DISCLAIMER: Star Trek is the property of Paramount, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
"Hey, guys, get a room!" Tom joked, jovially. Unheard over the music in Chez Sandrines, he moved fully into the large room and drew closer to the characters who were all over each other in his holodeck programme, characters he didn't recognise at first. But, as his brain partially engaged, his bottom jaw dropped. "B'Elanna?"
She spun around quickly, calling out, "Computer, delete character BF1." Instantly, the person she'd been passionately kissing vanished.
"Who was that?"
"Oh, no one," B'Elanna brushed off, displaying a 'captured' look to her husband. She tried to change the subject.
"Tell me," he persisted, but she just stared at him. "I know the code now," he warned, waving a finger at her, his lip curling in triumph. "I can bring her back, whoever she was."
"Alright, alright," B'Elanna said, closing the gap between them and standing in front of him, arms folded. "You asked me, last night, what my fantasy was, right?"
"Right," he agreed uncertainly.
"Well, that was it," she finished, inclining her head towards where she'd just been standing.
"Kissing a woman?" She nodded to him. "Well, why didn't you say so? Hell, I could have set that up a long time ago and..."
"Who was she?" he asked, suddenly thinking he'd vaguely recognised the other person, or what he'd been able to see of her behind B'Elanna as he'd entered the room. The face of Ms Mystery had been towards him but, being kissed at the time, he hadn't seen enough of it to identify her before she vanished.
Again B'Elanna stared sullenly at him, refusing to speak until he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head, reminding her in a non-verbal way that he could certainly bring the character back - and would do.
She was trapped. "Kathryn Janeway." The admission was said quietly, as B'Elanna looked to one side.
"What? Ha! You got the hots for the captain?" Tom was delighted, in a schoolboy sort of way.
"Fantasy, Tom. Remember? Never supposed to happen?"
He grinned. "So, do I get to see you carry out this fantasy of yours?"
"Look, forget it. Bad idea, OK?" Feeling far too exposed she glared at him and strode from the holodeck.
Tom watched her go and then couldn't resist activating BF1. Janeway sparked into 'life'. "Wow," he approved, looking the hologram up and down. Janeway was dressed in a low-cut black dress, the hem of which ended above her shapely knees. Her hair was looser than the Captain Mantle allowed and her whole attitude was open and friendly, much more so than normal. "Hello, there."
And, after spending a further twenty minutes in the company of a more compliant Janeway, Tom was coming up with a wicked idea.
"Captain, how's your 'Let's play a joke on someone' level today?"
She smiled crookedly, looked up at him over the ready room desk and leaned back in her chair. Tom was always good for a laugh. "What d'you have in mind, Mr Paris?"
"It's B'Elanna. She... well, Captain, she surprised me last night, and, yeah, I know that happens, but not quite like this."
"Surprised you? How so?"
"We were talking fantasies and..."
Janeway held a hand up between them, sitting a little more upright. "Should you be telling me any more?"
"If I want your help, yes. I want to pull her leg a little here."
"I won't hurt her, Tom," Janeway warned. He nodded, relaxing her concerns. "All right then. Carry on." In spite of herself (and decorum) she had to know. "So, what was her fantasy?"
All the command training came in very useful as Janeway pulled it together rapidly. She didn't cough. She didn't splutter. She didn't change colour. She didn't let out a sound. She just sat there, face unchanged - although someone trained in such things might have noticed her eyes were glazing over a little. "Oh?"
Oblivious, Tom charged on. "Yeah, we were talking about it a couple of days ago you know? What our fantasies were? And last night I walked in on her, on the holodeck and..."
"That's not polite Tom," she reprimanded, "to walk in on..."
"It was my programme, Captain!" he objected, pouting, and when she conceded the point with a nod, he continued. "She was kissing a hologram of you!"
Now the command training faltered - a slight splutter, accompanied by a rapid reddening of her cheeks.
"I know! Incredible, isn't it?" he said, seeing her reaction. "I'm not surprised you're upset."
"What do you want ME to do about it?" she managed. "Talk her out of it?" The captain got up and walked to the upper level, sitting herself down on the couch, still staring at Tom, entirely unsure how to play this, or even what he wanted from her.
"No. I want you to be there, on the holodeck, YOU, not a hologram. Pay her back, Captain. Play along, like you're not real. But you WILL be." He looked delighted with his planned deception. "She'll be so shocked!" he added gleefully.
"Playing games, Mr Paris?" Janeway growled in a dangerously low voice.
"Just a little one."
"Take care, Tom. Games have a way of backfiring on people."
"Yeah, but it'd be fun, wouldn't it? Huh?"
"Well, look... OK, I know it's an odd thing to ask but I think you've got a fun side in there somewhere, and I don't think this is anything you can't handle."
"Really? How nice to get your vote of confidence." She stared up at him as he approached and stood over her. "You know," she told him, "this has to be one of the strangest things - you're asking me to kiss your wife for you? On the holodeck? With her thinking I'm a hologram?" He nodded enthusiastically. "Am I supposed to let her know I'm real?"
"Hell no, not right away. Tell her on the holodeck, before you leave, or call her in here later and blow her up about it. Come on, Captain. Let's have a little fun, here, huh? Will you do it?"
Janeway stared at Tom. For a long time now, too long, Kathryn had been attracted to B'Elanna Torres - B'Elanna Torres who was married to Tom and off-limits. Tom's current idea was wrong but it was attractive to her, and infinitely do-able. It was a way she could at least get to kiss B'Elanna, which was all she'd ever have. And Tom was ASKING her to do it! The idiot. "Alright," she agreed slowly.
Tom practically danced all over the floor with glee at the upcoming prank. "This'll be great. You'll see. You won't regret it."
B'Elanna didn't know how Tom had managed to talk her into this, but she'd agreed. He was to have his fantasy for the evening; she was to have hers Janeway - a double date at Chez Sandrines, dancing into the night. In her short black dress she cast her eyes around the room. It appeared she was the first to arrive.
And there were their dates, sitting together, chatting over a drink at the table. She smiled warmly at the sight of Janeway. Ah, she thought, Tom must have been here already - she noted that he'd tweaked the BF1 character a little, the rat. It was HER fantasy. But she had to admit she liked the changes. Janeway's dress was cut a little lower than it had been before, showing an abundant mass of freckles on her exposed skin, and the straps were a lot thinner too. The midsection of the dress fit more snugly and the skirt flared out, just a little, still showing off those trim knees. But the hair... that was the biggest change. It was wild, free, not at all like the captain's every-hair-in-its-place style. It was beautiful.
Kathryn looked up as B'Elanna approached the table. Her stomach knotted inside but she smiled brightly, hoping she could bring off what she had in mind here. She rose and took hold of B'Elanna's arm, kissing her cheek softly, lingering a little, before pulling her down to the seat beside her. "It's good to see you again."
"Yeah," B'Elanna answered, a little flustered at the look in the hologram's eyes. "It's good to see you, too." She cast her eyes over the hologram again. "You look great."
B'Elanna smiled at the other guest. Tom, being essentially weak, had always been drawn to strong women. And Bodicea was a pretty strong woman. She sat there, blonde hair a rage around her bare shoulders, looking probably far more beautiful than she had been in life but, hell, she was Tom's fantasy, not hers. Let him enjoy it.
At that moment, Tom entered the holodeck and saw the group, approaching them. Kathryn kept her eyes on his as he neared, smiling slightly at the abashed look on his face. "Captain," he said, genuinely surprised, reaching down to take one of her hands. He brought it to his lips and kissed it, looking over it into her eyes. "You look lovely. I hardly recognised you."
"Thank you, Tom. But, you know, your wife looks lovely too. I think a compliment there wouldn't go amiss?"
He had forgotten B'Elanna. "Uh, yeah." He turned to look at her. "Cute," he said.
"Cute?" She glared at him. "The captain gets, 'You look lovely', and I get 'Cute'? You know, Paris, your interpersonal skills could use some improvement."
Instantly Kathryn reached across to B'Elanna's arm, pulling her up. "Let's dance, shall we?" she said, sweeping her away from Tom and over to the dance floor before the dark-haired beauty could object. Once there, looking at B'Elanna standing so close, Kathryn hesitated only a moment before she overcame her nerves and took hold of her, drawing her into the dance.
But B'Elanna was preoccupied. She was looking over Kathryn's shoulder, every chance she got, at Tom, who was already in his stride, one arm draped around the blonde, chatting up his Bodicea. "He never sees me," she said in a quiet sad voice. "Never gives me compliments, never makes me feel loved, or in the slightest bit like a woman."
"I find that hard to believe."
B'Elanna jumped; she hadn't expected the hologram to reply. She stared at it. "Well, believe it." Slowly she scanned every inch of the hologram's face, finally reaching out a hand to touch Kathryn's cheek, marvelling at how 'real' it all looked and felt. "You're exquisite," she whispered.
"I would be. I'm your fantasy," Kathryn replied in an equal whisper. She held B'Elanna tighter, forgetting about Tom.
"You're my fantasy?" B'Elanna paused, working it out. "Tom tweaked your programme more than I thought. You weren't supposed to know about the fantasy bit. But yes, you're mine."
Kathryn pressed closer, "And you're mine, B'Elanna," she whispered in her ear. "You're my fantasy too."
Oh, what the hell... Tom annoys her - it's what he does best. She should just loosen up and enjoy the evening. "Really?" she asked, relaxing, running her hands down Kathryn's back and over her haunches, then up her back to her neck, where she played with the hair at the neckline a little. Her hologram groaned. "You like that?"
"I like it fine. Please, tell me more about your fantasy. What is it that you want?"
Drawing back a little, B'Elanna looked into the hologram's surprisingly emotional eyes. "I want to kiss my captain. You. I want to kiss her thoroughly and have her kiss me back. And then I want to..." But she trailed off, unable to continue.
First things first, Kathryn thought. "Your captain's here, B'Elanna," she breathed, moving her lips to within a millimetre from B'Elanna's own and pausing there. She groaned slightly as both of the engineer's hands came up to capture her face, as B'Elanna scrutinised her. "Don't look at me, kiss me," pleaded Kathryn, not playing any kind of role any more.
A little way into the kiss she realised one thing: this hologram wasn't kissing her like the original one had done. Had Tom tweaked that, too? It would be just like him, to give her the best shot at her fantasy. Silently she thanked him as she gave and received, received and gave, and became lost in the kiss. When she finally broke away, she found breathing had become a little difficult. Even more surprising, the hologram was reacting in the same way. "Well done, Paris," she complimented aloud.
It broke the mood. "I beg your pardon?" questioned Kathryn, pulling back to look into the brown eyes.
"I don't know if I should tell you this, but my husband tweaked your programme, made you a lot more..." she grinned at her, choosing her words, "alluring, interesting." What the hell, it WAS just a hologram she could tell it anything. "You kiss better, too."
"You think a hologram can ever be as good as the Real Thing?" asked the hologram.
B'Elanna frowned. Was a hologram supposed to say that? This one was reasoning; demonstrating self-awareness... it was practically sentient. It was an interesting point, though, and she gave it some thought. "No, probably not. Are you saying that the real Kathryn Janeway would be even better?"
"Better than the original hologram, yes," said Kathryn mysteriously.
It took B'Elanna only seconds to put it all together. "Oh, God," she blurted out, pushing both hands against Kathryn's upper chest, trying to push herself away.
But Kathryn held on to her tightly. "B'Elanna. B'Elanna, listen to me. Please, act naturally."
"After what we just did, and then I find out you're real? Are you kidding? D'you have any idea how embarrassed I am right now?"
"Shhh. Hold me closer. That's right. Look like you're having fun, can't you? After all, I AM supposed to be your fantasy."
"But I don't understand. How...?"
With B'Elanna's arms back around her now, Kathryn explained into her ear, "Tom came to me - asked me to do this, as a joke on you. You were supposed to find out later. I'm to end up indignant, or something; yell at you, that kind of thing. He wanted me to turn it back on you, for daring to play out this fantasy."
"So that explains what Tom wanted. What are YOU doing here?"
"I tried not to be. I tried to tell him to go to hell, and take his sick jokes with him." She paused, and when she spoke again, her voice was barely audible. "But I couldn't."
"Why not?" B'Elanna pulled back to see her face, puzzled. "Tell me."
Kathryn was nervous of the reaction. "Because I..."
"When Tom came to me with this hi-jinx, it offered me the chance to kiss you. Harmless enough, this way, I thought."
"Without repercussion. I wasn't going to tell you it was me keep you believing I was a hologram and have it backfire on him - but I couldn't do it. If we were going to kiss, I wanted you to know I was real. So I guess I've dropped myself in it."
B'Elanna studied the downcast eyes that were awaiting judgement. "Are you regretting it?"
The eyes raised immediately. "Saints, no. I only regret that I allowed myself this much when there can be no more. Oh, don't bother explaining, I know. You're married to Tom. I understand." B'Elanna tried to say something but Kathryn seized the moment, thinking it might well be their last, and kissed her again, slowly. And when she pulled back, B'Elanna seemed to have lost the power of speech. Instead, the happy half-Klingon initiated another kiss, which lasted even longer.
Tom Paris, his head held captive on Bodicea's chest and his view intermittently obscured by her occasional stroking of his face, watched them lazily. They had a certain something, he thought. He could see why Janeway was his wife's fantasy. Hell, with her looking like that, she was his now, too! He'd never seen her look so... so womanly, so attractive and lovely. He'd been honestly surprised. But Tom was a little too dumb to ask himself why Janeway had made this kind of effort for the evening. Bodicea pulled his head away from her chest and he turned, absent-mindedly, sitting up and transferring his mind to another kissing bout.
"Oh, God. I've wanted this for so long," breathed B'Elanna breathlessly as the pair parted from yet another ground-breaking kiss.
"Oh, honey, me too. But I never dared. You and Tom, you both seemed so..." She sighed. "Even earlier, when you were alone, I was obeying the almighty Starfleet Protocol, instead of my heart."
"Would I ever have known?"
"That you're in love with me?"
Kathryn blushed and turned away. She hadn't meant for it to go this far, for B'Elanna to know the extent of her feelings. It was true, but what use... when B'Elanna was married to Tom? But she wouldn't deny it. "No. I wouldn't have told you. I didn't want you to know."
"A little late for that now."
"And you - how do you feel? Have I lost you, your friendship, with this deception of mine?"
"Oh, Kath..." B'Elanna answered quickly. "I've been in love with you my whole life, since before I even knew you. And when I found you, it didn't take an idiot to realise you were married to the uniform, the Protocol, the ship. I knew I could never have you, but you opened up such a need in me, so great that when Tom showed interest I..."
"It's all right. I understand," soothed Kathryn, stroking B'Elanna's cheek. "The question is, with what you've just told me, where do we go from..."
"Hey, you two!" called out Tom from his seat, having asked the computer, seconds earlier, to quieten the music a little. Bodicea was nibbling on his earlobe but he was actually looking bored. "Come over here. You can't go at each other ALL the time, you know. It's rude. Come back and be sociable."
They both let out a sigh together, which struck them as funny, and by the time they approached the table they were both smiling broadly.
"You're really giving it to her, Captain. I'm impressed," Tom whispered to Janeway as she sat down. Then he turned to B'Elanna. "She's one hell of a hologram, isn't she?"
"Thanks to your tweaking."
He looked confused. "Tweaking?"
"Well, she looks a whole lot better now. Kisses better too. You did a good job for me there, Tom. And it's not often I'm impressed."
Janeway thought she'd have a little fun of her own. "Yes, Mr Paris, your wife seems to like me just fine."
Tom shared what he thought was a conspiratorial grin with his captain, believing B'Elanna was still in the dark as to what was really going on. Kathryn winked back at him. Let him believe what he liked, she thought, but right now she was out to push it just about as far as she could, at Paris's expense. She turned her gaze on B'Elanna, who'd been watching her all the time. They shared a look, an unspoken instruction, and B'Elanna was ready to play the game. "Honey, I miss your lips," Janeway purred, pulling B'Elanna closer.
Tom watched in amazement as the captain initiated a searing kiss, right in front of him. Then she pulled back and winked at him! Winked at him!!! He wasn't sure whether to be really happy that the deception was going so well, or strike her down in jealousy. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all - the captain seemed to be having way too much fun. 'Probably repressed,' he thought, wondering what he might have unleashed.
She caught his drift. And played on it. "You know, Mr Paris," she purred. "I've been alone in command for a ve-e-e-e-ry long time now. It's so refreshing to be able to let go like this, don't you think? She pushed her chair back a little and pulled a startled B'Elanna sideways, laying her across her lap before kissing her again.
B'Elanna, for her part, got over the shock and played up brilliantly, although a lot of it wasn't acting at all. "Kath," she groaned, losing her fingers in Kathryn's already wild hair. "My fantasy."
"My life," whispered Kathryn, so quietly that Tom couldn't catch it. "I want to do a whole lot more than kiss you!" she added, aloud. With a mischievous look at Tom, she put a hand across B'Elanna's breast and squeezed it, sending the woman in her arms into confused raptures, knowing her husband was watching them.
"All right, now. That's enough!" shouted Tom, getting to his feet. B'Elanna sat up quickly. "Captain, this wasn't what we arranged."
It was B'Elanna's time to act now. "What?" she cried, looking from one to the other, resting her gaze on Kathryn. "You mean," she paused, trying to look suitably horrified, "You're the REAL Kathryn Janeway? She's the REAL Kathryn Janeway?" she asked of Bodicea. "God, no!" She turned on Tom, secretly enjoying every minute. "How could you DO this to me, you rat?" Then, because for reality's sake she thought she ought to, she turned to Janeway. "Captain, I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Isn't it more to the point to ask if you can forgive him?" she replied, looking at Tom. It was time to let everyone know that everyone knew. "It's over, Tom. B'Elanna knew some time ago that it was me and not a hologram."
He gawped stupidly at them. "But you kept it going? You kept this up?"
"Oh, yes," replied Janeway, "we did." She pulled B'Elanna closer. "We certainly did."
"I don't understand. Why?"
His wife interrupted. "Because she's my fantasy," she replied simply, telling him what he already knew.
"And what you didn't take into account, Tom, was that she might be mine too," said Kathryn.
"Yours?" he repeated stupidly but he was getting it, fast. "You mean I asked you to..."
"To do, with your consent, what I've wanted to do for years, but kept quiet about. Yes."
"That's why you gave in so easily!"
B'Elanna began, "And now that I know how she feels about me, Tom..." but she trailed off, her implication all too clear. And, just in case he really was that stupid, she looped a hand over Kathryn's shoulder, making it more obvious.
"I did try to warn you, Tom," Janeway said. "I told you that games have a way of backfiring on the people who play them, didn't I? I'm afraid this one might have backfired on you."
Tom looked to his wife. "You and...?" She nodded. "And us, where does that leave us?"
Standing, B'Elanna walked around the table. "Excuse me, Bodicea," she said politely to Tom's date. She pulled Tom to his feet and linking an arm through his. "Let's go home. There's a lot to say, OK?"
Tom had the grace to smile at the captain before they left. B'Elanna blew her a silent kiss. And the captain had the good sense to end the programme as Bodicea had never been her idea of a fun date.
"My fantasy?" B'Elanna asked her wife as they lay curled up in bed one evening, having been married a whole month.
"Absolutely. Come on, what it is... tell me?" Kathryn giggled, tickling her wife gently, knowing it always delighted her. She waited for a reply.
"My fantasy... mmm. Stop it! Let me think. Woman, let me think!" She slapped Kathryn's hands and the captain ceased her tickling and B'Elanna was free to think. "My fantasy..." she said slowly as a suggestive grin spread across her face.
"Chocolate sauce," she decided with a wiggle of both eyebrows. "Spread by my good self," she trailed a hand over Kathryn's body, "over your good self, and then licked off at leisure." She grinned wickedly at the thought.
"Do you know, Lieutenant, that you have a happy knack for sharing the exact same fantasies I do?"
B'Elanna blinked in mock surprise. "Really?"
"Really." Grinning back, Kathryn leaned across to the cabinet beside the bed and pulled out... chocolate sauce. "Get going," she grinned, handing it over.
"Oh, yes ma'am, Captain, honey. This'll be my pleasure," she said, opening the bottle and watching Kathryn's anticipation grow. "And I'll make sure it's yours, too," she added. "You'll see."
"Oh," groaned Kathryn, as the first of the cool sauce was smeared on her body, "I have every faith in your abilities, Lieutenant. Every faith."
No verbal reply met that declaration. B'Elanna had always been taught that it was rude to speak with her mouth full.
Kathryn's mouth wasn't yet full. But she was very busy with it. She was calling up various Deities, between groans, and thanking them very sincerely for the woman known as B'Elanna Torres-Janeway.
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