DISCLAIMER: Characters aren't mine Fox owns them and whoever else created them owns them and I'm sure as heck ain't any money off of them.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: There are depictions of a loving relationship between two women and drug use in this, nothing major, just picking up where that STUPID series ender left off. DUMB FOX...whoops, there I go again. Oh yeah, and there's maybe two or three bad words in here too.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Thoughts
By Tygris

Part 3

 

Sara's thoughts when she finds Billie

Prologue

The young woman gently touched her mentor who was slumped in a back alley slightly twitching from a crash.

"Billie..." She whispered softly. "It's o.k., I'm going to get you out of here, o.k.?"

"Sara." Billie uttered.

"What?" the other brunette asked somewhat miffed.

"She can't know. To many questions."

Puzzled, the younger women gently picked up the former addict as though she were an injured animal. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." as she stripped off her jacket covering up the shivering Billie. She lead the older woman to her Mustang and gently placed her in the back seat, desperately trying to ignore her moans of pain and demands for more junk. The young woman made Billie as comfortable as possible, but furrowed her brow as Billie kept mumbling about one person in particular. Sara Mathews.


"I'm sorry, who are you?" I asked this kid who insisted rather forcefully that I talk to her.

"Nat," was all the girl simply stated as she uneasily looked around the bar oblivious to the stares of admiration directed her way.

"And you are here because....."

"Billie" She said bluntly still acting agitated.

"What about her?"

"She needs you."

"And you know this because......"

"She was right, you ask a lot of questions."

I rolled my eyes. It was certainly a strange week. This was the second time this week that someone had come in and talked about Billie.

I missed her. My time with her was short, but I still missed her. I took the second chance she offered me and decided to change my life around. I had grown tired of being a thief. Even before I knew that Billie was a cop, I wanted to be a better person for her. I wanted to take care of her with an honest profession. Changing was surprisingly easier than I thought. I guess being a regular at a bar and a flirt has its perks. Within four months, I had managed to double the profits, and convinced the owner to let me buy into the business. Soon, a second location would be opening up and I'd be totally running the show there. I had seen Billie in here several times, and I desperately wanted to run up to and hold her and tell her that everything I'd done was for her. Jill was right about one thing, I didn't often fall, but when I did it was hard.

Billie was different from all the others. She was strong and confident yet she had a vulnerable side to her as well. The first time I held her, she felt uncertain, and her lips quivered when I kissed her. But she also had a certain air about her. She walked with a purpose yet she still needed to be protected.

I had never made love to anyone like her before. I knew even though we spent one night together, she certainly had been with a women before. Her kisses were full of need and desire, as if I could truly complete her. When Van showed up all I wanted to do is protect her, when Jill wanted to harm her, I didn't hesitate to protect her, even from my best friend. But when I felt that wire on her, I wanted to kill her. I saw the way she looked at me after I found the wire. She almost looked sorry, and for a moment I thought she did. I wonder if she even let me hit her on purpose.

"Care to step outside?" Nat asked trying to be casual breaking my thoughts.

"Um...you really aren't my type, and you are a bit to young for me." I loved being a jerk sometimes.

"And you think the earth would move for me? I like Brunettes." Nat shot back.

God this punk had issues! I did have to admit though, that her fiery temper did make her kind of cute. She then grabbed my arm and pulled me close and in a hoarse whisper rasped out. "If not for me, then for Billie!"

"What's wrong with her?" I pulled back quickly, I then noticed an urgent look on her face.

"Come with me." With that Nat grabbed my hand and led me through the crowded dance floor. Once we reached the back hallway she almost shoved me out the back door that lead to a back parking lot. "I didn't know what else to do" Nat babbled, "She's talked about nothing but you since..." she then started to cry "She's hurt! And bad"

"What?" I croaked out barely containing myself.

"I heard that she had been missing for a few days. I thought maybe she went back to her old life you know? So I visited a few of her old spots, and that's where I found her, the alley, she's coming off the smack....God she's hurting bad!" Nat's eyes welled with tears.

I grabbed her by the shoulders forcefully "Where is she!" I demanded.

Nat pointed to a white Mustang as we both tore across the darkly lit parking lot.

Nat opened the door to her car and I will never forget what I saw for the rest of my life. Billie was laying in a fetal position mumbling incoherently rocking back and forth. Her mouth and forehead were bloody and her one arm had a few trails of blood on it.

"Oh my God" I gasped as I almost threw myself down beside her in the cramped back seat. "Billie?" I asked quietly. Her lips were moving, her eyes were glazed over and unfocused as her head swayed back and forth like a newborn child. I took her head between my hands and pulled her close.

"Billie, it's me....Sara."

"She's back on the junk," Nat spat out "What did you do to her!"

"Me? Listen here you little brat." I shot back, I was about to ring this kid's neck when I felt Billie shudder in my hands as she let out a pain induced moan as she grabbed her stomach "Something's wrong we need to get some help!"

The Candy Store. That's were Nat said she'd be safe. I crawled in the back and cradled Billie's head in my lap. She began to shake wildly and groan pathetically as Nat raced through town. Her body was soaked in her own sweat, soaking my pant legs as well. Her eyes were open and her lips were moving almost as though she was living in her own private hell. Nat was on the phone babbling to someone about something swearing the whole time.

I had never seen someone coming off of drugs before. Jill would smoke some dope now and then, but never in front of me. Me I never touched the stuff. My former high was being a thief. Nat had said something about Billie's former life and being back on the junk. I never knew that Billie was an addict, but at that moment I didn't care, I just wanted to protect her.

Billie was beginning to scare me. Occasionally she'd kick so wildly I thought she'd kick a hole right in the middle of the back seat. When her words were legible, they weren't very nice. I did my best to hold her and keep her calm. I held her head close to my face as I whispered soothingly in her ear that she'd be fine, and it would all be over soon. I really don't think she had any idea what was happening to her. I had to use all my strength just to hold her still and keep from falling on the floor.

Once we got to the Candy Store everything was a blur. We were greeted by Van, Deaq and her boss, Bob Parish. All three of them helped carry Billie to her room upstairs. She swore, kicked and screamed the whole way up. Once they laid her down I got her some water and had no trouble convincing her to drink. God knew when the last time was she drank judging by the way she gulped the liquid down that I offered her.

I solely focused on Billie for the next hour as her three guys argued about what to do. Nat ran back and forth with basins of water for me and helped me hold Billie when she'd thrash violently. Occasionally Nat would yell at the three men telling them to shut up, or take it elsewhere. I removed what was left of her white tank top and tried to mop up her sweat soaked body as gently as I could. It was then I noticed some bruises on her ribs.

"God Billie." I murmured, "What happened to you?"

Nat scrounged up some ice and made a couple of ice packs for Billie's ribs. She caught my hand and tried to focus on my eyes as I placed the pack on her chest.

"Please, just leave me," she begged. I don't know if she knew who I was or she thought she was talking to her attacker.

Bob Parish approached the couch and knelt down to Billie's level. "Billie," he asked, "what happened?"

Billie simply squirmed as she clutched her stomach. She forced her eyes open, tears streaming down her face as she answered, "Help me."

I immediately took her hand and held it, afraid if I let go, she'd melt away and I'd loose her for good.

"Did you shoot up on your own?" Bob asked.

Billie squirmed again, "No."

"Thank God," I murmured under my breath.

"Do you know who did this to you?"

"Yes.....Gab.....Gabriella," she then let out a wild scream calling Gabriella some pretty crude names and hollered for anther fix vowing to kill us all should we not supply her with one. Nat stepped forward and helped me hold Billie down. Her eyes were wild with a deadly fury. "Give me a fix!" she screamed over and over again.

Bob returned to Van and Deaq they argued some more as Nat continued to swear at anything and everybody.

Whoever pumped her full of this drug knew exactly what they were doing. It was scary to see someone you loved so addicted to something that it possessed them.

Finally it was decided to pull the old bait and switch trick in case we were being watched.

"Do you have some place to take her besides your apartment?" Deaq asked.

I nodded never taking my eyes off of Billie. "I have a cottage on the coast I'm fixing up. About half an hour from here."

"Good. Nat will leave with us, pretending to be Billie, we'll call in a friend of ours to drive there." Van added.

So it was settled. Within a half hour, Billie was injected with some drug that Bob gave her to help her relax and carried out by a young officer named Jared. Van and Deaq would follow the next day with my car and some of Billie's clothes for her long journey of recovery.

Again I sat in the back seat with Billie's head cradled in my lap. She seemed a little more relaxed. The drug had done its trick. I simply sat there stroking her hair and rubbed her back as if she were a vulnerable child. Jared and I exchanged several worried glances, neither of us prepared for what would happen next.

I thought I heard her mumbling my name a few times, and I even thought I heard her say she was sorry, but it could have just been wishful thinking.

Once we arrived at my place, We both carried her into my room with great difficulty. Billie was not a happy camper, the drug had worn off and she punched and even scratched Jarod on his face. She was screaming for another fix and hurling any insults she could make up at both Jarod and I. I know my mouth isn't always the cleanest thing, but Billie's vocabulary would make a sailor blush!

The next few hours were sheer hell for Billie as her body slowly and mercilessly expelled its drug in every way possible. She threw up the poison that was viscously injected into her. I held her as best as I could. Poor Jarod, his face was whiter than a sheet as I held Billie on my toilet as the drugs passed through her, cramping her stomach as she doubled over screaming, almost slumping to the floor. Jarod and I would half drag and half carry her back to bed where she'd groan and thrash about wildly from her withdrawals. A couple of times I'd climb in the shower with her as I'd try and cool her down a bit.

Billie never once looked me in the eyes. It must have been embarrassing for her to have Jarod cleaning up the mess that she made, and me cleaning her up after she made a mess. Several times I'd crawl into bed with her and simply just hold her as tight as I could as the tremors would course through her body making her perspire while her breathing slowed.

Finally after several long painful hours, Billie began to relax. She still shivered every now and then, but when she did, I'd simply pull her in close to me and stroke her hair. I had no idea what time it was, hell I didn't even know what day it was. I wasn't even aware that Van and Deaq had dropped off my car and some clothes for Billie. Jarod told me they had even slipped into the room, I didn't notice.

"Why don't you get some rest? I'll sit with her awhile," Jarod asked gently.

"I'm alright."

"You look like hell!" He added.

"Thanks," I replied simply, I still had Billie's head cradled in the crook of my arm. She'd have an occasional tremor surge through her body. On the whole, she had calmed down considerably yet her sleep was troubled. "Have they found the person who did this?" I asked.

"I'm sure they are closing in." It was then I noticed how tired Jarod looked too.

Both of us heard a knock on the door. Jarod drew his gun then lowered it as Nat peeked her head in somewhat sheepishly.

"How is she?" she asked.

"I'm sure she's been better." I responded blankly.

Jarod's cell phone rang, he excused himself and quietly lefty the room.

There was an awkward silence between Nat and I for a few minutes. At first, I wanted to wring this kid's neck, but now I almost respected her.

"Thank - you for bringing Billie to me." I said sincerely looking Nat directly in her eyes.

"Trust me, I wouldn't have, but I panicked. And she was mumbling about nothing but you from the moment I found her. I thought you might be able to calm her down better than anyone else."

Billie slightly groaned and I pulled her in closer and began to rub small circles on her back.

Nat shifted uncomfortably as she continued, "She's madly in love with you, you know. Every time she checks up on me, she talks about nothing but you." A shy grin crossed her face. "Um, why don't I sit with her a bit. You look like you could use a break."

The sincerity of Nat's voice touched me. It was clear that this girl too had deep feelings for Billie. I reluctantly nodded, rest did sound good.

Nat took Billie's weakened form in her arms and she began to hum softly. I noticed Billie's eye lids flutter open. I instinctively leaned in closer.

"Billie?" I reached out to touch her.

Billie saw me and instantly recoiled looking away, tears brimming in her eyes. Somewhat hurt, I stepped back.

Jarod re-entered the room and explained that Bob would be coming up this afternoon escorting Billie to a drug rehab center that specialized with celebrities and therefore had top notch security. No word yet on Gabriella, and Van and Deaq were pulling every favor and chasing every lead that they had.

Nat and I helped Billie to my bathroom and cleaned her up as best we could. Nat selected some clothes for her to wear for her trip back into town. I simply held Billie in my arms as we rested on my couch in the living room waiting for Bob to pick her up. She still refused to look at me.

I must have dozed off, the next thing I knew Jarod was gently shaking me telling me to wake up. Billie was being led out somewhat awkwardly to a white SUV with darkly tinted windows. I followed her to the vehicle.

"Billie." I called out softly.

Billie stopped, and without turning around simply replied, "Thank you." with that she was helped into the SUV by Bob. Bob turned and threw me a gentle smile, as if thanking me too.

I watched as the SUV pulled away and raced down the winding road. I was unaware that I was crying until Jarod pulled me into a firm embrace.

"She's a fighter, she'll make it."

I prayed silently that we would both make it.

 

Epilogue

The black SUV passed a white Mustang speeding out of the Girl Bar Parking Lot.

"Jerk!" The driver spat. After tonight forget about it, the driver thought, after tonight, it would be over. Once the driver paid a certain blond one final visit, it would be all over.

"I think she left." The Bar girl answered briskly.

"Oh?" the driver asked.

"Yeah, she was being led out by some cute kid."

"Thanks anyways."

So plans had changed yet again. No worries, Gabriella would still have had her final revenge on Billie Chambers, and it would end with a woman named Sara Mathews, just when and where would be a bit delayed. But now it was time to just simply disappear for awhile. After all Diamonds were a girl's best friend, and best friends never leave. Patience is a virtue.

To Be Continued

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