DISCLAIMER: Birds of Prey and its characters are the property of Miller/Tobin Productions, Warner Brothers, DC comics etc. no infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a responce to a challenge peice on ralst.com in which the only requirement was that someone had to say 'What he hell ind of lesbian are you?' hense the title.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
What The Hell Kind Of Lesbian Are You?
By Erin Griffin
Usually, I'd wait with Gabby at the flagpole for Barbara after school, then she'd walk the three-five blocks home, but today was different. Today there was the start of a weeklong teachers' workshop after school from three to five. Not really wanting to share personal space with strangers on the subway, I opted for waiting, and spent the first hour chatting with Gabby before we started the walk to her house. Hopefully it'd kill enough time that I'd only have a fifteen minute wait on my own once I got back. "So let me get this... gay..."
"Funny," Gabby interjected.
"Thanks to Jack McFarland."
"Oh my god, you did not just ask me that. Every gay person and their mom knows who Jack McFarland is."
"Sorry, I don't."
"He's the more flamboyant gay guy on Will and Grace."
"No wonder. I don't watch that show."
"You don't listen to Melissa Etheridge AND you don't watch Will and Grace?"
"It's not like I change the channel in disgust or anything. I don't hear Melissa Etheridge on the country stations, anyway."
"And that's another thing-"
"Don't... go there," she warned, though I felt no bite to it. Still, I skipped it for the time being.
"Fine. Do you like Queer As Folk?"
"Don't get cable."
"What, am I less gay because I don't drool over her?" I shrugged. "She's a little creepy from what I've seen of her. She's pretty, sure, but creepy."
"How is she creepy?"
"I saw Girl, Interrupted, and something tells me it wasn't hard for her to play that character."
"She was acting. That is what actresses do to earn the big bucks. Well, that and look pretty."
"Okay, she married Billy Bob Thorton."
"You've got me there. Still, you don't listen to Melissa Etheridge, you've never seen or attempted to see Will and Grace or Queer as Folk, you're not an Angelina Jolie fan, you're not a vegetarian- far from it, actually.... you don't have anything rainbow colored, I doubt you own any gay/lesbian themed books or movies, and I've never seen you hit on any girls (even your so called crush, Gina) or go to any gay/straight alliance meetings. Hell, even I have gone to support you and Gibson. I'm completely lost. What the hell kind of lesbian are you?" By this time, we'd reached Gabby's front gate and my best friend had her hand rested on the latch before she turned to face me. She was annoyed, I could tell, but at the same time, she tried to hide some amusement as she seemed to think this over to humor me. Then she leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips.
"The only kind that matters," she said, undoing the latch and walking to her front door. I watched as she got her key out, threw 'see you tomorrow' over her shoulder as she walked into the house, and shut the door behind her, leaving me to think that through. Leave it to Gabby to have a parting statement like that.
"Huh," I said out loud before I began to make my way back to the high school. I couldn't help the smirk that apeared on my lips as I thought about what she'd said like that damn T.A.T.U song.
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