DISCLAIMER: Women's Murder Club and its characters are the property of James Patterson, 20th Century Fox Television and ABC. Dollhouse belongs to Joss Whedon and Fox. No infringement intended.
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It's been a long time since they've done it like this, clothes strewn all over the floor from the living room to the bedroom, enough candles lit to risk the fire alarm going off at the height of passion.
Lindsay closes her eyes, trying hard to focus for long enough to let the fear that has taken residue inside of her, subside. Her hands tighten around the sheet reflexively as her body enjoys the attention of warm lips and tongue, bliss and torture all the same.
The tension doesn't vanish though, on the contrary.
"Come on. This is supposed to feel good," Cindy says breathlessly, gently admonishing though.
Hands are caressing her own tenderly, finally relaxing her clenched fingers. "It does, believe me." It's only half a lie. Lindsay doesn't quite know how to tell her that nothing will ever feel or be quite the same until those four months have passed. "Before you stopped doing it, that is," she adds wryly.
Cindy places a soft kiss on her hip, entwining their fingers. "We've been over this," she says quietly. 'More than once', echoes unspoken.
"That doesn't mean I have to like it." If it sounds like a petulant child, Lindsay can't help herself. Blame it on the ungraciously delayed orgasm but then again, it's a good metaphor. Everything in their lives will have to be put on hold.
And if she can understand Cindy's side of it all, that doesn't mean the prospect is any less terrifying, for reasons of which some are rational, and some are not. She has thought of ways to change Cindy's mind, or if she can't do that, find possibilites how to make her stay, forget about the story that would most likely make her career skyrocket. Some, illegal, including abduction.
If Cindy doesn't meet her contact on time, less than a week from now, she's going to lose it. No four months trip to L.A. No obstacle to their other plans. Ironically, Lindsay knows, if she interferes with this Cindy will never forgive her, let alone make any more plans regarding to their shared future.
"I know you don't, but remember, I'll earn my share for the house. I don't want to be a kept woman." Cindy's smile warms her heart, but there's a place it can't reach. What Lindsay knows of Cindy's assignment is enough to make her worry, and it isn't so much to begin with.
She did some meddling with her girlfriend's blessing, contacted a homicide detective from L.A. she'd met at conference years ago, when she'd still been married to Tom.
They had kept in touch, and Brenda had promised to look out for Cindy. Short of doing it herself on her own turf, it's the best Lindsay can get. Cindy had shrugged and accepted it, well aware that if she didn't give Lindsay that bit of reassurance, the abduction plans could still become likely.
Not that she'd ever do anything like this. Cindy has a job and a part of her life that does not revolve around Lindsay Boxer. Sad as it is.
"I know. I can't wait for when we can finally move in."
"Me either." Cindy leans forward to kiss her softly. "And you know, I'm an old-fashioned girl. Marriage first."
The feigned casual way she says it is enough to nearly make Lindsay's heart stop. "You mean-"
"Of course. Unless you're having second thoughts about--"
"No." She cuts off Cindy's words with another kiss, pulling her close and on top of herself, the warm weight of her lover's body finally easing a bit more of the tension out of her own. "Marriage first, moving in. Sounds good to me."
"The time will pass real soon." Cindy's whispered promise does the trick. The contract for the house they've signed, and the other one, more figuratively, they're in it for better or worse.
This time, when Cindy makes love to her, Lindsay allows herself to just go with it, her body straining and finally finding that perfect moment, her mind without fear.
It's gone too soon and then she holds Cindy close to her, not showing her tears.
She doesn't want to jinx this moment of peace, the last one in four months to come.
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