DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. When I'm done I'll put them back right where I found them, honest. No ex-drones or human/klingon hybrids were harmed in the writing of this fan fic.
DEDICATED: to Alastria, for pressing the wrong button at the right time and inspiring my latest bout of madness.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Wrong Button
By Sparx

Harry Kim looked up just as a very naked Seven of Nine materialized on the bridge. Less than a second later she was gone. Harry would cherish the memory for the rest of his life.

Two seconds later, Chakotay glanced to his right in time to see a slightly soap covered ex-drone de-materializing in front of the ready room door.

By the time Janeway registered the now completely lathered woman in her ready room Seven was gone again.

When she reappeared, still soap covered, on the bridge it was right in front of the main viewscreen. This time the entire bridge crew witnessed her disappearance. For almost three minutes they witnessed her apparent ignorance of the situation as she flashed into and out of visibility, all the while apparently taking a shower.

Before a stunned Chakotay could order the slightly drooling Kim to contact the Captain, she appeared again. This time the soap was just sluicing away under a sheen of clear water.

A few drops of water on the carpet were the only sign they were not hallucinating.

A few seconds later they could see her holding a thick towel to her bare torso. Her look was ice as she glanced disdainfully around the too quiet bridge. Then she was gone. No one bothered to contact the captain as they waited to see where she would appear next.

Again the towel as she dried her hair. Then wearing a fluffy robe as she walked ignoring the phenomena that had her bouncing from the bridge to her quarters and back again. The robe gone with Seven reaching for something. That something revealed to be a jet-black biosuit at the next appearance. Utter disregard as she dressed without rush, while the bridge crew stared mute.

Flashes of activity lasting less than a second as Seven appeared and disappeared from the bridge again and again. The crew staring mutely, frozen in place, with only the toss of a head to track the next appearance. It was not until the view became simply Seven walking, fully clothed with apparent purpose that those on duty were able to tear their eyes from the scene and begin to wonder what had just happened.

"Mr. Kim scan the area for anomalies." Chakotay finally ordered as he went to look over the young man's shoulder at the console. He could swear he saw Seven sneer at him as she disappeared in a sparkling flash.

"I'm picking up excessive transporter activity on the bridge." Kim reported. Suddenly he added. "We just got a report from deck 9. Seven has been spotted in the corridor appearing and then disappearing."

"Report," barked Janeway as she stepped onto the bridge.

Tom was the first to answer. "Seven keeps appearing on the bridge and disappearing again." He said unnecessarily, as the women in question appeared on the bridge two times in as many seconds.

"It seems to be a transporter malfunction." Chakotay reported from beside Harry. We're getting reports from deck 9 that she has been spotted in the corridors. She's apparently on the move but being sent here every few seconds."

"The transporters are doing this?" Janeway asked incredulously. As she spoke she could clearly see Seven materialize on the bridge and ignoring everyone keep walking with her usual Borg stride.

"Sensors are picking up transporter activity here and in the areas she was seen on deck 9." Harry replied.

"Check the area of her last appearance on deck 9. She seems to be going somewhere, let's see if we can figure out where." Janeway ordered. Almost as an afterthought she added, "What was she doing when you first saw her on the bridge?"

All eyes turned to Chakotay and waited to see what their senior officer would say. While he fidgeted, Seven appeared several more times. Luckily for him it distracted Janeway.

"Seven can you hear me?" She called just before the blond disappeared.

"She's on deck 11. There's no report of her on the turbolifts, she must have used the access hatches." Kim supplied as he watched the reports roll in. "It looks like she's headed for engineering."

"I can't blame her. I wouldn't want risk transporting back into an empty shaft." Tom stated.

Seven appeared again and simply said, "Yes I can hear you." before she was gone again.

Janeway yelled into the air, "Where are you going?"

In the next second the still walking woman was again on the bridge. "Engineering." Came from her lips just as she vanished.

"Computer, emergency transport to engineering." The captain ordered. Immediately she found herself standing in the middle of engineering as Seven flashed into and out of her sight beside her. The ex-drone appeared again and headed with purpose towards the office of B'Elanna Torres and the sound of thumping coming from behind the closed door. Before she could disappear again she was through and had B'Elanna's hand in an iron grip.

"This damn thing doesn't work!" She exclaimed while bringing her free hand up to try and bash at the console before her yet again.

"It works perfectly." Seven stated calmly while grabbing B'Elanna's other hand in her meshed one.

"What the hell is going on?" Janeway growled from the door. Both women turned at the sound.

B'Elanna looked uncharacteristically sheepish as she stuttered. "What do you mean, Captain?"

Seven let go of B'Elanna's hands and crossed her arms over her chest. "The Captain wishes to know why I have been transported almost incessantly to the bridge and back for the last fifteen minutes." Seven clarified to the now wide-eyed woman.

B'Elanna looked from the console she had been pounding in a fit of Klingon anger for the last fifteen minutes to the steady blue of Seven's eyes. "But, it doesn't work." She said lamely.

Seven stepped around the desk and looked at the controls. After only a few seconds she looked up. "When you reconfigured this engineering transporter you failed to reset the memory chips. As a result you have been, I believe the term is 'hitting the wrong button' ever since."

"You mean…" B'Elanna faltered. All she could do is look between the two women. Soon Janeways shock would wear off and she would be in for a patented Janeway tirade. Then when the captain was done with her she would have to face Seven.

"I mean each time you struck the controls in your frustration, I was transported." Seven clarified with a lift of her brow as she looked at the dented control panel. "Your attempt to transport me to your office for an amorous liaison resulted in my being transported to the bridge. My shower was made most unpleasant as a result." B'Elanna paled as she looked at her wife. This was worse, much worse.

"Captain I'd like to apologi…" but Janeways raised hand cut her off. She'd got her bearings back and her evil side had kicked in.

"I'll speak with you later," she promised sweetly. "For now, I think I'll let your wife deal with you." With a nod to Seven she turned to leave the room. "Seven when you are done with her could you send what's left to my ready room?"

"I would be most happy to do so, if there is anything left." Seven promised while B'Elanna swallowed audibly.

With a small grin the two women said their goodbyes and B'Elanna waited to accept her fate.

The End

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