DISCLAIMER: Paramount own Star Trek, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women, and I was not in a proper frame of mind when I wrote this.
This is set just after the episode 'Collective'

Where is it?
By ralst

The bridge of the Starship Voyager, around teatime.

"You will never take this ship in one piece, my crew and I.." Began an exceedingly smoky voiced Kathryn, her pose of hands on hips and head held high was suddenly marred as a blonde head connected with her kneecap "oww, watch what you're doing Seven. Now where was I? Ship, pieces, crew, oh yeah, would rather sacrifice our own lives than see Federation technology.."


"We would?"

"She's been at the sherry again."

"Could you please move your leg?"

"No way Katie."

"As I was saying." Kathryn shouted at her mutinous crew, "erm, yes Federation technology in the hands of...ermm" the Captain looks around, wishing she'd had the foresight to write this speech down, or better yet just have Chuckles put on an auburn wig and do it for her. "Who are they?" She whispered to Seven, who was still crawling around on the floor trying to look under all the chairs.

"Species 3782, the Clarrutists, big hairy monsters that even manage to make Paris look handsome." Seven then proceeds to lift up Kathryn's left leg and peer underneath it.

"Right thanks, and stop that!" Planting her foot back firmly on the floor, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager, stood in her most regal of poses and addressed the viewscreen

"We will never.."

"They've gone." Came Harry's bored voice.


"They've gone, vamoosed, jumped the shuttle to Alpha Centuri," Harry now starts to attempt to sing "they left their hat and waved byebye.."

"Do they wear hats?" Came Seven's voice from by Harry's elbow.

"Er Seven, if you want to sit on my lap you only have to ask." Suddenly Harry wasn't so bored.

"I don't."

"Oh." Bored again Harry starts doing his nails.

"Hey Seven! You know if you want a real lap to sit on, then you need look no further than me." Tom said pointing to his lap and wiggling his eyebrows.

Seven stood up and surveyed the bridge, standing between her and Tom were Tuvok, Chuckles, Kathryn and a gorgeous looking, fiery tempered, passion inducing Lieutenant Torres. "You are correct Ensign, I don't have to look passed you." She then proceeded to wink at B'Elanna.


"Are you okay B'Elanna?"

"Fine, fine." Torres said from the floor, then seizing the opportunity she crawled around the back of the command chairs towards where Seven was now on her hands and knees peering under the carpet.

"Can we please get back to me now?" Stomped Kathryn.

"Yes Captain."





"Tom! Get over here, you've got to see this."

Scraping of chairs and a mad dash to the back of the bridge ensues.

"Stop! Get back to your seats! Now!" Katie is jumping up and down on her chair.

A very reluctant crew retakes their seats, all that is except for B'Elanna and Seven.

"I meant all of you." Kathryn direct to the back of the room.

No answer.


No answer.

"If you don't get back to your seats this instant I will...err...I will make you....make you share quarters with Tom." Declared the huffy Captain.

"Hey!" Whined Paris

Two streaks of colour race back to their seats, or in Seven's case bit of console to lean on, and try to look very busy.

"That's better." Kathryn straightens out her uniform and sits down. "Now where were we?"

"Stuck in the Delta quadrant."

"Thank you Chuckles, but I meant in our negotiations." If Starfleet Captain's engaged in such activities it would have looked as if Katie had just stuck her tongue out at her beefy second in command, but of course captains don't do that.

"The negotiations are over Captain." Supplied Tuvok.

"Oh right, did we win?"

"Win what?" Tuvok arched a brow and waited.

"Well whatever we were..." Kathryn cuts off as she sees a blue clad figure crawling towards the secondary engineering section, that just happened to be occupied by the chief engineer. "Seven, get back to your station."

"Just dropped my..." Seven looks to B'Elanna for inspiration, but the klingon just shrugs, "hair grip, yeah that's it, I lost a hair grip."

"Well hurry up and find it."

"I'll help." Volunteers a suddenly very helpful B'Elanna.

"No need." Barks the Captain.

"Well actually Captain, two sets of eyes would make the discovery of the object easier, and as such speed up our return to fully active and attentive duty." Seven tried.

"Okay, as long as you promise to listen, and I mean really listen, to me when you're done."



"What Seven?" Kathryn turns to see B'Elanna being given artificial respiration by the young borg, as Captain she did contemplate calling for the doctor, the welfare of her crew reasonably important to her, well as long as they didn't insist on wearing red, but Seven seemed to be doing an excellent job, even remembering to start chest compressions, and from the noises B'Elanna was making she was on the way to a full recovery.

"So Tuvok did we win?"

"Yes Captain we won." Tuvok then secretly crossed off another day on his calendar, only 9,376 to go and he should be back with his more mature grandchildren. He just hoped the Captain didn't want to see what she'd won this time, there were only so many things he could construct out of recycled leeola root stew.

"Well this calls for a celebration." Kathryn gets up to leave, "coffees all round in the mess-hall."

"Captain, someone needs to stay and fly the ship." Reminds Tuvok, even as the rest of the male members of the crew start to leave.

"We'll do it." Pipes up B'Elanna.

"Fine, you have the bridge Lieutenant." Katie smiled at the helpfulness of the young klingon, if she keeps this up, Kathryn thought, I might invite her to help me in some more personal matters.

The bridge empties of personnel, all except for Seven and B'Elanna.

"Right you, Captains chair now!" B'Elanna growled.

"In a minute." Seven then starts lifting up the carpet from the lower level.

"What are you doing?"

"Well this could sound strange, but I was sure I was looking after a baby yesterday, but now I can't find it." Seven stopped her search to sit facing the bemused klingon.

"Nah, if there'd been a baby on board surely someone would have mentioned it." Grabbing Seven's hand B'Elanna pulled her up, "Now I believe I said I wanted you in that chair."

"Yes ma'am."

Thankfully The End

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