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The List
(Or Why Angelina Jolie is So Overrated)

By LN James


How was it possible for an hour to feel like a lifetime? Unfortunately, Ashley was finding out exactly how. Annoyed, she had already completed the following: picked out her clothes for school tomorrow; organized her underwear drawer while she was there (hmm, perhaps too many black panties and bras? Nah, Spencer once said black was definitely her color); alphabetized her CD collection; wrote 1/3 of the lyrics for a new song (tentatively titled "Simmer and Smolder" – subtitle "What Spencer Does After I Kiss Her"); made her bed – first time in months; downloaded a new live Snow Patrol song to her iPod (Chasing Cars) and for kicks, a couple of cheesy show tunes for Spencer; created two new playlists and burned 3 cds; went downstairs, twice, for bottles of water, once for snacks; tried out two new hairstyles in the mirror (note to self: tight buns only look good in jeans); did 50 ab crunches; and finally found her missing phone charger (in her beach bag? Why? Oh, and Spencer's raspberry lip gloss. Thank you, Jesus!). When she actually started to do her English homework, she had had enough. She sat up on her bed and threw a sock over at Spencer, watching it bounce off the blonde's head and land in her lap.


"Hey yourself! Is that show over yet or not?"

Spencer smirked, cocked her head to the side, and for emphasis, held up the remote and clicked it off. "As a matter of fact, it is."

"Good" Ashley smirked back.

"Good" The blonde nodded while they playfully stared each other down. Ashley blinked first before clearing her throat and pointing at her girlfriend.

"Because you do realize that we have been losing valuable make out time. And I'm starting to do my homework. Hello, homework. Save me."

Spencer laughed as she stood up from the beanbag and stretched, her arms raising, taking the edge of her shirt up just a bit over her belly, not that Ashley was staring or anything. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for those angsty, moody tortured types who are strong yet surprisingly vulnerable, tough and slightly insecure, but can ultimately kick ass."

Ashley raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips together, "Oh really?" and then paused, frowning slightly, "Wait a minute..."

Spencer came over to the bed and stood in front of her girlfriend, chuckling as she let her fingertips brush against Ashley's knees. "You are definitely my first choice, Ash, always."

Ashley let out a small laugh before smiling sweetly up at her girlfriend, her voice playfully sarcastic, "Good thing I'm all secure and you know, non-angsty, what with being Spencer's first choice and all. Hey, wait a minute, what time is it?"

Spencer quirked her eyebrows quizzically as the brunette pretended to look at the non-existent watch on her arm before holding up her hand and laughing.

"Oh yes, it's that time! Why Spencer Carlin, I do believe we are at that stage in our relationship wherein we must create The List."

At this, Spencer looked down at her with a cautious smile and eyes squinting just a bit, "The List?"

Hopping up off the bed, Ashley grabbed some paper and pens from the table and pulled Spencer back over to the low pillows on the floor, sitting down with a smile, "You must not have gotten the memo."

The blonde settled next to Ashley, their shoulders touching and laughed, looking over at her girlfriend, "Ok, what memo?"

With a slightly mischievous look, Ashley nodded, "Yeah, usually Headquarters is pretty good about sending out the memo to the new girls. We like to keep all the recruits on the same page, you know. Easier to corrupt that way."

With a playful push of her shoulder, Spencer laughed and leaned over, starting to plant a light kiss on Ashley's cheek. The brunette turned quickly and captured Spencer's lips for an all together unchaste kiss (blame the blonde for the unchaste part, she started it with her tongue, Ashley was just reciprocating). When they parted with slightly flushed cheeks, Ashley raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"See? Our techniques are working! I distracted you with my beauty, charm, and wit and you couldn't help but slip a little tongue. You were helpless against the power of my strong, yet surprisingly vulnerable lips. I really should get, like, two toasters and possibly my own Olivia cruise line for that."

Spencer cracked up, letting herself fall against her girlfriend, "Hey, don't I get any points for scoring a smoking hot California babe with my sweet and innocent Midwestern allure? I know I got that memo, I sent it out!"

They laughed easily together, something they had done their entire friendship-now- relationship. And it didn't hurt that Spencer looked adorable when she laughed, her eyes squinting in happiness and her nose crinkling just a bit. Must be that sweet and innocent thing, it corrupts just as much, and at the most unexpected times and places. Like that one time? When they were out for breakfast with Spencer's dad and brothers? In a restaurant, in public. French toast actually dropped from her own mouth when she felt the blonde's hand on her bare thigh under the table, squeezing slightly and roaming just a bit, like we're talking, you know, naughty-roamy, as Spencer was retelling one of the sweetest, cutest, most saccharine stories about the little puppy they had back in Ohio. Its name was actually even something like "Lucky" or "Buttons" or maybe "BooBoo". The whole time, Spencer just smiled and laughed with her family as if nothing were happening. So yeah, the memo on the allure of sweet and innocent? Spencer wrote it, set up a training seminar on the web about it, and published a whole novel on it - effectively making millions and winning converts and acolytes across the Red States. California girls were doomed. The end.

Ashley bit down on her lip and handed Spencer a piece of paper and pen, "Ok. So, The List."

With mock seriousness, the blonde took the items and nodded, "Yes, The List." Looking down at the blank sheet, she cocked her head to the side and eyed Ashley, "Question. Um, wtf?"

Ashley looked at her, "You did not just say the letters w, t, f. Tell me you didn't, because o, m, g, that is too cute."

Spencer laughed and shook her head, "Whatever, if you don't tell me about The List sometime in the near future, like now, we certainly won't have time to make out before I have to go b, y, e, b, y, e."

Ashley smirked at her and held up her hands, "Fine, for the sake of making out sometime in the "near future" (airquotes), I'll fill you in. The List is essentially like winning an immunity challenge on Survivor. We each get to write down 3 people who, if given the opportunity, we are allowed to...you know..." At this, Ashley raised her eyebrows and smiled suggestively at Spencer.

Turning to face the brunette, Spencer crossed her arms over her chest and smirked, "No, I don't know, Miss Davies. Why don't you tell me all about it?"

"Anyyyway, these are like, you know, our fantasy celebrity-type people, and we'd probably never ever find ourselves in that situation, BUT if we did…," Ashley paused, smiling at Spencer, "our respective girlfriends would totally like be all understanding and ok about it. Sort of like a free pass."

The blonde nodded her head and curved her lips in a grin, "Oh, a free pass, huh? Ok. So like if I find myself and this List person at the Chateau Marmont on a Friday night, this being L.A. and all, I could totally have sex with her or him and my "respective" (airquotes) girlfriend would cheer me on from the sidelines saying, 'Go ahead, baby, I totally understand and am ok with your hands all over fill-in-the-blank, you've got a free pass to have sex with not-me'. Is that right?"

Ashley's brows knitted together and she frowned a bit, "Um, well, yes, technically that's how it works. But wait."

Spencer held up her hands and laughed, "Oh no! You said we each get three people and a free pass! I'm so taking advantage of my list!"

The brunette mumbled to herself, "Damn, that memo."

Ashley looked over at her girlfriend who was smiling back at her, looking quite amused (second note to self: do not show Spencer where the Marmont is, especially on a Friday night, or really, any day that ended in 'y'). She couldn't help but return the look and shrug her shoulders. Just as Spencer looked down to her paper and was getting ready to write down names, Ashley put her hand out and stopped her.

"Wait. There's one rule, it's kind of universal. I think they covered that in a supplemental fax or something. You don't get faxes here do you? No, I didn't think so. So, the rule is: Everyone's list must start with Angelina Jolie. So write her down first."

Spencer watched the brunette scribble the name down on her piece of paper and squinted, "Wait, Angelina Jolie? What if I didn't want her on my list?"

Ashley paused, looked at Spencer, and cocked her head to see if she was serious. Her look said Who are you and How could you be immune to La Jolie?

The blonde nodded, "Yeah. True. You're right. I see the wisdom in that rule," and she carefully wrote down the name next to a neatly numbered space before adding, "But I am so not babysitting for her and Brad afterwards. I draw the line there."

Ashley chuckled, "Ok, I predict that you're going to list all the bad girl types, like Michelle Rodriguez or Pink or whoever."

Spencer smiled sardonically and cocked her head, "And I so predict that your list is going to be completely full of the girls next door. Kelly Clarkson much?"

The brunette smirked, "Funny."

Spencer shrugged her shoulders, "Yes, I am. Very. Thanks."

Shaking her head, Ashley picked up her pen,"Ok, we'll take turns listing people. And if someone lists a person who is totally ew, then the other person gets to veto."

"Hey, so not fair! My ew and your ew aren't necessarily the same. I think we should get to put whoever we want, no two ews about it."

Ashley rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, "Fine, whatever. But I'm just trying to preserve the sanctity of our relationship. Apparently, that's a big deal to people so I was simply doing my part. But hey, if you want the ew, then who am I to stop you."

With a smirk, Spencer nodded, "Why, thank you, Ashley. Your sense of nobility is duly noted and appreciated." After she said that, her expression softened and she leaned over, placing her hand gently on the brunette's face. With a smile on her face, she closed her eyes and tilted in, letting her lips rest lightly on Ashley's. The kiss was tender, and they both fell into it, letting themselves press against each other. Ashley's hands found the sides of Spencer's face and neck, pulling the blonde closer as the kiss deepened. With little murmurs, they breathed against each other's mouths, kissing as if the world itself depended upon their contact. Lips and tongues and teeth. When they finally pulled apart, Spencer's cheeks were flushed red and her eyes were heavy and dark shade of blue (Final note to self: Simmering and smoldering, definitely).

Ashley licked her lips and smiled softly, "Um, yeah…"

The blond smiled back, running a hand through dark waves of Ashley's hair, "You know, about that List?"

Ashley raised a brow and cocked her head to the side, "Yeah?"

Spencer pulled the brunette into her lap, settling them close, and let her voice drop to lower octave, "I already have my # 1, and only, choice right here. Yours is the only name on my list. I don't need or want anyone else…no free passes, no immunity."

Ashley nodded and smiled, letting her eyes wander across Spencer's face, "Yeah, fuck The List. Whoever sent out that memo clearly never met Spencer Carlin. She's all mine. Angelina's so not gonna get lucky with my girl next door."

Spencer chuckled, letting her forehead come to rest against Ashley's, "Now, about this making out business…"

Ashley's smile reached her eyes and she pulled Spencer towards her, "Finally! I've been waiting allll night."

Hopefully, the next two hours were going to last like two lifetimes, plus or minus a few thousand years, because it wouldn't be hard being with this girl forever. Especially if she continues to do that with her hand. And that. Life is good.

The End

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