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"I can't believe this," B'Elanna muttered whilst pacing around the confines of the stuck elevator, in the Thingamajig Clothing Emporium, (slogan: we make it cheaply in the slave labour camps of Triceti, you wear it proudly), Mall Alpha Twenty-three Beta Branch.
"Oh it's one great leisure facility!" She continued, impersonating Neelix. "It will put your Risa to shame!"
It had all started a few days ago as the Voyager limped towards Invavue Iranu, which roughly translated into Federation Standard as Maplin's World, for much needed repairs and shore leave.
At first B'Elanna was quite enthusiastic about the whole thing. The entire planetoid, (roughly the size of Pluto) had been enveloped in a colossal dome, whilst the giant graviton generators, and the dome itself kept the gravity and atmosphere to a model Class M Planet.
This piqued the Engineering and technology interest of both B'Elanna Torres and Seven of Nine. The pair had already had a long night discussion on why the dome was needed, when the planet utilized the standard terra-forming equipment.
So after investigating the planetoid's technology, the two ladies would then investigate the unspoilt National Parks, which, according to Neelix, rivalled Yosemite, Yellowstone and the Yorkshire Moors National Parks on Earth.
However as Voyager limped slowly nearer, it seemed that Neelix wasn't exactly telling the truth, or at least didn't know all the facts.
"Captain the whole planet is a Holiday Park and Shopping mall!" B'Elanna exclaimed, as she, Seven and Tuvok confronted the Captain, enquiring why their respective requests to stay onboard Voyager had been denied.
"And Lt?" Janeway enquired
"Captain," Seven interceded. "The Whole Economic and Governmental Philosophy of this planetoid is based on free market consumerism. It mirrors almost identically the economic follies of late C20th and early C21st Earth, and whilst it is an intriguing subject, there are more pressing matters that need our attention."
"Which are Seven?"
"The repairs to the ship Captain."
Janeway ordered another coffee from the replicator, and stalked over to Tuvok. "And what's your opinion old friend?" She asked the Vulcan.
"Captain I believe leaving none of the senior officers in command, whilst the ship's repairs are being undertaken, is a security risk."
"Nonsense Commander, the Gamma shift personnel are quite capable of handling the repairs."
Janeway held up her hand to forestall any arguments that her Vulcan Senior Officer was going to logically put.
"However, I do concede to you that there should be at least one senior crew member on board at each watch rotation. Commander Chakotay and I will command the first rotation, as we both have paper work to complete. Ensign Kim will command the second rotation and you three the third."
Janeway sat behind her desk, and glared, like a schoolmistress at three miscreants. "Whilst," She continued, "you are off duty, you will all spend your non sleeping hours on the planet. The inhabitants of this planetoid have made us feel welcome, and we will respect their beliefs and customs, even if they are old misguided and antiquated. It is not up to us to try and change them!"
All three shot up an eyebrow at this comment, believing that her statement, a bit rich, after all the times she had broken the Federation's First Contact protocols whilst in the Delta Quadrant. However all three were wise enough to keep their mouths shut.
"Well that went well!" B'Elanna moaned sarcastically, as they entered the turbo-lift. "I can't believe you Seven. All your; leave it to me B'Elanna, I'll make sure that we do not go on shore leave!"
The Klingon gave Seven a look of disbelief. "I thought you were going to use the plan, that would involve the three of us upgrading the tactical and weapon control systems, and what do you say? The repairs to the ship Captain!"
"Lt I believe there is an old Earth colloquialism, that would fit the current situation."
"And what would that be Seven?"
The turbo-lift stopped, and the doors hissed open, and as Seven stepped out of the lift, she replied; "Grin and bear it!"
"Indeed!" Tuvok replied, as he too left the lift.
B'Elanna rolled her eyes, and sighed at her wife and her Vulcan friend. As the turbo lift descended towards engineering, and B'Elanna's domain, the petite Chief Engineer had a felling it was going to be a long Shore Leave.
Forty-eight Hours later, B'Elanna's feelings were coming true, as she paced the elevator.
"I mean who thought it was a good idea to give an elevator temporal awareness!" She continued.
"I believe it to be a logical answer to an age old question," Seven replied, not looking up from the padd she was working.
B'Elanna gave her love a quizzical look.
"It's a well known fact that intelligent beings do not like to travel in a public transportation device, with other people, whether it is the subway, an elevator, or a maglev, because they are afraid that they might strike up a conversation with them, and they'll have to reply!"
"Giving an elevator," She continued, "temporal awareness, allows it to know where it needs to be, and which floor the occupants need to go to, before they do, thus shortening any uncomfortable situations."
B'Elanna hit the control panel, "so, why by Kahless' left sweat soaked gym sock are we not moving?"
"I would guess logically, that something in the future is stopping it from travelling!"
"So we have to sit here until the lift counsellor talks the lift down, or in our case, up!" B'Elanna finished grinning.
B'Elanna noticed that Seven had not heard her little joke. She was absorbed yet again in the PADD.
"Be'nal, what are you doing?"
"I am trying to access Voyager's universal translator, so that it can translate the contents of this PADD into Federation Standard."
It was then that B'Elanna noticed that it wasn't a Starfleet PADD. Instead of being grey and rectangular, this one was red and hexagonal. "Where did you get this from?"
"It was handed to me by the proprietor of a shop we passed. She informed me that we might find it useful. I think they were called; 'flyers' on Earth!"
The padd issued a beeping noise and a satisfied smile graced the beautiful features of the former drone, which turned to amazement when she started to read the PADD.
"B'Elanna, this is a pamphlet for a sex shop!"
"Mrs V I Brator's shop for Female Pleasure!"
B'Elanna snatched the PADD from her wife's hands, settled between her legs. "Let's have a look," she mumbled, mostly to herself. Accessing the PADD the two Voyager crewmembers settled down to read
"Wow!" B'Elanna exclaimed, a little later. "How do they think of some of theses things?"
"I deem it to be a combination of lateral and imaginative thinking."
B'Elanna wasn't listening; she seemed to have a far away look in her eyes. "Be'nal," She whispered "how long will it take for the lift counsellor to arrive?"
"Didn't you say that Invavue's hours are longer than the Federation standard?"
"Correct. The lift counsellor will take approximately 2.5 Federation Standard hours."
"We have used some of the time up. How much have we got left?"
B'Elanna started to unclasp Seven's Bio-suit.
"B'Elanna, what are you doing?"
"Well as we have got time available."
"B'Elanna Torres are you trying to corrupt me?"
"Of course Soch!"
"You may proceed!" Seven replied, pulling her wife in for a searing kiss.
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