DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns them, I am just playing with them and I will return them and hit the reset button when I'm done. This fic also includes hints of f/f flirting. If that isn't your thing, please don't read on.
NOTE: Italics equal B'Elanna's thoughts

Unexpected Question

By Quew

'Lieutenant Torres,'

Eyes up! Her face is higher!

'Yes, Seven?'

'I was told to report to you.'

Oh Kahless, she's breathing deeply! Eyes up!

'Er, yes, of course.'

'Is something the matter Lieutenant?'

Stupid Biosuit, why are you so tight? How can she breath? Ok, stop that train of thought because I know where my eyes are going…

'Fine! I mean…' *cough* 'Fine. Never better.'

'You look slightly flushed, Lieutenant, and your respiration has increased.'

Oh, she is not catching me out with that trick!

'No, no, I'm fine. Now, what can I do for you?'

Very good; you're calm, you're collected and you're…still staring at her chest! Dammit!

'Captain Janeway has asked me to help you in engineering for a few days until Astrometrics is repaired.'

What is it with Janeway anyway? Why is she so insistent we 'learn to work together'?…I wonder if Janeways' seen her naked…


'Oh, I'm sorry Seven, I was…just daydreaming.'

'About what?'


Eyes up!


'Yes, Seven?'

'I was wondering if I could prevail on you to help me with something?'

'What, Seven?'

Oh no…now she's walking toward me…why does her chest have to be at the same height as my eyes??!

'Ever since I 'observed' yourself and Mr. Paris during your relationship, I have become increasingly curious about romantic interaction.'

She did have to bring up something like this now, didn't she…I might as well just give up…

'And I was wondering if I might ask you to teach me more about…romance..'

..............Okay, breath deeply, she is not asking you to get naked and ravish her here and now , she is simply asking for your help, you can deal with this, just smile…no, not like that! She'll think you're drunk! Okay, don't smile, just nod…that's it, keep your eyes away from her chest...

'S-sure Seven.'

Great, now I sound like some teenager on my first date…How about I clear my throat and try that again…

*cough* 'That would be fine, Seven. What sort of thing did you have in mind?'


Oh. Dear. Kahless.

'Lieutenant. Are you functioning within normal parameters? You have gone very red.'

Breath, just breath. Speaking of breathing, how does she breath in that thing? I can't move my eyes, oh damn I can't move my eyes, she's gonna think I'm some sort of pervert…I'm going to start hyperventilating… Maybe I should put my head between my legs…maybe I should put my head between her le- No! Bad thoughts! Concentrate, B'Elanna, you can do it…I could do it, with Seve- oh Kahless I can't stop! When did I become Tom? Okay, you're in the middle of a conversation, this is the part where you have to speak…

'Let me get this straight…'

I shouldn't use that word…How can I get this straight? I can't even think straight right now!

'…You want me to teach you about sex?'



She's got to be joking…Please don't let her be joking! Will I have to give practical demonstrations? Say something smart…

'So do you think I'm some sort of slut or something Seven?'

Why did I say THAT? Oh yeah, way to go B'Elanna, what a way with the ladies. That was such a stupid thing to say…I might as well go up to strange women and tried to get laid by saying, 'Can we do it in the dark? 'Cause girl are you ugly…'

'No, I do not B'Elanna. I find you a more appealing teacher than anyone else.'

Well…okay…I'm calm, I'm collected, my eyes are not staring fixidly at her chest…oh Kahless, I'm stood in the middle of engineering staring into her eyes (I never noticed how blue they were before) while she asks me to teach her about sex…I think it's safe to smile now…

'Sure Seven. I'll swing by after my shift, okay?'

'That would be acceptable lieutenant.'

The End

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