...'

"Lieutenant, what are you doing?" Came Seven's inquisitive voice.


"Counting what?"

"Nothing! I was just counting." B'Elanna snapped


"The Captain suggested that the next time you anger me I count to ten before I start screaming at you." B'Elanna looked Seven up and down. "It is supposed to calm me down and thus stop me from killing you."

"Does it work?"

"You're still alive aren't you?" The half Klingon then precedes to give Seven a look that says 'carry on talking and you might not be.'

"Yes, but you seemed to be counting for a long time just to reach ten."

"Well yeah, but at ten I still wanted to rip your arm off and beat you with it, so I upped the number to one hundred."

"And one hundred is sufficient to allow me to live?"

"So far, yes."

"Perhaps I should try it." Slightly wistful from the former borg.

"Why would you need to?"

"There are sixty-three ways to kill a Klingon using a data pad." Seven casually waved the pad in her hand. "Does that answer your question?"

"Sixty-three?" Gulp. "Sure, question answered." Takes a step back. "Just count to ten, erm, one hundred under your breath before comment, or action. Okay?"


The two part.

'One hundred and twenty-one, one hundred and twenty-two, one hundred and twenty-three...'

"Seven are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to answer me?" Flared B'Elanna.

'One hundred and twenty-eight, one hundred and twenty-nine...'

"Come on answer me!"

'One hundred and thirty-five, one hundred and thirty-six...'

"Seven!" 'One, two, three..'realisation hits the frustrated engineer. "Okay, so how many are you counting to?"

"Five hundred." Stated the ex-borg.

"Five hundred! I only count as high as one hundred and fifty-three with you." Hands on hips, this is not a happy B'Elanna Torres.

"Then it would appear that you are more annoying." Implant arched in a manner calculated to ruffle the other woman.

"Me! Ha! That's rich." Getting in close B'Elanna points her finger in Seven's face. "You are the most annoying person on the ship. No! In the whole quadrant."

"The numbers would indicate otherwise." Seven looks down at B'Elanna's finger, "Now if you do not wish to loose that digit, I suggest you remove it from my face."

"Are you threatening me?" Hands on hips once again, and finger tightly protected inside her fist, B'Elanna glowers at the taller woman.


'One, two, three...'

'One, two, three...'

The two part.

"Hey Lanna, you fancy coming to the holodeck with me and Harry?" Tom called on seeing his wife in the mess-hall.

"No thanks Tom, Seven and I have some engineering proposals to work on."

'One, two, three...'the borg begins to chant to herself.

"Oh come on, you have to take a break sometime." Whined the helmsman.

'One, two, three...' B'Elanna takes up the mantra.

'Nine, ten, eleven...'

"I said no Tom."

"We are busy Lieutenant Paris." Interrupted Seven.

'Eight, nine, ten...'

'Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen...'

"Well, I guess if you'd rather spend your time sitting in the mess-hall going over engineering reports with your new best friend than visiting the holodeck with your husband, that's up to you." Tom crossed his arms waiting for his wife to capitulate.

'Twenty-nine, thirty...'

'Thirty-seven, thirty-eight...'

"Yeah, I think I would." B'Elanna smiles at the insignificant little man and goes back to scrutinising her data pad.

"I." Tom turns an interesting shade of red and abruptly leaves.

"So Seven, how many do you think you would have counted up to?" Smiled the half Klingon.

"Two thousand, three hundred and forty-one, is my mean average for Mr Paris," Seven looked the other woman in the eye, "but I have gone as high as three thousand two hundred and ninety-four."

"Really?" Seeing Seven's nod B'Elanna searches her memory, "I think the highest I've got with him is four thousand and twenty-one."

"You have more patience than I would have thought." Admiration has entered the ex-borgs voice.

"Not really, only after all this time I've become somewhat immune to the worst of it."

"It is a pity you are with someone for whom you have to develop an immunity to their annoyance." Seven takes B'Elanna's hand in both of hers.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

"I no-longer count when we are arguing." Confessed Seven.

"Me either." B'Elanna intertwined her fingers with Seven's. "I've grown to like our arguments, they make me feel alive."

"Yes, for me also."

They leave, together.

"One, two, three, four," little Annika counted out loud as she tries to dance with Seven.

"You're doing great Anni." Calls B'Elanna on entering the room to find her wife and child practising, yet again, for the Captain's birthday dance.

"Two, three, four. One, two..."

Seven smiles over the head of the four year old, while trying desperately not to step on her daughters toe.

"Just count under your breath Seven, you'll soon pick it up." B'Elanna laughingly advises the suddenly uncoordinated woman.

Seven grins, "Well if I can pick you up by doing it the fox-trot should be easy."

B'Elanna playfully throws a cushion at her wife before getting up to join her family at dance practice.

"One, two, three, four. One, two..."

The End

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