DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. When I'm done I'll put them back right where I found them, honest. No ex-drones or human/klingon hybrids were harmed in the writing of this fan fic.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Yet Another Turbolift Tale
By Sparx

The turbolift jolted to a halt.

Seven of Nine spent a few minutes trying to access the emergency controls, before turning to B'Elanna Torres. "It appears that this turbolift is malfunctioning. Do you have any suggestions, Lieutenant?"

"Well, since we're the only ones here, we could have sex." B'Elanna suggested with a leer.

Ignoring the look, Seven went back to examining the control panel again. After a moment, she looked at the Lieutenant, looked at the control panel and then looked at the Lieutenant again. Having come to a conclusion, she said, "Having sex will be acceptable, however, I do not wish to engage in that activity here."

"Why not?" asked B'Elanna, "We've had sex in the turbolifts lots of times."

"That is true. Every time we are stuck in the turbolift have sex." Seven replied cooly, as she turned and began checking connections.

"And that's a bad thing?" B'Elanna asked, as she moved up behind Seven. Wrapping her arms around the slim waist she snuggled into Seven's back.

"Do you realize B'Elanna, that we have been stuck in this same turbolift 37 times in the last four months? Doesn't that seem odd to you?" Seven asked as she allowed herself to relax, but only slightly, into the warmth at her back.

"Well now that you mention it, it does seem a little odd. But, since we find so many ways to keep ourselves occupied until it's fixed, it's not something I'm too worried about." B'Elanna said with a laugh. She would have said more, but Seven had turned slightly at the reply and she took the opportunity to begin nibbling her ear.

Seven was not about to be distracted so easily, at least not quite yet, so she added. "It is also odd that this string of turbolift failures began only days after your relationship to Mr. Paris was terminated."

B'Elanna inhaled sharply at hearing Seven's choice of words. Tom had been fun during the short time they had dated. And even though she had known from the start that he wasn't someone she would ever get too serious about, it still upset her from time to time. At first, she had consoled herself with the thought that getting sucked out an airlock was a quick death. When she had found out that the accident had happened because he was having sex with Jennifer Delaney at the time and one of them had ended up tripping the controls while in the throes of passion, she had consoled herself with the thought that, while quick, it was, for the few seconds it took to die, excruciatingly painful. That second thought cheered her right up and she immediately resumed snuggling into Seven again.

Seven, having felt B'Elanna tense and then relax, had a pretty good idea where her lover's thoughts had gone, however briefly. With the feel of B'Elanna now pressed more tightly against her than before, Seven merely smiled. The fact that said smile more closely resembled the smile of, say... a shark when it realizes that the floundering swimmer just ahead would make a great snack... was merely a coincidence and had nothing to do with her thoughts regarding Tom Paris and his subsequent demise.

"Well, it's not like we get in to a starbase for regular maintenance." B'Elanna reasoned, as she began stroking Seven's stomach, slowly migrating towards her breasts.

Still ignoring B'Elanna's actions, Seven continued examining the controls. "Does it not concern you, as chief engineer, that one of the systems you are responsible for, breaks down at such frequent intervals."

"Not really. At least not at the moment." B'Elanna replied with a grin, as her hands finally reached their goal of large firm breasts, which she began to massage eagerly. The grin became a growl, as Seven suddenly stepped to the side and out of reach. "Come back here!" She demanded.

"I believe it would be a better idea to beam ourselves out and summon a repair team." Seven stated, almost calmly, as she reached for her combadge.

Before she could tap the device, B'Elanna grabbed it and dropping it to the floor, crushed it under her boot. "Oh look. It's broken." she exclaimed. "What a shame." she added, hoping to sound at least a little sincere.

Seven raised her implanted brow, as she stared at the now useless device. While she was doing so, B'Elanna quickly removed her own combadge and put it in her pocket. When Seven looked back up and saw the absence of the device that her eidetic memory knew was there a few seconds ago, she raised her brow again, but decided not to comment.

"Now, we have no way to exit this turbolift until someone else reports the malfunction and a repair team can be sent." Seven stated.

"You're right. What a terrible thing." B'Elanna said. Stalking closer to Seven, she continued, "What do you think we should do until then?"

Seeing the look in her lovers eyes, and knowing that resistence was futile, Seven said, "We could have sex."

"Hmmmm, I suppose we could." B'Elanna answered calmly, just before she pounced.

Seven got her bun in place a few seconds before Vorik and Carey finally managed to pry the turbolift doors open.

As they were exiting, Seven said, "I still think this turbolift requires a complete overhaul."

"You know Seven," B'Elanna began, "I like this turbolift exactly the way it is. Who know's? Maybe it's designed to break down every time we're in it together." she finished with a laugh.

"Nevertheless, I will examine the starfleet specifications for this device to determine if there is..." Seven began.

"Oh, Starfleet didn't design this." B'Elanna interrupted ,tapping a small plaque just above the control panel. "Secondary systems are handled by private contractors. See?"

There, Seven could see the small brass plaque which simply stated.

Ralst & Co.
Satisfaction Guaranteed

"Indeed." Seven mused. "Perhaps they have also designed other of the ships systems and devices. I will check the ships records and perhaps we can examine any other locations designed by this contractor."

With a grin on her lips and a leer in her eyes, B'Elanna replied, "Perhaps we should. You never know what we might find."

The End

For those of you unfamiliar with turbolift tales, Ralst is a prime contributor of said tales on Voq_Je_Bang at Yahoo Groups. If you're interested in more turbolift tales, I suggest you check out the group.

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